An imposter...

Me...

You're mistaken...

Location: Johanneshov, Stockholm, Sweden; Ericson Globe Arena
Time: 5:07 PM
Status: Incognito

Steve Sayors is shown waltzing through the hallway with his trusty cameraman. He approaches the designated place where he's supposed to meet his next interview. He looks around and doesn't see anyone. He looks at his watch and it reads 5:07 PM. He's already seven minutes late, yet there's no person in sight.

"Hey Bill, can you hand me my itinerary? I need to see who it was I'm supposed to be meeting here."

The camera shakes for a minute before a hand outstretches with a small device in it. Steve Sayors turns it on and examines it for a few seconds before smiling. Steve hands it to the cameraman who shakes the camera as he takes the device back.

"Ahhh yes. Chair of Mastermind. How could I forget? I guess I've just been working myself too much."

Steve Sayors looks around. He sees three chairs lined up on the wall, but none of them look like the Chair that cut the promo the other day.

Steve.

Steve Sayors jumps at the sound of his name. He turns to look at the three chairs against the wall.

Steve Sayors, I presume?

The interviewer looks dumbstruck at the three chairs. He looks around the room as if not hearing the noise from the right direction.

No, Steve Sayors, I'm over here. Can you determine which chair I am?

Sayors places a finger on his lips as he examines the three chairs before him.




"You're none of them. I've seen you before. You have wheels underneath you and are black leather. Which is different than the very chair that Mastermind sits in apparently. He called you a fraud."

The voice laughs a sarcastic chortle.

Well what does that 'ingenious' Mastermind know anyhow? He thinks I would just give away the answers to everything? Well... maybe I will. Maybe it's time to show him just how wrong he is.

The wooden chair begins to glow a beaming white light. It's so bright that the camera's screen is nothing but white. Sayors has to cover his eyes with his hand. The light subsides momentarily to reveal...


Steve Sayors looks shocked as he stares at Chair. He pulls out his notepad and begins jotting down notes.

"So you have the ability to change your appearance to.... anything? Or just chairs?"

Unfortunately just chairs. I can be anything from a folding steel chair to a rolling leather chair to a wooden chair. No other types of furniture however.

"Do you... feel things? Like the wind or pain when someone pokes you?"

Oddly I can feel the wind and stuff touching or poking me, but I feel no pain. You could rip me apart, but, as long as I transform to a different chair, I feel no pain. None at all.

"How strange... Now I assume you wanted to have an interview for more than showing us that, right?"

Well of course. I wanted to have this interview to talk directly back at Mastermind. That fat fucker.

"Ahem well... lets start with this. Mastermind, in his latest promo, said he would destroy you and make you nothing but firewood. Your thoughts?"

Well he's more than welcome to try. In fact, I want his fat ass to try. I've held him up for a long time now, and he thinks he can get over on me? He thinks he can overcome the sheer strength and resolve of Chair? He's got another thing coming. I will roll his face over and do what no other man has been able to do for two weeks. Defeat Mastermind. Your streak comes to an end at the hands of Chair, Mastermind.

"Very nice, very nice. He also called you a lying worthless hide and stated that you would not win his X-Treme Championship."

HA! Truthfully I could not care less about the title. The only reason I wanted to win that title was to make Mastermind feel pain. I wanted him to suffer after all this time of subjugation to holding his fat ass. I will win that belt just to prove a point, but Mastermind... you're a deadman come Warfare.

"A Deadman you say? Interesting. He then resorted to childish tactics of name-calling. The biggest name he called you is Mr. I suck because I got turned into a chair for abusing women."

Hahaha! Boy. I knew Mastermind sucked, but going back to pre-school was low even for him. He probably stuck his tongue out at the camera and blew raspberries as well. Mastermind, you are not on my level. You're not even close to my level. I may have abused women in the past, but I've changed now. However, I'll make an exception for our match. I'm not afraid to whip two bitches into shape.

"Strong words for the Chairman of the board. Anyone... ? Okay... next question. He would then call you the laughing stock of the XWF. Your retort?"

Laughing stock. Well, I am a Chair competing in the XWF. Amongst wrestlers. Not talking objects. So I can see where I would be rather scary or perhaps laughable. After all, I've been holding up the fat ass of the TRUE laughing stock of the XWF. After all, who the fuck loses to a chair? Mastermind, that's who. He's a smuck that no one in the XWF likes or respects. NO ONE. You're a joke. I'd call you a has-been, but that requires you to ever have been something relevant. You're a joke Mastermind. Everyone here knows that you are.

"Very interesting. I think that's all the questions I have for you... Chair. Is there anything you want to add?"

Yes. Mastermind. On Warfare, you are entering a match against a man named Joey Hawkins and myself. The problem is, the Chair is your real challenge. Hawkins is a fool and nothing but a stepping stool. Meanwhile I will destroy both you and that fool. On Warfare, you will be defeated and not just by anyone but by...


A Chair.