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Oliver Oswald Cooper · **11-07-2014, 05:31 PM**

Cooper sits at his desk once more in his not-so-well lit office in Austin, Texas. He is smoking, his eyes fixed behind his glasses looking at notes. He throws the paper to the desk and takes a sip of brandy; Cooper looks to the camera while drinking and smirks. He places the glass down and adjusts his glasses, smiling.

"Hello again ladies and gentlemen, my name is Oliver Oswald Cooper. The only journalist that matters here in the XWF. Today we are looking over some spooky goings on here, we have the King of the Ring tournament, Warfare and a Spooky Shove It. The other week I feel I talked too much about matches and not enough about it's competitors, so this week I shall try and give you good people the highlights instead of rambling on like Grandpa at the old folks home. Let's begin shall we."

Oliver stamps the cigarette out in the ashtray and looks at his notes once more.

"Okay, whew, got a bunch of stuff to go through, let's get Spooky Shove It out of the way first. A special Halloween event hosted by Loverboy Vinnie Lane. Basic stuff from every match, lot of gimmick heavy stuff, honestly I'd give it a miss. Nothing special just people dressing up like folks more talented then them and was just a bit of fun, all of it can be stricken from the record books and no one will care. But, match of the night Peter Gilmour versus LH Harrison, fun match good showing from both men."

"Enough of that, Wednesday Warfare was quite disappointing this week. Almost everyone wrestler on the show could have walked in with a mop with how easy the 'competition', and I use that term lightly, was dealt with. Burchill dominates Darkwynd and Fury, Mr. House squashes Cobra, Mastermind puts up a fight against Monolith but to no avail and a pathetic showing from Guppy Parsh who loses his precious belt to the newcomer Hysteria. Hysteria looked very strong in this match, good for him I can see him going far. Guppy on the other hand, well maybe he'll grow from this, earn bigger and better championships or perhaps the loss of Stevil and his title in the same week will drive him to depression. Time will tell. On the matches that actually mattered, Ghost Tank didn't shut up the whole week putting someone like Frodo Smackins to shame with the amount of garbage that spewed from his mouth, but at least he made a difference with Kinwrathi driving the nail in with a great piece of work. Morbid Angel and Peter Gilmour, not doing as well as expected. Great back and forth in the match, good offense and defense from all men ending with Kinwrathi getting the well deserved pin on Gilmour. Good match, best of the night by far, impressive showing from all men, Angel and Gilmour could have performed better but Kinwrathi definitely impressed me. Tank, did okay. And finally our main event, a fatal five way that should have been a three way. The defending champion Gator versus Johnathon Heartsford, Mickey Manson, Justin Sane and Maverick. Sane and Maverick said nothing throughout the week, very sad to see since they were both likely to win. Heartsford and Mason said something but might as well said nothing, good showing from Gator not his best but better than his opponents. Not a great match, Gator had a great offense and Manson and Knight had a good showing too. I particularly enjoyed the short lived tag team spot with Knight and Gator. But in the end, Gator gets the pin on Maverick leading to a very vulgar ending which I won't get into and Maverick having to change his name to Iceman. All in all, Warfare was okay, nothing memorable, too much attention on Madness instead. Match of the night, tag team match and personal MVP was Hysteria."

Oliver takes a short sip of brandy and sets the glass back down.

"Finally, Madness, and what a terrific Madness it was with the King of the Ring tournament. I'm going to try and get through this quickly. Gator, D'Ville, Steven Kessler, Tony Santos, Joey Hawkins, Justin Sane, Johnathon Heartsford and Frodo Smackins all get through the first round with ease. Round 2, Gator shakes D'Ville's hand and walks away. Smart move but got the fans pissed off, Gator walking away from the match made him not get tired out for his match on Warfare and D'Ville not wasting energy on another match meant he could conserve himself later on. Whether this tactic was agreed by both men or just Gator wanting to help D'Ville win the tournament is unknown. Santos versus Kessler, good match nice to see Santos return back on form and Kessler proved he's capable fighter, Santos gets the win and move on. Sane destroys Hawkins and Frodo and Knight have a good almost even match, but Frodo steals the victory. Next, D'Ville versus Santos in round 3. Firstly, this may be a dream match for me, absolutely fantastic match perfect from start to finish, both men deserved to get the win with the amount of effort, but with Gator's helpful handshake, D'Ville has the energy to pull through getting the win over a tired Santos. I hope this loss doesn't deter Tony Santos, it was nice to see the man back in action. Next, Sane versus Frodo, Hard to follow the previous match but the men involved do a great job, Frodo gets the pin and goes to the finals against D'Ville."

"Finally, no pun intended, D'Ville versus Frodo, and we see who will become a king. Frodo starts off fierce and gets heavy attacks on D'Ville early on, tearing him down with that ruthless aggression Frodo is known for. D'Ville fights back and does a good job getting his defense against Frodo, both men go back and forth and this match could go either way. But in the end, D'Ville just gets the victory and is named king of the XWF! All be it briefly, with Lesnar and Luke Gunnar back in action and attacking the poor doctor. What's next for D'Ville? Will he beat Lesnar and prove to be a true king? Will his name now be King Louis D'Ville? Only time will tell."

FINAL THOUGHTS
"A fine week, great Madness with D'Ville showing supremacy and Warfare was mediocre at best but kept an entertaining pace for the most part. Good work from almost everyone minus a few people, looking at you Sane, the man formerly known as Maverick and some of the first rounders."

"Anything I missed? Would you like me to explain in more detail what I thought of you? Simply reply and I shall get back to you. Also, if you would like to schedule a one on one interview, please send me a message discreetly and we can work something out. I've been Oliver Oswald Cooper, thank you for watching."

~~Frodo mother fucking Smackins~~ · **11-07-2014, 05:42 PM**

'First of all, neither Knight or Sane stood a chance against me. It was not close, if it looked that way, it was because I was simply being lazy. Second of all, Manson put up a good fight against Gator. Third of all, the ending to the five way should be explained. It was brilliant."

Oliver Oswald Cooper · **11-07-2014, 05:44 PM**

"Knight, not so close, Sane was fairly close. At least give the man some credit. The ending of the five way was in bad taste. You and Gator should be ashamed of yourselves."

Gator · **11-07-2014, 05:49 PM**

"It was majestic, fuck you!"

~~Frodo mother fucking Smackins~~ · **11-07-2014, 05:51 PM**

"It was not nearly as close as you're attempting to make it seem. I can handle Sane any day of the week. I can handle Knight every day of the week. They're not even close to being on my level. And, no, it was not in bad taste. It was something Iceman agreed to, and thus was the finalization of a gentlemen's bet. If you have issue with that small display of XWF Fecal play, then perhaps you're reporting on the wrong federation."

Mr. Oz · **11-07-2014, 07:29 PM**

"Still waiting on that phone call. Though, it's probably tough to reach someone when they're on the move every week and do not own a cell phone. Unless you call Alvald. He has all that stuff. I am severely disappointed though, that despite my apologizing to you, you still treat me poorly. What was it you said? "Ghost Tank didn't shut up the whole week putting someone like Frodo Smackins to shame with the amount of garbage that spewed from his mouth" Yet here I thought we were both going to be men about our previous situation. I apologized, you accepted, back to square one. Yet you took shots at me. Kinwrathi was a great partner, I'm glad I got him, but my work in the ring should not go unnoticed, nor should it be labeled as "okay". I did enjoy the report, for whatever it's worth. However it's poor taste to accept someone's apology, then continue to piss all over him. If you don't like me, that's fine. I couldn't care less. I do care, though, about someone making me think we've gotten rid of the bad air, only to find the other party is still stinking up the place.

Whether I get an interview or not, I don't really care, so long as you don't lie to me about where our situation is currently at. Until next time Cooper."

Oliver Oswald Cooper · **11-07-2014, 07:50 PM**

"Mr. Tank, you're right. I apologize, it was childish of me to carry a grudge we had before into this review. You're work was better this week, but take my criticism as words to drive you. Anger seems to get you more motivated, I only wish to see people become better. And my assistant did try to reach you, but as you said, no cell phone and what not. We'll arrange something soon. Again, I'm not a bitter person so I do apologize. Take care."

~~Frodo mother fucking Smackins~~ · **11-07-2014, 07:57 PM**

"Actually, I find that you insult Tank and I too much. I want to kick your ass in the ring. You, me, steel cage. If I win, you fix your ignorant dislike of us two. You win? Well, you will never win."

Oliver Oswald Cooper · **11-07-2014, 08:45 PM**

"I don't wrestle, I just review. Don't like what I say? Don't watch, simple as that."

~~Frodo mother fucking Smackins~~ · **11-07-2014, 09:19 PM**

"You're a fucking pussy, that's why you won't face me."

Mr. Oz · **11-07-2014, 11:30 PM**

"Frodo, he apologized to me, and I am accepting it. If he were a wrestler I'd believe he would face you. However, he is not. So, don't worry. In the interest of the Higher Power, my brother, I ask you to forgive and forget."

~~Frodo mother fucking Smackins~~ · **11-08-2014, 02:37 PM**

"You're right, Tank. I shall forgive him now, but should he choose to slander either of us again, it will not be forgiven."

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode A week in review with Oliver Oswald Cooper. 11/07/14
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