Pest is seated in a chair in his living room, speaking into a camera that Sayors is holding, looking rather uncomfortable.

Mr WGWF:Well, Gator. We're meeting for the second time in the ring. Interesting. When I signed up for this event, I was certain I would be drowning in Lane's tears. Now, it turns out that I will be drowning in your tears. Are you going to lose and cry like your little friend? I heard rumors that he was caught at a bar crying because he lost. Not, that he was drinking at a bar, just crying there like a transgendered pussy. You see, when Vinnie when to go try and drink at said bar, he ordered something faggoty like a White Wine Spritzer. Did you know he drinks white wine spritzers? Because that is the kind of think that would end a friendship. You must have low standards for friendship, you did befriend the man who only got accepted into the Black Circle because I turned it down. Did you know that? When Azrael was out trying to rape Todd, did he happen to mention that fun fact to him? Whisper it in Todd's ear as a form of foreplay?


Before anyone spends any time trying to guess, I will not be in costume come this match. I shall face off in my usual costume. I will masquerade as James Raven some more. Unless, I am James Raven. Surely this shall be a riddle for you to solve. Am I a fraud, or am I the real Raven? Deduce it if you can, detective. And while you're working on your clever deductions you may actually try and solve that murder you're so poorly working on. In fact, you are working so poorly I might as well assume you're being Vinnie Lane; a complete fuck up at everything he even attempts. I'm curious. If I locked you in a room with Vincent and a loaded hand gun. Told you that the only way one of you could walk out is if one was shot in the face, would I come back to discover the barrel pressed against someone's face with the other asking how to make it go boom? Because truly, you two are way to stupid to figure out how to make the gun go boom.

Actually, I'm of the belief that the reason you wear that stupid costume is not to imitate Luca Arzegotti, but bravo at dissuading those rumors by being him for Halloween, but more to the point, that you are too stupid to know how to clean yourself properly so you wear the onsie to hide the filth. Tell me, Woods, if I removed that outfit from you how much filth would I find caked onto your flesh? Would I be able to scour you clean, or would I simply have to set your on fire to burn away the filth? Do you understand how a bar of soap functions? Because I can think of no other reason as to why an adult would wear a child's costume and pretend to be a superhero. Either they're mentally deficient and still believe they could possibly be a superhero, or that person is so mentally deficient that they cannot figure out to cleanse themselves properly, but somehow managed to come up with such a plan. Tell me, Woods. Which is it?


Should I be concerned with you even doing anything in the ring besides crying and throwing a tantrum because your "mummy" isn't there to hold your hand? Or perhaps I'll give you a lolly and you'll just lay there and have a napnap. I remember when my daughter was a child, that was what would put her to sleep. Sometimes when she was still an infant, I would heat up a nice warm bottle of milk, and she would fall asleep in my arms, and it was the best feeling in the world. Should I prepare a warm bottle of milk for you? Since I believe you to be as much of a human being as she was at that point. Before you make the assumptions, yes, she did in fact kill herself when she was 16. We never found a note.



Or, I'm just making that whole thing up, and continuing my fraud campaign. Which do you believe is the truth? Please, share with me. I'm curious to know how the mind of a child processes my life story. Barbie's much too old to give me that opinion, but you are not of the mental age she is. I can trust your child like mind.

Barbie walks through the door, ending Pest's tirade for his opponent. She was wearing the same tattered miniskirt she had worn the night she had become Pest's girl. Instead of the tattered pink and black sweater she had donned prior, she's wearing a tight little pink T-Shirt from Victoria's Secret's Love Pink campaign. She walks into the living room, popping the gum in her mouth as she moves, and plops down on the sofa next to Sayors.

Barbie:What are you doing, baby?

Sayors:We're doing an interview for his match tomorrow.

Mr WGWF:Did she ask you, Steven? Are you her baby now? During my Crucifixion did you step into my shoes? Is that where you wish to be? Do you wish to claim my home as your own, claim Barbie's tight little twat as yours? Go on, bury your face into it! Be me! Apparently you want to!

Sayors:No! I didn't mean it! I'm sorry, I just answered. I'm used to it!

Pest is standing up and staring down at Sayors at this point, his voice raised and a finger is pointing down directly in Sayors' face.

Mr WGWF:No! YOU WANTED TO BE ME! YOU WILL REMOVE HER UNDERWEAR AND PLEASURE HER!

Barbie:James, baby. Don't. I need to tell you something.

Ignoring Barbie's request, and fueled by the lack of movement by Sayors, Pest grabs him by the back of the head and begins forcing Sayors' head towards Barbie's crotch.

Mr WGWF:You will remove her underwear right now, or I will hurt you as if you were a child.

Sayors drops the camera, and reaches his hands up Barbie's skirt and begins feeling around for Barbie's panties, but finding none.

Sayors:She isn't wearing any!

Mr WGWF:Is that true, Barbie?

She pops her gum, and twirls one of her pigtails.

Barbie:Well, yeah. I didn't expect you to be working when I came home, and wanted to tell you something big. Then I thought we would celebrate.

He forces Sayors' face into Barbie's pussy.

Mr WGWF:Tell me as Sayors pleasures you. We'll celebrate by watching Steven trying to fill my shoes. Go on Steven, eat the fuck up.

Sayors begins to orally please Barbie, she looks uncomfortable, at first, then gets slightly more into it.

Barbie:He's ok, I might cum after a while. He's not nearly as good as you are.

Mr WGWF:Steven! Is this the first time you've eaten pussy? How could you be so horrible at it? You're going to make Barbie cry. And it's almost her birthday.

Sayors:No! I don't eat pussy much. You've seen my face. And I especially don't eat it under duress.

Mr WGWF:Well, today's your lucky day. You're going to get to taste her sweet sweet pussy, and then you're going to fuck her. I might even let you play with her little tits. You'd like that, wouldn't you? Get to be me some more.

Pest lifts Sayors off his knees and into the air.

Mr WGWF:Undo your pants. NOW.

Sayors:Please don't make me do this.

Mr WGWF:Undo them, or I will break every finger you have.

Sayors slowly fumbles to get his belt undone, and his pants fall to his ankles. Revealing his Captain America briefs. Barbie begins to chuckle.

Mr WGWF:Pull it out.

Sayors:What?

Mr WGWF:PULL IT OUT. I want to see your little thing out, and I want to know it's going in Barbie.

Sayors drops his underpants revealing his flaccid penis. Just dangling in the air like a limp noodle.

Mr WGWF:Is that what you intend to use to make Barbie cum? That tiny thing. Barbie, would you even feel that?

She shakes her head, afraid to say a word. Pest drops Sayors, and the little man falls hard on his knees.

Mr WGWF:Get it up.

Sayors:Why are you doing this?

Mr WGWF:Because you wanted to be me, so you're going to get an erection, and show Barbie. You insulted her when you failed to have an erection while tonguing her. She feels ugly.

Barbie:I do, Stevie. Don't you like my wet little pussy?

She spreads her legs so Pest and Sayors can see her vagina clearly, before slowly rubbing her clitoris. Sayors fears for his safety and begins to masturbate furiously, attempting to get it up. Barbie ceases pleasuring herself while she watches the nervous gimp man trying, and failing to get an erection.

Barbie:I don't think he likes me, James. I wonder if it's because I'm pregnant?

Mr WGWF:You don't like her, do you, Steven?

Sayors:It's not that! She's pretty enough. I'm just having trouble because you're threatening me!

Mr WGWF:Is it because she's pregnant? Wait, you're pregnant?

She nods her head before sticking 2 fingers inside of her.

Barbie:It's yours, too, Jamesy.

Pest eyeballs the man jerking off in front of a pregnant Barbie. He kicks Sayors in the head, sending him to the ground.

Mr WGWF:GET OUT! HOW DARE YOU JERK OFF IN FRONT OF HER! SHE'S CARRYING MY BABY!

Without the need to be told twice Sayors leaps to his feet and rushes out of the house as he attempts to pull his underpants, and pants us.