No, no fuckin' video this time. Just words. Straight up, or else Gilmour will somehow find a new way to fuck things up even harder than he did before. Which I'm not necessarily opposed to but I'm also fuckin' lazy and figure ranting into my trusty old tape recorder would be much easier. Which it will be. Though this thing doesn't capture my glorious facial expressions to Gilmourisms, because it is a tape recorder and it only records sound. I need to explain this because I'm facing Gilmour and he probably thinks a cassette tape is food or something. Shit man, he probably thinks everything is food, hence his fuckin' medical condition. Shit, obesity is still considered a disease, right? Well, obesity combined with severe crippling autism definitely is so I think he can legally apply for disability. You'd like that wouldn't you, Pete? Get paid for doing absolutely nothing worthwhile whatsoever, oh who the fuck am I kidding he's doing that right now and he gets some kind of acclaim for doing it too. Like one of those artsy fuckin' film directors who films some dumb shit that doesn't make any actual sense, hoping that someone will catch some obscure bit of unintentional symbolism and somehow call it a masterpiece.
That's Gilmour's whole career. He's just tossing shit at a wall and hoping something sticks before too long or else he'll be a fuckin' forty something year old man still unable to capture the respect of anyone with a functioning brain. Meanwhile you got people like me, Luca Arzegotti, the greatest thing to ever happen to the XWF and by extension professional wrestling as a whole, lappin' up the respect of motherfuckers, in my early twenties. Just admit it Gilly, you wish you could fuckin' be me. If only for a day just so you can know what actual skill is. How to actually win a match on your own merits and not just piggy back off of the talents of people around you. Shit man, for someone so adamant about how my whole career was handed to me on a silver platter, you sure do take the easy way out of a lot of shit.
Like your biggest boast, you won the tag titles by yourself! That'll show the big meanies who say you need to be carried, right?! No, because you didn't beat a team for them, shithead. It wasn't some handicap match you won; it was a singles match. The tag titles on the line in a one on one contest, against Randy Cross, someone so fuckin' irrelevant that I'm sure you forgot he was even your opponent. Your biggest boast, your ace in the hole, ain't shit. So hey, go on and win the tag titles with partners, get a second trios title handed to you by Vinnie Lane (who's still a bitch ass bitch, by the by) then immediately lose them in your first fuckin' defense. Win the X-Treme title by some fluke and then lose it to Mister Radio. MISTER RADIO! Does anyone aside from me even remember that fucknugget? Or how about you lose it again to Steve Davids when you had two fuckin' teammates! Like, seriously. The guy lost his title WITH backup. Three on one and he still couldn't seal the fuckin' deal.
When I said win something on your own merits Pete, I meant it. Win something on your own merits, then prove it wasn't a fluke. Don't win the tag titles because Dim or Poppa Feder or whoever the fuck is carrying all ten thousand pounds of your quivering vagina to a win. Do it your own fuckin' self. But you won't. Because again, Gilly don't change. He can't change. It's impossible. He's stagnant. He'll never improve, he'll never get any worse, he'll just remain. Being a fuckin' scrub until the end of time.
But hey, since I'm talkin' a bunch and I didn't even address his new words I guess I gotta rectify that real quick. This fuckin' braindead cunt's off talking to children and shit like he ain't gonna call himself a demon twelve hundred fuckin' times. Newsflash, fuckface, demon's don't do charity! Didn't think I had to tell what demons do and don't do considering you're the one parading around like whatever the fuck combination of Christianity and Satanism you're claiming to be down with accepts demon-angels from the planet of the fuckin' or whatever it is you're supposed to be. But hey, it's Gilly. He doesn't know things. Like in order to be jealous of someone, that someone's gotta have something to be jealous of. He ain't good looking, he's a fat ugly bastard. His wife looks like a dude, if she ain't actually a dude. He's a perpetual loser who no one takes seriously. He has no idea what he is or what he wants to be or what he's trying to be. Shit, my life's less of a mess than his and I literally just died a little bit ago! The fuck is this?
Hell, he even acknowledges this like some other kinda mind reader! Shit, I musta left the optic/neural camera on again. Oh well. Don't need to waste time explaining it then. That's good.
And then he calls me a and says I need to do my research like he ain't the dude who just one promo ago dropped the wrong fuckin' year about his whole feud with me and the Black Circle! Dude can't even get his own history right so of course he thinks I'm coming incorrect. I couldn't even be this stupid if I fuckin' tried and sometimes I do. I seriously do try to be as dumb as GIlmour to see how the other half lives and I can't even sink down to that level. He's reached an unattainable level of stupidity. It's a pinnacle to the entire dipshit community. He honestly deserves an award for that. There we go! Something Gilly can win on his own merits: BIGGEST DIPSHIT TWENTY-FIFTEEN. Hell he could get a lifetime achievement award in the field of dipshittery. Fuck me, this is actually painful. I'm cringing so hard at this bullshit, that I am literally in pain. He's so dumb he's hurting me. Fuck, now he'll know my weakness and he'll exploit it in the-- oh who am I kidding he's gonna forget everything I said in like five seconds because he's on that goldfish memory shit.
But like, before I get into what he said about my main nigga Faust, I gotta point out some bullshit he said that was extra dumb.
Ahem, and I quote: He can say that he can't die but it's all a lie because we all know that I cannot die.
Motherfucker are you for real?
Not even getting into how there can apparently be only one person in the world who cannot die ever, he cannot die? This idiot gets killed more than Kenny! Everyone's killed this fool what the fuck is he on about he cannot die? Seriously, he's been sayin' that shit forever but goddamn it's fuckin' dumb. The only reason that fat fuck is still alive is because we just all keep reviving his dumb ass so we can fuck with him some more. Fuckin' with Gilmour's an XWF past time! It's tradition! It's how we see what newbies are made of! But the motherfucker ain't no immortal. I know he ain't gonna listen to that because he's stupid, but come the fuck on.
Back to Faust. This fuckin' idiot's on some bullshit like Faust is some guardian angel who's gonna help me win or some shit. No dude he's fucked off back to whatever plane of existence he came from with his stupid, confusing ass name but he did give me my life. For better or worse. And I plan on getting completely fucked up because of that. But let's get back to you. You'd think a demon/malevolent spirit/whatever the fuck that dude is would make a wager with a motherfucker over a wrestling match? Dude, the gods have other concerns but since you think that my life is on the line fight as hard as you fuckin' can.
Hell, I want you to beat me Gilly.
If only so I can then point and laugh at everyone I've beaten and tell them you did what they couldn't. Watch that fuckin' salt intensify and shit, it would be great.
But we all know it ain't gonna happen.
We all know you're gonna get your fuckin' ass kicked again just like the big fuckin' loser you are. Then complain that I cheated you out of the match or something despite there being no rules and your little boast of it being your domain.
or whatever it is you're supposed to be. But hey, it's Gilly. He doesn't know things. Like in order to be jealous of someone, that someone's gotta have something to be jealous of. He ain't good looking, he's a fat ugly bastard. His wife looks like a dude, if she ain't actually a dude. He's a perpetual loser who no one takes seriously. He has no idea what he is or what he wants to be or what he's trying to be. Shit, my life's less of a mess than his and I literally just died a little bit ago! The fuck is this?![[Image: giphy.gif]](https://media.giphy.com/media/9rAMt7eTzYnxS/giphy.gif)
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