Underwater.

“Loverboy” Vinnie Lane opens his eyes beneath the deep, his limbs drifting around him in the waves.

Blond hair drifts in front of his eyes like golden seaweed. He blinks, his irises the same shade of blue as the water. Vibrant sapphire.

Then, the grip on his chest firms. The ache from within his lungs moves from a tightness to a fire, and he coughs a group of bubbles from between his lips.

Futilely, he shouts into the endless water. Another cloud of bubbles explodes from his mouth as his wide eyes dart desperately around him.

Nothing.

Only blue.

And further down – black.

“Vinnie.”

Clear as day, the voice fills Loverboy’s ears. No distortion from the water around him.

“Come back up, Vinnie. Come on.”

Loverboy’s eyes begin to close as shadows crowd around, the pain in his chest growing to a stabbing throb.

“Vinnie!”

Like a light at the end of a tunnel, a gleam of sunlight pierces the murky deep. Loverboy’s eyes snap open, squinting up into the suddenly bright water.

He sees the last of the air leave his lungs in streams of tiny bubbles, floating lazily into the cone of illumination.

With a burst of exasperated, hurried flailing, Loverboy begins to propel himself upward toward the light.

With every moment his vision clouds further,

His chest pounds harder,

The blood thumps into his eardrums faster,

Until he is bathed in the sunlight, warmed by the waters of the surface.

He approaches the light.

He finds the shore.

Sunday? - Tampa

“Loverboy” Vinnie Lane is bone dry when he opens his eyes.

Well, other than a faint feeling of moisture cooling his exposed cock and balls as he sits upright on the center cushion of a cheap couch with his pants undone and pulled halfway down his thighs.

Groggy and confused, Loverboy stares at his slick and glistening manhood, incredulous and uncertain of where he is.

“Thank fucking god. I thought I gave you too much.”

The raven-haired pinup beauty says while crushing the carcass of a spent cigarette into a cheap plastic ash tray nearby.

Tapping her foot, the girl exhales in a long blow, a stream of white-grey smoke curling from her red lips and tapering into nothing above her head, joining the haze trapped beneath the old, high ceiling.

Nikki. That’s Nikki.

I’m in Tampa.

Loverboy looks again at his completely exposed and moist junk, then begins to grab at his pants and pull them back over the hump of his ass and buckling them.

“Nikki… what? Too much what?”

“Relax, Vinnie, nothing you haven’t had on purpose before. I just gave you some Special K. Wanted to make sure you stayed put for a little while, that’s all.”

Nikki stands smiling down at Loverboy, picking up her cell phone and holding it towards him, recording him as he came to his senses.

“I don’t understand… you drugged me? Why?”

“Vinnie… look. It was really hard to get your number, I had to do some favors with some of your old friends to get the connection, okay? I didn’t want to waste my time, and I knew you weren’t going to just believe everything I said, fall back in love and move back to Florida to help raise a kid you’d never heard of before last week. I needed a little insurance.”

“Insurance against what, dude? Why is my dick wet?”

“Because I fucked you.”

“What the FUCK?”

“Yeah. It wasn’t as good as I remember, but, you were unconscious after all. Want to watch?”

She waves the phone in his direction, indicating the entire scene has been recorded for posterity. Loverboy feels his stomach sink.

“Nikki… why? You know I have a fiancée! She’ll get her heart broken if she found out!”

“Exactly, Vinnie. I needed a little blackmail for you, to make sure I get hold of some of that big XWF paycheck you bring home every week. And, to be perfectly honest, I needed some dick. You know how my appetite is.”

“Jesus Christ, Nikki… what the fuck now? What about the kid? Where’s… uh…”

“Bobby. Your son’s name is Bobby. What, you think he watched me fuck you? Are you ? He came back right after you passed out, and then he went and spent last night with his friend down the road. I didn’t do you the first time until he was already gone. Give me some credit, you fucking moron.”

“The first time? How many?”

“I don’t know. Four? Five? It was right there, you know? If there was ever one thing I could count on from you it was that your dick was always ready to go a few extra rounds. I wanted the video to be perfect, so your new whore can't claim it isn't your dick all up in me.”

“Wait, hold on… you said… uh… shit…”

“BOBBY.”

“Bobby, right. You said Bobby spent LAST night somewhere else?”

“Yeah. It’s Monday. You were out for a while.”

Loverboy shoots to his feet, grabbing at the coffee table to regain his balance after the sudden movement sends him into a fit of vertigo.

“WHAT?!?!”

“Vinnie, relax, trust me, you needed the rest.”

“Are you fucking stupid, Nikki? I needed to be out of here! I have a match in SEATTLE, and that shit is TONIGHT, dude! It’s important!”

“More important than your son? It’s not even a pay per view!”

“More important than getting date raped like a college coed by my psychotic cunt of an undead ex-girlfriend! FUCK!”

Loverboy pats himself down, finding the right pocket to pull his cell phone from. Yanking the phone from his jeans pocket, he quickly slides the lock bar over and swipes his way through his contacts, finding the listing he needs under ‘K.’

“KIRK! Dude, it’s me… whoa, dude, relax, I know, okay? I’m fucking late, I get it. I got a problem, man. What? No, it’s not dick related.”

Loverboy looks down, then back up at Nikki, who covers her mouth and quietly laughs.

“Okay, I guess it’s sort of dick related. But dude, it’s really not what you think, okay? You just need to get the match moved to later in the card, I swear to fucking god I’ll get there. I just need to rebook a flight and I’ll be on my way, man. I’ll cover the airfare myself, fuck it. Deal?”

Loverboy looks anxiously around the room as he silently listens to Kirk MacClay on the other end of his phone call. Finally, he lights up and grins.

“Yes! Thank you, dude, you will NOT regret it. No more surprises…”

The door to the apartment swings open and young Bobby walks in, dragging a skateboard and disappearing into the back bedroom. A moment later, he returns with a suitcase and stands next to Loverboy.

“This is gonna be so cool.”

Loverboy’s eyes widen again, staring at the evilly-grinning Nikki, who stares back at him with her arms folded and an eyebrow raised.

“… I swear. No more surprises.”




Monday Night – Seattle

Somehow, some way, “Loverboy” Vinnie Lane managed to get to the Key Arena just before bell time of the main event. He changed into his gear and rushed out of his locker room in time to find Kirk and the Underground getting ready to enter the ringside area, looking away from all of the judging stares of his teammates.

The match went well…

Maverick is thrown outside by Lane. Lane begins pulling out steel chairs from under the ring and begins smashing them across the head of Maverick. Shot after shot after shot! Maverick is now oozing blood from his temple and is taking the punishment. ‘Loverboy’ picks up Maverick and hits the Heartbreaker! The variation Styles Clash sends Maverick’s face into the mat. He goes for the pinfall, but Maverick powers out. Lane looks shocked as Maverick begins getting up and getting fired up. The two men begin throwing more haymakers back and forth before Lane catches him with a Rocket Dropper. Lane lifts up Maverick and sets him on the table set-up earlier. He climbs onto the apron and Frodo sees this.

Frodo rushes across the ring to stop Lane again, but Lane turns to see and brings Frodo down across the ropes with a Stunner! Frodo rests along the rope as Lane wraps an arm and lifts Frodo straight up! Lane falls backwards hitting a suplex sending all three men through the table outside! Lane rolls an arm across Frodo! A referee gets into position!

1…












2….











NO! Frodo kicks out!

Lane stumbles to his feet and pushes the top part of the stairs away. But he’s slowly followed by Maverick! Maverick looks pissed! He rushes towards Lane who nails a superkick on Maverick! Maverick is out on his feet! Lane picks up Maverick and… and…


BAM!


BLACK. LABEL. DRIVER!

Maverick’s head collides with the steel and he’s not moving. Lane lays across him on the stairs. The referee begins counting!

1….












2…















THREE!

Justin Roberts: The winners of this match are… ‘LOVERBOY’ VINNIE LANE, ‘THE AERIAL KNIGHT’ JOHNATHAN HEARTSFORD, TJ WALLACE, AND XAVIER SWANN… TEAM MACCLAYYYYYYYYYY!

Kirk rushes to the side of ‘Loverboy’ and raises his hand! He brings him into the ring and the team slowly gets up together. They raise their hands as Benjamin Fieldler enters the ring with champagne and glasses! Kirk kicks Benjamin away and pops the cork as they all laugh.

After the show, TJ Wallace helps the exhausted Loverboy regain his composure and steadies him as they walk to the back with arms raised.

Several minutes later, Loverboy is leaning against a hallway wall backstage, pouring the contents of a bottle of water over his head and plastering his flaxen hair against his forehead and face. With his eyes closed and his mouth open, for a moment it feels like he’s drowning…

“Yo, Vinnie!”

“Wha?”

Loverboy opens his eyes just in time to get a gym towel tossed into his face. He wipes himself dry and drops the towel, then sees the smiling face of his friend and partner, TJ Wallace, standing in front of him freshly showered and dressed.

“Good show out there tonight, my nigga. You gonna be the MVP for sure after busting Maverick’s ugly ass head open like that.”

“Thanks dude, you did awesome too.”

“Yeah man, thanks. Yo, though, I was just passing by your dressing room, bruh, and I seen that Roxy was in there… you think she might want another look at this BBC?”

Suddenly, violently, Loverboy grabs Wallace by the neck of his shirt in both fists. With a fury he slams the stunned negro back and into a stack of locker with a resounding bang. Other wrestlers jog up to the scene.

“Listen to me, TJ… you stay the hell away from my locker room!”

“Whoa, dog, what the fuck wrong with you?”

“You understand me, Wallace? Huh?”

Loverboy shoves TJ into the lockers again, and Wallace starts to get angry.

“Yo man, you better get your pretty hands off of me, bruh, or I’m gonna go motherfuckin’ HAM all up on your shitfalcon ass! Ain’t my fault your bitch is a ho!”

“Fuck you!”

Loverboy rears his first back, but Kirk MacClay runs up to him and grabs him by the arm, pulling him away from Wallace. Johnathan Heartsford holds TJ back as MacClay shoves Loverboy away from the lockers.

“Vinnie, what in the name of Shane ’s asparagus are you doing? TJ and you are PARTNERS.”

“Fuck him.”

“Yeah, fuck you too, sweet boy.”

“What is the issue, Vinnie? Spill it! You almost missed the match, and now you’re back here about to throw hands with your own Underground brother?”

“He’s not my brother, dude, he’s just an asshole talking shit about a KID in my dressing room. I ought to have his ass locked up for being a pedo! And I may have been late, Kirk, but I WON this god damn match for you, so the way I see it is you owe me. You put this fucking group together with the dudes I recommended after promising me you’d get me a title shot, and now I had to win control of Madness for you first? And get voted MVP? Just to go into a fourway match and MAYBE win that title shot you swore I’d get?”

“Vinnie, Vinnie, relax…”

“You punk ass, what kid, man? You got some long haired bitch asleep and waiting for more of me is what you got!”

Loverboy lunges forward again, but Kirk somehow manages to keep him back long enough for Heartsford to shuffle Wallace off towards the dressing rooms.

“Vinnie… if you have a girl back there it’s fine! What’s the big deal? You know Wallace is just fucking around.”

“Kirk, dude… I’m gonna tell you a few things right now that you probably don’t want to hear. First of all, you’re fucking welcome for being the big cheese on Madness now. I told you I didn’t want to have to deal with Frodo’s bullshit ever again, but I did it for you. You better keep your end of the bargain, man. Second of all? I’m getting voted into that fourway at Turning Point – you better make sure of it. And you know what else? I hope TJ beats the fucking PISS out of Maverick on Warfare this week, and that he has to be in the ring with me after what he fucking said. That’s not a girl in there, man.”

Kirk looks puzzled and exasperated, throwing his hands up in the air as he steps back from the flustered rock n’ roll megastar.

“Well who is it then, Vinnie?”

“Kirk… it’s my fucking son.”




A little later

“Loverboy” Vinnie Lane finally makes his way back to his locker room after an emergency meeting between the members of the Underground.

Wallace and Loverboy have smoothed things over and bro-hugged it out… for now.

Eventually, Loverboy gathers all of his things together and is ready to leave the Key Arena, but first he has the unpleasant task of waking up the snoring kid lying across the bench attached to the floor of the room.

Loverboy shakes Bobby until his eyes pop open.

“SHIT!”

“Fuck, kid, watch your mouth, dude!”

“Sorry, man. Or dad. Whatever.”

“Yeah, Vinnie’s cool for now, little dude. It’s time to go… home?”

The reticence in Loverboy's voice is nearly palpable.

“I’m not moving in with you, relax.”

“Oh thank fuck.”

“Hey!”

“What? I mean, not like that, dude, just… you know… I have a certain lifestyle.”

“Does that lifestyle include an Xbox One?”

“What do I look like, a ? Of course I have an Xbox One!”

“Well, everything will be fine then. You just do your thing, I’ll do mine, and in a few days I’ll go back to Tampa. You buy the ticket. First class, of course. Then you start giving mom money.”

“Damn, kid, you’re in on the extortion shit too?”

“Well, mom said the money was for me, so, yeah. I need to get some new amps and pickups for my guitar, you know? You’re on TV, you should pay your child support!”

“I didn’t even know about you!”

“Yeah, sure, they all say that…”

“What?”

“Nothing, forget it.”

Loverboy turns and opens the door as Bobby grabs his ipod and his hoodie. As the kid walks swiftly out of the dressing room, Loverboy notices a piece of paper taped to the outside of the door and pulls it off. Instead of some floozie’s phone number he sees…




“This place is full of weirdos.”


He shuts the lights off and closes the door as he leaves.