Who the fuck is that?

The raven-haired older gentleman stalks quickly down the hill approaching the hut. As he enters the garden, the speed of the man catches the attention of Buckbeak who raises to its’ talons and feet. It bellows at the man who turns and stares directly into the eyes of Buckbeak. Even Hysteria, who knows absolutely nothing of Hippogriffs or the other creatures in this world, knows that this isn’t advisable. The monster seems to go berserk! It charges at the pale-skinned man who raises a wand from his pocket and aims it at the creature. A wave slices through the air sending the Hippogriff back onto the ground writhing in pain! Snape stands over the creature for a moment before gracefully turning and entering the hut.

That is Severus Snape.

Hysteria rocks back on the balls of his feet and looks bored. Snape and Hagrid were inside the hut and the three of them were just standing outside fiddling.

You know… perhaps I shouldn’t WASTE this time that I’ve been given. I do have an essential match-up this week. For MY belt!

For instance, the first VICTIM to open their mouth was that Austin Fernando kid. Mr. Bored Rich Kid. We get it! You’re boring as shit, kid. You think you’re wading into the water by going up against me?! BAHAMAHA! You’ve just jumped into the deep end with a cinder block tied to your foot! You’re sinking to the bottom of the pool… reaching out and trying to gasp for air! Only to realize that the cinder block dragging you down to the depths isn’t one of your competitors, but your own over-confidence! The very edge you think you have will ultimately prove to be your downfall as I knock you into unconsciousness whilst laughing at the lifeless corpse before me.

You said that the pain I encounter will turn into a giant ball that will KILL ME IN A HEARTBEAT?!!? HAHA! You must be one of the most blind-fools I’ve ever encountered. This PAIN that I feel? It’s fuel. It pumps through these veins and pumps through this heart. That heart break fuelled me. It’s partially what made me into who I am today! The unadulterated brutality that was unleashed on my beloved created the demeanor that you see before you. But be naïve. Believe that this pain is going to be the end of me. Oh WAIT. You actually said that you were going to save me from that fate, right?! How sweet!

Pitiful? Insecure? Fragile?! You’ve had your entire life handed to you on a silver platter, and you have the audacity to claim that I’m fragile? You probably were homeschooled and sucked on your mother’s tit until you were fourteen as well you little insignificant twat. I’m not sure where you ever saw that I was insecure. Sure I couldn’t save my beloved whilst I was being attacked from behind by three men. But NEVER did I even slightly doubt myself. You see, people like me, take their lumps and do what they must: Evolve. But you? You said it yourself, you’re never questioned. As a result, you have not even the slightest clue how to lead a goddamn thing. You can’t make everyone happy all the times. Oh, but maybe you’re one of those leaders that lays down and lets people walk all over you. You’re right! No one questions you! Because they all know you’re a little bitch that doesn’t warrant respect. They do whatever the fuck they want and you’re not questioned. You’re flat out ignored. Which it’s easy to understand why. Your droning goes on and on and is dull enough to make anyone want to tune you the fuck out.

As for saving myself… I’ve proven it before. I can win when it matters most! Can you? I suppose time will tell, but I’m more concerned with the next name on the list…

OCKoopa! Bahahamahaha!

But I like you kid! I like your spunk. YOUR HEART! In fact… I like your heart so much, how about I remove it from your chest and watch it beat its final beats as your body fades away… It could be a great way to kick off the New Year! Although I like your moxy, you’re no higher power. You aren’t worthy enough to even be in the same vicinity of him, you insignificant ant!

On the other hand, we have ANOTHER PUNK ASS ROOKIE! Except this one seems to think he knows the answer to everything which is comical considering he admitted that the entire first promo was a lie! Thus far, Kissinger has provided that he knows how to be a compassionate liar! So the real question is can we accept anything that he’s said to be a truth or a fiction. Maybe I should just handle this situation the way Kissinger would! Wave my hands in the air and say that ‘you didn’t see anything’ and expect the others to turn their faces away from it.

Alas, I come to management with this NEWWW and FUNNNN idea! I say we should have an ASYLUM Match! They obviously have NO idea what I mean so I elaborate. Two men start off fighting in the ring surrounded by four pods and a huge chainlink cage. Every Five minutes, a new combatant’s pod opens and they enter the fray. Now the order will be decided at random but oooooh I hope I get #1! So I can kick the sorry asses of every single fucker that gets put in that chamber. You see, it’s Elimination Rules too! So every single person has to be eliminated! That’s right bitches! No cheap wins over me by pinning OCKoopa or Austin Fernando’s sorry ass.

Now Frodo, did you have anything you wanted to add?

They’re all .

Thank you Frodo.

The three continue watching the hut as they await the arrival of Hermione and her friends.

Hysteria laughs in desire to finally obtain a talisman to aid him in redeeming his long-lost lover.

Frodo laughs as he’s thinking of how he’s going to kick the fat man’s ass and pleasure his chubby fat body.

Katie is giggling uncontrollably as she’s about to meet Hermione, Ron, and Harry Potter!