*Gator puts the phone back in his pocket as he looks back to the road in front of him. He is behind the wheel of the DeLorean a cigarette hanging from his mouth as he lazily turns the steering wheel. Gator's Television title sits beside him in the passenger's seat, the seat belt over the title. Rodd and Todd are squished in the tiny back seat, pushing and shoving each other*

T: "Gator! Rodd keeps pressing his knees against mine!"

R: "I need the room."

T: "Stick to your own side fat ass!"

R: "You are one to talk bubble butt!"

"Both of you shut the fuck up now! Do you want me to turn this car around!?"

T: "Maybe. We don't know where we're going."

R: "Oui. This is very mysterious Monsieur Gator."

"Mysterious!?"

*Gator exchanges glances with the rear view mirror and the road while talking and taking short breaths of the cigarette*

"How is this mysterious!?"

R: "You told us to get in the car and we have been driving for hours. You have not told us a destination. We have no idea why we are on this road."

"There is nothing mysterious about that."

T: "There is a little."

"Fine. We're going to pay my bestie Sane a visit to drop off this Christmas present and then we're going for ice cream."

T: "Sane!? Where does he live?"

"Philly."

T: "Fuck me. No wonder we've been driving for hours."

"Would have got there faster if you two weren't making my car pop a fucking wheelie."

R: "A fat joke. How quaint."

"Fuck you. We're almost there now anyway."

R: "Gator. Who won the games?"

"You wanna know now?"

R: "Oui."

T: "I do too."

"I haven't checked. Todd, get your phone out and check the site."

*Todd awkwardly gets into his pocket and pulls out his phone and starts to tap on the screen*

T: "... Come on!"

"What?"

T: "Fucking ads are slowing the site down."

"There's ads on the site?"

T: "Just Shane shilling the XWF Network."

"Ha. It is a good deal though."

R: "I agree. Only six six six a month for access to Madness, Warfare, the Shove Its and every PPV."

"I know right? Great deal. The best deal if you ask me."

*That was paid for by the XWF Network. Buy it! Or don't. Todd stares at the screen of his iPhone and laughs*

"Good news I take it?"

T: "I won!"

R: "What!?"

*Rodd looks at the phone for a moment and falls back into his seat depressed*

"No shit. Well done man, knew you could do it."

T: "Thanks!"

*Todd goes back to his phone*

R: "Er. Hello?"

"Oh yeah, tough break Rodd. I really thought you could do it."

T: "Whu?"

"What?"

T: "You were rooting for the both of us?"

"I wouldn't say that. That would imply I cared who won. I still get a cameraman by the end of the day."

T: "So after months of me being your cameraman, you would have been happy being stuck with Rodd?"

"I wouldn't say happy. I would have tolerated it."

R: "Hey!"

"Oh shut up loser."

R: "... So what happens to me now? I'm fired?"

"Er. Yeah, I guess."

R: "Great."

"Don't be glum chum. I'll put in a good word for you, get you a new job."

R: "... Well. Thank you Gator. Very nice of you."

"I'm a nice guy. Probably the nicest guy I know."

T: ".... The word of the day is travail today."

"What? Todd, stop playing that fucking hangman game!"

*Todd looks up from his phone as Gator flicks the his cigarette out of the window and rolls it up*

T: "It's fun!"

"We are having a lovely family road trip and you're just sitting on your phone like a fucking teenage girl!"

T: "Eurgh. Fine!"

*Todd puts his phone away and gets all pouty. A minute of silence goes by*

R: ".... One hundred bottle of beer on the wall, one hundred bottles of beer! Take one down pass it around, ninety nine bottles of beer on the wall~"
T: "........................... One hundred bottles of beer! Take one down pass it around, ninety nine bottles of beer on the wall~"
"................................................... Of beer! Take one down pass it around, ninety nine bottles of beer on the wall~"

*The scene fades to black*

*We fade into the DeLorean pulling over in front of a nice, large home. The three idiots finally finishing there song*

R: ".. Take one down pass it around zero bottles of beer on the wall!"
T: ".. Take one down pass it around zero bottles of beer on the wall!"
".. Take one down pass it around zero bottles of beer on the wall!"

*Gator puts on the brake and taps on his phone for a second before grabbing his belt and stepping out of the driver side door. He walks out onto the street and leans back to crack his back and stretches his limbs. Rodd and Todd fall out of the DeLorean onto the sidewalk, they push each other out of the way and get to their feet. Gator shaking his head as he walks around the car and down the path to the house. The three men stand their and Gator knocks loudly on the door. A lot. Sane whips the door open*

"SANEY BABY!"

*Gator wraps a tight hug around Sane and lifts him off his feet. Sane gets a hand free and pats Gator's shoulder*

"Gator. Always a pleasure."

*Gator puts Sane back on his feet and smiles under his mask*

"Todd. Rodd."

T: "Sup."

R: "Bonjour."

"Mind if we come in?"

"Oh, yeah sure. Come in."

*Gator steps in and Rodd and Todd follow behind. Gator looks back at his cameramen*

"You two. Best behavior!"

*Rodd and Todd roll their eyes and stand in the hallway as Gator follows Sane into the living room, where Michelle is sitting on the couch, teary eyed watching the credits of a movie*

"Babe. Gator is here."

"Hello."

"Hey Michelle."

*Gator raises a hand in a short wave. Sane digs Gator in the arm, pretty hard but Gator doesn't let the pain show*

"You want a beer?"

"I'm driving."

"... You want a beer?"

"Duh. As long as it's not any of that Yank piss."

"Of course. Take a seat. You want anything Michelle?"

*Michelle dries her eyes with a tissue as she smiles at Justin*

"I'm okay thank you."

*Sane smiles back and throws an arm towards the couch for Gator to take a seat. Sane walks into the kitchen and Gator takes a seat on the couch, leaving space for Sane*

"Sorry if I'm interrupting anything here bee tee dub."

"Oh no don't worry about it. Me and Justin were just watching a movie."

"What film?"

"The Lake House."

"Oh god. Poor Sane."

"Shut up, it's a beautiful movie. Justin liked it."

"WHAT!? Oh he is never going to hear the end of this ahahaha."

*Sane walks in holding two opened bottles of Fosters, passing one to Gator and taking a seat next to Michelle*

"Hear the end of what?"

*The two men take a swig of beer and Gator starts to chuckles*

"That you love the Lake House."

*Sane pauses with a mouthful of beer staring blankly at Gator and turning around to Michelle while swallowing the beer*

"Why?"

*Michelle giggles and Sane shakes his head*

"So, Gator. How are you man?"

"On top of the world dude. Got my belt back, gonna beat the shit out of one of my best friends. Life is good."

"Yeah. Things are looking up for Defiance so far."

"True that. Where's corVus?"

"The hell should I know?"

"I dunno. Just weird not having him stare intently at me."

"Haha what!?"

"You know what I mean. It's like having an old dog in the house. Doesn't do much but your happy it's there."

"... Weirdly I do know what you mean."

*Both men take long drinks of beer as they look at the TV again, Michelle changing the channel*

"Oh right, your Christmas present. Rodd!"

*Rodd waddles his way into the room and stands awkwardly looking at the three people on the couch*

R: "Oui?"

"Rodd. Meet your new parents."

"WHAT!? "WHAT!?" R: "What!?"

"HA! That was cool. But Sane, this is your Christmas present."

*Gator takes another swig as Sane looks awe struck*

"You're gifting me a fat Frenchman?"

*gulp* "French-Canadian. Don't be racist."

"But-"

"No buts! It's the least I can do for that lovely meal your family made me."

R: "Do I get a say in this?"

Hahaha no."

*Gator downs the rest of the beer as the other three seem speechless. Gator gets to his feet and starts to walk out the living room, Sane and Rodd follow*

"Gator! I'm not taking your fucking cameraman!"

"That's not nice. I put a lot of thought into this gift."

*Gator and a smiling Todd get to the front door. Sane stood next to Rodd in the hall*

"But I don't really need a cameraman."

"Return it for store credit or something then. I don't care. See ya Sane. Bye Michelle!!"

bye
"Gator this is in..."

"Haha go on."

"This is just insane..."

"Fuck yeah! See! I know you so well. Who else would get you a gift this insane!?"

*Sane stands there with his mouth agape a little before shaking his head and making a short laughter*

R: "Gator."

"No! Go on now Rodd! Go home. We never loved you anyway! *fake sob* Go on! Get out of here you dumb animal!"

*Todd tries to hold back laughter as he opens the front door to leave but he stops in the doorway and fall over with a scream. Everyone in the hall looks out the door to see the source of Todd's panic*

"corVus!"

"The fuck are you doing here?"

*corVus stares blankly at the men. The crow cawws on his shoulder, Gator chuckles and nods knowingly*

"Happy new year to you too man!"

*The scene fades to black*


"Ah it's nice to have things back to normal right Todd?"

T: "Too right my friend."

"Question though. Why didn't you tell me you hung out with Vinnie?"

T: "... I thought you would be mad."

"Nah of course not man. You're your own man. What the fuck was the Canada thing about?"

T: "I don't know! You were right! Vinnie's full of conspiracy stories."

"I think Vinnie thinks that just because one city is larger than the other means that only people from that city must be strictly French-Canadian. You're not French right Todd?"

T: "I may have some French blood in me down the line but I've been raised to speak French or anything. Rodd is old school French-Canadian though."

"Vinnie is a fucking nut. Don't worry about him. He doesn't realise that people can be born somewhere and have different backgrounds and shit. Because he's a fucking moron. Whoops. Sorry Lane. Didn't mean to insult you, you know after you fucking insulted me. Hate to be childish here but you fucking started this shit. I'm just the one who has to show you up all the time and prove you wrong like the fucking dense you are. Like I said man, this week, we are not friends. If you can't put personal feelings to one side, that is your own fucking problem. Don't try and play the fucking victim when you're the piece of shit that wanted this in the first place. It's like a chick wanted to have sex and crying about how she got raped the day later. That is seriously what it feels like to me right now. Like I'm being accused of rape by a lying whore."

"But. I digress. I called you skinny twice. I think. Sorry if that upset you. But you are pretty skinny. Frodo is a fucking liar calling you fat, me going after you for calling you a woman or transgender is just fucking idiotic. It doesn't take away anything from your wrestling ability but you being skinny. That means you're not as strong as me, or at least you look like you're not. Sure your fast and you can take a fucking hit, but when it comes down to the wire, you ain't gonna be able to lift me when you're out of stamina, me on the other hand, it will be like fucking around with a paper bag in the wind. That's all I meant. See what I mean now man? Oh, glad you liked my promo by the way. It weirdly means a lot coming from you."

"See! I can still be civil with you dude. It's just when you pull stupid shit like this and before I get pissed off with you. Like when you say shit like wearing a mask to hide my identity. Do I really have to explain this again!? Really? Fuck. I wear a mask because a mask doesn't show a person, it shows me. The real me.The fighter, the entertainer. It doesn't show a man. It shows a wrestler. That's all. Secret identities are cool and all but I want to be known for my ability. not recognised for my face and shit. And you are not the hero of this story, take it from a dude who wears a superhero costume. Your just another cunt in the way, a faceless henchman for me, the hero, to beat down and look good doing it."

"... Did you just lie about American geography? What the flying fuck are you doing!? I know at least forty states. Wait, what the fuck does this have to do with anything? Do I need to get up a map of England and let you write the names of all the counties to show how fucking stupid you look now? Because apparently that's what this fucking week has degraded to. No more shit talking about in ring ability and achievements. Nope. Instead the winner will be decided by who can name the most countries in the fucking UN. Fuck man. Just what? I - I don't even know. You are truly unbelievable."

Loverboy Said:Gator was my boy. Then, just because we had a match a few months back – a match I won, by the way – he started trashing me.

"I hate to sound like a fucking child again but you started this bullshit with me. Anyone can check which order the promos went up in. Pretty sure I'm in the right here. But again, Loverboy Vinnie Lane trying to twist shit in his favour, make it seem like he's the fucking victim instead of the cunt that started all this mess."

Loverboy Said:Barbra Streisand wannabe

"Haha. I'm pretty sure I called you that to your face before. Take a joke man. It's all in good fun, just a bit of banter. I thought you were more relaxed than that. Ah, here we go. Mister he attacked my character, my essence going after me because he legit thinks I don't do fan meet and greets and all that shit.Mister he attacked my character, my essence saying I don't care about wrestling, I don't care about my title.... What the fuck is this bullshit coming out of your mouth. At least what I said was true you fucking asshole, you are going soft. And you complain and you whine about me calling you on that shit, and what the fuck do you do? You go ahead and go back on your word. You said you wouldn't degrade yourself by coming down to my level, and what do you fucking know. We got you taking a shot at my character, my essence because I did it first. You left J-Pro because I did it first. You're even trying to take my cameraman because I had him first. Face it Vinnie, you're a fucking shadow. You are nothing anymore but a fucking leech."

"Don't you dare for a fucking minute say I don't care about my fans. You're the one who wishes he was the guy everybody came to see instead of being the only guy that was available. I'm sorry for not cutting a ribbon at some fucking mall in bumblefuck Tennessee because I actually work to make myself better and I actually do my fucking job you piece of shit."

Loverboy Said: Gator has angina!

"..... Ha. Yeah. Yes I do. And you go ahead and make a joke about a serious medical condition too. Well done scumbag. Wanna go to the cancer wing at a kid's hospital later and start talking about how great cigarettes taste when your old enough? Funny thing is though. I got this shit wrong with me and I'm still in amazing shape. Somehow. And unlike you, I'm not going on a downhill slope, I'm getting better and better. That's fucking funny isn't it? Oh, and I made the Angina vagina joke on the day I was told I had it, think of your own fucking material for once man. Jesus. It's becoming embarrassing."

"I really wish you would think before you speak. I had the nerve to trash Roxy. Again, I told the truth, she tries to cheat on you all the time dude. I'm just looking out for a good friend is all. And again, playing the fucking victim, holding that rape card high above your head and waving it around like it's the last slice of pizza at a stoner party. You trashed Scarlett first. So, shut the fuck up. Please. Just shut the fuck up. You are making me hate you more and more every time you say dumb shit like this, and I like you as a friend and I want to continue this friendship after this match is over. But right now I feel like I'm hanging out with Ralph Wiggum out of pity.... The JFK is a pretty good position, not my favourite though. Reverse cowgirl. You ever heard of Peter Panning? It's when you do a running leap into a girl. There's a chance you'd break your dick but it be worth it if you nail the landing. No pun intended."

"So, that's it. You lied a lot as usual. Made yourself look weaker somehow and I actually feel bad for you. I asked you too show me a real fight and right now, you are doing fuck all. It's sad man. Really. So, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and just fucking try to put up a decent fight, for both of our sakes. Peace!"