"So, I know some of you are sitting around asking yourself what you can do to keep yourself from getting your ass kicked when you step into the ring with me tomorrow night. There are three options. Don't show up. If you do show up, defect to my team. Or as soon as you make it in the ring, just drop your pants, bend over, and count your toes. Getting fucked dry will hurt less than what I am going to unleash on you. I'll promise you that. The fucking will not be short, and it will not be pleasant, but it will be better than spending the duration of the match with one of my limbs lodged somewhere between your 7th Vertebra, and you're Cranium. Because I'm promising you, that will happen if I am not met with open assholes, or defections. It won't be pleasant looking for the audience, I mean all of you are fuck ugly. And one of you looks like a fat tranny paedophile. No one wants to see that. And I mean no one. Please, just wear a veil, and hide your face.
Actually, Vannie Lome, let me ask you something. How does it feel to know that you're considered a huge fucking joke here? To know that people don't look at you like you're a champion, more like that you're a horrible piece of shit that just won't flush. You know those turds that clog a toilet real bad, and you need to actually call a plumber to snake out? That's what Vannie Lome is. Not much more. I've spent a lot of time making jokes about him being a fat tranny and shit, but the truth is this. Your genitals of no concern for anyone, because the only one that actually plays with them is you. Whether they dangle, sink in, or were removed at birth, is irrelevant. What is relevant is that you're a worthless wrestler, a crybaby, and piece of shit that should never have been allowed in the federation. You're a huge fucking blemish on the face of the XWF, a boil that needs lanced if you will. I will be the one to lance it, I will crush you in the ring, and I will make you cry in the ring. People will see it, and you won't be able to deny it.
If this Federation was a Human being, you would be the Melanoma on its face. The part we would need to be excised with laser surgery, and hope it didn't spread. Seriously, Lane, you're nothing more than a loudmouthed ignorant fuck. For real, would it kill you to get any fucking thing right when you fucking open your goddamn mouth? I mean, honestly, I wonder what would happen if I were to place an elementary school kid's test in front of you. You think you'd be able to get any of them right? Better yet, if you went on Are you smarter than a fifth grader, could you even get one of their spelling words correct? No, I'm not even joking right now. Are you actually fucking , or is it just a fucking act? Because if it's an act you need to stop. You are honestly hurting my head with how you are.
I wish I could put this more humorously right now, but the truth is that there's no humour in adult illiteracy or mental . It's quite sad, and I really want to help you learn to read and function in the real world. I have spoken to Frodo, not via Facetime, like you made the claim of doing, because everyone knows Frodo won't use Apple. Ever. We spoke on the telephone like an adult, and he agreed to help fund a charity to get you either a helmet or a proper education. We're looking into the cost of adult education, and the cost of a helmet. We probably should go with a full face one, not just the bicycle ones. You're so fucking you'd probably end up ramming your face into jet engine or something. The helmet won't protect you, but it will give you more time to realise how stupid you are before your face hits the actual turbine. Use that time to remember what your mum told you. Don't eat the yellow snow. God, I hate you.
Yeah, and so does Frodo by the way. But he does think it's awesome how hard you try. His life has been filled with hardships as well, imagine being the only white kid in a black family. Imagine being as short as he is, and as living as a junkie. Life wasn't easy for him, so he does understand the hardships of a . Or comes close to. I've lost me eye, and I'm really short, so I also understand hardships. But, and this is a huge but, it appears that instead of trying to overcome a hardship you've just run your face into the wall as hard as you possibly can. It does explain how your face got so fucked up, you ugly cunt. Actually, I don't think I'm putting this into perspective properly. If my choice was to fuck you, or have my dick ripped off very slowly, like it was made of velcro, as I'm being boiled in a soup for some cannibals? I'd take the dick ripping soup. I don't think anyone could ever get it up for you. And I don't think any woman would willingly let that microscopic, potentially invisible, dick of yours slide into their pleasure pool.
But keep telling us how you're going to bang Mandii, and Frodo isn't. Because we've already seen that she doesn't like you at all. Funny, I think despite your boasting, someone called that. Want to know the reason it was so easily predicted? Because no woman actually wants to sleep with you. In fact, I have heard reports that even whores have turned you down. Any claims of fucking women have all been made up to make you seem more masculine and straight. Trying to hide those bitch tits you got, and that high ass voice echoing through like a boy whose balls never dropped, or like a girl. Are you trying to be Hilary Swank in Boys Don't Cry? Because, if you are, for shame. You're just not good at it. Follow the advice you were given, and look into suicide. It's probably the only escape for you. Yeah, dude, I'm sure you probably should just stop living. Oh, and I noticed you 'do coke' no, you're probably just snorting Baking Soda. Which isn't actually healthy. I'm being serious when I suggest you just quit. You're no good at this thing.
Zeke, seriously. Do I need to honestly waste any time on you? You're just not worth it. I'm sorry. Come back when you're actually relevant. Or you know, don't. I dunno. You probably won't matter in your life time, so just don't bother trying. Go ahead and throw in the towel. It's actually better for you to just stop wrestling and focus on slowing that disease down. By the way, how the fuck did you manage to skip having HIV and just go to full blown AIDs? Miracle of modern science.
Mastermind? I don't have much to say about the bitch. I've said too much enough.
Same with McBride.
Gator? I like you. I actually like you. But I'm still going to smash your face into the mat. I'm sorry, we can be friends later, but truthfully, I have to hurt you. Sorry, pal.
Ok, I think I've hit everyone. Good job. I'm out. Scully paid for me to go get a McRib, so I'ma go get McRibs. Fuck, I love McRibs more than any man should. I wonder how many McRibs I can fit in a chest freezer? One of those big ones. A 5 cubic foot one. Hmmm, I'ma figure it out. Fuck yeah. Off to McDonald's, ."
Katie's chilling out on the sofa at Swag's watching Real Housewives of Orange County, or something. Dunno, don't care, she's a silly girl. Gary comes waddling in carrying a plate of cheese and crackers, sets the plate on the sofa, and the climbs up and sits next to Katie. He eyeballs the TV, looks around, and grabs the remote with his little Wallaby hands. Paws? Feet? Fuck it, they're called Feet, niggas. Deal with it. Anyway, so he's holding the remote like a Wallaby Playa, then he changes the channel to Animal Planet. Katie tries to take the remote from him, and he lets out an eardrum shattering hiss. Yes, Wallabies Hiss. Or not. Gary does though. Because he's a fucking pimp. Deal with it, again. Swagmire comes running out of the kitchen at hearing the noise. He sees Katie reaching for the remotes, takes his shoe off and in true black fashion, throws that shit. SMACK! It connects with the back of Katie's head.
"Oh. Is Gramma around? Did she throw a shoe at me?"
"No, it's me. You upset Gary. I threw a shoe."
"Are you a niggress now?"
Swagmire puffed up his chest.
"Listen white girl, you don't use that term. And no, I am not a nigress."
"White girl? I'm at least half black."
"You have white skin, blonde hair, and your daddy is white."
"We don't know Daddy's ethnicity. Besides, my mom is half black. And look at my butt. It's totally cute and not white."
"You're half black?"
"Half or Mulatto. Yeah."
"But you're so light skinned. And White."
"I know. No one believes me. But I really am."
"Hmmm. Odd. Oh well. Don't take the remote from Gary."
, or is it just a fucking act? Because if it's an act you need to stop. You are honestly hurting my head with how ![[Image: ZXX7HJw.png?1]](http://i.imgur.com/ZXX7HJw.png?1)
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