"Go back to Serbia!"


Luca Arzegotti. Ladies and Gentlemen. Trying to explain away the things Luca says and does would be an exercise in futility. So instead John Samuels and John Madison opt to nod in agreement and go back to what they were previously doing. Which was doing shots of Blue Label. Luca is wandering around the living room, his eyes as red as the devils dick. In the kitchen Theo is basting the turkey while wearing a black apron that says "King of Everything" on it in white text. A few feet away is Azrael Erebus who is seated on a bar stool watching his grandson chew on a dog bone. Why does Azrael's grandson have a dog bone? Because it's better than chewing on people's ankles that's why.


"So where is your brother?"

"Brooding in the dungeon of the Compound I'd imagine."

"Did he not want to spend his Thanksgiving with all of these fine folks?" Azrael quips as he looks out into the living room and sees a combination of the Kings and the Black Circle doing their very best to destroy the furnishings of Theo's new home.

"You know Sebastian. He's allergic to fun just like Peter Gilmour is allergic to winning."

"Touche my friend."

"So how is being a grandfather?"

"Wonderful."

"And how is Lila doing?"

"A little sore but no worse for wear."

"Give her my best."

"Are you sure that's what you want?"

"Fair point. I'll leave that up to you."


CRASH!!!!


"God damn it John. That was a family heirloom."

"Where's my God damn Ham Theo? I'm hungry."

"Ham? It's Thanksgiving. We eat Turkey on Thanksgiving."

"You might. I don't."

"You will or you can have some left over dog food."

"Only if it's Purina One."


Madison walks into the kitchen wearing boxers, black knee high socks and loafers.


"Nova I've got some birdseed in my pocket for you."

"John we've been over this. First it's Azrael now. Second I don't eat birdseed and third you aren't wearing any pants so how could you have birdseed in your pocket? And why aren't you wearing any pants."

"We were playing strip poker. I lost."


Samuels stumbles into the room, clearly a little buzzed from his rapid alcohol consumption.


"We were playing quarters John, you just decided to start taking your clothes off for no reason at all."

"I was hot. Why is it so God damn hot in here Theo?"

"Yeah Theo why is it so hot in here?"

"It's not. You're coked out of your mind and John is drunk. The temperature is fine. Now how about you guys all go take a seat, dinner is ready."

"About God damn time."


Theo's guests all make their way into the dining room and sit down around the table while Theo brings in the massive golden brown Turkey. Theo looks around the table full of guests and smiles...until he gets to Madison.


"John what are you wearing?"

"What? This is Thanksgiving dinner, I didn't want to just sit here in boxers so I put a shirt on."

"I can see that. Where did you get it?"


John stands up revealing his shirt to all the guests.

It's a black t-shirt that says the following:

T-Shirt Said:I

KICKED OUT

OF

PETER GILMOUR'S
WEAK PIN ATTEMPT

19th Kick out

"John that''s Peter's shirt, where did you get it?"

"From his gym bag."

"You went dumpster diving in Peter's gym bag?"

"You don't?"

"No John I don't."

"Your loss."

"Alright John, have a seat and we can get this started."


John takes a seat while Theo remains standing at the head of the table.


"First I want to thank you all for coming. As most of you know this is my favorite holiday because it stands for everything that I am about. Some people might tell you that Thanksgiving is about giving thanks. About remembering that we wouldn't be who we are today, the world's superpower if it were not for the generosity of the Native Americans. But the truth is that's all a bunch of bullshit."

"The truth is we are who we are, I am who I am because I don't ask for anything, I take what I want. You've all seen it and I am extremely good at it. Just like the settlers were good at it when they showed up at Plymouth Rock. Sure they may have sat around the table with the Indians and let the Indians show them a thing or two about their native land but at the end of the day the settlers took what they wanted and never looked back. We've all done it. Some of us better than others. A few weeks ago I took the Universal Title from that bloated bitch Eli James. And do you want to know what the best part is?"

"Why don't you tell us? Not like the turkey is getting cold or anything."

"The best part is I don't even care about the Universal Title. Not one bit. I've already been to the top, this is just icing on the cake. Hell I'm surprised someone didn't cash in on my a few weeks ago. I wouldn't be shocked if someone did it this week but the truth is it won't matter. Because that fat fuck Eli James will come a calling for his rematch and I'll face him and John's puppet Peter Gilmour and while I'm off in the corner not caring about the match Eli will pin Gilmour and become a two time Universal Champ. Until someone cashes in on him because that's all Eli is good for. A cash in and a good laugh. But we aren't here to talk about them."

"Oh shit did you just digress?"

"He sure did."

"You totally just digressed."

"Shut up Luca. Anyway back on track. After I took the Universal Title from the guy who never met a buffet he didn't like I then orchestrated a trios title match in which the Kings took the trios titles from a delusional douchebag, a career loser and a woman. And I haven't looked back. Next week the Kings will defend their trios titles against a couple of guys who are a few french fries short of a happy meal and in doing so will be the first trios champs to successfully defend their title in over a year."

"We've already brought those titles back to prominence after people, more people than I even care to name took a giant shit all over them."

"Theo, don't talk like that at the dinner table."

"Right, no shit talk at the dinner table. So I'll close with this. Thanksgiving is the best holiday there is, better than Easter, or Christmas, or all those other bullshit religious holidays because Thanksgiving is all about my religion, the religion of doing what I want, when I want, how I want, and not giving a fuck what anyone thinks about it. And right now, I want to go to town on this fucking turkey which I cooked too God damn perfection. And yes John, you will eat some of my turkey or you'll starve."

"Jeez Theo, you don't have to be so mean about it. I put on a shirt just for you."

"Sure you did. Now let's dig in.."

"Uhhh one problem there hoss."

"What's that?"

"We're all out of booze."

"How the fuck is that possible?"

"Look around you. Do we look like the type of people that drink responsibly?"


Theo says nothing, conceding Samuels point.


"Alright there's a place a few minutes away, I'll go get some more, you all get started."

"No way, you're the host, I'll go get it. You eat your turkey but save me some of the white meat. Fuck that dark meat shit."

"Racist."

"You are in no condition to drive"

"Appreciate you looking out for my well being but this ain't my first rodeo son."

"Fine."


Samuels get's up from his seat, puts his cowboy hat on, grabs his keys from the table by the door and exits Theo's home in search of my booze.

TBC