Quote:Jill climbs the turnbuckle but staggers for a minute. Ghost Tank is up! He runs up the ropes and goes for the hurricanrana! BUT NO! Jill keeps him sitting upright and hits a SUPER POWERBOMB! Jill is exhausted from that move and just barely slumps her body over his.

You see, Simon? I did that to a man who weighs 201 pounds more than me. Yet I was able to use Ghost Tank's momentum against him and I was able to capitalize on that, enabling me to perform that maneuver. Of course, that's not the only way I can eliminate you. Throughout professional wrestling history we've seen the smaller guys use other impressive ways to send their bigger opponents over the top rope without having to necessarily lift them up and eliminate them. Again, basic research. Clearly that isn't your strong suite, but hey! At least you tried! Come on all and let's give Simon a round of applause for attempting to make me look like the weak link here!

Next up on line is C.C. Hollywood, who is currently undefeated.


And by "undefeated", I mean that he is currently 1-0. Seriously, he just won his debut match and he's already proclaiming himself to be undefeated quicker than Frodo sticking his junk up inside any foreign object he can get his hands on after Caroline rejected his advances one too many times. It's laughable, honestly. Do I even need to say more? Next!


Duncan B. Deadly. How many people have run over your ass already? As a matter of fact, has he even won a match? Who cares anyways? This week will just be a repeat of what we've seen previously where we see him act all tough and shit but then he'll just end up getting his ass kicked. I won't be surprised if he's the first one to get sent flying over the top rope.


Big Joe. Your typical "fee-fi-fo-fum!" gargantuan whose brain and head is so small that a demitasse could be placed on him and be worn as a hat. Hey, anyone remember ??? at all?


.....Yeeeeaaaah..... Joe is going to end up just like him. Matter of fact, the big guy has been quiet all week. Eh, he's probably busy shoving his face with some Twinkies and shit.


Tyroil Smoochie-Wallace. A guy with a lot of passion, charisma and dedication. Who doesn't like people like that?!


Unfortunately, he has yet to win a match. He's been on a devastating losing streak right from the start and being placed in a predicament like this, it doesn't look like this will be his shining, crowning moment. Seriously, what ever happened to all that spark and fire you had, Wallace? You're hot one minute and then poof! The flame just suddenly dies out. I don't know, but Tyroil really needs to get himself together. Otherwise, he isn't going to last here long enough.