A camera turns on and Thunderbolt X can be seen in an unknown location.

Thunderbolt X- "Hello XWF universe, its your boy Thunderbolt X" "I'm here to give my thoughts about what Hero has said about me" "I have picked 9 statements that Hero made about me and I will retaliate to them" "I will start off with this one"

Thunderbolt X pulls out his phone and presses play.

(Hero: NOCMM: Oh, ThunderBolt X brought the shitty puns in this promo. I guess that's cute. So here's where we're are introduced to the fact that this Adriana Cass women has the delusion that she's a TV star I cut open and put my dick into. I assume we're meant to think that she never tweets about her husband for absolutely no reason at all. I follow this Kelli Burl-bitch on Twitter so I can DM her and ask if she wants me to put a hole in her leg and fuck it for a few hundred dollars and she has never once tweeted about this Jacob Cass or ThunderBolt X. It's not simply 'forgetting to change you're Twitter account' it's incredibly apparent that this Adriana Cass is not Kelli Berglund. She just paid a surgeon to make it look like he is her. If you're roleplaying as Kelli Berglund maybe you should try acting like her instead of a fourteen year-old's idea of a dream girl)

Thunderbolt X presses stop on his phone.

Thunderbolt X- "First thing I want to address in this statement is that apparently my wife doesnt mention me in her tweets" "That's where you are wrong Hero" "You see, you may have missed this tweet.



Thunderbolt X- "See Hero, you made a mistake, which makes my theory of you being a human, true" "You can finally stop announcing yourself as God" 

Thunderbolt X presses a button on his phone and a typed up version of Hero's shitty promo comes up.

Thunderbolt X- "Oh I see another fault in your promo, Mr Hero" "My wife didn't have plastic surgery unlike you and your boyfriend NOCCM" "You look nothing like the guy who died on a cross for us" "In fact you look like, act like and sound like a male stripper version of Miley Cyrus who hasn't hit puberty yet" "Lets see how many slip ups you made in the next statement"

Thunderbolt X presses the play button. 

(Hero: NOCMM: I didn't know she was a famous Disney channel star at the time, but if you look at her that's obviously the real Kelli Berglund and not the man ThunderBolt X gay married and adopted children with. If that was the real Kelli Berglund she would've slapped you in the face for that shit pun. She makes enough of those at work, Kelli told me so herself when she paid me to fuck her arm)

Thunderbolt X- "You still think that was my wife" "Fuck off" "The person you fucked wasn't Kelli Berglund, before she was married, or Adriana Cass" "Just because my wife is hotter then anyone you have fucked in your entire life, doesnt give you the right to start false rumours"

Thunderbolt X pulls up a written version of the 2nd statement.

Thunderbolt X- "Oh and your right for once" "My wife, is a famous Disney actress that could slap anyone, really hard, across the face" "I'm surprised she hasn't hit you yet" "I'm well aware she plays Bree Davenport in Lab Rats and she played Mae Hartley in How To Build A Better Boy" "That statement was better then your first one Hero but we are just getting started" "Lets play the 3rd statement"

Thunderbolt X presses play on his phone.

(Hero: NOCMM: There's no mention of her playing the part of Adriana Cass, so she doesn't even consider your marriage a fake one. I bet she has no idea she's being impersonated and some XWF rookie is pretending to be married to her. If this is some elaborate hoax to get one of my fuck toys to notice you it's obviously not working. Try harder ThunderCunt)

Thunderbolt X presses the stop button.

Thunderbolt X- "Just take a look at the tweet from the 1st statement" "She clearly says the word HUSBAND" "So our marriage is real, you dumb fuck" "And like I said before, she keeps forgetting to change her twitter account name to Adriana Cass" "This one was full of mistakes and lies" "Lets get to the 4th statement before I find anymore"

Thunderbolt X presses play and takes a sip of water.

(Hero: NOCMM: Good luck making me suffer for telling the truth about your 1st mate, butt pirate. I'm invisible. Unless you're talking about my client which doesn't make any sense because he doesn't even know your wife is a man version of one of my living sex dolls, so he hasn't made any comments about her)

Thunderbolt X presses pause.

Thunderbolt X- "Oh so that's what you and your manager have been fucking in your other promos" "That totally makes sense now" "At first I thought you guys were actually fucking real women"

Thunderbolt X takes another sip of water.

Thunderbolt X- "Anyway another mistake you made was when you said good luck making me suffer for telling the truth" "First of all I don't need luck because I will make you suffer" "And you weren't telling the truth, you were telling the XWF universe and your Old School fans, absolute bullshit" "Well statement 4 was all a load of crap" "Lets see if statement 5 is the same"

Thunderbolt X presses the play button.

(Hero: NOCMM: Here's more proof that your wife isn't the real Kelli Berglund though. She would never go to your room and get a camera for you, because that's a man's job. Kelli Berglund is a woman so she can't play 'cameraman' with you. She doesn't have the parts, but who knows what your 'wife' has in-between her legs. She probably has the balls to ask you the tough questions. Pun intended) 

Thunderbolt X presses the pause button.

Thunderbolt X- "Ok lets get this straight Hero" "My soulmate is a FEMALE or WOMAN by the name of Adriana Cass, formerly known as Kelli Berglund" "Ok now that we have gotten out of the way, its time to point out Hero's mistakes and lies" "Ok so my wife grabs a camera and she instantly becomes a man?" "That makes no sense"

Thunderbolt X takes a sip of water

Thunderbolt X- "Technically that sexist" "Yourbasically saying women can't be camera operators" "You should be ashamed of yourself Hero for even thinking that" "I don't even want to continue with statement 5 so lets go to statement 6"

Thunderbolt X presses the play button on his phone. 

(Hero: He said Hero Xtreme 7.9 had no evidence of the fact that he's God when there is plenty of it out there. He proved that he can fly in a match against Mastermind and Cohen Horne, he proved that he can burn people's flesh with plants in the #1 contender's match at Lethal Lottery 3 and he used his voice to shoot fire and ice at Peter Gilmour on the latest edition of Warfare. There is all the evidence you need to prove Hero Xtreme 7.9 is God. He even had video footage of him smiting someone in 1515, way before video cameras were invented. Show that footage to any veteran historian and they will tell you it's legit)

Thunderbolt X presses the pause button and then laughs.

Thunderbolt X- "I still see no evidence that your client is god, Mr NOCCM" "All I see is a bunch of cool props and special effects" "The only piece of evidence I can't explain is the 1515 video" "Although if there were no cameras in 1515 then how can you prove your client time traveled?" "Oh and you can fly, can you?" "Guess what?" "So can I genius, all I have to do is climb up the turnbuckle and jump off" "To save your client anymore embarrassment I will move on to statement number 7"

Thunderbolt X plays the next statement.

(Hero: NOCMM: Here's a good one, ThunderBolt says that my client makes and then backs down from challenges that he makes to rookies. My client has never challenged a rookie, dumb fuck. Rookies aren't main eventers so he doesn't make challenges to them. The only people he challenged to matches were Sebastian Duke who ended up adding three others to the match and making it non-title, Justin Sane who ran away and made Mandii face my client instead then dropped the title on purpose so he'd never get embarressed by my client, and Dr. Louis D'Ville who I assume went to management and threatened to quit if he's booked against another main eventer, so now only rookies like TJ Wallace, Aerial Knight, Gator, and Mastermind are allowed to challenge for it)

Thunderbolt X stops the statement using the pause button.

Thunderbolt X- "Dude when a rookie or a newbie challenges you to a match, you get your manager to post a automated message asking the challenger to pay you Xbuxs just so then they can face you" "I admit you don't challenge rookies but the fact is, your afraid of them" "I better get on to statement 8 before you run away from our match"

Thunderbolt X blares statement number 8.

(Hero: NOCMM: However, if that's your mission then you will fail. God can't be hurt. He may act hurt on Wednesday, but that's just for fun. Those are just mind games. Only you will feel pain, ThunderBolt. Win or lose your objective is a suicide mission. All that will occur on Wednesday is God's will)

Thunderbolt X- "I actually agree with part of this statement" "I agree this is a potential suicide mission" "But if I'm going down, your coming with me"

Thunderbolt X takes a sip of water

Thunderbolt X- "Time will tell if I fail my mission" "Oh and stop bullshitting to people that you cannot be hurt" "I'll tell you what, I NEVER GIVE UP and I won't give up until I inflict pain on your client and even then I won't give up" "How about we wrap this up and get to the final statement?"

Thunderbolt X presses play on his phone.

(Hero: NOCMM: ThunderBolt X's promo was boring, bland, fake, gay, lacked the proper trigger warnings, and it was shitty. I predict the 'real promo' will not be an improvement)

Thunderbolt X stops the statement using the pause button.

Thunderbolt X- "Who the fuck do you think you are?" "Are you a fully payed promo critic employed by XWF?" "I didn't think so" "The only people that care about you Hero is your Old School fans and your blow up prostitutes" "My promo was boring and gay?" "You should look in the mirror you hypocritical bastard" "My promo may have been shitty but at least I don't lie in them" 

Thunderbolt X grabs his phone and holds up a picture.

Thunderbolt X- "I told my wife that I had some final words to share at a later date and the time is now to reveal them" "You see I tweeted my final words so you don't have to read the rest of this promo" "Here it is Hero"



Thunderbolt X- "There is no stopping me at Warfare, Hero" "So my advice to you?" "Beware Hero, because a Thunderstorm is coming and it is about to hit"

Thunderbolt X superkicks the camera and it turns off. 

I'm a lying asshole who says in public threads that he donated to the fed when he didn't

I'm a whiny bitch who sends shitty PMs to my opponent after he beats me fairly

I'm also pretty sure I might be , except I still don't know what means

Be my friend