"Finally.

Fin-a-fucking-ly.

It's about God damn time that someone from that team of creampuffs finally decided to open their mouth and even if for only a moment act like they have a wrestling match this week.

Or as I like to call it a free visit to the Dentist's office.

Tommy Gunn. DDM at your service.

Now I don't have time to bullshit around, Fern should be back any minute with the fake lunch order that I gave him. I wonder what is going to piss him off more, the fact that I placed a bogus lunch order for almost $200.00 that he has to pay for or the fact that as soon as he gets in the car I'm going to hit the gas as hard as I can and then throw the food out the window?

Guess we'll find out.

But in the meantime let's talk about Ghost Tank.

First off all this assholes promo was like getting a view into the mind of a kid with ADD.

Scene one, Ghost Tank is crying because he let a dipshit like Vinnie Lane escape from his BDSM dungeon.

Scene two Ghost Tank is worshipping at the altar of Brother Frodo again because, fuck if I can explain why that mental midget does anything he does.

Scene three Ghost Tank is jerking off in the corner while sniffing a piece of pizza.

Don't worry it's not delivery, it's Digiorno.

Scene four is Ghost Tank sitting on a toilet shitting out the pizza he just ate while his sex toy shows him a picture that she paid some little kid, possibly Tag, to draw.

And then finally Ghost Tank get's into what I guess he would call the "meat" of his promo.

I call it the part where he shows the world that diarrhea can also come out of his mouth.

First I just want to point out that re-return is not a word.

One can return to something half a billion times but that doesn't mean that each return is a re-return. Or a re-re-return. Or a re-re-re-return. Speaking of re-re's where the fuck is Tag at anyway?

Back to Tank.

Now let me set the record straight for a second as Ghost Tank seems to have a problem with the retelling of facts.

Yes it's true that I was scheduled to take part in a match with Ghost Tank several weeks ago but then for some reason Peter Gilmour got thrown into the mix.

Now I know what you are all thinking, why would Tommy Gunn bow out of a match with a bitch made pussy like Ghost Tank and a fat cock sucker like Peter Gilmour? Especially when Gunn has been trying to get Gilmour in a match for months?

And the answer is this. I felt bad for Ghost Tank.

Everyone knew that I was going to fuck Ghost Tank up like he fucks up every pair of underwear he owns but when Gilmour got added to the match I figured, you know what, how about I do the nice thing and I take a step back and give Ghost Tank a chance to actually win a match? You know, since he hasn't done so since War Games and even then it wasn't because of anything he did and everything to do with what his team did.

So yeah for once I tried to do the nice thing and give Tank a chance to earn a little respect, maybe gain some confidence and this is how he repays me? By calling me a pussy.

Why you gotta be so rude?

Don't you know I'm human too?

And another thing, you didn't originally decline facing me because of Brother Frodo because Brother Frodo never told you not to face me. You declined because you're such a fantastic pussy that you make Peter GIlmour look like a man. Not to mention that Frodo never actually said it was ok for you to face me. He never said, "it's ok Tank, Gunn isn't really my best friend go ahead and get your ass kicked in by him." Frodo said nothing.

You just decided on your own that after originally pretending to give a fuck about what Brother Frodo had to say that it no longer mattered and you were just going to do whatever it is you wanted to do because that's how Ghost Tank rolls. He's all about teamwork when it suits him.

You know what else I find truly fucking fantastic?

This...and I quote...

is this fucking guy serious Said:You're a little bitch, Gunn, and come Madness, the newbie, Fernando, is going to show YOU, the supposed veteran, how to actually wrestle, and that's just sad. So, so sad.

Not you are going to show me, or either of your two partners but Fernando. Thank you for admitting to the world, even if you didn't mean to that you are a fucking idiot on top of being a shit wrestler. I would call you the new Peter Gilmour but the old Peter Gilmour is still employed here. Somehow.

One last thing Tank because if i say anymore I'm scared you might have a heart attack and drop dead on the spot when it finally hits you just how deep of a grave you dug yourself by coming at me.

People don't call me great because they kiss my ass, or because they are afraid to say anything else. They call me great because I am. I'm 5-1 in my career here at the XWF. Soon to be 6-1, which will then swell to 9-1 after I beat Gilmour, Mastermind and TJ Wallace. Meanwhile your record will look something like 1 - 235,000. All I do is win, all you do is shit the bed. Try and remember that on Monday when the match ends and like usually you are on the losing side. Oh and since you are in the game of changing your name every few weeks how about Ghost Tank "The Loser" at least that name would be a moniker true to it's bearer. Just thought, do with it what you will.

The camera swings to the right to see Austin Fernando walking back to the truck with two big plastic bags in his hands.

"Poor Austin, he has no idea what's about to happen."

Fernando reaches through the open truck window and places one of the bags on the seat and then with his now free hand opens the door. He climbs into the truck and then turns and puts both bags on the floor behind him.

"There, I got the massive lunch order. Are you happy now?"

"I am. Also, while you were gone I made up a list of all the reasons why I'm better than you."

Gunn reaches down into his pocket and pulls out a small piece of paper which he then hands to Austin.

"It just says 'I'm Tommy Gunn.'"


End.