WORLD 9 - LEVEL 1

P R E V I O U S L Y . . .
Game Girl set off deep into the Cursed Woods with Game Boy, hoping to find a way out and finally reach Death Mountain. After a long walk the two come across a small cave with an old man with a long beard wearing purple robes and holding a staff with a glowing purple crystal on top. He stares at the couple, GG whispers to GB.


"That the herbalist?"


"Nooooooo? That looks like a warlock."


"Ugh, just avoid him. Warlocks are creeps."

Game Girl looks ahead but Game Boy continues to stare at the crystal, the warlock speaks.


"You two make a cute couple, I like your cool t-shirt sir."

GG is confused but avoids the warlock as her and GB continue to walk, GB smiles.


"Thanks! I like your staff and beard!"


"Thank you. You should totally come into my cave, we can hang out and talk about cool things."


"Dude! I love talking about cool things!"


"Game Boy?"


"We can also play the newest popular video games on my Ultra awesome Warlock console, and also, I don't care if you smoke in here. I know parents don't like it but I think smoking is cool."


"O M G! Those sound like things I totally want to do!"


"You don't smoke! You don't even have parents."


"Wow. Way to be a buzzkill dude."


"Come on inside brah, I'll get some hot cocoa ready."


"Sweet! I love hot cocoa!"

Game Girl grabs Game Boy's hand to stop him but GB breaks the hand holding and rushes towards the warlock and his cave. GG stand there puzzled.


". . . The fCENSORED just happened?"

N O W . . .
Game Girl stands there for a moment and rolls her eyes, slowly walking to the entrance of the cave. Game Girl peeks her head into the mouth of the cave and sees Game Boy stone face slowly rotating over a fire, like some kind of rotisserie 16-bit chicken. Game Girl steps into the cave, shocked.


"What the heck dude!"


"I have no idea how this happened."


"That was so quick too!? How does someone start a fire that quick!? What is happening!?"

The warlock enters from the side holding some spices in a burlap sack, he smiles politely at Game Girl who is still confused as all kinds of heck.


"Oh, hey gurl."


"That's Game Girl to you creep!"

Game Girl unsheathes her Warhammer, determination now stuck on her face.


"What!? Since when?"


"Since everyone thought you died and Gretchin started calling me Game Girl."


"Aaawwwww you stole my name? Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame."

The warlock drops the sack of secret herbs and spices and lightning fills his hands as his friendly demeanor turns to a scowl as he fires bolts at GG's feet but she quickly leaps out of the way and rolls across the stone floor.

GAME GIRL

WARLOCK


"Paige! Let me loose I wanna fight!"

GB struggles in the ropes constricting him over the roaring fire, like a man stuck in a sleeping bag. Game Girl rushes the Warlock and takes a swing with her Warhammer but the magic man releases a black smoke that flows back a few feet where he reappears mumbling an incantation to himself as he moves his hands mystically. Game Girl prepares herself as she looks to the the struggling Game Boy, sweat dripping from his forehead.


"Little busy here GB."


"Fine. I'll just cook to perfection then >:|."

Game Boy pouts as he continues to rotate slowly and tries to fold his arms but you know, constraints and all. The Warlock throws his hands out theatrically and a beam of blue energy with electricity flowing through it shoots towards Game Girl; Paige swings her Warhammer deflecting the beam of energy to the side where it crumbles part of the cave wall, she steps to the side and rushes the Warlock, twirling her weapon in her hand before swinging it into the side of the Warlock's head. The foe is flung to the side and crashes against the wall, he slides to his side and rubs his head better.

GAME GIRL

WARLOCK


"OW! Totally uncool brah."


"The only thing uncool around here is you creep."


"And this fire, can't forget this roaring fire."

Paige raises her Warhammer high into the air and sends it down onto the cowering Warlock but the enemy vanishes leaving only his robe underneath the head of GG's Warhammer. She looks up stunned and her eyes dart around the cave as she puts her back against the wall.


"Great, now he's naked."

Game Girl looks at Game Boy shocked in disgust. She holds her weapon close to her chest as she looks quickly back and forth. Suddenly there's a flash of light followed by purple smoke and the Warlock appears in the air-


"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!"


"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHahahahaha you can see his butt!!!"


"Teeheehee butt. Wait!"

Game Girl has an epiphany as the Warlock in his undies draws near, with lightning speed she ducks under the legs of the Warlock and twirls around, swinging the Warhammer into the Warlock's lower back! The villain is crushed between the cave wall and GG's hammer and falls back to the ground, defeated but still conscious.


"OOfph! My tushie!"


"Hahahahaha!! You made him butthurt!"

Game Girl and Game Boy begin laughing uncontrollably as a faint YARR can be heard somewhere in the distance. The Warlock scowls and stands back to his feet, back to wearing his robe. Clothes spell, a very useful magic. He raises his hands conducting lighting from his fingertips as the pairs laughter dies down.


"GRR! Foolish interlopers! You have tested my patience for the last time, now DIE!"

The Warlock roars in anger as the lightning grows, GG's face drops as Game Boy starts to look worried, he begins to struggle in his restraints again to shake loose. Game Girl throws a her right hand to the floor and closes her eyes as the Warlock begins to take aim, the cave floor cracks underneath the Warlock and a bright beam of energy consumes his body. The Warlock screams in agony as GG's Power Geyser surrounds his body and the wretched foe breaks to pieces within the move. The geyser vanishes and Paige breathes a sigh of relief. In silence she walks to Game Boy, whose eyes are wide open, and she begins to free him.


"Aw, you have my powers too!? *Deep breath* LAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-"

Cut to GG and GB walking back down the path of the Cursed Woods.


"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammee. . ."

GB pouts and GG looks at him, stone-faced.


"Are you quite done?"

As the two begin to walk they see an

, the two stop and look at the creature who looks back and scurries away, dropping some gold coin held in his arms onto the road. The creature disappears into the overgrowth. The couple look at one another confused and walk to pick up the scattered gold, remember kids, it's not stealing if you find it on the ground or if it's a rare drop. As the two stuff their pockets, a sound draws closer to them, hooves hitting the dirt. The two stop picking up coins and look up, ready for a fight. A large brown stallion clops into view and peers at the two. Game Boy smiles at the horse as GG-


"EEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!"

Ow. Makes a high pitch squeal, shaking her arms excitedly. Game Boy pulls a face and sticks his pinkie in his ear to soothe his burst ear drums. Something I wish I could do, but alas I am just a voice, a simple narrator.


"A pony!(●´ω｀●)"


"What the heck dude! It's clearly a horse."

The horse comes a little closer to the pair and a saddle is clearly seen on the animal's back, along with a bedroll and bags. The horse goes down to chew on some grass as Game Girl bites her lip, her eyes wide.


". . . Paige, it's just a horse."

Game Girl turns to GB, fire in her eyes. Metaphorically of course. GB shies away quickly pretending he never said a thing and Paige looks back at the horse.


"It's not just a horse. It's a majestic creature and a wonderful companion. A friend for life! :D"

The horse comes closer, inspecting Game Girl and sniffing her hand. GG pulls the cutest face imaginable. Seriously, she looks adorable next to this horse, makes your heart skip a beat. GB sighs and smiles, proudly putting his hands on his hips.


"Well, he seems to like you. Might as well name him."


"Cloppers! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ"


"I refuse to ride anything named Cloppers. He looks like an Aggro."


"Aggro? . . . Yeah, that's cool I guess."


"It's very cool. Not sure why that popped into my head though."

Aggro lifts his head proudly and stands next to the two, the couple smile at each other and hop on the horse, GG holds the reigns as GB reluctantly sits behind Paige and the two clip clop down the path.


"With Aggro here we'll make it to Death Mountain in no time!"


"Heck yeah! Nirva's sword here we come!"

---

But wait! There's more! Almost immediately after setting off down the path, Game Boy fell asleep. Passing through the dark woods a small blue orb sails through the trees and stops next to GG, who seems a little pleased to meet the orb bringing news from Earth.

HEY LISTEN! NEW MESSAGE FROM [ROBBIE BOURBON] WOULD YOU LIKE TO PLAY THE MESSAGE?


"Go for it."

The orb floats next to GG as she moves along on Aggro and Robbie Bourbon's voice begins to play also projecting a small image.

Robbie Bourbon Said:Well, here I am

"There you are! Hey Robbie, pleasure to meet you projection to pixel."

Robbie Bourbon Said:You've been expecting me, haven't you? Is that another one of your gifts, or something you were just born with? Seeing the future sounds pretty dangerous, if you ask me.[/b]

"Pfft, I wish I could see the future. Imagine how simple it all could be? I could have saved Game Boy, he could still be the hero and I could go back to hiding in an abandoned shack and survive of the land... Why do I want that? Weird. Anyhoo, no I don't have precognition, I just know probability. Christopher beat you once before, any self respecting man wouldn't allow that to happen again. I'm not talking down on Mr. Isles at all by the way, the guy's good. But I'm saying a man like you wouldn't except defeat again, especially when there's something he wants on the line."

Robbie Bourbon Said:Well, you saw me coming, didn't you? And now there's no stopping me. Now that I think about it, that's not precognition. That's standing on the train tracks.

"Hmm. . . I sensed some sass there. . . Power of Trash Talk tooooooo 10%. That'll be fine for now. I guess you could say I'm standing on the train tracks, I guess I'm just looking at that train coming head on. But I'm not stuck. I'm not hoping for the train to hit me, it's very easy to avoid a train. I can just step off the tracks, happy I missed that train choo chooing towards defeat. Or, I could stop that train. Pretty gosh darn easily I can stop that train. There was another time when a train was coming right for me, and this was a bigger train. A HUGE train, carrying more weight than even yourself and I didn't flinch, I didn't run and I didn't feel fear. I derailed that big steam engine. What's the big deal about this other train I'm looking at right now?"

Robbie Bourbon Said:You don't confuse me. No ma'am. I've got you pegged.

"Lol. No you haven't, if you had me pegged you would have used a dragon metaphor instead of a train. Dragons are cooler than trains. Also dude, don't call me ma'am please, makes me feel old. Now you say you too have 'powers' but what are they exactly? Because from what I've seen so far, you have a mind for business, you're a good talker and you're a very talented individual in the ring. All talents, but not powers. Sorry. Maybe you haven't shown your true potential yet, I don't know. But what exactly are you waiting for Mr. Soda? ... Soda? ... Robbie Soda. Grr. ROBBIE SODA! What the heck, why can't I say Soda? Grr, never mind. I apologize Robbie. Where was I?"

"Oh right. What are you waiting for? I'm sorry for bringing this up but my interest is peaked, why couldn't you save your friends with your powers? Surely if you possessed abilities such as mine you could have done something. Game Boy brought down one of the biggest threats Narfinex has seen with his power, which is now my power. Heh. But yeah, I was just wondering about that."

Robbie Bourbon Said:You don't scare me, not at all. I mean, yeah, I've called you a monster in the past, but that's really from one monster to another.

"Don't call yourself that man, you're not a monster. You're human. I'm a character in some video game. When it comes down to it, we're more or less the same, not monsters, just people who make mistakes. I'm not an angel, I'm not a hero. I just try my best. I want to help. I NEED to help. It's my destiny. . . What happens if I fail? Robbie I've been wondering myself ever since I got these powers. But I won't fail, I will not allow myself to fail. I trust in my abilities and my friends do too, and I will stop any evil from entering your world. I will stop any evil from corrupting my world. As for any monsters finding the link from my world to yours, it's unlikely, but it can happen. Not gonna lie to you buddy. But nothing is going to get past me, I promise."

"The whole reason why I have this Intercontinental Title you want is to stop evil. In case you didn't know, I'm going to find Nirva's Sword. It will most likely be on a pressure plate, my hope is the title will be the same weight as the sword so I can swap the two and not set off every single trap in the dungeon. Which means the title may be left in Death Mountain for the reminder of time. Sorry."

Robbie Bourbon Said:No, not like Pixels. That's fiction, this is real.

Game Girl gives a look at you! The audience! For some reason.

Robbie Bourbon Said:They jump in sacks, play with a parachute and a giant ball

"A parachute? On a children's playground? Whaaaaaaaat?"

"But Robbie I understand what you're trying to say about how my world can cause HUGE problems for your world and the children that inhabit it. But, your world kinda sucks too. Pestilence, famine, disease, war, drugs, people who kill for no reason, illegal firearms being sold to children, pedophilia. I'm worried about what can come into my world too. You're worried about a giant monster destroying a city, you have armies for that. Advanced weaponry. Nuclear bombs. We have people in armor, swords and shields and some magic, we can manage I'm fairly sure you'll be fine. We don't have ebola here, I'm grateful for that and saddened it exists in your world. I am just as worried about something like that entering my world as you are of a monster entering yours. Only problem is, we will have no idea how to deal with a deadly disease. No magic for it, and anyone lucky enough to have extra lives would just keep getting it over and over again. I would rather deal with a monster, Robbie."

Robbie Bourbon Said:Only thing is, as sweet as being a champion might sound to me, it's real value and worth belongs to the people. Good people. Hard working people. Weary people. People tired of fear, of hatred, of pointless distractions, of movie stars getting into trouble. People who have to encounter assholes, and shitheads, and...

I don't know that she'd understand what those last two things are.

"No, I understood them. They're bad words, I can use them too kinda but they get censored. So, you're not doing this for yourself, instead you're doing this for the world? This reminds me of something else someone said. I can't remember who exactly, but more or less what he said was I deserve a win more because I'm a human being. Again Mr. Soda... Sorry... Again Robbie, this belt could save my world. Just because I'm 16 bit or whatever, I still have a life, I still have people I care about. I want to help them, this title can help everyone I know and the world I love."

Aggro slows his pace as Game Girl looks up at the trees and what she can see of the sky. It's much, much darker than it was before ans GG can barely see the path in front of her. She mumbles to herself.


"I'm sorry Robbie but I need to set up camp. We'll talk again soon, I know you want to beat me up and steal my belt. But to be honest, I don't think you can and because of that you're not a threat. You want to play the hero while parading as the villain and it makes everything you say meaningless. So why should I bother even listening to you? Instead of saying what you think people want to hear, what you think will threaten me and break my will. Just say what you mean and make me believe you're worthy enough to take this title from me. Goodnight, and good luck.