YARR!

Captain Ayy-Hab rolls into view on his tricked out pretty pink princess bike, wearing two eyepatches for maximum swagger!

YARR MATEYS, WHAT IS A PIRATE WITHOUT HIS CREW?

AS SUCH, I AM OFFERING A LIMITED TIME OPPORTUNITY TO JOIN MY CREW!

I NEED FOUR MATEYS WORTHY OF THE PIRATE HAT?

AS IT STANDS RIGHT NOW I WOULD LIKE TO OFFER INVITATIONS TO THE GAME GIRL AND THE GINGER SNAPS!

IF YAR WANT TO JOIN THE CREW, SAY SO HERE! I WILL EVALUATE YOUR MERITS!

YARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Captain Ayy-Hab rolls out of view.

What would I do on your crew? Do I have to leave my brother behind?

<3 Gator <3

Pest:The Pest is curious.

"First mate Game Girl reporting for duty Captain! :D"


"Pirates are awesome! I'm on board too!"

Captain Ayy-Hab rolls back into view. He now has a cutlass on his hip and his shirt is even puffier.

YARR! THAR BE PUNDERIN', ADVENTURE, AND TREASURE!

He raises his cutlass in the air. A bolt of lightning strikes the cutlass and he starts convulsing.

YARRARARARARARARARARARARARARARAR!

He collapses to the ground and weakly raises his arm.

As for ye brother probably not, at least not any more than you do to be a rassler. Yarrrrrrrrrr...

His hand falls to the ground.

"Hmmmmmm...."

Count me in, then! I'll be the cook!

<3 Gator <3

"YARR! :D"


"YARR! :D"

I scrunch my face up and try and look mean and tough.

YAR!!

<3 Gator <3

"Uhhh... Yarr?"

Captain Ayy-Hab kips up to his feet and bellows out:

YARRRRRRRRR!

He then

I HAVE, THE POWARRRRRRRRRRRRR!

GOOD TA HAVE YE ALL ABOARD! ME TAILOR WILL VISIT YE ALL SHORTLY TA GET YA FITTED FOR YE PIRATE HATES, YE EYEPATCHES, YE PUFFY SHIRTS, AND ALL.

AS FER PEST AND MAVERICK, CONSIDER YESELVES CONSIDERED! YARRRRRRRRRR!

(07-23-2015, 08:28 PM)Maverick Said: "Uhhh... Yarr?"

"Don't let him in Captain, he takes the term poop deck literally!"

(07-23-2015, 08:31 PM)Game Girl Said:

(07-23-2015, 08:28 PM)Maverick Said: "Uhhh... Yarr?"

"Don't let him in Captain, he takes the term poop deck literally!"

"Oh come on, don't tell me you actually think I shat on the title! It's been nearly a year since that incident, and everyone still refuses to believe me when I say that X-Pac did it, even though I had video evidence! I actually had a little more faith in you, since unlike 99% of the company, you don't call people and such!

"Argh, whatever, at least I'm considered. As much as I have the urge to just rip into Pest for what he did to me, I'm not going to spoil the happy mood here."

Pest:The Pest would love to see you try something, Title Shitter.

We open to see Cyberjaw, the man with the cybernetic jaw, Clyde the orangutan, Robo-Rob, the robot from Rocky IV painted to look like it's wearing a Robbie Bourbon mask, and Diamondback, the man who can blend into any crowd. Lights flash on Cyberjaw's cybernetic jaw as he speaks in his thick Stephen Hawking accent.

Do you have any more room? Robbie only ever plays Ghostbusters or Star Wars with us, and frankly, I've got a 4G connection where my molars used to be, and Robo-Rob has a whopping 20 MB of storage. That's like four whole songs right there.

Ooogh, oogh oogh, oooooooooogh!

We can give the orangutan an accordian. Robo-Rob, show them your thing.

Cyberjaw picks up a bass guitar as Diamondback sits at some drums and Clyde picks up an accordion. The robot's lights flash...



How do you like our pirating dirge, captain?

(07-23-2015, 08:45 PM)Pest Said: Pest:The Pest would love to see you try something, Title Shitter.

"Please, name the date, so I can finally exact my long- awaited revenge. But let's save that for another time."

(07-23-2015, 08:46 PM)Robbie Bourbon Said: We open to see Cyberjaw, the man with the cybernetic jaw, Clyde the orangutan, Robo-Rob, the robot from Rocky IV painted to look like it's wearing a Robbie Bourbon mask, and Diamondback, the man who can blend into any crowd. Lights flash on Cyberjaw's cybernetic jaw as he speaks in his thick Stephen Hawking accent.

Do you have any more room? Robbie only ever plays Ghostbusters or Star Wars with us, and frankly, I've got a 4G connection where my molars used to be, and Robo-Rob has a whopping 20 MB of storage. That's like four whole songs right there.

Ooogh, oogh oogh, oooooooooogh!

We can give the orangutan an accordian. Robo-Rob, show them your thing.

Cyberjaw picks up a bass guitar as Diamondback sits at some drums and Clyde picks up an accordion. The robot's lights flash...



How do you like our pirating dirge, captain?

YARRR! THESE MATEYS BE MAKING THE STRONGEST CLAIM TO THE LAST SPOT IN THE CREW!

NOW TELL ME, MATEYS, COULD I MARK YOU ALL DOWN AS ONE PERSON? I KNOW ONE'S A ROBOT, ONE'S ONE OF THEM MONKEY THINGS, BUT I DON'T CARE FER PERTICULARS. I NEED YOU TO ALL COUNT AS ONE PERSON, FER PIRATE TAX PERPOSES.

(07-23-2015, 08:52 PM)Captain Ayy-Hab Said: YARRR! THESE MATEYS BE MAKING THE STRONGEST CLAIM TO THE LAST SPOT IN THE CREW!

NOW TELL ME, MATEYS, COULD I MARK YOU ALL DOWN AS ONE PERSON? I KNOW ONE'S A ROBOT, ONE'S ONE OF THEM MONKEY THINGS, BUT I DON'T CARE FER PERTICULARS. I NEED YOU TO ALL COUNT AS ONE PERSON, FER PIRATE TAX PERPOSES.

"Uhhhh... YARR! SHOULD YE TAKE THE ONE CALLED MAVERICK, YE GET A TRIED AND TRUE WEAPONS EXPERT! SHOULD WE BE HARASSED, YOU HAVE A TRUSTED COMBAT MASTER TO PROTECT THE SHIP! YARR! SONGS MAY BE NICE, BUT IF YOU GET ATTACKED, IT WILL MEAN NAUGHT! YARR!"

You don't know a single thing about cannons and other weaponry, do you?

Well... maybe not. But he doesn't need to know that! Nor do any of the other crew members!

Pest:The Pest is an old man. He preys on people and ran a crew of his own. One that Maverick was a part of, until Maverick showed that he will always be a disappointment. The Pest holds no love for Maverick.

(07-23-2015, 09:33 PM)Pest Said: Pest:The Pest is an old man. He preys on people and ran a crew of his own. One that Maverick was a part of, until Maverick showed that he will always be a disappointment. The Pest holds no love for Maverick.

"Yes, even though said group collapsed on itself on the date of Bad Medicine, where Scully and Muddy lost to Brick Squad, and you lost to Bruce Blingsteen. After that, there was no hope of you ever coming back into the limelight.

"And it's for that reason I'm glad I left. I never could stand being in the same group with a child molester, and some random country hick. Scully, while mentally challenged, is salvageable, and is still a decent tag partner, case in point being the Tag Title #1 Contender match, and the match where we won the Tag Titles from Sane and Gator.

"You may say you hold no love for me, Pest? Then I suppose it's only right for me to hate and despise you as much as a man can hate and despise one. and then hate and despise you some more! YOU ruined my chances in the MacClay Classic. YOU humiliated me on live television. YOU turned my ex- tag partner against me. And for that, you will face an eternal punishment.

"But, no more talking between us, at least for now. We're basically hijacking this pirate's recruitment offer, and that's no good for anyone. Should you wish to speak to me again, and potentially challenge me on another date? So be it. But for now? No."

It looks like the plan is working, guys. Pretty soon we'll be able to be pirates!

You do know that in order for us to be one tax entity, we'd have to get married.

Diamondback looks inquisitively at Cyberjaw, whose eyes go wide.

Well, boys, dirge harder! You know, Ginger Snaps would hate being a pirate. This next one goes out to her!

The band strikes up again...

"YARR! Ye see?! In order for them land lubbers called Bourbon Men or whatever they're known as to be a part of the ship, Ginger would have to relinquish her spot, even though she already signed on as the cook! YARR! Take me on, captain, and you'll have a more fundamentally protected ship, led by a crew matey who costs less! YARR!"

You know, you're really trying too hard with this whole pirate accent.

Eugh, I knew I was terrible at making a fake accent.

Oogh, oogh ooogh oogh oogh. Ooogh oogh oooogh oogh oogh oogh, oogh oogh. Ooogh oogh oogh.

I know you like Ginger, but otherwise me and Cyberjaw would have to be married. No. Besides, Maverick will wind up taking a dump from the crow's nest or something. And you may call us the Canvas Tarps.

Why are we the Canvas Tarps?

Best cover band around. This one goes out to Maverick!

1, 2, 3, 4...

"Mr FN' Dominance" Trax and his friend Paul " Extreme Machine" Hunter are observing from a distance. Extreme Machine is chuckling, Trax is shaking his head.


"Trax buddy maybe you should sign up? Could definitely pull off being a Somalian Pirate"

"Shut the fuck up Paul"

Banner created by Gabe "The Radical" Reno

XWF Career accomplishments/Highlights:

One Time XWF Universal Champion
Two Time X-Treme Champion
One Time Intercontinental Champion
One Time World Tag Team Champion
XWF All Time Top 50 inductee
One Time 24/7 Briefcase Holder
Intercontinental Royal Rumble Winner
Captained the winning team "Team Dominance" at War Games '15
Lethal Lottery IV Finalist
July 2015 Superstar Of The Month
March 2017 Superstar Of The Month
October 2016 Promo Of The Month "Changes"