Frodo, Swagmire, and Crack walk into the gym where Cain is training. They see as Cain is curling a 100 pound dumbell in each hand. Frodo is mildly impressed, Swaggy is eyeballing the honey in the corner. Crack limps over to Cain, who has not noticed the Hobbit and company yet. He taps the beast on the shoulder. The Beast looks up and meets Crack's gaze, while still curling.

"What the fuck do you want?"

"Frodo is here. He wants to speak to you."

Cain looks up and eyeballs the short man. Frodo saunters over and whips his dick out. Cain looks unimpressed at the Hobbit's hobbit.

"Do you know what this is?"

"Something I'm going to remove?"

"My dick, which Ethan Bird can suck.

Cain raised his eyebrow.

"Excuse me?

"Ethan Bird is a massive fucking pussy. He's a fucking limp dick pussy wallow, and he's afraid of me. If I were in this match instead of you he'd be shitting into his KFC bucket, and then eating it because it's the only meal he's having for a week. Maddy asked us for someone to step up and fight Bird. I step up and ask Madison for a specific match, one you're intimate with. The Fags of Death match. He's afraid of it. He's afraid of me. The man claims to be a god, and he claims to claims to believe in his superiority. Yet, when beckoned with a match that doesn't include a rookie, he runs.

When he was called out by Eli, a man vastly superior to him, he ran. Giving a childish answer about how Eli needs to prove himself. He claims to have done research on me, and then call me a homophobe. Seriously, this dude is a huge fucking joke of a pussy. And he's so low even fucking Ghost Tank is making fun of him. Dude, do you know how low you are when you can't even come back to Ghost Tank properly? When dude has a one up on you? Yeah, well, Bird knows."

"Did you just come here to trash Ethan?"

Frodo shrugs.

"I was bored."

"At least put your penis away."

Frodo puts his penis away.

"So, listen, Ethan Bird got lucky in that match before. But you, Cain, you can win this and end the fat 's arrogance. Show him what happens when you push a beast too far. And do you want me to tell you why, Cain? Because you're not a coward. You don't turn down matches. You are a stone cold mother fucker, who likes to fight. You don't back down from shit. You took on multiple Universal Champions, and did it with a fucking smile. You've been in a match where you could be raped for hours on end, and you fucking took those dicks.

You didn't hide behind the excuse of 'I don't want to be a gimmick' as you run your cocksucker with the false messiah complex we've all seen before. You've not been busted as a liar multiple times. You're not a massive hermaphrodite. He is. He's a coward who ran away from a match type because he didn't get his way. He cried and huffed and puffed like a little girl. He's the biggest little girl I've ever seen, but he is one. But you know what Cain?"

"What?"

"I knew Ethany Bird wouldn't take the match. I knew she'd turn it down and run away. I persisted to prove a point. And the point was made. The world saw the truth. Ethan Bird is not some massive beast to be feared. He's just a sniveling cunt who likes to play pretend. He wants us to feat him because he's sad that his daddy didn't love him. He's not some God. He's a coward hiding from me. I am the Alpha in this situation. Here the facts are. I am the mother fucking King Pin of Ethan's life. Because I'm the one who showed the world that the monster is afraid of his shadow. He wasn't afraid of the Gimmick. He's afraid of the truth. That he's not good enough. Despite his claims of being god, and being on another level, he's been proven to be so much less. All while he claims he doesn't brag. While bragging. Poor him. He's been bested by me before the match even started. Anyway, I gotta go. Got my kids in the car."

Frodo whistles, and Crack, and Swaggy follow him out of the gym.

Cain sat there in front of the rolling camera for a moment looking at the door as the three left. He looked at the door, then the camera. Then back at the door. Then, he began to applaud, slowly at first. The applause became full on clapping. We heard a voice from behind the camera.

Senor Cain, we are steel feelming.

Cain looked at the Hispanic man behind the camera oddly.

Who in the blue fuck are you?

I am Eduardo, senor. Junior cameraman for the XWF. Eet's first Mexican born cameraman, ease.

Yeah yeah, orale homes. Look Konnan. I'll do the talking, you just shut the fuck up and film.

The point was made clear enough. Of course, the censors weren't very happy, but neither was Cain. Here he was, working out, when the King of the Dwarves came and whipped his dick out. Through his annoyance though, there was a mutual respect for Frodo. He looks into the camera, eyes catching the glint of the overhead lights and flashing.

Despite his brashness, Frodo is right Ethan. Right about me especially, seeing as how I have NEVER backed down from a single fucking challenge. Whether it was Morbid Angel, Sebastian Duke, Eli James, hell, Frodo himself I never showed any fear. Simple fact is, fear is nothing more than a word for me. A concept. The concept of fear for me is that look my victims get in their eyes upon gazing upon me in the dark. You won't be any difference. After all, I've yet to even hear you speak. Just like last time when you ran your mouth only AFTER you saw it wasn't just Cain you were facing.

Cain leans forward on the bench and whispers.

See, deep down Ethan, I know you're afraid. You were afraid before Madfare and you're afraid now. Because despite your victory last Wednesday, you KNOW that had I wanted to I could have ended your career. I chose not to, not for your own good but for mine. Ya see, Ethan, you are the type of person I would enjoy stalking through the streets at night. You are a person, make no mistake about that. You can be killed. The only thing sparing your mortal life are the rules, mortal.

But you see, I don't have to kill you for you to know what an eternity of hell is like. Hell isn't just a place, it's a state of being. I could break both of your legs and put you out for a year. I could puncture your lungs by breaking those brittle human ribs, or...I could just end your "rise to the top" by snapping that pencil neck of yours.

Don't get it twisted, Ethan. I am a murderer but I don't have to kill you. I can CRIPPLE your ass, and after you STOLE my contendership at Madfare, it would appear that is my only recourse. Don't go whining either, because at the end of the day you've only yourself to blame. And yes, the fires of Hell will still get their required sacrifice. Because every second, Ethan, you will beg almighty Lucifer to take your soul in exchange for an end to the pain I inflict on you.

You.

Will.

Beg.

Every word from the mouth of Cain dripped with venom, and sounded of conviction. He meant everything he'd said and as the camera slowly zoomed in, we heard a song begin to play as a new scene faded in over Cain's smiling face.

About Three Hours

Click click click click.

The sound of her heels resonating as she walked through the cement hallways, the camera focused on her voluptuous ass. The light skinned Princess walking through a set of double doors is absolutely gorgeous, her ruby red lips full and thick and her raven black hair up in a bun. As she walks into office, the doors shut behind her.

She hears a low growl on either side of her, and the camera focuses on two larger than normal pittbulls, poised and ready to tear the girl apart. However, she shows no fear as one snuffs the air and both sit. Well, pending a command from the man behind the large black marble desk.

Sit.

She lowers her head and moves behind the desk. Cain turns to face her, talons steepled before his chest, perpetual sinister grin on his face.

Master, I spoke with the committee today.

He arches a fine black brow.

And?

Well, from what I understand, the prerequisites are as follows.

She clears her throat, staring at the boss man sitting in the large leather chair before her. He's always been quite intimidating to the young, nubile Vyrna Simmons. Not only because he's this seven foot white guy with mountains of muscles but moreso because she knows his capabilities. She explains to the best of her knowledge.

According to the rules, one must be twenty five years of age, be a legal resident of the United States for at the very least seven years, and a resident of the state they are running for. Sounds easy enough, but sir you don't live in a "state".


Cain has a plan. Cain ALWAYS has a plan. He nods and leans forward, looking at her questioningly.

Now Vyrna, have you forgotten everything I taught you? Way back when?

She looks down at the red carpeted floor, nodding. She's been "his" for a very long time. Nowadays, you'd think she was a mere secretary or assistant but back then, she was his top assassin. Or moreso, she was a spy for the King of Murderers. She could MAKE him a citizen. Vyrna was a genius and he knew it. One of the reasons he chose her.

Yessir. Do you have a state of preference?

I hadn't thought of that. Probably somewhere that's nice. Somewhere that is hot as hell in the Summertime. Somewhere that ...well, somewhere nice. Where prostitution and gambling are legal.

Honestly, Cain doesn't know about two states, the only two states in America where those things ARE legal. He looks at Vyrna, who taps her chin.

Any suggestions?

Well, there's always Rhode Is-

Nah. Fuck Rhode Island. That's a gay state.

Well, what about Nevada? That's always a fun place. You can be billed from The Garden or Eden now residing in Las Vegas, Nevada? Eh?

Cain thought about that for a moment before grinning evilly and saying three simple words.

Feed me more.

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