(The scene opens inside of the arena in Toronto where 125 thousand fans are cheering their butts off as they anticipate the arrival of Ray Tings. While they wait they are being provided with a free dark match that pits Damien Sandow versus Kid Kash. The fans are getting restless with having to watch these two perform and begin to chant WE WANT RAY TINGS!

~RAY TINGS~ Ask and you shall receive!

(Cult of Personality plays over the loud speaker and the turnbuckles explode with fireworks that touch the ceiling. Ray Tings is lowered from the rafters. He's wearing a light up trench coat with wrestling gear underneath. He lands in the middle of the ring and yells IIIITS RAY TINGS TIIIIME! Jumps up and does the splits while kicking Sandow and Kash in their faces! He does two Ratings Destroyers (Canadian Destroyer) and a Ray-Terminator (van terminator.) )

~RAY TINGS~ FINALLY... I ... AM... HERE! And I am here to talk about a subject that unless it comes from my lips it is the most boring topic of all time. Yes I'm talking about the bore-tist known as GRIME! Eww don't you hate that name? He probably got it because that's how people describe him when he asks them what his promos are like. It's unwanted filth that needs to be wiped clean in order for whatever it is touching to look appealing! I've said it before and I'll say it again Grime is the biggest ass clown that I've ever met... EVER! He thinks that you fans are all imaginary like I can somehow conjure up an arena full of living, breathing dedicated fans! Well Grimey I know that I might come off to you as a man with God like abilities but I am not this wizard that you are making me out to be in your promos. What you see before you is the result of many years of hard, honest work. You don't get to where I'm at by dreaming or creating an imaginary universe. I know this concept is lost in you Grime. It must rattle your brain to its very core that Ray Tings is able to waltz in and sell out an arena multiple days in a row. What it all comes down to is that I make these arenas my bitch and on Monday night I'm going to make YOU my bitch in front of all my viewers!

I told you all once before that I am the biggest signing that the eXtreme Wrestling Federation has ever made and now I have the footage to prove it. Vincent Kennedy McMahon and his bastard son in law came out here last week and wanted to steal me away from the eXtreme Wrestling Federation but I turned them down and told them to stick it up their asses! In doing that I have fired the first shot in this war between WWE and XWF. This company was not even on Vince's radar until he tuned in along with millions and millions of fans around the world. And now that I've made some waves in these calm waters this entire federation is going to benefit from having RAY TINGS grace their roster! Vince McMahon and his board of directors are back at their offices right now trying to figure out how to get Ray Tings to sign a multi million dollar contract. If you're lucky some of my drawing power will rub off on you talentless hacks! Vince will see that you are in the same ring as me and think that if you're having a match with Ray Tings then you must be worth putting on his roster. You're welcome federation! I just made all of you millionaires!

Grime listen to all of these fans. I know it seems too good to be true but the reality is RAY TINGS = RATINGS and Grime = grime. And you know what else.

((Stephanie McMahon's theme song plays and she walks to the ring with her tits pushed out and a bitchy look on her face. )

Stephanie Wow I had to see this with my own eyes in order to believe it! An arena sold out all because of one superstar?

(Ray pumps his fists and shakes the ropes to get the crowd roaring.)

~RAY TINGS~ That's right babay! WOOO YEAH!!! MAKE SOME NOISE TORONTOOO!

Stephanie Well Ray I was very upset when I had to watch my husband and my father walk back into the office in Stamford with their heads hanging down and multiple lacerations and bruises on their faces. The truth is that no one ever treated my boys like that before. I have to commend you on that.

~RAY TINGS~ Why are you here Steph? You cannot afford me right now and my career is just getting started here in X... W.... F!

Stephanie No I'm not here to try to raid XWF and steal their top talent. Not yet anyway, haha! But I would like to offer you my hand in a business arrangement.

~RAY TINGS~ Stephanie you better move this along because you are dragging our numbers down faster than if I were to roll footage of Grime cutting that sleeping pill of a promo that he did!

Stephanie Fine i'll cut to the chase then. I'll be your manager Ray. You need someone in your corner with business sense who can have your back while you're out there entertaining the thousands of fans. With all of this exposure you're going to need someone who can manage your bookings and make deals with companies like Reebok and Mattel.

~RAY TINGS~ Well Stephanie I already have deals with Reebok, Mattel and even KMart babay, YEAAAH WOOOOO! But I've got another job for you honey. ROLL THE FOOTAGE MONKEYS!

Quote:Grime: I was lookin' out the window and what did I see? A little glass gnome jackin' off to me. I walk outside, and to my surprise. I cried, 'Oh my god I can't see anything, it was Mr. Ray Tings lookin' for his magic beans.

(The arena of fans begins to cringe in unison at the sight of Grime attempting to be entertaining. The cringing turns into yawning and then sleeping. Stephanie falls down on the mat and her eyes begin to close. )

Stephanie Pleeeease stop this Ray! I've had enough! I'm feeling sleeeeeeepy...

(Stephanie begins snoring in the middle of the ring! Ray snaps his fingers and the footage of Grime's promo thankfully stops playing. )

~RAY TINGS~ I could always use some eye candy in my corner though Stephanie! That's why I brought a pastor to officiate this impromptu ceremony!

(A pastor runs to the ring with a bible and begins the process of marrying Ray Tings and Stephanie McMahon!)

Pastor: Let's keep this short and sweet. Do you Ray take this woman to be your bride?

~RAY TINGS~ YEAAAH! WOOOOOO!

Pastor:Do you Stephanie take Ray Tings to be your husband?

(Ray turns his head to Stephanie and does her scratchy voice so that it sounds like she says YES!)

Pastor: Then I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride!

(Ray plants one on Mrs. McMahon and then tosses her aside like a sack of garbage that's filled with promos from Grime!)

~RAY TINGS~ I dedicate this marriage to everyone in this arena! And after I beat Grime in this very ring me and Stephanie will commemorate the moment with a live! sex! celebration!! Good day mates!