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Gator · **01-23-2015, 11:57 AM**

[Upstate New York]
[Some random ass barn in some random ass field]
[Early morning]

*The Suzuki Swift sits parked inside the messy barn, Blake Lively sits inside, looking down at her dawdling thumbs. Gator sits on a haystack smoking, Todd beside him, bags under his eyes*

"You know, if we had the DeLorean this would be like the scene in Back To The Future were Marty goes back to nineteen fifty five and a crashes into the barn-"

T: "Gator! Focus."

"Old man Peabody had this crazy idea of breeding pine cones-"

T: "Gator!"

"Todd! You love Back To The Future as much as I do. Why are you stopping me referencing that wonderful movie?"

T: "Because now is really not the time."

"Dude. We have nothing but time...."

T: "Don't."

"Take me away-ay, I don't mind! But you better promise me I'll be back in ti-e-ime!"

*Gator bops his head, mimicking the saxophone as Todd lowers his head and rubs his tired eyes. Tired of Gator he intervenes*

T: "Jacob Woods!"

*Gator stops and slowly turns to Todd*

T: "We have Blake Lively hidden in a barn, Ryan Reynolds' hitmen are hunting us. We are sat here with a single gun in an empty barn with almost no real cover. We are going to die if we don't think of a plan."

"I have a plan."

T: "What, you do?"

*Gator takes a drag of his cigarette and nods, expelling smoke into the air*

"Reynolds will find us, I have no idea how. But he will, as soon as he pops up we aim that gun of ours at Blake and trade her life for our lives. We let Blake go, Ryan leaves us alone and we go back home. Easy peasy."

T: "That's it?"

"Yeah if he's smart, if he wants to play

I'm going to kill him."

"Hello! I'm too warm now!"

*Blake shouts from the car. Gator looks at her and sighs*

"Todd. Go satisfy her."

T: "Don't tempt me."

*Todd walks lazily to the car as Gator scoffs*

"Oh okay Peter Gilmour."

*Todd walks to the car and opens the driver side door, looking down at the scantily clad Blake Lively*

T: "... What?"

"I'm too warm now."

T: "So?"

"Can you turn the AC down?

T: "... Do it yourself!"

"... I don't know how."

T: "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"What she say?"

T: "She doesn't know how to turn the AC down!"

"You lazy, silver spoon fed bitch."

"It's this piece of crap car. It's all confusing."

"Todd, shut her up and just turn down for what."

T: "What?"

"The AC. Fuck off I'm tired."

*Todd sighs and rolls his eyes as he reaches into the car. Blake suddenly moves and throws her hand into Todd's hoodie pocket, retrieving the handgun and throwing her back against the interior of the passenger side door, aiming the gun at Todd who backs away with his hands held in the air. Gator throws the cigarette to the floor, smoke trailing behind it as he hops of the haystack and simultaneously stamping out the cig*

"Back the fuck off before I blow his brains out!"

*Gator stops dead in his tracks*

"Todd! How in the hell did you get outsmarted by Blake fucking Lively? She can't even turn off the AC!?"

"That was a distraction you moron!"

"No shit. No one appreciates my humour."

*The passenger side door opens and Blake slinks out, aiming the gun interchanging between Todd and Gator as she backs away to the large barn doors, pushing up the large hatch behind her back and pushing them wide open with all her might as she turns around. The barn door separates, letting in the soft light of the sun rising illuminating the inside. All three guard their eyes as the light hits them and Blake steps out onto the frosted grass but stops still, dropping her arms to her side and exhaling in relief. Gator un-shields his eyes as they adjust to the light. His arms drop to his side too, but more aggravated then Blake's reaction*

"You gotta be fucking kidding me."

"R-Ryan!?"

*Ryan Reynolds stands in the open field, suited in a full movie quality Deadpool outfit. Katanas attached to his back as he stares inside the barn, opening his arms to his wife who runs to him, hugging him tightly. Gator watches the pair embrace and clenches his fists as he moves out of the barn*

"How did you find us?"

*Ryan lifts his head from Blake's and moves her to one side*

"Blake honey, there's a car on the road. Wait there."

"But."

"Go! I'll deal with this trash."

*Blake's eyes move quickly as tears start to form in the corner of her eyes. She jogs away as Gator and Ryan stand off*

"Answer the question."

"Tracking chip implanted into her spine. Tom Cruise told me about them, they're all the rage now."

"Bullshit you talk to Tom Cruise!"

"We do! .. On occasion."

"Todd, wait in the barn."

*Todd stands frozen next to the rental car*

T: "Don't have to tell me twice."

"So, what now. You clearly have the arsenal advantage, you just gonna chop me down and go on your merry way?"

"Despite what you may think of me Gator. I'm a honorable man."

*Ryan unsheathes both katanas and throws one at Gator's feet. He looks down at the blade and back at Reynolds*

"So what? You want a fucking duel with Japanese swords in an open field? You trying to be like your good buddy Cruise in the Last Samurai?"

"We are friends! Just pick up the damn sword you fuck!"

"Oh with witty comebacks like that I'm pretty sure I can talk you out of fighting me."

*Ryan stares down Gator for what feels like an eternity as gust of wind moves the blades of damp grass. Gator reaches down and grabs the katana. Both men go into their own stances and start to circle each other, moving closer with every step*

"I'm a method actor. I trained for years with Japanese sword masters to perfect my technique. All that stuff I did in Wolverine Origins, that was all me."

*Ryan rushes Gator, holding the blade high and swinging down clashing against the steel of Gator's sword. The pair struggle, pushing their blades against each other*

"And I lived in Japan for several years. I'm one of the best wrestlers their is and I have never held a katana in my life. But, I fucking love Way of the Samurai two."

*Gator headbutts Reynolds, knocking him back and away from Gator. Reynolds shakes the hit off and raises his katana back up, wildly swinging and clashing at Gator's sword as they move around the field*

"You can't win this fight. All my hatred is focused on you. You ruined my film, tarnished my career, break into my home and kidnap my wife! You like Deadpool, didn't the comics teach you anything? The bad guys never win."

*The pair swing at each other blocking each others slashes*

"I'm the bad gay!? You overacted! Hired people to kill me and my family! I'm just trying to put a stop to this."

"Ha! You really are delusional Woods."

"Fuck you! Sometimes I think I'm the only rational person that exists. Every single person I come across is delusional or in way over their heads. Trying too fucking hard to prove a point that can't be made. Going out of there way to fuck me over somehow. They try and try but they could never get one over me. You're just another prick in my way. And once I kill you, I'm going to go home a happy man."

"You can't kill me. I am your better! And I can prove it."

*The pair struggle against each other with their blades once more. Reynolds flicks his blade up and knock's Gator's katana away, Ryan lunges can catches Gator's shoulder. Gator groans in pain as blood trickles down his arm, he uses all his force to knock the blade away, and clutches his shoulder trying to stop to blood*

"What now Woods? You've just lost an arm."

"Stop over exaggerating. I could beat you with my eyes close."

"And I'm the delusional one who over exaggerates."

*Gator raises his one good arm with the katana and takes a wild swipe downwards at Reynolds, who simply side steps and cuts Gator's leg. Gator screams in pain again and drops to his knee, sticking the katana in the dirt as Ryan moves back in front of him, sticking the blade under his chin*

"Told you, I'm your better."

"Hahahahahahaha..."

"What's so funny?"

"This! Have you thought for one second about how batshit insane this situation is? Ryan Reynolds is trying to kill me while dressed in a similar way. this is some bullshit!"

"I agree it's not ideal."

"Not ideal!? This is the craziest week I've ever had in my entire life! And I went into a fucking video game once! I have seen someone cut off another man's penis and threaten to cut off my dick. I'm dealing with

I've beat multiple times before who truly think this time will be different! ... I am so fucking tired. Just get this over with and leave my family alone."

*Ryan looks at Gator, he lowers the katana and removes his mask*

"... I'm tired too."

*Reynolds sheathes his katana and helps Gator to his feet, Gator rests his hand on his sword's handle*

"So what? We're done here?"

"I wanna just go home and fuck my wife. So yes, we're done. I've beat you, proved my point. I'm just gonna leave you alone. It's been fun."

*Ryan extends his hand, Gator looks at it and accepts it. Reynolds smiles and turns away to walk down the field*

"Thank you."

*Reynolds just gives a pathetic wave backwards as he walks away*

"... Fuck it."

*Gator starts to run, hobbling on his cut leg after Reynolds. He grabs Reynolds from behind and German suplexes him onto the ground, Ryan lands directly on the back of his head. Ryan goes limp on the ground as Gator jumps back to his feet standing over him*

"Ain't over til the bell rings bitch!"

*Gator looks down at the unconscious body of Ryan Reynolds. Todd comes slowly into view*

T: "... You're such an asshole."

"He stabbed me!"

T: "You know Knight is going to have a field day calling you dishonorable for doing that."

"Oh because I really care about Knight's fucking opinion."

T: "So. What are you gonna do now? He's going to wake up soon and kill you."

"I guess I could kill him. But I'm really tired of doing that this week."

T: "So what?"

"... He was in that buried alive movie right?"

T: "You're not burying him alive."

"Fine... I'll make some calls. A few people owe me favours."

*Ryan starts to stir. Gator stomps on his face to knock him back out and the scene goes to black*

Later that day..

*The footage fades in to Gator's home. Todd, Scarlett and the masked man are stood in the kitchen. Noise of construction tools echo throughout the house*

SCARLETT: "It's so good to have you back honey."

T: "..."

SCARLETT: "You too Todd."

"Good to be back. The house is going to look nice once they're done."

SCARLETT: "I can understand fixing the damage but why are you redecorating the bathroom?"

"No real reason."

T: "So, you get a call from the cops?"

"Ozy's sorting it out."

SCARLETT: "And Ryan Reynolds?"

"He's being looked after by top men."

SCARLETT: "Who?"

"Top. Men."

*The footage transitions to a large factory, filled with crates stacked on top of each other*

F A D E 2 B L A C K

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode The Ryan Reynolds Saga: Part Four
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