I told you.

I told all of you that I would keep the ball rolling after a spectacular March with an equally impressive and award-winning April.

Dudes, it’s pretty much all done except for the crying, man. Not only am I going to be the XWF’s first ever TWO time in a row star of the month, but after I take out the unbeatable Big Bad Wolf at Bad Medicine next month? You can chalk me up for the trifecta! March, April, May… just like August through February, dude, I’m the star of the show!

Heyman and and Madison think making me defend this title on a regular basis will slow me down? HELL no. You keep throwing me those fastballs right down the pike and I’ll keep swinging for the fences and knocking them out of the park, dude.

I said it to Cain. I said it to Mastermind. I said it to Muddy Waters. It’s not that they aren’t good, dude. It’s that I’m BETTER.

Now what does the top draw, the main event, the king of the cage and the MEGASTAR of the XWF get for his trouble and sacrifice? He gets TWO opponents thrown at him at the same time with only a week to recover from a no holds barred match on Monday. Good for you, XWF, you’ve really outdone yourself with your ability to try and tear down the guys that put you on the map.

Luckily for me though, one of those two guys is just a patsy. Just like Morbid said, JACK isn’t on my level. Hell, he’s not even on Morbid’s level, and that’s at least a step or two down from me. JACK got carried to a tag team championship by another dude who couldn’t beat me on his best day, and he barely had the straps for a week or two when he screwed it up and lost them to the Kings. Bravo, JACK, what a legacy you’ve made for yourself. Your championship will be revered the same way Maverick and Scully’s was. Just do me and Morbid a favor, dude… get your name tramp stamped on your shoulders as well as the small of your back, so me and him both remember what to call you when we’re spit roasting you in the middle of the ring.

It’s a metaphor, Morbid, relax. I told you, I don’t do the gay shit.

As for the REAL threat, Morbid Angel? Well, I think it’s pretty obvious that the old man’s mind is finally starting to go. The dude’s already warming up his fluffer muscles in his t-back in anticipation of me letting rip a monster bukkake all over him next week… so much for confidence, right?

Morbid… I’m cool with you for the most part, dude, but you keep saying shit that just isn’t true. Like about how I only beat Gilly and not you. Look at the footage, man.

Quote:While Shane is talking to Morbid, Vinnie has time to recover and he surprises Morbid with a Black Label Driver! OH MY GOD! AND NOW VINNIE DELIVERS THE SAME MOVE TO PETER, LANDING IT RIGHT ONTO MORBID'S HEAD!

Shane: Hahahaha! These three waggle baggas want to be YOUR trio champions, everybody!

Shane looks at the crowd and laughs.

Shane: Imagine what a circus act a Trio match would be with these three morons on the same team trying to retain championships! It's actually quite hilarious! Wait, what's this?

Shane sees Vinnie pinning Morbid Angel and Peter Gilmour at the same time! Pest is still down, but starting to move a little. Shane runs down to the ring and slides in! He pulls Pest up to his feet... GILMOUR CUTTER!

Shane: some shitty fed can suck my dick!

Shane looks like he wants to hit Vinnie in the face to break up the pin but he stops himself and thinks about it... and then he just drops down and makes the count instead!




1...






2...








3!!!

Quote:
Morbid staggers backward a bit and Gilmour grabs him, and sends him head first over the ropes. Morbid hangs on to the top and bottom rope. Morbids legs still remain inside the ring and Gilmour sends a kick through the ropes, right into Morbid's face. One big heave and Morbid Angel is out and on the floor!

ELIMINATED: Morbid Angel!