*Gator talks over footage of an old Godzilla movie*
GATOR: "Yo. Same situation, I apologise. It's rather unprofessional I know. But, let's get down to it shall we?"
"So, let's start with Mastermind, considering he's entering the gauntlet first, this will be his only chance to be number one. We need new material? Well, honestly I think we can all agree that the 'old' material we use against you is working pretty fucking well. You're the one who needs some new stuff. I'm Mastermind, I lose all the time and smell like cat piss because I'm that damn good. Get the fuck out of here. It's getting embarrassing now man. I have no idea why you still continue with all this stupid bullshit about how good you are when the point that you are not that damn good has been proven, over and over again. Remember when you went on that massive losing streak? You had a moment of clarity. You realised you are not that good and it left you like a stunned mullet or some other stupid Kiwi saying. You looked at your life and your career, you sat down and you thought. And you released the best promo I have ever seen from you... What the fuck happened? You had this brief time where everyone thought you were growing up, getting better and now you're doing this bullshit again. Back to fucking square one."
"You're even doing newscasts and television themed promos. With your fucking fiance! Jesus, don't drag her into your shit.... But congrats by the way. Am I invited to the wedding?"
Mazzy Said:you guys are losers with a capital L.
GATOR: "... Right. We need new material. You're right Mazzy, how the hell can we accomplish such amazing new material as yours? Maybe we too can watch some crappy teen movie from the eighties and take the insults the jocks say. Then can we be as good as you? Hold up, let me give it a shot. Mazzy, you're as useful as a screen door on a submarine. How's that? How about, you are a square. That good enough? This brand spanking new material got you all riled up buddy? Fuck off. Then the Xteme belt shit again. Well done Mazzy, you really earned that belt. Oh, no you didn't because you lost it immediately. Wanna know what I think? I think you only deserve a belt if you can defend it. You don't deserve any belt because you would lose it immediately, because you are that damn good. I don't know about Iceman or Knight, but I usually make Todd pin the champ or try to have fun with the champ, I don't really care about the belt right now. Not like I can keep it with the TV title around my waist. Also, Iceman won that belt. Is he a worthy competitor? Even though you think you're better than him, he has achieved the same greatness as you. Won the belt, fucked up, lost the belt. You two are basically twins!"
"In a real match huh? Like I beat D'Ville before in a title match? Like I will beat him when we schedule our rematch? How about you? Why haven't you challenged D'Ville you fucking hypocrite? Too scared? Starting to realise you could only win that belt with a lucky pin? Hahahahaha... Fuck, there is some anger in your words Mazzy. Chill the fuck out. Why don't I try and do what you did? You mean try and defend a belt? Hahaha!!! You realise I've held a championship belt for most of my time time here right? I know all about defending a belt. Just because you couldn't do it doesn't mean it's hard. D'Ville is going about shit pretty easy, Mark Flynn did well. It's just you. You fucking suck. There's no other way to put it, I know you asked for new material but honestly you're not worth the fucking amount of thought to think of something new to say. You just plain suck Mazzy. You mean nothing to me, nothing to anyone. I would feel sorry for if I could even pretend to care about you. You're not better than me, you will never be better than me, you are too over confident for no reason. Just be fucking humble for once in your miserable life and shut the fuck up with this false bravado bullshit. Who the fuck do you think you are giving me lip? I just hope you know I'm going to break every single bone in your fucking body. Give the one person that cares about you, Maria, something to be happy about. Because when I kill you, she'll be happy that she doesn't have to spend the rest of her life with you and realise how much of a pathetic piece of shit you really are.... Moving on."
Iceman Said:First promo, you didn’t do much
GATOR: "I could say the same to you fuck nugget."
Sub Zero Said:Lazarus’ twin brother
GATOR: "Wow. Stayed awake all night to think of that one? Everyone was starting to wonder what gold you were going to come out with after being a lazy asshole for the past few days. Lazarus' twin. Haha, welcome to five months ago you stupid cunt. Did you honestly think that's not been done before? You are a dozy little prick. Other pressing matters? Like shitting on belts and hiring a lookalike? You're meant to be a fucking professional wrestler, try fucking acting like one. But hey, you said you're going to bring your A game! When!? Because I didn't fucking see it in this piece of shit promo! Bad nickname that won't stick and has already been done to death. Lazy trash talk from a no good piece of shit, and a boring promo in general. Halle-fucking-lujah! Looks like the promising kid I first saw way back when is back with vengeance. And he ain't taking no prisoners!"
"How will I ever defend myself against this arrogant tosser? Oh, I know. Best bring my fucking C game to match up with this cunt's A game. Fuck you Iceman. You're just another training dummy in the way. Like one of those inflatable clowns that the weird kids punch before turning into teenagers and shooting up a school. But, can't wait for you to actually try this week. I'm sure it's going to be fucking hilarious. Maybe you need a new nickname actually, with this A game your bringing I'm thinking Scully Two. How does that sound Scully Two? Maybe you can cry about dodgy officials and continue to fall flat on your face with how you sound."
"... Y'know when you laugh at an old woman falling down the stairs? Yeah, that's the same feeling I get watching a Scully Two, forward slash, Iceman promo. Feel sorry for what I'm watching but just can't help but laugh my ass off. So, tell me now. Am I facing the genuine Iceman or is this going to be Un? Or Deux? Trois? Quatre, Cinq, Six, Sept, Huit, Neuf? Bring all the French numbers in! I'll kill the lot, your sorry ass too. I think I'm done with you now, unless you seriously step your game up this may be the last time I mention you. Because you're either going to fall of the face of the Earth or you just won't be worth my time. Let's see what happens."
Aerial Knight Said:"Yes, future knights of tomorrow, you just saw the Aerial Knight, the man who preaches honor and valor, cry like a little bitch because his biological parents died when he came into the world
GATOR: "Great way to open your trash talk Knight. Again, really filling everyone with confidence. And yes, it does want to make me mock you, because I'm a heartless bastard. HA! You cried, you little bitch.. I'm joking. I get it man, it's sad. Sorry about all that. But, here's the thing. I don't care about your parents. I know that's pretty cold, but I really don't. You need to get your head off this whole Batman Origins situation and focus on what's in front of you. Like me! But you did do that, and by god, that is some weak sauce you put on the table."
Land Knave Joan Livervolkswagon Said: Hey there, Jacob, glad to see that the has come back for you once more?
GATOR: "Did you ever leave? And I know you're trying to be smart but you just straight up called yourself a , that is a dumb fucking move. And yes, you are over confident. You don't put it out in the open like fucking Mazzy does but you have this smug aura of 'I can do this!' And I can't fucking stand it. You are not my equal, not in anyway whatsoever. Why the hell would you even think that? Because you babysat my belt? Fuck that, that does not make you my equal. You wanna be my equal? Try and beat me, fuck you're going to have to do it as many times as I've beaten you though. Oh but I didn't pin you. Get the fuck over yourself. You lost! Just accept that and stop moaning like a fucking child. By the end of those fifteen minutes, that belt will be yours huh? How? No, go on, tell me. How exactly are you going to win this? You gonna watch those two African kids with polio beat me down and strike when I'm at my weakest? You gonna jump of the turnbuckle and pray and hope that your finisher lands this time? So please tell me how you could possibly win. Haha, isn't this type of match dishonourable for you anyway? You're going to sit back and relax as I rip through two other guys and they hopefully get some decent shots off, then you're going to waltz in full of energy and attack a weakened man? For shame sir knight."
"... Actually matches. Yeah, it's a phrase in England, get over it. What you think you're better than me! Joking again. I'm being hunted by hitmen, excuse one small slip of the tongue. And do you really want to play this fucking game Knight? If I had the time I could do the same to you, but I can't be arsed with this nitpicky bullshit you're trying to play right now. Oh wait, yes I do."
Hypocrite Knight Joe Dongsworth Said:because you can only when if you face me an even number of times.
GATOR: "Nicely done you stupid cunt. Do you consider this a win by the way? I added two extra letters to the word I was supposed to use because, guess what, I'm in a fucking weird place right now in my life. I gave you a break for crying like a bitch, you could show me the same courtesy and drop this shit. That wasn't even directed towards you! Stop prying into my conversation with Mazzy you nosey little prick. At least I didn't make up a word, I pulled this shit with Steve Davids when he said ufck instead of fuck. That was funny. But hey, let this be a big win for you, because I'm certain no one else cares. Hold on let me check."
*A window is heard opening*
GATOR: "HEY! I PRONOUNCED A WORD WRONG YESTERDAY!"
"Who gives a shit! I'm trying to sleep asshole!"
*The window is heard closing*
GATOR: "See? Mistakes happen John. You fucked up with words. Like you holding my belt for a brief period of time, that was a mistake. Like you were a mistake. Your parents must be rolling in their graves to see what you've become. A misogynistic who thinks he's better than everyone for no reason whatsoever. Tell me, if your mum was still alive would you call her a whore like every other woman under the sun? I'm sure that would make her so fucking proud."
"The mask joke was okay. I wouldn't say better, but okay. You're still calling me on the same old shit as last time with no real improvement and it still worked out the same way as last time. Fuck you! How dare you compare me to Dane Cook! I am Morecambe and Wise compared to Dane fucking Cook. You're the shit that Dane Cook eats for breakfast, the joke that falls flat on the ground after it comes out his dumb mouth. They said you'll never be a talented wrestler, well look at you now! ... Fuck I just referenced a Dane Cook joke, I feel dirty."
Boogie Knights Said:Simple, because you're not better than me at all.
GATOR: "Yes I am. Like, there isn't even a question involved. Our history proves how much better I am than you. I've beat you twice, I have beaten better opponents than you could ever beat. How exactly am I not better than you? You're starting to sound like Mazzy here. You know, just saying you're that damn good does not make you that damn good. You need to prove it, and you have proved in no way that you are better than me, or you are my equal. Face it Knight. You're nothing compared to me.... And you talk about the Shy Guy mask. Dude, it's a straight up Shy Guy mask. But it's made out of porcelain! Wow-wees! So, the same material toilets are made from you're going to put on your face! Fuck a duck, I can make so many puns! Hiding that you're a piece of shit, literally behind the bowl of the toilet. And it breaks easily too. Really hammering the point home that you are indeed, not one to fuck with."
"Hahahaha, waaah waaaaaah waaaaaaah!!! Gator threw me out of the ring! he's so strong and it's not fucking fair!!! Get over it you gigantic pussy. You just said you would pin the easy target too, so don't go fucking calling me dishonourable you moronic jizz rag. We will fight each other one on one, and then I will lay my body overs yours like you've always wanted. Just don't kick out by popping a boner or something. I don't roll that way man. You will not win this match, not while I'm still alive. And you try and get my hatred of odd numbers involved, three. Fuck the number three. But I can make an exception just this once and end our saga on an odd number, just for you Knight. Three defeats, zero wins. It's going to be magical. Just remember to actually try next time, okay?"
"I'm done. And soon I'm going to go into a match with three pissed off orphans, and I'm going to beat you all like you were my foster children. See you next time fuckers."
F A D E2BL A CK
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