The scene opens to Morbid Angel sitting in his house preparing a nice syringe of that sweet sweet steroid juice when the camera comes in. Morbid quickly tosses the needle behind the couch to keep up with the Maddness family friendly TV shit. Morbid tries to act natural while he is scrambling to pull the short shirt sleeve down to cover his injection area.


Morbid Angel-"Damn, you guys got here quick...didn't expect you so soon."


Morbid gets op and heads over to his arm chair and takes a seat and pulls out a copy of the latest Gator promo and begins to do what he does best...DESTROYING MOTHERFUCKERS!


Morbid Angel-"Ooh, looks like Gator is trying to put his big boy pants on and try and step it up. It’s sad when he TRIES to be something he’s not, I start feeling all bad for him and shit but he does this to himself.

He is a bold motherfucker bringing in all the General managers to tell him what we already know is a lie. The General managers can be bought and this is no different. It is a known fact that you listed a bunch of fucking jokers to back up your claims. Matthew Oaktree is so new that he doesn’t know shit about anything going on in the XWF. He only got the job because there was a need for more puppets in the XWF. The fact that he literally started less than a month ago means he was really starving for cash when you approached him.

Gabrielle House is even newer! You couldn’t even grab a reputable General Manager to fucking cone to arms? House is not what I would call the pinnacle of honesty and is clearly a fucking liar. He is so unknowledgeable and vague, forgetting that there are many different kinds of steroids out there. Clean of steroids he says? HA maybe you have IBS or Crohn's and you need certain steroids, not talking about anabolic steroids and even when dealing with the muscles there are many different types of steroids and compiling them all into one word means they were just looking for anabolic and not anything more. I wonder how he will block my Synthol accusation?

It becomes quite clear that Ozymandias is behind this weak attempt to prove me wrong as he flexes his muscles against Kirk Mcclay when it comes out that Gator is in fact a user of steroids but is quickly browbeaten by Ozymandias into saying Gator is clean. This isn’t saying much because Kirk is the motherfucker that ruined Monday Madness, a complete joke that can ruin one of the oldest shows in the XWF. The fucking thing could run itself but he managed to fuck it all up. How’s that for credibility?

Miranda Tigris, the failed general manager who does exactly what these days? Nothing? She hasn’t run a show or even done a fucking thing to improve anything. The fact that Gator hired Ozymandias to gather the biggest rag tags in the XWF to confirm known lies is mind blowing. This crusty bitch who goes by the name Miranda Tigris is nothing to the federation and yet she is allowed to sit on a panel of fucking jokes who haven’t even broke their managing cherry. It’s fucking hilarious and it still proves nothing except that you are in fact grasping for reasons to carry on.

Gator you are a funny man in your attempts to prove me wrong and in doing so you managed to fuck up your entire thing against you using steroids. Being cheap will get you in the end and this will be your undoing for sure. Even though I know you’ll come back with your trademarked “You’re a fucking idiot. Blah, blah, blah You know nothing. Blah, blah, blah. You are .” You know, the same things you do over and over. It does get old when you use the same insults…just saying.

Now back to my point. Your fuck up.

Quote: *Gator gets up from his chair and walks off camera. The footage transitions to Gator sat on a hospital bed in a small room, a plaster on the inside of his arm, he looks to Todd holding the camera*

"I am here at Massachusetts General Hospital and a hour or two ago, I gave some blood and piss for a test to see if I am positive for use of steroids."

Well that’s quite specific. I mean you planned that out rather well knowing that there are more than one Massachusetts General Hospital. Now let’s assume for a minute that people are dumb and know nothing, as you like to put it so often. You are a salesmen, you are selling what you are saying as a fact. These facts must run through many people and be proven as facts. Some not as bright as others but still it all must pass through for approval. That’s what you are selling, facts not fiction. Like a used car salesman you sometimes need to lie to get things to fit in whatever story you are laying out there as XWF is a business which was designed and built to make money for the owners. Let’s take for a minute any large business is not into wasting large sums of money and then for another second let’s talk about what is realistic about going to do a blood test in an already busy hospital and considering it was $1500 to walk through the door plus all the staff that attended to you would probably bring you up to about $5000 in medical that isn’t covered by any insurance carrier unless it is for illness. Steroids are not an illness unless you were actually trying to find out if that ladyboy had AIDS and even then you would probably end up going to a testing center or what is known as a “Medical Group” for these testings. You chose a hospital for a non emergency which I am sure on a FRIDAY is packed with many people from all the drinking and shit not to mention you are going after hours. Even though you think everything is OK, those elective procedures are done until 5PM and your timeline was well after 5PM. Even though you claimed it was “An Hour Or Two” before it still would have been almost 7PM.

For a second I will pretend that time didn’t matter and you in fact did get your blood test they would have recommended one of the local testing centers for you to use and there are a good many

(https://www.google.com/maps/search/blood...a=!3m1!4b1)

19 total testing clinics within a 20 mile radius. I know, I am not making any sense right now.
The XWF as a franchise would never allow almost $20,000 to be wasted on nothing that couldn’t have been done for less than $500 at a local clinic with all the same guarantees the hospital offers.

Ignoring the waste of money and obviously bad business practices from the weakest managers in the XWF. Let’s discuss Why they didn’t fly you to them. $15,000 to fly all these big wigs on the company card, probably in a private jet verse having you fly down to them which costs the XWF $800 and that’s if you are flying first class. So $800 plus the $500 for testing comes to what? TWENTY THOUSAND?!...Not even close, a meager $1300. Now what if I told you that Shane wasn’t too happy when he found out that you and his managers were trying to defraud the XWF for a free vacation?

I guess we’ll never know what really happened…fuck it!”



Morbid Angel gets up from his chair and walks off camera and the scene

Fade to Black

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The Scene Opens To....

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Shane caught wind of five of his trusted General Managers using company funds for their own personal vacations for no reasons what so ever other than to see the sights masking it with impending fraudulent reasons.

Shortly after the tickets were purchased on the company account, Shane got a notification e-mail of the large transaction over his morning Potato coffee and fresh potatoes from his home garden. Rumors have it that he uses his own feces as part of the mulch making his potatoes the best in the area.
Regardless, Shane looked for any notification as to why 5 general managers were flying to Boston and he got no answers.

To himself he figured why not take a little trip to Boston himself and booked a flight set to arrive an hour earlier than the other flight…bur first, a phone call!

Shane goes to his iTato 5 which is just an iPhone inside a potato but don't you dare call it a fucking case!


And dials one of his most trusted associates…John Madison!



John Madison-“What!”



Shane swallows down his mouthful of potato before speaking…he never likes to be rude.



Shane-“Boston.”



Shane replies before taking another bite.



John Madison-“Boston?”

Shane-“Boston.”

John Madison-“…Boston.”

Shane-“Boston!”

John Madison-“Boston!!!”

Shane-“BOSTON!”

John Madison-“Boston…”

Shane-“Boston”



The two hang up. Their conversation might have been short but their ability to act as one with few words speaks volumes over those who believe they are as swift.

Shane finishes his meal and heads for the plane heading to Boston, perhaps trying to meet his employees at the airport or to see what they are up to!

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One Gratuitous Travel Scene Later

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Shane is at the Hospital looking for any phlebotomy tech available to answer his inquiries but at this point he would settle for any old nurse with the ability to answer his questions.

A night nurse was sitting behind the help desk and Shane struts up to the desk with his chest poked out confident he will get answers.


Shane-"Potatoes!...er, I mean I am looking for a man named Jacob Woods. He had a blood test done today at Massachusetts General Hospital."


Nurse-"Do you know which hospital he was at? There are 3 of them in this area."


Shane-"Use the computer and type the name in for my answers."


Nurse-"Sir...."



Shane cuts her off with a wave of his hand.



Shane-"Please, call me Potato Anal Lord."




The nurse looks at Shane oddly for a second before continuing.


Nurse-"Anyway, I can't give you any information on any given patient. It is against our privacy policy and very much against the law."



Shane pulls employment papers from his inside jacket pocket and shows them to the nurse.



Shane-"His name is Jacob Woods, he is my employee and me just had $5000 charged to my account for a blood test. I want to know why and giving that I am the legal proxy to all my employees ergo this is a sports franchise I am given every right to what ever information I deem privy to when it comes to health."


The nurse clacks away at the keyboard.



Nurse-"Jacob Woods wasn't signed in here today, perhaps he was signed in at one of our other area hospitals, there are in fact 3 Massachusetts General Hospitals."



Shane leans over the desk and offers her a potato as a way to seduce her in a mildly romantic way. Given if it was a flower it might have been more of a heart flutter versus the look of "WHAT THE FUCK".



Shane-"Can you check to see what hospital the tests were done in and what for?"



Nurse-"Blood test. Probably checking for AIDS which is mostly what our outside facilities test for"



Shane takes a step back in shock.



Shane-"!...I mean...there's nothing wrong with that. So many dicks."



The scene Fades to a Blood Red!