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Guppy Parsh · **10-07-2014, 10:05 PM**

~Act III~

“Is this really necessary?”

“Oh course it is. You sneezed!”

“So?”

“I don’t think you’ve done that before.”

“You don’t understand. I hate doctors. Once I visited the doctors to get a sixth finger on both of my hands, but then I woke up and there were a bunch of doctors laughing at me. It made me so mad that I hit them all with chokeslams.”

“You used to hate me?”

“Sometimes I still hate you.”

“I’m doing his because I love you, Stevil. I already lost Gone Girl’s Ben Affleck. I don’t want to lose you as well.”

The paramedics lifted Stevil and the stretcher he was wickedly strapped to and loaded him into the ambulance of health.

~Act IV~

The waiting room was lonelier than anything I even encountered. I was never on this side of the wall before that day. It felt wrong. I should have been in the ER. I should be the one fixing Stevil by doing doctor things, but I didn’t think about any of that when those doors opened.

“This is almost unprecedented.”

“What do you mean?”

“We’ve seen this one other time.”

“When? What?”

“Does Stevil have any relation to a ‘future man’ 'future named' Tri Bute?”

“I think he was Tri Bute, but he said that was just mind games.”

“Mr. O’McButevil seems to have contracted a form of Ebola that only affects ‘future people’.”

“He has Ebola?”

“Yes, I’m not sure what Ebola does to normal people, but we believe the Ebola is eating his ‘future blood’ before his ‘future veins’ can ‘future pump’ it. It won’t be very long now,” the doctor stared at the monitors attached to the wall.

“What won’t be very long?”

“It’ll be about two days before the Ebola has eaten all of his ‘future blood’ and bursts out of his ‘future chest’ taking the form of an angry chinchilla.”

“What are you talking about?”

“That’s what happened when we tested Ebola on Tri Bute’s ‘future blood’. A lot of good people died that day,” the doctor gestured to a picture of him at a cemetery.

“There must be a way to stop it.”

“We’d need a blood sample from someone who’s the same ‘future blood type’ as Stevil. I can do a procedure to fill his body with normal blood, but it’s risky and expensive.”

“Will my blood work? I might also be from the future though. I’m still not really sure if I’m Tri Bute or not. It’s really confusing.”

“If you’re from the future, then no. It’d have to be someone who has sex with bitches all the time and had their own reality show.”

“I don’t know anyone like that.”

“Then I guess he’ll ‘future die’.”

“Let me see him one more time.”

“He’s right through that door.”

~Act V~

“Stevil!”

“Don’t touch him. It will make the Ebola eat him faster.”

“Can we get some privacy, Dr. Tor?”

“Um, sure.”

Stevil sadistically lied on the hospital bed of animosity, wickedly unmasked. His ‘future face’ (?) was bared to the world and his 'future eyes' (?) of dismay closed. Dr. Tor shut the door behind him as he left.

Guppy didn't want to wake him.

“u want him back don’t u, gup gup?” the voice was a cupcake made out of cinnamon and peppers.

“I do. What do they call you, voice?”

“Oh me? My name is Slim Shady,” the voice found this darkness very thinning.

“No, that’s Eminem.”

“Ur smarter than you look, kid. You passed the test,” the voice was a very good teacher, “Some call me the WIND WALKER OF FURY, but others call me Tri Bute’s Gendered Term Tossing Tirade,”

“What do I have to do to save Stevil’s life, Mr. Gendered Term Tossing Tirade?”

“That’s easy,” the voice knew the value of every deal, “I made sure u kept that cock of urs for this very reason, Guppy.”

Guppy pulled his pants forward and stared down at his gentle giant. There was always something weird about this thing. How it just appeared one day after he took a bite of supreme with pineapple pizza. How his pee would never be yellow regardless of what he ate.

“ENTER BEHEMOTH!” the voice called a great beast.

The door to Stevil’s room opened and a young boy entered without any clothes. He was naked as the day he was born.

“Guppy if you impregnate this child I will LIFT THE CURSE on Stevil,” the voice was very fair.

Guppy took a deep breath and took off his pants. He never once thought he’d lose his virginity to a boy, especially one that couldn’t be a day older than thirteen. Guppy stepped behind the lifeless servant of God and Satan. However something was nagging at Guppy. Something he learned in college.

“Boys can’t get pregnant.”

“Shit!” the voice hated when his tests were passed; it wanted to see some butt fucking and now, “Fine, u passed my second test.”

The room filled with smoke and once it cleared the kid was gone. Stevil evilly stirred in his sleep.

“There is only one way to heal Tri Bute, Guppy. Check those rape statistics,” the voice needed Guppy to see the truth.

Guppy pulled up the rape statistics website Stevil book marked on his phone.

“Wait a second, there were less this week.”

“Stevil was playing more mind games, guppy. Stevil always plays mind games. He’s really smart with those,” the voice knew every secret, “Trannys didn’t rape more people this week. The chicks on Vinnie’s show were all girls with boobs and other lady parts.”

“Really? That means Loverboy’s blood would work for the blood transfusion?”

“It’s basic science,” the voice dabbled in chemistry.

"Why are you helping me?"

"I need steven just as much as u do. What would a virus b without its host?" the voice had more evil plans.

~Act VI~

“Dr. Tor?”

“Oh! Stevil! You’re awake?”

“I guess, is Guppy still here?”

“No, he had to fly to South Africa. He told me to tell you he loves you and to get well soon.”

“Am I going to make it, doc?”

“I hope so. My life and life of everyone in a three-mile radius depends on it.”

Stevil rambunctiously shifted position.

“Don’t move too much. The Ebola monster feeds on that."

Dr. Tor could feel Stevil's doubt. After making eye contact with Stevil's unconscious body for several hours, something he had always struggled to do with conscious people, Dr. Tor felt a connection with his patient quite like he never felt before. He felt obligated to ease Stevil's doubt.

"Guppy Parsh is a hero and regardless of his status with the title after Wednesday. He promised he’d be back with an anecdote. We’re lucky you know Batman. After ‘To The Wonder’s’ Ben Affleck passed away we all thought we were goners, but your friend gave us hope and even if we’re all dead by Thursday, at least we had that.”

Bat wing.

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