FRIDAY - 10AM..

Sharp. Crisp. Elegant.

Just a few of the words you could use to describe the tailored, black Armani suit being sported by the Reflection of Perfection himself, Xavier Swann. He sits on a black leather sofa, flanked by his ever stunning personal assistant, Sarah Myers, and his grossly overweight personal security guard – for lack of a better term – Stan. Opposite the trio sits Steve Sayors, the XWFs lead interviewer, dressed in a cheap blue suit that most likely reeks of stale beer and semen. Xavier leans over and whispers something in Sarah's ear. She reaches into her clutch and retrieves a pocket mirror, before holding it out in front of Swann. He moves his head around and strokes his jawline, checking himself out from all angles. He waves it away and Sarah returns it to her clutch. Steve Sayors clears his throat and Xavier turns his attention to him.

Steve Sayors: “Xavier, thank you for joining me here today fo..”

Xavier Swann: “Pleasure is all yours, Albert.”

Steve Sayors: “Actually, it's Steve.”

Xavier Swann: “Whatever, close enough.”

Steve Sayors: “Uhm, actually, it's not close at al..”

Xavier Swann: “Would you just get on with your damn interview, Sayo? I am a busy man damnit, I have time constraints!”

Sayors sighs and shakes his head.

Steve Sayors: “Of course. Now, obviously this week you have a big match forthcoming between The Underground and the members of Team Tigress, but before we get to that, I just want to touch on your involvement with Kirk MacClay and the Underground. We haven't really heard from you since. How did this come about?”

Xavier Swann: “Well, I guess that's the million dollar question, isn't it Sayors? Why would Xavier Swann, a man who is obviously destined for the top rung on the ladder, join forces with the likes of Vinnie Lane, TJ Wallace and Jonathan Hearth... whatever his name is. Why? I'll tell you why.. because they need me. You see, a few weeks ago when I made my debut by defeating TJ Wallace and Jet Frost in what was pretty much a handicap match, I caught the attention of quite a few people. As if my stocks couldn't rise any higher, they damn near went through that glass ceiling every last person in America is banging on about. One of the people who stood up and took notice, was the General Manager of Monday Night Madness, Kirkus MacClay. He approaches me with an idea, right? A vision.. his vision. At first, I had no interest in what he had to say.. he was going on and on about this thing called The Underground and how it would change the wrestling landscape forever.. I dunno, I kind of switched off half way through. But then he told me that he needed someone to lead.. someone to take his new band of misfits and turn them into and all out war machine! And my ears pricked up, because I knew what he was asking. There was only one man for such a job, one man capable enough.. perfect enough.. to see to it that success was not an option, but rather, a foregone conclusion. Thus, The Underground was born.”

Sayors doesn't respond for a moment, instead considering Swann with his left eyebrow raised.

Steve Sayors: “I'm sorry Xavier, are you actually trying to say that you are the Leader of the Underground?”

Swann leans back slightly, a look of utter shock on his face, clearly offended.

Xavier Swann: “What do you mean, am I trying to say it? Did I stutter? Of course I am the damn leader! What, you think Kirkus is stupid enough to put someone like Osama Bin Wallace in charge?”

Steve Sayors: “Well, no offence, but I would say that if anyone is the leader of The Underground, then surely it would be Vinni..”

Xavier Swann: “Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold on there, biscuit, I see what you are trying to do here. You're trying to stir the pot between me and my men, but I can assure you, you are wasting your time. My team adores me, as well they should. I offer them the chance to walk in my spotlight, and in return, I ask only that they appreciate everything that I do for them. Trust me, by the time Madness rolls around, you will know EXACTLY why Xavier Swann was the clear cut pick to be the star at the top of the Christmas tree.”

Stan cracks a huge grin, his horrible, toothless smile on full display. Swann notices out of the corner of his eye and looks repulsed, whipping his right arm across into the chest of Stan, causing him to stop grinning instantly.

Steve Sayors: “Well, speaking of Madness this week, you and the other members of the Underground will take on Frodo Smackins, Luca Arzegotti, Maverick an...”

Xavier Swann: “I am well aware of our opponents you imbecile! What, you think I don't pay attention and scout for my own matches? Well, I don't. Sarah does. That's why I pay her. Perhaps a little too much, though I am sure one day she will earn it.”

Swann smirks to himself as Sarah looks over at him momentarily before rolling her eyes.

Xavier Swann: “The thing is, I've already sat back and watched that pug-faced garden gnome, Fraudo, run his mouth about thirty six times this week. He should have done the world a favour and actually followed through with his plan to kill himself, because as it stands now, he's going to fail to come through on something twice in one week. And as for Joe Tuesday, I don't even know where this Tim the Tool Man Taylor wannabe came from, but...”

Steve Sayors: “Uhm, actually, sorry to interrupt Xavier.. but Joe Tuesday isn't even in this match. It was announced earlier this week that he will be replaced. I thought you would have known that, given that you are so prepared for your matches..”

Swann casts Sarah a scathing look, before turning his attention back to Sayors.

Xavier Swann: “What?! By who?!”

Steve Sayors: “LH Harrison.”

Swann narrows his eyes, a look of confusion etched across his perfect features.

Xavier Swann: “Who?”

Steve Sayors: “LH Harrison. You know, the guy..”

Swann holds a hand up to cut Sayors short. Sarah is flipping through page after page on her clipboard, frantically. Eventually she stops on a page containing the profile of Harrison. She holds it in front of Xavier for him to read, and after a few seconds he lets out a disbelieving chuckle.

Xavier Swann: “This guy? Are you kidding me? Didn't this guy die last year?”

Swann runs his finger down the page, reading. He stops and begins tapping the clipboard.

Xavier Swann: “October 3rd, 2014. So he's a ghost? Joe Tuesday was replaced with a ghost? Oh this place is just unbelievable! It matters little, from what is it says here, he was about as useful in the ring as tits on a bull anyway, so he should prove to be of little consequence. Then there's that dirty Mexican, what's his name?”

Myers flips through her pages once more and then holds it in front of Xavier Swann. He reads the name at the top of the page slowly.

Xavier Swann: “Luca.. Miguel.. Carlos.. Pablo.. Jose.. Juan-Claude.. Arzegotti. Wow, that was a mouthful, which is ironic really.. It's not every day you get to meet somebody who's name is more of a mouthful than their manhood! Here's a guy who comes into this match with reputation for delivering in big matches, but here's the thing Luca needs to understand, Sayo. Reputations mean nothing to the Sultan of Style! At Madness, he needs not concern himself with the likes of TJ Wallace, the Aerial Knight or even Vincent Lane. Oh, no no no. Luca is mine. I will show him first hand, that no matter how good you are, you just can't beat perfect. Now, is that all?”

Steve Sayors: “Well, I think you're forgetting about someone here. What about the “Avatar of Perfection”, Maverick?”

Xavier Swann: “Wait, Maverick is in this match too?”

Steve Sayors: “He certainly is.”

Xavier Swann: “Well good god, Sayo, what on earth was Miranda Tigress thinking?! That slimy, greased up, over-bearing Gollum wannabe is the last person you would want fighting for your job! Hell, Maverick probably won't even show up! God knows he's gone into hiding since I revealed once and for all what a fraud he is! The second the REAL Prince Perfect showed up around here, Maverick went missing. He's AWOL, kid, and I for one don't blame him. He has seen what I have done to Jet Frost, a man who word has it, is good friends with Maverick – twice. That shaft-jockey doesn't want to be on the receiving end of a beat down like the one I gave Frost! I guess Tigress really dropped the ball on this one, because she's left herself one man short. Haha. Honestly.”

Sayors goes to respond, but Xavier holds up a hand to stop him once more.

Xavier Swann: “A midget, a zombie and a Mexican walk into a bar.. sounds like the start of a really bad joke, doesn't it? Fact is, Sayo, that this Monday night they will be just that – a joke. Except, they won't be walking into a bar, they will be walking into a massacre. When it's all said and done, The Underground will deliver the punchline.. but I guarantee you, Team Tigress will have nothing to smile about.”

Xavier Swann leans back and smirks wickedly as the scene fades to black.


LATER THAT DAY..


Xavier paces back and fourth along his plush white carpet, hands behind his back, thinking. Steve Sayors has long since gone and Swann is left with Myers and Stan for company. After a few moments, he turns to Sarah.

Xavier Swann: “Did you set up the meeting with the team?”

Sarah Myers: “I did. They should all be here at around seven thirty.”

Xavier Swann: “Good.. Good. And you?'

He rounds on Stan, who jumps slightly.

Xavier Swann: “Did you pick up the package I sent you for?”

Stan nods his head, happily.

Stan: “Yeh.. got the pack'ge. Its downstayers”

Xavier Swann: “Well, don't just sit there you grotesque lump! Go and get it, I want to see it!”

Stan struggles for about five seconds, trying to pull himself up of the couch, while Xavier stares at him in disbelief. Eventually, he succeeds, as waddles out of the room. Swann just shakes his head, before turning back to Sarah.

Xavier Swann: “What about Team Tigress? Any word from those muppets this week?”

Sarah Myers: “Actually, yes. I've downloaded all the videos for you to take a quick look at.”

Xavier Swann: “Oh Sarah, you have no idea how nice it is for me to know that finally, you are doing your job right. Let me see them.”

Sarah frowns, but walks over to the coffee table without a word and grabs the remote, switching on the TV and flicking it over to Apple TV. She grabs the iPad from the sofa and spends a moment finding the videos, before playing them, starting with LH Harrison. Xavier takes a seat on the sofa and begins to watch.

Xavier Swann: “Sarah, darling, would you be so kind as to mix me a Back Handed Panther? Remember to crush the ice this time, none of that cube ice rubbish.”

Sarah Myers: “...of course.”

Xavier Swann: “Actually, you know what? I'm feeling generous. Make yourself one, too.”

Sarah Myers: “Really?”

Xavier Swann: “Yes, really. You've done well this week, I think you should relax a bit.”

Sarah rises her eyebrows, before cracking a smile. She sets down her clipboard and makes her way over to the mini bar in the corner. Xavier sits there examining LH Harrison's video promos of the past week. Sarah makes her way over with the two delicious alcoholic beverages, and sits down next to Xavier, handing him one. Swann pauses at the conclusion of LH Harrison's final video, and turns to Sarah.

Xavier Swann: “Looks pretty good for a dead guy, huh?”

Sarah Myers: “I guess.. depends on how you define 'good'.”

Xavier Swann: “Right? The guy is uglier than Ghost Tank's mail order transvestite! Seriously though, how dare he say I mistreat you and Stan! I'm good to you both, right?”

There's a moment of silence where Sarah just stares at her drink. She considers her next words for a moment, before perhaps deciding it's best not to ruin Xavier's momentary generosity, and responding as such.

Sarah Myers: “Of course you are.”

Xavier Swann: “Exactly. Stupid Harrison. Stupid inspirational Harrison! I don't even know the walking corpse and I already hate him!”

Xavier takes a large gulp of his drink, then turns to Sarah.

Xavier Swann: “It's delicious! You learn fast, Sarah.”

Myers leans back and smiles again, satisfied. Xavier hits play on the next video and watches Frodo call out The Underground. A few minutes pass.. quite a few, as it seems that Frodo is about as obsessed with getting his grill on TV as Austin Fernando. Xavier stops it at the end of the last promo.

Xavier Swann: “Seriously? What the hell?! These damn shaft-jockeys are acting like I'm not even a part of this damn match! I am the leader of the Underground, god damn it! What about Luca? And Maverick?!”

Sarah Myers: “Uhm. Well.. Luca basically asked who you were, like you were a nobody. Maverick hasn't even shown his face.”

Xavier looks infuriated as he slams his drink down on the table, causing it to spill everywhere, and leaps to his feet, pacing around the room again. At this point, Stan walks back into the room, puffing and carrying a large box. Swann snatches it off him and sits it on the floor.

Xavier Swann: “You! Get over there!”

Swann points to the couch, beside Sarah. Stan waddles over and sits down. He looks at the half-full glass in front of him.

Stan: “[puff].. can I'ave.. [puff] ..drink?”

Xavier Swann: “You touch my drink and you'll see your testicles for the first time in your pathetic life, when I cut them off and hang them on the wall!”

Stan goes rigid with fear. Myers looks cautious, but she has seen Xavier like this before, and continues to sip away at her Back Handed Panther. Swann walks over to the sliding doors at the side of the room, and opens it, making his way outside onto the balcony. He places his palms on the railing and draws in long, deep breaths, sucking in the crisp fresh air as he tries to calm down. Closing his eyes, he offers himself reassurance.

Xavier Swann: “You're the best. The best. You're perfect. They have no idea, but you'll show them. You'll show them all.”

Nodding in self-reassurance, Xavier straightens himself up, turns around and walks back inside. Stan looks extremely nervous, but Sarah seems fine. Swann walks over to the box and pulls out a large, rolled up poster print.

Xavier Swann: “Sarah, Stan.. come hold this for me, would you?”

The two do as they are asked, Sarah quickly finishing off the remainder of her drink before vacating the sofa. Xavier removes the elastic band from the rolled up paper and hands it to both of them. They unravel it and hold it up facing Swann, who's eyes light up, though we can't see what is on the poster.

Xavier Swann: “It's.. it's..”

Xavier moves forward, running his fingertips along the paper, awestruck.

Xavier Swann: “Perfect.”

The scene fades out with Xavier still examining the banner with stars in his eyes.


LATER THAT EVENING..


As we fade back in, we can see Xavier Swann standing in front of the largest clear space of wall he has, though a large black curtain is covering it. He has a huge grin on his face as he checks his watch. Opposite him, he has assembled his two large black sofas facing the curtain, and the occupants are Underground members – Kirk MacClay, Jonathan Heartsford and TJ Wallace. Sarah Myers and Stan are sitting out on the deck, obviously having been excluded from the gathering. Knock, knock, knock.. Xavier makes his way over to the door, turns the knob, and opens it. Vinnie Lane is standing there, Roxy by his side.

Vinnie Lane: “Sorry dude.. Indian cab drivers, am I right? Oh... sorry, TJ.”

TJ Wallace: “Man, what the fuck? I'm as American as your cracker ass!”

Vinnie Lane: “Whoa, dude, easy on the hostility there partner. Anyway, Xav, I brought Roxy dude – that cool?”

Xavier Swann: “Of course, Vinnie, grab yourselves a seat.”

Xavier motions for them to sit on the sofa with the others, which they do. Lane sits next to Wallace, who shoots him a dark look.. like, angry, you know? Don't be racist. Anyway, Xavier closes the door and stands beside the black curtain, before addressing them all.

Xavier Swann: “Thank you all for coming. Now, as you are all aware, Monday night is a huge night for the Underground. We've been waiting for a night like this, for a chance to prove to the world that we are the new benchmark of this business. As leader of The Underground, I feel that I...”

Kirk MacClay: “Niggasaywhat? You're not the fucking leader, this was my creation!”

Xavier smirks and brushes off Kirk's retort.

Xavier Swann: “Kirkus, please, no disrespect but I think we can all agree that while this was your creation, we need a leader on the field of battle.”

Jonathan Heartsford:: “So, what makes you think you are the leader?”

Xavier Swann: “Jonathan, I think it's fair to say that while I have been here for the least amount of time, I am quite clearly the most obvious choice..”

All of the Underground members look annoyed at Swann's remark. The Aerial Knight goes to respond, but Xavier cuts him off.

Xavier Swann: “Anyway, that's not important. What is important is the fact that there is one huge difference between The Underground and Team Tigress. While they may call themselves a team, we are one hundred percent a well-oiled machine. Here's the thing.. last night, I was watching the Mighty Ducks 2 – great movie, if you haven't seen it – and I thought of something. We all come from different backgrounds, and we each have a story to tell. People say that we were a bunch of misfits who were thrown together, the The Underground would fall as quickly as it rose, but they were wrong. I think it's time we show them just how tight-knit we all are. It's time for us to stand together as one, and if we are going to look like a team, then we had damn sure better look like one. I had a friend of mine make us a little something that I think you're really going to like. It's time for the Underground to become synonymous with success, and to unite, under a new banner.”

Xavier Swann reaches up and rips down the black curtain, revealing:


TJ Wallace: “Ohhhh hell no motherfucker!”

Jonathan Heartsford:: “You're kidding, right? I'm out.”

Vinnie Lane: “Dude, why are we all so small, and you're so big?”

Xavier looks between the banner and his team-mates.

Xavier Swann: “Well, because I am the face of the group. When people think of the Underground, they think of Xavier Swann!”

Kirk MacClay: “Fuck, you better step off. That's bullshit. You are NOT the face of the Underground.”

TJ Wallace: “Yeah nigga, we equal!”

Jonathan Heartsford:: “Yep.”

Vinnie Lane: “He's right, dude.”

Swann looks slightly annoyed as he looks between the poster and his partners once more. Eventually, he settles his gaze on them, and sighs.

Xavier Swann: “Fiiiiine. I thought you guys might react like this, so I had a back up made, just in case. Guys.. let me introduce you to.. The Underground.. two point oh.”

Swann rips the first poster away and the eyes of the Underground members widen.


Jonathan Heartsford:: “Wow.”

TJ Wallace: “Damn. That shit is tight, yo.”

Vinnie Lane: “Shhyeeeaaahhh, dude.”

Xavier Swann: “Kirkus? What do you think?”

Kirk stands up and walks over to the poster, expressionless. He examines it for a moment, before turning back to face the rest of the Underground members, a smile breaking across his face.

Kirk MacClay: “I think it's time we proved once and for all, that we are the Barometer, and that Monday Madness will always belong.. to The Underground!”

The other members, Xavier included, begin to smirk and nod their heads in agreement. Wallace and Knight exchange a fist bump as Swann calls out to Sarah.

Xavier Swann: “Sarah! SARAH! Grab the boys some beers! Lots of them! And a vodka and raspberry for myself, three teaspoons of that crushed ice! We need to celebrate!”

The scene fades out with the members of the Underground looking at Xavier strangely about his request, but it's fair to say, this is one team that is on the same page.


THE NEXT DAY..


As we open up, Xavier Swann is sitting on a black stool, staring down the camera lens. He is dressed in one of his charcoal, fitted Armani suits. He smirks for a moment, before speaking.

Xavier Swann: “Well, well, well. Here we all are, just a day away from Monday Night Madness, where the fate of this very show will be determined by eight men. Well, seven and a half. Fraudo doesn't really count. You know, it's ironic that this past week, Team Tigress have decided to overlook yours truly, as if I wasn't even a part of this match to begin with, when the reality is that I am the biggest threat they will face. I've sat back all week and listened intently to every word of garbage that has come out of the mouths of Fraudo, Origami and that incredulous hypocrite, LH Harrison. It would seem as though Team Tigress is far more concerned with the rest of the Underground, rather than the man who will lead said team to victory, Xavier Swann!

But no matter, I have made a living out of proving people wrong, over and over again and this Monday night will be no different. You god damn shaft jockeys can overlook my all you want, but you do so at your own peril, for I am not overlooking any of you. Harrison, you claim to be the 'Inspirational One', but the fact of the matter is, you are anything but. You have the audacity to come out and say that I am the most overrated member of The Underground? Please. You are talking to a man who in mere months from now will sitting pretty atop the ladder of success, looking down upon the likes of you. I don't call myself the Reflection of Perfection for nothing, you know, it happens to be a harsh reality. I see Jesus is walking around here these days, I'm sure you two have already swapped resurrection stories. Did he also mention the fact that when his daddy created man, this is what he had in mind? Sure, it took him a while, but he got it right in the end.

This Monday, I assure you that it won't take long at all for yours truly to dispose of you, or the rest of Team Tigress for that matter. Oh, that's right, I can't win the big one.. how foolish of me.. or rather, how foolish of you to bring up such a horrendous claim. You do realise, Harrison, that to win the big one, you must be in the big one? Funnily enough, I am yet to have what you would call a 'big match', so how would you know? Luckily enough, I won't have to wait long to set the record straight. You see, this is a big match. It's all on the line.. control of Madness, title shots, an opportunity to become number one contender for the Universal title.. everything. I promise you, when it's all said and done, you will never discredit the likes of Xavier Swann again!”

Xavier pauses for a moment, considering his next target, then continues.

Xavier Swann: “And as for you, Luca Origami.. you don't know who I am? That's about to change. However, I don't know who you are either.. I mean, sure, you have a reputation around here.. but then again, so does Ghost Tank, and look how he's doing. Fact is, Hernandez, reputations mean nothing to me. As far as I am concerned, you are and insignificant little Mexican with a drinking problem, just like seventy five percent of your countries population. What, you think giving yourself sixty fives names makes you relevant? Too much tequila, not enough salt and lemon, my friend. Picasso, now there was a great man with a bad ass name. You think your name is cool? How about, Pablo Diego José Francisco de Paula Juan Nepomuceno María de los Remedios Cipriano de la Santísima Trinidad Ruiz y Picasso? Oh yeah dude, your name actually sucks harder than Fraudo after three beers on a Saturday night.

Thing is, Picasso didn't just have the bad ass name.. he had the talent to go along with it, something I am almost certain you are unfamilia – see what I did there? - with. I'm not really sure why you damn shaft-jockeys are so keen to see Tigress back in power anyway.. is it the title shots? Because god knows that even if you did win and get those title shots, you would blow them faster than Bree Olsen three minute porno.

Regardless, I have to say Luca, you insulted me.. and nobody insults Xavier Swann. It's high time everybody around here realised just what my name means.. what The Underground's name means. Soon enough, it shall become synonymous with success, and unfortunately that will begin with the demise of you. I sincerely hope you are “four times better” than the last instalment of Luca Origami that you offered up, because you will need to be. Don't worry, I'll make sure they dim the lights before I play your Swann Song.”

Xavier smirks as he reaches off camera and grabs a glass of water, allowing the clear liquid to wet his palate and slide down his throat. He presses on.

Xavier Swann: “I'm not even going to wast my time on that waste of space, Maverick. Damn ass jockey has wasted enough of my time this week. As I have said, the whole perfection charade is up. He understand that there is but one man on this earth who can lay claim to such a thing, and you're looking at him. Instead, let me turn my attention to the most ridiculous human being I have ever had the displeasure of coming across.. Fraudo.

You incredibly inadequate garden gnome, do you have any idea why I call you 'Fraudo'? No, it's not because I don't know your real name, which in itself is rather amusing, given that you are less of a hobbit and more of a sugar plum fairy. No. It's because everything you say is an absolute bunch of bullshit, and everybody knows it. You're a compulsive liar, and an angry little jackass to go along with it. Exactly who do you think you are impressing by dropping the words “” and “fuck” thirsty thousand times a day? The only thing it shows everybody is that you are incredibly incapable of coming up with anything original, whatsoever. You should pay attention, kid, you might actually learn something here today. See how I don't have to resort to expletives to get my point across? It's because I have more intelligence in my eyelashes than you do in that thick skull of yours. Unlike you, I don't need promo filler to make it seem like I've got plenty to say.

You're an absolute joke, and the mere fact that you are even a part of this match takes a bit of the shine off our imminent victory. This was supposed to be my big match, my chance to show the world that when it is all at stake, Xavier Swann has the goods. Now, the only thing I will hear is, 'yeah, but Frodo was on Team Tigress, so it doesn't really count'. You know the sad part? They will be right. I mean, good god, what glory is there in beating the ever-living snot out of a damn midget – sorry – 'little person'?! None, that's what! You want to know if I am in this match for any reason other than to jump start my career? Oh Fraudo, how simple you are. Of course I am in this damn match to jump start my career! I just got here, so naturally I am going to look for the fastest possible route to the top. Unlike you, I am not delusional enough to think that just winning matches every week – something you are rather awful at, by the way – is enough to get me where I want to be in the time I am willing to spend getting there.

You were right about one thing though, I am a lot like Vinnie Lane.. except, as you said, prettier and funnier. Where we are extremely similar though, is that we can both kick your ass! You are looking at the single greatest athlete in the XWF today.. Prince Perfect.. the Reflection of Perfection.. The RULER.. of the UNIVERSE! And to be honest with you, Fraudo, I am not entirely sure why I am still wasting my precious time exchanging words with you, because my men have done enough of that this week. Come Madness, there will be one superpower left standing, one faction with all the power and to soon hold all the gold. Now, you guys aren't really a faction, are you? No, so you do the math, Beiber. For all the trash talk, and all the promises, there is but one fact which is indisputable.. on Monday night, the four men brought together by Kirk MacClay shall rise.. and in one fell swoop, we shall drag Team Tigress.. and the XWF.. to The Underground!”

Swann sneers at the camera, as it fades to black.