Scully’s Home- Back Garden
Miami, Florida
Midday

Here we are in Scully's back garden. The sun is shining, the weather is sweet. In the middle of the freshly, mowed lawn, is a line of eight wooden chairs. On the first chair is a stuffed rabbit, the same one Scully beat up a few weeks ago. The second chair is owned by a cuddly Sponge Bob Square Pants. More soft toys fill the other six. Olaf is on the third, Spiderman on the fourth. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; Raphael, Donatello, Michaelangelo and Leonardo, chill on the other four seats.

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The 'Funeral March' is played via Scully's laptop, he appears at the back door. The XWF'S resident is wearing a black suit, white shirt, black tie and black shoes. He looks smart. He makes his way down the path with his head looking to the ground and both hands grasped together in front of his genital area. Skull makes his way to the lawn and nods at his guests.. Well the soft toys. He stands in front of them and waits until the music fades out.

Skull looks around at the cuddly toys and takes a deep breath. He puts his hand into his trouser pocket and pulls out a notepad. He looks at it and by the expression on his face, he is obviously struggling to read it. Skull just throws the note pad behind him and clears his throat.

"We are gathered here today to pay respecta for an athlete who left the wood, too moon. He will go up in the history books as being the XWF undefeated nookie. This guy was never pinned and never tapped like a girl, in his XWF wrestling career. He was gorgeous? No, that's not it. I can't say it. He was a brave invidual, who never gave up. Well... He gave up on life.

On May the 5th episode of Macho Night Madness, he unfortunately lost his life. It was an accident when he was dropped on his head by another superstar. No names please.

Anyway, we say farewell to the guy who died doing what he obviously didn't love, considering he didn’t freaking do shot that week.... Sorry... Apologies there. I did invite his family to attend today but it turns out I got the wrong address. Simpleton me.

I don't know much else about him, I don't even know what he looked like. He was covered in a lot of blood to be fair to Flair. So we say goodnight, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite to the deadman, the Griff, the bellend.... Sniff-A-Griff...... May he Rest In Pea's!"

A tear runs down Scully's cheek. He walks towards the fence, where a small hole has been dug. He stands over the hole, goes in his trouser pocket and pulls out a tissue. He blows his nose on it, making sure he gets some snot on it. He then drops it in the hole. Skull then looks at the gravestone. If you can call it that, it's more like a slab in the ground with just one flower, a daisy.


Skull shrugs and walks away from the burial place of one, Griff. He undoes his tie and takes his jacket off, throwing it on top of Spiderman. Skull walks up to the laptop and logs on to the XWF website. He signs in as usual and sets up the webcam.

"Welcome ya'll to Scully Cam. No one cares about the Shit-A- Brick Squad, it's all about Mulder and me, it's me.. That Scully.
Give me an S.. Give me a C... Give me a U... Give me a.. L... Give me a... Erm...? Damn... Can't even spell my own name. Scully anyway. The XWF'S Resident is here to entertain ya'll.

Yo.. Yo.. Yo.. Let's get this shot ready as we face two chavy, collage students. At Bad Medicine... Why is called Bad Medicine? I thought medicine was good for you. Helped you when you were poorly? A bit of calpol always did the job and it tastes yummy, yummy, yummy, in my tummy. So why is that medicine bad? Hmmmm...

Scully begins singing to the tune of Michael Jackson, Bad.

"I'm bad, I'm bad, I'm allergic to my dad.
My mum, my mum, my mum dot com.
Owww..... Shamoan motherfacker.... Hehe."

Skull continues to hum the tune. He grabs his crotch and thrusts, kicks his right leg and spins around in normal MJ fashion. Skull then changes the tune to Jacko's, Smooth Criminal.

"Muddy, are you OK?
So, Muddy, are you OK?
Are you OK, Muddy?
Muddy, are you OK?
So, Muddy, are you OK?
Are you OK, Muddy?
Muddy, are you OK?
So, Muddy, are you OK?
Are you OK, Muddy?
Muddy, are you OK?
So, Muddy, are you OK,?
Are you OK, Muddy?
You've been hit by
You've been hit by
A smooth simpleton
Hehe.. Owwwww....."

Scully then attempts to do The forward-leaning maneuver. It doesn't quite happen for Skull though. He falls and face plants the floor. Hahaha. Poor guy. Skull lies on the floor for a few seconds, holding his face. He gets up, to reveal a scratch on the bridge of his nose and a little egg on his forehead. He put his head in his hands as it obviously hurt. Skull looks in to the webcam.

"Damn... Man, that hurt. I don't get it, I can normally pull that man hoover off, when I'm wearing my special shoes. Hmmmmm....

Skull suddenly disappears from view and returns, with his shirt hanging out, a fake G-unit Medallion and a green baseball cap on to the side.

"Yo fool, wat up? Skulldawg in da house. Well, in da garden. Wassuupp wiggers? Brah... Brah... Gonna smoke some putang wid da XWF Tag-Team Champions, da Backstreet Boyz. We gonna Holla at ya'll girl and give er a good grillin. Ya get me blud? Brah.. Brah.. Damn... Dis weed is smokin' bruv! Da Backstreet Boyz are da man's around ere, G. Dey went thru May undafeated, yo! Did dey even av a match? Oh wait, no one offered dem out, rite? So dey fought dey wood jus sit back n' do Jack n' da beanstalk, yo! Brah... Brah..

Dey were da stars of da month, yo, four sure. Da Shit-A-Brick Squad bigged dem selves up to get dat award. All ya'll peeps kno, dat da Skulldawg deserved dat award. Da Skull Meister will just be da star four da month May. Ya hear me? Brah... Brah... Da Skulldawg n Muddog are goin ta' take da tag straps from da Backstreet Boyz n' we're goin go mental in dis place. Let's hit ya wid a rap, blud! Dis is called da Brick Squad are gay. Song n' lyrics written by Skulldawg...

Yo Yo Yo da Brick Squad are gay,
Dey take it up da batty every day,
Bow wow wow, yippee yo, yippee yay.

My daddy called Pest, he is da best,
Bruce Blingsteen ain't goin ta be a test.
When da pay-per-view is over, he gonna cry,
Gonna lose da Xtreme Championship, say goodbye.

Yo Yo Yo da Brick Squad are gay,
Dey take it up da batty every day,
Bow wow wow, yippee yo, yippee yay.

Two of da members are da tag-team chumps,
After Medicine, they'll be down in da dumps.

We got da boy name Flynn,
Who's dick is really thin,
He gave da other members a blowey,
N' da cum dribbled down his chin.

Yo Yo Yo da Brick Squad are gay,
Dey take it up da batty every day,
Bow wow wow, yippee yo, yippee yay.

Den we got Carson who wanted da dick in his arse,
Everyone knows da Brick Squad are a farce.
Carson.. Carson.. Lucky Number Seven,
Got cream pied by Dick Powers n thought he was in heaven.

Yo Yo Yo da Brick Squad are gay,
Dey take it up da batty every day,
Bow wow wow, yippee yo, yippee yay.

Little, maggot Dick, Power Puff Girl,
Wid dat fat sausage - shaped curl.
Henry who? Who cares about him?!
People be carin' more about Dim.

The Black Hand are gonna be wearing da gold,
Scully and Muddy jus bein elegant and cold?
Mr. Pest, da new king of Xtreme,
Provin dat we're da best facking team...

Yo Yo Yo da Brick Squad are gay,
Dey take it up da batty every day,
Bow wow wow, yippee yo, yippee yay.

Pea's!"

Scully begins pounding his chest and grabbing on his fake madallion.

"Word... Word ta ya' brother's, da Backstreet Boyz are all cock lovers!"

Scully takes the cap off and throws it back. He takes a deep breath.

"It seems it's Carlton who likes to do all the talking for the tag chumps. All I hear him spraying, Is a whole load of shite. Flynneroo thinks it in his little carrot brain and Carlton says it. Flynn has balls the size of malteasers, and too much of a hen too say it. He gotta be nice, right? We all know Flynneroo is fake!

I mean just have some front bone and tell us what you really think, don't be a huge vagina! How we suppose to have any respecta for you when you can't say how you feel, huh? You wanna call me a ? Go on.. Call me one, cock breath. I'm the facking king of !

Flynneroo, why you being a cat? Meow... You're too. I never shot on titles, that was Mav who didn't know where the bog was. It was Mav who shot on that same title your bum chum, Bruce walks around with. Nothing to do with me, so get ya story bent, boy!

All Carlton can spew is Skull is a , ain't it? Scully's a ? Damn right I am ya little turnip. I never denied the fiction that I am indeed a . Hell yeah! Look at you two, man... Thinking your all great cuz you voted for yourselves to be the stars of the month? Way to go, but it's nothing to be proud of when everyone else, wanted the XWF'S Resident to have that honour!

Carson, blaming the management because ya'll too lazy to have any matches? Excuses woman. If you want a match, you pull ya finger out and you ask for one. It ain't hard like ya dick when it's in Flynneroo's bum hole. Two weeks after me and that useless idiot, Mav the Scav won the tag titles, we defended them against you two crevices. We failed, well Mav did and you gals won the titles. Since then, you two have just been sat at home, doing gay shot!

Ya both claiming to be undefeated in May? Well, of course you are when you ain't even had a match. Of course ya whole team is going to be undefeated, when the most of you, haven't even had a match.. Dumb diddly dumbs dumbs!

Did Skull just sit back and wait until this rematch? Na... I put on a show, willy clowns. I accid... Erm... Killed Sniff-A-Griff. Grime Time Player pissed himself and ran away. Whilst Gay-Tings humped Stephanie. I was the winner and I am going to win again... At Bad Medicine.

Skull will be teaming with a decent partner this time, Muddy. Muddy, who made Karl naughts and Crosses run away with his bf, Grime. Muddy, who nearly beat the XWF Brain Champion, Loverboy Vinnie Lane. Muddy, who then beat Loverboy for the Federweight title. Oh, so I am not the only Black Hand memeber to hold a title this year, Carson.

Muddy, who will actually do something. He already has. We are going to kick ya'll penises all over... Where are we going to be? Wherever that will be! The Skullster and the Mudster are walking out with the tag-team championships. Scully is going to be a five time, five time... XWF tag-team champion of the wood! Five time? Is that right? I can't count. Da end, Scully has spoken! 4 life!"