Threaded Mode | Linear Mode

**02-03-2015, 07:16 PM**

We're inside of Burger King John Madison's lavish mansion which comes with its very own Burger King. We won't be focusing on BK tonight though. Instead, we're live in John Madison's bathtub. John Madison is in his bathtub watching videos on his laptop. The bathtub is huge and it costs more than Xavier Swan's house (confirmed fact). John likes taking baths. He always fills the tub with bubbles so that they reach his chin as he lays down. As we mentioned earlier, John is pecking away at his laptop which would get wet if being used in anyone else's bathtub. Not John's though, because John's bathtub is so advanced that it has a pullout shelf with speakers and shit. Everything is gold too. The tub is gold. The bottle of Johnnie Walker, the floors, walls, ceiling, sink, toothbrush; even the toilet paper; it's all gold. You can't even find where he put his Trio Title because it's camouflaged by all of the gold! John is watching an episode of Friends on his laptop--what a

. Let's get a closer look at what he's watching exactly.

Quote:Rachel: See? Unisex.

Joey: Maybe you need sex. I just had it a few days ago.

Rachel: No, Joey, U-N-I-sex.

Joey: I wouldn't say no to that.

John Madison: AHAHAHAAH! HOHOHO! HAHAHAAHA!

John is kicking water everywhere as he laughs at this hilarious shit. Uh oh, a splash of water fell into the keyboard.

John Madison: HEY FLO! Bring me a towel!

Flo comes running in to serve John his towel. She's wearing see through panties and a John Madison shirt with the nipples cut out.

Flo: Hey baby, I brought you a fresh towel to clean yourself up with. What are you watching? Is that Friends? I LOVE Friends!

John Madison: Holy shit, Flo. Shut the fuck up and give me my towel. Better yet, just put it on the ground and walk away.

Flo: HEY ASSHOLE! You're the one who invited me in here!

John Madison: Yeah but I don't want to watch Friends with you. You're a fucking WHORE! I DON'T WATCH FRIENDS WITH WHORES!

Flo: FUCK YOU!

Jesus Christ, Flo kicks the laptop and it nearly falls into the water.

John Madison: What the fuck, Flo? Did you take your medicine? Drop the fucking attitude! The only reason I brought you in here was to dry off my keyboard, but now all of you've done is make it more wet.

Flo: That's all you've been doing all week is watching that TV show and fucking prostitutes.

John Madison: They're not prostitutes, you fucking bitch! They are my friends like on Friends.

Flo: You pay them and me for sex!

John Madison: No I don't! I've never! You know what? THAT'S IT!

John reaches under his bathtub and pulls out a Glock 19. And holy fuck, even the Glock is gold plated, what a pimp. John fires a warning shot into the ceiling and then puts a bullet through the back of Flo's head as she was trying to run away. John blows on the barrel of the gun and tries to twirl it on his finger but it falls into the water instead.

John Madison: I don't pay for sex, I pay for your company! Shit, there's a dead whore in my bathroom. What will I do now?

John pulls out his phone and dials Theo's number. Theo will know how to deal with this situation. The phone rings like six times before Theo answers. He must be jerking off to gay black guy porn. Theo answers the phone with a question. What an asshole.

Theo Pryce: Why haven't you been answering your phone?

John Madison: Fuck you!

John hangs up, laughing. Shortly after hanging up, he calls Theo right back.

Theo Pryce: Yeah?

John Madison: Theo, send someone to clean up these hookers I have laying around in my house. Luca doesn't answer my phone calls anymore.

Theo Pryce: That's a shame. I remember when he'd literally crash through the ceiling when you said his name.

John Madison: I know! God damn Millennials!

Theo Pryce: Well, I'll send someone over to clean up your mess as long as you get on a plane.

John Madison: Alright, fine. Text me the information. I'm gonna get ready. I'll meet you at the airport like I do in all of my promos.

Theo Pryce: Right.

John is now sitting in his gold limousine drinking an ice tea while he goes over his notes. Apparently he just went through some promos and matches of his opponents.

Holy shit.

Are we all on the same page here or am I watching the wrong show? Please tell me that I downloaded the wrong event and that I did not just watch Gator swat the number one contender, Aerial Knight, like a fly.

Quote:Gator
85%
- vs -
Aerial Knight
100%
TV Title Match 3

Aerial Knight lands The Knighting on Gator.

Knight slowly crawls over and places one arm across Gator as the ref begins the count...

Before the ref hits the ring a third time the time expires. He quickly turns around and signals for the bell ending the match without a 3 count.

Gator ~~regains~~ retains the title.

I just checked with Theo and he confirmed that this is an actual match. For a second I thought this was some kind of a joke. Gator, who just went through hell in separate, back to back matches with Maverick and Mastermind, just took everything that Aerial Knight threw at him like it was nothing.

I gotta double check. Am I actually fighting Aerial Knight this week? Please tell me that I just imagined the name Aerial Knight being on that card.

I just double checked and yes, Aerial Knight is supposed to be one of my opponents.

Why, Aerial? Why are you my opponent when you lost to a guy who was 50% at Turning Point? Go ahead Aerial; tell me how Gator was actually at 85% because he used magical beans to beat you. Do it. I wanna hear you say that! What a joke...

And what about your partners TJ Wallace and Xavier Swan? These two deserve a Trio Title match for what reason exactly? Looks like Xavier was pushed aside by management in favor of Barney Green and The Crimson Dong for Turning Point. That's not surprising seeing as how I'm not impressed by what I see from Mr. Swann. This match where Lane carries him and the rest of his friends in a match is awful. And just to prove my point about Lane carrying them, Lane crushed Wallace only a couple of weeks later at Turning Point.

But we'll touch on the tag match first seeing as how this is a tag match that's coming up. It was the Team Tigris vs. Team MacClay match. How did that match go exactly? Surely that match wasn't an indicator of who might be the strongest between Lane and the three members of The Underground. I would assume that the three of them were able to band together and win the match with some kind of devastating trio finishing move while Lane knelt in the corner to catch his breath. That sounds so exciting! Let's watch how that went down.

You've got to be kidding me. I know the allegation of "you guy got carried" gets thrown around here a lot, but come on. Look at that footage, Aerial. Tell me that The Underground didn't get carried that night. (Right after you tell me that you lost to magic beans!) How did The Underground manage to look so incredibly weak while pulling off a victory?

Jesus fucking Christ. I know it was only against Frodo, Iceman, and LH; but how many times is Lane going to carry these shitty teams to victory? Aren't you tired of that shit by now, Lane?

And Ariel, again I must ask: why?

I stand by and wait patiently for a formidable team to step up and I get stuck with you guys.

Lane should be the one losing to me on Wednesday, not you three jackoffs. Why should I even bother showing up? If Aerial can't put a guy down who's at 50%, how is he gonna perform against a team that is known to operate at 150%?

You see, if it were simply just Theo and Samuels then we could argue that it's 100% Kings vs 100% Underground, but when you add in John Madison, the energy level goes above standard. I don't just contribute, I add extra value due to the fact that I fulfill both roles as manager and wrestler.

But then you might ask, "John aren't you undervaluing yourself by stating that you're only worth 50%?"

I'll answer that question for you, Aerial.

That additional 50% is what separates The Three Kings from all other Trios.

The truth is, I am more of a manger than I am a wrestler. Not just any manager-- a manager that adds value and a significant advantage to the team that I'm managing because I am an active participant.

I only stand on the apron and call myself a wrestler as a courtesy so that it's officially 3 on 3. But I'm more like a coach who's come off of the sideline to make sure everything goes down as planned.

Now, put me alone in the ring along with either of you three, then sure you have a fair shot at kicking my head in. Without a team, I only operate at 50% which is fine because I will never be left alone in the ring with anyone! Although, Aerial did lose to a guy who was at 50% so I probably stand a good chance at beating him. That's pretty sad that Aerial can only match up to a feeble ringside assistant, and even then some would argue that I have an edge over Aerial.

So no, don't expect King Theo or King John to tag me in. I will be performing other duties in that match in areas where I'm far more valuable.

John opens up his briefcase and runs his fingers over the assortment of weapons. A police baton, pepper spray, and cattle prod.

I can't wait to use all of these toys on Wednesday. Is it illegal? Yes. Will I be disqualified? No, unless The Underground wants to piss away a shot at carrying home some gold.

So Aerial, I've raised the question: Why do you deserve a Trio title shot?

Don't take that as an insult, Aerial. Not once have I said, "Aerial Knight does not deserve this opportunity." No, not at all. I sincerely want to know why you believe that you deserve a title shot because maybe there's something that I'm overlooking. After all, I'm only a manager; it's not my place to decide who deserves what. I've heard Theo's and Samuel's sides of it, but I want to hear from Aerial Knight before I come to a final decision.

I don't care about Swann or Wallace's answers. I want to hear Aerial's answer since he is clearly the weak link on their team. It shouldn't be a difficult question, Aerial.

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode Aerial Knight is so shitty
Author	Message