Quote:Then after Duke has fails, he'll go around trying to tell all of us that Lin Kwann is a whore in order to ease his pain and suffering.
Another scream for mercy.
Quote:Then after Duke has fails
Confusion contorts her face.
Quote:It's much easier to hide the bitterness and hurt than to come out and admit that you have an issue to settle.
:Woman:
Oh god -- why! Why?!
Quote:You know me; I'm always down for a repeat of the same jokes
Another scream for mercy.
Quote:Hey Flo! War Games
A repeat: scream for mercy.
Quote:Hey Flo! Tell me how Sebastian Duke is -- It's all the exact same drivel that I heard six months ago -- and this time will be more enjoyable than the first. Ejaculate everywhere?
Confusion contorts her face.
Quote:Hey Flo! Oh no, John Madison lost another match
:Woman:
What? Who? Somebody help me!
Quote:Hey Flo! Promo tip: I'm not all that interested in viewing snippet after snippet of myself in your promos.
Uncontrollable crying.
Palms to the floor.
Hope diminishing.
Quote:Hey Flo! I haven't won anything important going into Gauntlet City
:Woman:
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!
Click.
An end to clips.
Door open.
Mister Mystery stand at doorway.
Woman scream.
Mister Mystery in.
Door close.
Woman scream.
:MM 17 31707 1: I'd highly suggest you shut the fuck up unless you want me to play those John Madison clips again.
:Woman:
I...I don't even know who that is. Why are you doing this to meeeee?
Mister Mystery step toward her.
She jump back.
He reach for her.
She no want touchy touchy time.
:Woman:
Stay away from me! Who are you?!?
:MM 17 31707 1: I am the answer to your prayers. It's just too bad for you that I'm not the answer you wanted.
Click. Television back to life.
Quote:Hey Flo!
Pretend
that
I'm
Mark
Flynn
Woman back against wall.
:Woman:
Who the fuck is Mark Flynn? Why do you keep playing clips of that sounding man at me?
Quote:You know me; I'm always down for a repeat of the same jokes
She screams.
Quote:You know me; I'm always down for a repeat of the same jokes
She screams.
Quote:You know me; I'm always down for a repeat of the same jokes
She screams.
Quote:You know me; I'm always down for a repeat of the same jokes
She screams.
Quote:You know me; I'm always down for a repeat of the same jokes
She screams.
Quote:You know me; I'm always down for a repeat of the same jokes
She screams.
Quote:You know me; I'm always down for a repeat of the same jokes
She screams.
Quote:You know me; I'm always down for a repeat of the same jokes
She screams.
Quote:You know me; I'm always down for a repeat of the same jokes
She screams.
:MM 17 31707 1: Having fun yet? This is the shit I've had to put up with all week long! Yet here you are, only having been stuck in this room for about 45 minutes, and you're ready to smash your own skull into that steel wall; aren't you?
Woman cry.
:MM 17 31707 1: Aren't you?!?!
:Woman:
Ahhh! Yes! Yeessss! Please, please stop. I'll do anything.
Quote:Hey Flo! Tell me how Sebastian Duke is -- It's all the exact same drivel that I heard six months ago -- and this time will be more enjoyable than the first. Ejaculate everywhere?
Mister Mystery laugh.
He allow Madison snippets to answer for him now.
He point to television so woman know to answer it.
:Woman:
What the? You want me to answer what that weird little man on the screen keeps saying?
Quote:Because that's what butt hurt little men do
:Woman:
What?
Mister Mystery turn up volume television.
Quote:Because that's what butt hurt little men do
:Woman:
What's that even mean? Butt hurt? Please; I don't understand -- I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Please just stop!
Myster up volume television.
Quote:Because that's what butt hurt little men do
He turn down volume television.
:MM 17 31707 1: You'd better start answering John Madison appropriately so he stops repeating himself. Come on, bitch! You heard him! Because that's what butt hurt little men do!
She cries and drops to her knees, bringing her hands up to her face and sobbing so uncontrollably that we have no choice but to finally break free from this Flynn-mock narration that John Madison wanted us to do again because he enjoys repeating the same joke again. The woman's tears run down her face as Mister Mystery steps closer to her and backs her further into the corner. Every inch of the room is made of steel as if this is some sort of bomb shelter, and every inch of this woman is made of the same fear that John Madison tries to cloak in his overdone "I'm a shithead; look at me be a dickwad" routine that everyone stopped believing right around the time of War Games, War Games, War Games.
Quote:Hey Flo! War Games
:MM 17 31707 1: Hey dirty bitch -- War Games.
Mister Mystery crouches down and leans right up into the woman's face, shouting through his mask with all his might.
:MM 17 31707 1: War Games!
The television continues playing all of John Madison's most memorable quotes from his promo this week. It's a good thing he supplied us with so many in his promo this week. His promo this week was fantastic.
Quote:You know me; I'm always down for a repeat of the same jokes
:MM 17 31707 1: I don't hear you answering this man, bitch. You better answer him.
The woman can barely construct words through her hysterical crying as tears wash the eyeliner from her eyes.
:Woman:
But he's not asking anything. He's just saying shit that makes no fucking sense to me!
Mister Mystery slams his open hand on the steel wall directly above the woman's head and she nearly jumps out of her skin.
:MM 17 31707 1: And you think it makes sense to me? What about what I've had to go through this week with this sack of shit?
She melts further down into the floor as to put some distance between her head and the spot Mystery slammed his hand against. She looks up at him in absolute horror, struggling to find the right words as fast as she can as his beady eyes almost glow from behind that emotionless hockey mask.
:Woman:
I don't even understand. What does this man have to do with me? I don't know what you've gone through with him. I think you have the wrong woman.
Quote:Hey Flo! Promo tip: I'm not all that interested in viewing snippet after snippet of myself in your promos.
:MM 17 31707 1: Is your name Flo?
The woman wipes some tears from under her eyes and looks up at him, quickly answering with a slight hint of hope in her voice that this might clear things up.
:Woman:
N...no. No! My name's not Flo! See? I told yo-
Quote:Hey Flo! War Games
Mister Mystery explodes with boisterous laughter as he tips his head back and his entire body rumbles. The woman has no idea how to take this as she looks up at him without a clue of what to say next.
Quote:Then after Duke has fails
Quote:Hey Flo! Oh no, John Madison lost another match
Quote:Hey Flo! I haven't won anything important going into Gauntlet City
Quote:Hey Flo! Promo tip: I'm not all that interested in viewing snippet after snippet of myself in your promos.
The woman throws her hands up over her ears, clutching them in a psychotic manner as she shrieks like a banshee; tears running down her face like dual faucets and saliva seeping from her mouth. She continues gripping the sides of her head and begins to press her hands into her cheeks almost as if trying to smash her own head into nothingness to avoid hearing another John Madi-
Quote:You know me; I'm always down for a repeat of the same jokes
Even through her screams and trying to rearrange her own face with her hands, she still hears that one!
:MM 17 31707 1: Hey Flo! Want to hear a Hey Flo! Want to hear a joke?
Kick.
Out.
Like a light.
She'll thank him later.
You have our word that you've heard the last John Madison "snippet" for this promo. We believe we've made his point for hi-
Quote:Hey Flo! War Games
Whoopsie! Alright, I'm being told that was definitely the last one.
No really.
It was.
Stop waiting as if you want that television to play another. It's not going to happen.
Still no Madison repeats here.
:MM 17 31707 1: It's time for me to have some real fun with this bitch before I put myself through the ultimate test.
Mister Mystery's comment has us wondering what he could mean and finally forgetting all about the same things we just heard John Madison say from his promo this week. Mister Mystery pulls a cell phone out of the pocket of his camouflage pants and begins to dial a number.
Who is he calling?
Nobody -- he was texting. He sends the following text out to two people-
"Get over here now. We have some important training to do before our match. If this doesn't bring us together as a team and put us on the same page, nothing will."
He then sends a followup text with directions to his location, which, we do not see because he doesn't want any of you showing up here.
Arrival # 1
Sid Feder has been refusing to play a role in what's actually going on in this confined room. He wants no part of torturing this woman or doing whatever else Mister Mystery has planned, but he doesn't mind letting Mister Mystery's guests into the warehouse and guiding them back to the room.
The first of the guests is sent into the room and the first thing they notice is the fact that there are a bunch of tubes on top of the table that the television is sitting on. These tubes are wrapped and tangled indiscriminately around what appears to be some kind of mechanical device. The television -- thank god -- is no longer playing snippets of John Madison's promo but the woman is still crying and begging for her life in the corner as Mister Mystery literally stands over her, staring down at her.
It's unclear how much time passed between Mystery sending those texts and his first guest arriving, but it would seem the entire time was spent just looming over the woman and staring coldly at her. No chit chat; no walking around; none of the usual, predictable bullshit that an abductor might do to the inductee they've brought into their own world.
:Gilmour:
Oh you've got to be kidding me. I'm out of here.
That's right -- Peter Gilmour has arrived! Mister Mystery immediately turns to him and sees Peter starting to exit the room already.
:MM 17 31707 1: Stop! I need your help, partner.
Peter freezes in his tracks and just shuts his eyes. You can sense the conflict in him as he tries to reason out this scenario in his mind.
He's not into abducting woman and raping them, but Mister Mystery is his partner.
He's not into torture and has no idea what trouble he already might be in just by being here, but Mister Mystery is the co-holder of the Tag Team Championships with him.
He's not prepared to possibly murder an innocent woman, chop her up, bag up the body parts, and dispose of them for Mister Mystery -- but Mister Mystery is likely to put a bullet through Peter's heart if he refuses to assist.
Decisions, decisions...
:MM 17 31707 1: I don't have all day, Peter. Turn your ass back around and come back in here. I need your fucking help with this shit.
Peter lets out one hell of a sigh and forces himself back around to face Mister Mystery. He walks toward him and can't help but look down at the helpless woman who is covered in sweat and tears.
:MM 17 31707 1: I'd like you to meet -- the appetizer. Say hello to her, Peter.
:Gilmour:
What? No. I'm not doing this. I'm not taking part in cannibalism.
He starts to try and turn around again but Mister Mystery grabs his arm tightly; the same arm that he almost shattered and flattened to a pancake during their first match as partners.
:MM 17 31707 1: Not that kind of appetizer. Don't leave me high and dry here. Without you, I can't make it to Gauntlet City. More importantly without me, you can't hope to win those Trio Championships at Gauntlet City. Now be a man and get your mind straight because I'm going to explain exactly what needs to be done here.
Arrival # 2
At that point the door to the room opens and Sid Feder ushers in Mister Mystery's second guest. The man comes in carrying a severed goat leg in one hand and a bottle that very much looks to be a pickle jar with one pickle floating in it.
My mistake -- that's definitely not a pickle floating in that jar. Too dark to be a pickle; that's for sure. I'm not even going to describe what I think that is.
:Unknown Soldier:
What do we have here?
Unknown Soldier takes a quick sip from the pickle jar before answering his own question.
:Dante Kyllen:
Well it looks like Mister Mystery and Peter Gilmour have started the fun without us.
He continues a brief conversation with himself as Peter Gilmour backs up a step and has no clue what to do. Gilmour glances over at the crying woman, then at Mister Mystery, and finally back to Soldier's pickle jar.
:Unknown Soldier:
Then we've got a lot of catching up to do. Let me finish this goat leg real quick so we can get right down to busi-
He interrupts himself-
:Dante Kyllen:
No! Be polite. Share with your friends. Let Peter eat the rest of that goat leg and give Mister Mystery the rest of our piss and shit in a jar.
:Unknown Soldier:
But, but...
:Dante: Kyllen:
And while they're enjoying themselves we get to feast on the woman in that corner!
:Unknown Soldier:
I didn't even see her over there. You're right -- I'll share.
Soldier walks up to Peter and hands the goat leg toward him but Peter is horrified. He can't even find the words right now. Mister Mystery has no problem reaching in and grabbing the pickle jar which he sniffs and begins to laugh about.
:MM 17 31707 1: Wow you weren't kidding. I've got a much better idea for this though.
Mister Mystery walks over to the woman and kneels down beside her.
:MM 17 31707 1: I'll give you a deal. If you consume the contents of this pickle jar, I'll let you walk out of here scott free.
The woman almost throws up just from getting a close up of that black rod of shit bobbing up and down inside the cloudy, yellow liquid.
:Woman:
You want me to eat shit?
:MM 17 31707 1: It's not shit -- it's a pickle; but to be more precise I want you to eat the pickle and drink the pickle juice. Consider this a test that will determine whether or not you deserve to live.
:Woman:
But that guy with the blood soaked clothes and the goat leg just called this his jar of piss and shit.
Mister Mystery jabs the woman right in her nose; not hard enough to knock her out but just enough to open up a steady stream of blood from her nostrils. Unknown Soldier sees this while still trying to hand Peter the goat leg and he drops the leg at Peter's feet. Peter looks down and is disgusted -- not at the goat leg.
:Gilmour:
Oh my god! How are your pants already down? You weren't even touching them.
He's right. Soldier was trying to grab Peter's hand and force him to accept the goat leg but as soon as Soldier laid his eyes on the trail of blood coming from that crying woman's face his pants somehow automatically relieved themselves of duty.
:Gilmour:
And why are you already hard? Oh fuck this; I'm out.
Peter tries to push his way past Soldier but Soldier keeps sliding in front of him. There's not much room between the wall and the table so Peter can't exactly get past if Soldier with his erection keeps shuffling in front of him, and Peter appears to want no part of actually making physical contact with him.
:Unknown Soldier:
We helped you out at the bar. Now you need to help us out here.
:Gilmour:
Helped me out? I wouldn't' exactly call dipping your dick into somebody's drink helping me out at the bar.
:MM 17 31707 1: Will you two stop arguing? We're done here anyway. Look -- she finished the whole thing.
While Peter and Soldier were talking they had no clue that the woman actually grabbed the jar and ate the piece of black fecal matter within seconds. She chowed down like it was a Milky Way and her name was Barney Green! Not only that, but she guzzled that piss in such large gulps that even Mister Mystery almost had trouble stomaching the sight. Needless to say, this woman has earned her freedom.
:MM 17 31707 1: You guys don't have to worry about doing anything wrong now. She passed the test! Let's give her a big round of applaus.
Mister Mystery starts to clap over excitedly as Peter Gilmour slowly raises his hands, not sure how to take this, and also claps a little. He's very relieved that there won't have to be a murder here tonight. Unknown Soldier also claps but the sounds of clapping from him are in the form of his open hand smacking his hard-on around as it bobbles back and forth.
:Unknown Soldier:
I wish Greggo were here for this. He's good at this game.
:MM 17 31707 1: I don't want Greggo anywhere near me and this was a job strictly for the three of us -- to harden us for the battle ahead at Gauntlet City.
:Unknown Soldier:
You've got that right.
Peter backs away from Soldier as Mister Mystery pulls the girl up to her feet.
:Woman:
Is that really it? You're letting me go? Oh god. Thank you.
Now we skip ahead only 3 seconds. What a difference 3 seconds can make.
:Unknown Soldier:
I really don't see how we can let her go under these circumstances.
Peter Gilmour is freaking out right now.
:Gilmour:
You mean because you just split her head open with that fucking pickax? What the fuck Soldier!
:MM 17 31707 1: Hey, hey; we can't put the blame on Soldier here. She must have said something that irked him. Soldier's looking out for our best interest here.
Peter tries to leave but Soldier and Mister Mystery grab him and back him into the corner. Mister Mystery with his mask pressed up against Peter's face and Soldier with his erection pressed up against Peter's leg. Mystery puts his hand around Peter's throat and growls like a rabid animal.
:MM 17 31707 1: You're going to help us get out of this mess or you're going to be a part of the mess. We need to trust each other! We need to know we can count on each other.
Peter is almost hyperventilating and he's sweating bullets. He knows that Mister Mystery and Unknown Soldier would have no problem ripping him into pieces and either digesting the pieces or using them as fuck toys. He weighs this thought against the thought of walking out of Gauntlet City with the Trio Championships and possibly even as King of XWF. Yes, even in a time like this Peter's mind travels to thoughts of dominating the wrestling industry -- just what Mister Mystery was counting on.
:Gilmour:
This is so fucked. This is wrong, but I'll do it. I'll help you guys out and we'll go on to Gauntlet City like none of this ever happened.
Unknown Soldier smiles and Peter can feel Soldier's erection get even harder. Soldier and Mystery back up away from Peter and allow him to catch his breath and even Mister Mystery himself is both surprised with how fast Unknown Soldier is already face fucking the dead woman.
Not by placing his dick in the mouth.
By shoving it into the open cavity in her face that was created by the pickax. Peter looks away and tries to ignore what Soldier is doing.
:Gilmour:
I can't believe this. Alright, what do you need me to do?
:MM 17 31707 1: I just need you to share a good time with us so we can feel united as a true team. When he's done fucking that corpse, I'm going to take my turn with her.
Peter is afraid to ask what comes next.
:MM 17 31707 1: And as you might imagine, you're going to get sloppy thirds. You're going to fuck that bitch the same way you wanted to fuck that girl at the bar. This is your chance to let out those frustrations and this time none of it would count as cheating on your fiance. Everybody knows that if they're dead, they're fair play.
:Gilmour:
What???????????
:MM 17 31707 1: Oh, I'm pretty fucking sure you heard every word I just said, Peter.
Unknown Soldier begins to howl like some kind of hyena as he humps faster and faster. His body trembles as he has the mother of all orgasms while keeping his eyes opened as wide as they can be, locked directly with Peter's eyes the entire time. Peter tries to move but Soldier keeps his eyes locked with his.
:Gilmour:
Oh my god why the fuck is he staring at me like that?
:MM 17 31707 1: Would you rather he had his dick in your brain and was staring at the woman?
Peter lets out a disgusted groan as he falls back against the fall and seems weak at the knees.
:Unknown Soldier:
Hey Mystery -- I'm almost hard again.
He literally just finished and he's already getting excited again as he smears the woman's blood all over himself and sucks it off of his own fingers.
:Unknown Soldier:
I say we Eiffel Tower this bitch!
:MM 17 31707 1: What the fuck is that?
:Unknown Soldier:
It's where one of us fucks her from behind and the other fucks her face and we give each other high fives in the process. She'd have to be on her knees though so we're going to need Peter to hold her body in position while we rail her. She's having trouble supporting herself in her current state. This can be how he earns our trust if he would prefer not to actually fuck the dead body!
Both of them look at Peter Gilmour.
:Gilmour:
No. No. NO. I will not do that.
The Eiffel Tower
Sure, it literally took hours of convincing but we skipped all of that footage and got right to the good stuff.
Unknown Soldier slaps hands with Mister Mystery as blood particles fly out from between their hands with each high five and hit Peter in the face while he holds the dead woman's waist to keep her in proper position. Unknown Soldier has taken up the rear since he already had a taste of the head earlier, and Mister Mystery is fucking the head so hard that chunks of brain and skull are dropping down onto the floor. Both men are really enjoying the fact that their hands are free to give each other high fives and occasionally ruffle up Peter's hair with their soaked hands while he holds the woman in position.
:Gilmour:
Oh my fucking god are you guys almost done?
:Unknown Soldier:
You hear that? Peter wants us to cum! Tell us to cum, Peter! Tell us!
Peter shakes some of the blood and chunks off of his head and screams at them both.
:Gilmour:
Cum already! Cuuuuum!
:Unknown Soldier:
Soldier starts having what can only be described as demonic convulsions and his head almost spins in a circle from how turned on he gets by being told to cum by Peter Gilmour. The explosion actually shoots the corps forward and harder into Mister Mystery which turns him on just as much. It's like somebody hooked some electrical cables up to Mystery's body as he shakes so violently and uncontrollably that the remainder of the woman's head actually explodes! Most of it going in Peter's face of course.
Peter finally lets go of the body and runs over to a large industrial sink in the far corner of the room to go wash himself off as Unknown Soldier and Mister Mystery fall to the floor, twitching and moaning.
:Gilmour:
Oh my god you've got to be kidding me! Why doesn't this sink work???
Passing The Test
By now you may be wondering many things and could have completely forgotten that we need to find out how Mister Mystery did on his urine test. Did he pass? If not, he's going to be gone from the XWF for 6 months according to General Manager Blackwater.
Let's remember that the events we're seeing right now happened prior to the piss test, so we're actually about to find out how Mister Mystery prepared for the test.
:MM 17 31707 1: Unzip your pants, Peter.
Remember those random hoses that were laid out on the table next to the television? What you didn't see was the catheter that Unknown Soldier is already in the process of shoving into Mister Mystery's penis.
:MM 17 31707 1: Ouch. Watch that shit. You don't want to mash it like that. Insert it gently so I'm not walking around with a black and blue dick for weeks.
Suddenly some of our questions from the previous promo are becoming clear.
Peter watches in horror as Soldier finishes shoving the catheter in place and blood pours from Mister Mystery's penis.
:MM 17 31707 1: Ok Gilmour, now this is where you're really going to help me out. Take that device on the table, open it up, and piss into it.
:Gilmour:
What????
:MM 17 31707 1: I'm pretty fucking sure you heard me. We don't have time to waste. Do it.
Peter grabs the device, pops open its lid, and pisses into it because he had to take a huge piss anyway and by now this is the least of his worries out of the things he's been forced to do today.
:MM 17 31707 1: Alright, good. Now set it down next to me and hook those hoses together. Put that end into the device and let Soldier plug the other end of the hose into this catheter. Hurry up.
Peter quickly does as he's told as Soldier grabs his end of the hose and jams it into the catheter, causing Mister Mystery to jump and scream.
:MM 17 31707 1: Mother fucker! Careful with that!
Unknown Soldier pats Mister Mystery's bloody dick and apologizes as Peter Gilmour just stands there with his eyes ready to pop out of his skull. The machine is hooked up and Unknown Soldier flips a switch on the machine.
Peter watches as his own, steroid-free urine is filtered through the clear hose and slowly up into Mister Mystery's own penis while Mystery sits on the table. Mystery begins to groan and moan as the piss enters his system.
:MM 17 31707 1: Oh my god, guys. I need you. Come here!
He grabs hold of Unknown Soldier's hand and Peter Gilmour's hand. He squeezes their hands and lets out a loudest roar of his entire life as Soldier and Gilmour's hands almost get crushed into dust from how hard he's squeezing. It's almost like he's giving birth and they're there to support him as he screams in pain and almost rips their arms off of their bodies.
:MM 17 31707 1: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
They continue to hold his hands as his body receives the entire load of Peter's urine. Mister Mystery falls back on the table and lets out a huge sigh of relief once it's over and Unknown Soldier rips the catheter out!
:MM 17 31707 1: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
:Unknown Soldier:
It was Peter!
Soldier whips Peter repeatedly with the hose as blood and piss get all over him.
Ladies and gentlefucks -- we've just seen the most solid display of team work that we've ever been witness to in the XWF.
And yes -- for those wondering -- General Manager Blackwater did eventually call Mister Mystery back after the piss test and confirmed for him-
-that he had passed with flying colors.
Literally. Mostly red and gold.
:Gilmour:
Stop whipping me with that damn hose, Soldier! Fuck!
The following 2 users Like Mister Mystery 17 31707 1's post:2 users Like Mister Mystery 17 31707 1's post Peter Fn Gilmour (03-31-2013), Unknown Soldier (03-31-2013)
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The following 2 users Like Mister Mystery 17 31707 1's post:
Sebastian Duke is -- It's all the exact same drivel that I heard six months ago -- and this time will be more enjoyable than the first. Ejaculate everywhere?
![[Image: oqhyzp.png]](http://i43.tinypic.com/oqhyzp.png)
