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Johannesburg, South Africa

Bryan James - vs - Real Soviet Damage Rematch from last week's double no show? Cage Match Mastermind - vs - John Cena 2099 Standard Match Steven Kessler - vs - Cobra Kai - vs - Ghost Tank - vs - Game Boy - vs - Winchester - vs - Stone Cold TEAMBUILDER Battle Royal The FINAL TWO men left in the ring will have the option of teaming up on a future show in a #1 Contender match for a possible Tag Team Title shot! If they don't want to team up, however, they don't have to. Due to the size of this card, ^top^ of card will get very short, summarized match results Bottom of card will get standard results JTC - vs - Mr. WGWF XBux Match Winner gets loser's XBux Maverick - vs - Michael McBride - vs - John Samuels Triple Threat, 1 Fall Monolith - vs - Peter Gilmour - vs - Cain X-treme Rules, 1 Fall RulerOfDaRoad2ExtremeXtremeWORLDChampion Championship Guppy Parsh - vs - Loverboy Vinnie Lane Guest Ref: Mr. WGWF Ref can RP, try to sway the match, argue, etc... If ref does more than 1 RP, best 1 will count MAIN EVENT Tag Team Championship Kendall Sawyer & Azrael Erebus - vs - RoboWrestler1 & Derrick Silva Standard Tag, 1 Fall

Warfare opens up to none other than the XWF owner himself, Shane Anonistrator, standing in the ring with a potato in his hand and his Charlie Sheen mask on. He raises the potato and speaks into it, revealing that it's actually a functioning mic!

Shane: Attention! Attention! If I could have your attention please, I have something very important to bring to your... attention.

It worked! Shane now has everybody's attention.

Shane: Beside me is something that you'll all recognize the moment I remove the cloth from it.

He's pointing to a table that's set up in the ring and there's something a little bumpy under a large black cloth. Oh dear lord... please don't be a bunch of shit filled condoms.

Shane: Don't worry. It's not shit filled condoms. Those are in the back and I have plans for them that don't involve any of you!

The fans cheer!

Shane: With that said, may I present to you...

He yanks the cloth off the table and exposes...

THE XWF UNIVERSAL CHAMPIONSHIP...?

Shane: This right here is the top championship in the entire wrestling industry. Companies like WWE and TNA only wish they would be given clearance by the official wrestling company regulation alliance to name one of their championships a Universal title, but they can't!

Why is it here though?

Because of something very unfortunate. You see... a few days ago there was an altercation of some kind that involved Blizzard and Shades. Some of you are aware of what happened and some of you are not, but the point is that we were forced to take a special look at the way both of those men seemed to be exhibiting "x-treme" tempers and would not stop taking shots at each other for well over a full day. People were calling in and writing in to complain that they were tired of how every time they turn on the XWF to catch up with daily happenings, it's the Blizzard and Shades show. Blizzard with his endless argument of wanting a title shot even though he failed for two weeks in a row to earn one legitimately, and Shades with his endless games of making fun of Blizzard and poking fun at his legendary status in the company. Blizzard could have easily moved on when Shades first made it clear he was just going to play games and humiliate him... and likewise, Shades could have just stopped answering Blizzard if he had no intention of facing him in a match. Instead, they caused the entire XWF website to overload and temporarily go offline because of how much bickering was being uploaded to it non stop! Even though a large portion of people were annoyed by seeing it, we have another group of fans who really LOVE drama and they kept causing the server to overload by constantly refreshing and wanting to see what these two would say next.

So, after all of that, we had no choice. We had to ask ourselves WHY these two kept on and on like that. Could it be that they both have overly bad tempers? And that's when somebody suggested to me that maybe they're both on the roids. It happens a lot in this business believe it or not. Roid rage, as they call it... and there was no way I was going to risk having a case of roid rage reach Wednesday Warfare today and escalate matters.

So, long story short... we tested them both. Both of them tested NEGATIVE for the roids... they were both clean! So that made us wonder what to look for next. While we were thinking it over, Blizzard officially turned in his resignation from the company due to him being unhappy with some recent events and due to him not appreciating that we'd even consider testing him for roids in the first place. So as of now this is the first official announcement letting you know that Blizzard is no longer with the XWF.

The fans are in shock and give a mixed reaction.

Shane: That brings us to Shades... the man who had cashed in on Eli James several weeks ago to win this Universal Championship. Upon further testing of our champion, our mad scientists discovered that his DNA was NOT a match to Angelus!

The fans can't believe it! What could this mean?

Shane: That means the man we all saw parading around with that title every day WAS NOT the man who earned the briefcase so very long ago. Shades immediately had his legal team submit HIS official resignation from the company as a result of how insulted he was that we'd even look at his DNA and discover this. Rather than explain himself or explain his connection to Angelus and the briefcase, he has severed all ties with the company and therefore relinquished the Universal Championship.

That WOULD have meant we were once again left as we have been in the past with a championship being vacated and having to schedule some kind of crazy ass tournament or battle royal to name a new holder... BUT... in this case my own lawyers have found a legal way around all of that nonsense.

It's really very simple... If the man who cashed in on Eli James was not the person he lead us to believe and had no right to cash in a briefcase, it means that cash in is hereby NULL AND VOID! It's as if it NEVER happened!

So with that said, please join me in welcoming YOUR XWF UNIVERSAL CHAMPION!

A MAN WHOSE LOSS OF THIS TITLE WILL BE COMPLETELY ERASED FROM THE RECORD BOOKS!

I GIVE TO YOU...

ELI JAMES!





The lights go out. "Open" by Hellblinki starts to play... the lights come on very dim with a blue haze with fog smoke everywhere. Eli makes his way to the ring smiling and taking is precious time.. he's in no hurry... and why would he need to be? He already has won again.

Eli makes his way into the ring and Shane hands him the Universal Championship as Eli takes it with a big smile and the two shake hands. For Shane claiming to be the man who Eli decapitated months back, Shane , these two sure seem to be getting along well! Shane looks Eli right in the eye and nods in approval as he speaks.

Shane: Here you go, most beautiful one! It's yours, and you never lost it... and never will.

Shane claps for Eli as Eli takes a mic and looks out into the sea of fans, most of whom are shocked and appalled by everything they've just heard from Shane.

Eli James: Is any of this really a surprise? Did ya really think this kid...a man named Shades... would bring in something far better than I? Heh. You are all fools to have believed the hype and accepted the fake as a champion. How can we trust your judgments any longer? You call a fake.. your Universal Champion. You say he was great. You say he was going to be a fighting champion unlike myself... and yet we all sit and see who continues to speak truth. I told ya.. I feel sorry for you all. Lack of true judgment. You say you don't need anyone, but then along someone comes and you worship him as the one to do something. They have all come... and gone... and here I still stand.. The SPEAKER OF TRUTH!!! I told ya man.. since day one... I do not change. People will come, and go.. and I will remain with you all until it's my time to go. Don't let this opportunity slip through your fingers. Listen to my words... and I will lead you to the Promise Land.

The fans boo as Eli holds the championship high for all to see.

Shane: Thank you Eli... for everything. Most of all, thank you for accepting this championship back after the travesty of justice that has been uncovered in front of us all. Thank you for always being here for us... even if some of us aren't smart enough to appreciate you. As a token of my appreciation, I'm going to allow YOU to set a date for your next title defense and you are allowed to set that date whenever you see fit to announce it. You don't even have to tell us tonight! Whenever you feel ready to give these fans what they need, you will be defending that title in a triple threat match against Peter Gilmour and the official number one contender, Cain!

Eli smiles again as the fans boo. We don't even get a set date? What the hell is this bullshit and why are these two so friendly with each other all of a sudden? The two of them shake hands once again and both walk toward the back together, waving at fans and loving the outpouring of support disgust here tonight. It's official, XWF... Eli James never lost the championship and according to Shane, never will.

Bryan James - vs - Real Soviet Damage Rematch from last week's double no show? Cage Match

The match wages on, both men have brutalized each other in an attempt to score the pinfall. Damage finally gets back to his feet and James catches him from behind with a running bulldog. James lifts his opponent back to his feet and sets him up for a moment but then destroys James with a Soviet Solution(Rain Maker). Damage then quickly sets his attention to the cage which he slowly starts to ascend.

Suddenly there is a disturbance in the crowd and a group of men all dresses as Gein start making their way through the crowd, holding a small boat made out of sticks and masking tape. Inside the small boat is the real Gein.

Damage continues to ascend the cage and finally gets to the top and begins pulling himself over, straddling the top when Gein leaps off of his makeshift raft and quickly climbs the outside of the cage like a monkey. He gets to the top and headbutts Damage. Damage absorbs the first headbutt but not the second. Gein then shoves Damage violently off the top of the cage and the Russian crashes to the mat possibly dead. James rolls over, grabs Damage by the leg and places him in an ankle lock until Damage passes out from the pain. The ref steps in and calls for the bell.

Winner - Bryan James

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Mastermind - vs - John Cena 2099 Standard Match

John Cena 2099 just landed his third consecutive AA 2099 on the Master of Minds but is still unable to make the pinfall. Instead Mastermind gets up beating on the former rap mogul like Cena were back in grade school. A couple of punches, an elbow, DDT and a fisherman suplex later and super charged John Cena is looking a bit worse for ware. Mastermind get's Five Knuckle Shuffle Specialist up and then hits him with the always lethal Mind Changer(Fying Clothesline) right into a Mind Sleeper(Sleeper Hold) and then once subdued he finishes his opponent off with the Mind Controller(Boston Crab) until Cena taps out 2099 style. Which just means that Cena taps the ring so hard he vanishes right before everyone's eyes presumably so he can teleport into the future where he is hopefully not still a shitty wrestler.

Winner - Mastermind

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Steven Kessler - vs - Cobra Kai - vs - Ghost Tank - vs - Game Boy - vs - Winchester - vs - Stone Cold TEAMBUILDER Battle Royal The FINAL TWO men left in the ring will have the option of teaming up on a future show in a #1 Contender match for a possible Tag Team Title shot! If they don't want to team up, however, they don't have to.

A couple of minutes into the match Stone Cold and Winchester are tossed over the top rope by Game Boy and Ghost Tank respectively leaving just 4 combatants. Ghost Tank lunges at Kessler, nailing him with a striking spear. Game Boy and Stone Cold are squaring off with Game Boy looking a little used and abused. Cobra Kai reaches in and in an almost lightning quick motion puts Game Boy down with the Cobra Kai Clutch. Somewhere Master Kreese is smiling while also threatening to kick Johnny's ass.

On the other side of the ring Ghost Tank is still trying his hardest to take Kessler out but Kessler for all his efforts is refusing to give up. A tilt-a-whirl side slam later and Kessler has managed to gain the upper hand. Kessler tosses Ghost Tank towards the ropes and with a running big boot sends Tank toppling over the ropes. Kessler turns around to see what is going on with Cobra Kai and Game Boy not taking notice of the fact that Ghost Tank managed to grab a hold of the top rope as he went over it and thus kept himself from hitting the floor below. Tank reaches over the ropes, grabs Kessler by the back of the head, pulls him in close and uses all 323 pounds as leverage lifts Kessler high into the air by the throat an tosses him overhead where Kessler crashes onto the Spanish Announcers Table.

Back in the ring Game Boy is really laying into Corbra Kai having already survived Cobra Kai's finisher. Game Boy pulls out a used Nintendo controller and starts smashing the buttons as if he were trying to take out the heart during the final stage of Contra. Not satisfied with his efforts Game Boy wraps the cord around Kessler's neck and starts choking the life out of him. Kessler starts turning blue and slumps down to the ground, Game Boy pulls Kessler towards the ropes, using the controller cord to do most of the work, when he gets to the ropes he picks Kessler off, hits an Up Down Up Down A, B, B, A combo, whatever the fuck that is and tosses Kessler out of the ring ending the event.

Winner - Ghost Tank and Game Boy

As per the stipulations of the match Game Boy and Ghost Tank get to choose if they'd like to team together sometime in the future and try to earn a #1 contender shot at the tag belts in which they will face at minimum one other tag team with the winners getting a shot at the tag team champions.


The victors stand tall as the lights begin to flicker. The victors look around and suddenly they go completely out. Darkness resonates over the arena. Red smoke begins rising from seemingly nowhere. The lights flash red and black as "Come, Little Children" begins playing slowly over arena. The screen begins showing static as it turns into what appears to be the face of Hysteria.

The ink on the mask shifts from one shape to another.\r\n\r\n

Hellooooooo. XWF. How are you... faring on this pleasant Warfare? It\'s almost time ladies and gentlefucks! Time for some real fun to transssspire! One of you there... I'm highly interested in you. Ghoooost Tank. You have impressed me today. Consider yourself... ON MY WATCH! Bahahamahahaha!

The lights click back on and the losers of the match are laid out alongside the announcer\s table with black ink smeared on their face as well as their bodies.

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JTC - vs - Mr. WGWF XBux Match Winner gets loser's XBux

Pest starts the match off strong with a spear that sends JTC into the turnbuckle. He steps back, grabs JTC's head, and begins to bash the back of it repeatedly into the turnbuckle. JTC's head begins to bleed, and the ref rushes over and breaks it up. He pushes Pest back, and checks to see if JTC is ok to continue. Cross gives a weak thumbs up, and the ref allows the match to move forward. JTC wobbles into the center of the ring where he's met with a running dropkick to the face. Teeth and blood go everywhere. Pest picks up a few teeth, and begins to try and force them back into JTC's mouth.

The Ref is trying to pull Pest off, but to no avail, he's just jamming tooth after tooth into the bloody sockets where they came from. He's causing JTC to bleed more. Finally the ref is able to pull Pest off JTC, and it almost looks like they're arguing over Pest's ability to practice dentistry in this state. JTC gets to his feet, Pest Shoves the ref out of the way, and grabs Cross by the throat. He lifts him up for a chokeslam, but keeps walking to the ropes. Instead of Choking Slamming JTC, he just tosses him out of the ring. Cross just lays there holding his mouth, and Mr WG.WF climbs the nearest turnbuckle. He faces the crowd, raises his arms, beckoning for them to cheer. They erupt in praise of him, and Barbie tosses him his crown. The Dildo King places it up on his head, and stares solemnly at the crowd. They're chanting his name, and he leaps through the air delivering a perfect 450 splash on top of JTC.

Cross howls in pain and Pest stands up and kicks Cross in the mouth. The ref starts calling for them to get in the ring, which Pest quickly obliges. Jonathon doesn't move, so the ref begins to make the count.

1


Nothing.


2

Still nothing.


3


No movement.


4

JTC gets to his feet


5

He moves to the ring.

6

Baseball slide to the face sends him back

7


He's laying on the floor again.


8



No movement


9


He stirs.

Pest knocks the ref out with a dildo the back of the head. He then goes to the concrete, lifts JTC up and throws him back into the ring. He climbs into the ring himself, then slams JTC into the turnbuckle, and lets him rest for a few moments as he tries to revive the ref. He manages to get the ref awake, before rushing over and drop kicking JTC in the face, sending him to the ground. Mr. WG.WF drags him to the center of the ring, and goes for the pin.

1...










2...














3!!

Winner - Mr. W.G.W.F

Pest springboards up, and lifts up JTC's body. Pest then reaches into his pocket and pulls out a massive dildo which he then proceeds to jam up JTC's rectum until the dildo can no longer be seen. JTC screams out in pain but Pest punches him in the back of the head rendering the man unconscious. Pest then yanks the now poop covered dildo out of JTC and wears it atop his head as if he were a Unicorn. He then begins to carry JTC around the ring like a rag doll before throwing him into the audience and moving to the back.

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The camera clicks on to reveal LH Harrison standing with his hands together. He smiles up at the camera with a certain mischievous grin on his face.

Welcome Black Circle into the home of LH Harrison. As you may know, I am a family man with a household of two little girls and a wife in which all need ample amounts of clothing when going on trips. Thus, there is always an abundance of bags that need to be carried when going on trips.

Eva and Grace, his two daughters, walk in with enormous bags larger than the girls. They hand it to LH and he grabs both with one hand and throws it over his shoulder.

As you can see, this is of no challenge to me. I...

The two girls walk back in carrying a backpack on each girl's back. They hand it to him and he slings one on each shoulder.

Even when they add to the pile, it's of no issue.

Jessica, his wife, walks in with an enormous suitcase and give him the handle. He almost falls over as the weight is extremely one sided. LH raises the suitcase and strains to lift it. He looks at her with an incredulous stare.

What is in here, bricks?

She shrugs and leaves out of the camera. Instantly, the side door opens and his father walks in. He pats LH on the back hard almost knocking him over before handing him his bowling ball bag. He smiles and walks out. LH stares after him with a confused look. He straightens up and takes a few steps towards the camera before walking backwards towards the front door and leaving camera-sight for a minute. He enters back and laughs.

All of those bags of luggage, and I still could carry it all. As you can see, I think I'm the perfect fit for being The Black Circle's Bag Man!

LH laughs and winks at the camera as it fades to black.

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Maverick - vs - Michael McBride - vs - John Samuels Triple Threat, 1 Fall

The bell rings and Maverick walks up to John Samuels poking him in the chest. Samuels looks at him as if he’s lost his mind. Samuels looks at McBride and sticks a thumb at Maverick. Maverick slaps Samuels! Samuels’ head starts shaking uncontrollably! Samuels rears back and punches Maverick in the face dropping him to the mat! Maverick rolls over and out of the ring. Samuels turns his attention to McBride and charges him with a running knee. McBride bounces off the ropes and hits a spear taking Samuels to the mat! McBride punches away at the face of The Senator! Samuels covers up and pushes McBride away. McBride lifts him to his feet and strikes him hard across the face. Senator is staggered by this as Maverick re-enters the match clotheslining both men to the floor! McBride stands back up and Maverick spikes his head into the mat with a DDT. Samuels is now back up and hits a devastating clothesline to Maverick! Samuels begins stomping on the face of Maverick! Not the body at all, specifically just the face. Samuels raises his arm into the air and lifts McBride to his feet. He whips him off the rope and hits a big boot. McBride slumps to the floor and Samuels covers him.





1…










2…




Th-NO! Maverick breaks up the pinfall as blood squirts from his busted nose.

The Senator looks at the squirting nose of Maverick and places his hands on his neck. He lifts Maverick up off his feet and chokes him for a moment while talking trash. McBride rolls up and hits a low blow to Samuels. Samuels drops Maverick and holds his himself as he falls down. McBride kicks him and pushes him out of the ring with his foot. McBride turns around with a smirk drawn across his face. He walks over to Maverick. He stares at Maverick as he pulls himself up the body of McBride. Maverick gets to his feet and McBride kicks him in the abdomen and hits a Car Bomb Suplex! (Exploder suplex) He covers Maverick!





1…











2…



Kickout! Maverick rolls a shoulder up.

McBride lifts the body of Maverick, but Maverick comes to life! With blood running down his face, Maverick hits three straight punches to the face of McBride! McBride is reeling! Maverick rakes the eyes of McBride and then pulls McBride into a crossface! He wrenches the hold back putting serious amounts of strain on the neck of McBride! McBride pulls himself forward towards the ropes, but Maverick breaks the hold. He drives a falling elbow down on the back of the head of McBride. McBride’s body doesn’t move. Maverick rolls him over and covers him.





1…










2…









Th-NO! Samuels breaks it up.

Samuels pulls Maverick off of McBride. He lifts him by the neck with both hands and sends him plummeting into the mat with the Welcome to Texas, Motherfucker! (Two-Handed Chokeslam) Samuels locks on the Longhorn Lock on McBride! (Texas Cloverleaf) McBride is screaming in agony as he tries to crawl to the ropes. He reaches with his hand out and almost touches the ropes when The Senator pulls him back to the center of the ring. McBride fails and falls face first on the mat. He’s barely breathing. The referee raises the hand of McBride and lets it fall.





1…











2…




NO! Maverick smashes a forearm over his head. The Senator slumps over and Maverick applies a headlock trying to take him out with a surprise.

Maverick pulls it on tight. Samuels is struggling to breathe as he gets back to a standing position. With the size difference, Samuels back body drops him with relative ease. He smiles at the audience before picking Maverick up and slapping him for earlier. He slaps him again and then spits in his face! Maverick takes a few steps back and is turning red with embarrassment. Maverick turns to Samuels and makes eye contact. He flips him up!

Samuels is furious now and comes running, but gets caught in a scoop slam! Samuels gets back up, but gets rocked by a clothesline by Maverick! Maverick is a house of fire! Maverick hits three more clotheslines with the third one finally knocking the big man to the mat! Maverick runs over and teases a pin, but instead locks on a Dragon Sleeper! The Senator is trying to fight out of the hold, but Maverick is rearing it back forcefully! Samuels face is full of pain! McBride kips up to his feet suddenly full of energy! He bounces off the ropes and then hits a pointed elbow right to the face of Maverick! Maverick falls over with the blood still slightly flowing from his nose. McBride is pumped up as he climbs the turnbuckle and leaps off nailing a big elbow to Maverick! He climbs another turnbuckle and tries to hit another on Samuels but he rolls out of the way! Samuels gets to his feet, staggering while he does so. He grabs McBride and lifts him up. He motions for his finisher and WHAM! The Filibuster! The Senator lays across the motionless body of McBride and…





1…










2…






Broken up by Maverick. He nails Samuels with a boot to the head and then rolls out of the ring to try and catch his breath. Samuels sees this and follows Maverick out of the ring and starts punching and kicking the ever living shit out of the former X-treme champion.

The ref sees this and starts to make the count....




1...









2...










3...










4...


McBride is up, his Irish blood boiling. He see's Samuels and Maverick trading blows on the outside and decides to take matters into his own hands....






5...



SUICIDE DIVE!!!






6....


McBride takes out Maverick and Samuels as well as himself






7...






Maverick get's to his feet first as Samuels took the brunt of McBride's dive....




8....




Maverick sees the ref counting and starts moving towards the ring...



Samuels grabs him by the foot and Maverick starts frantically trying to break free...


9...




Maverick delivers a massive kick to the face of Samuels that frees him and then makes a last ditch effort to slide into the ring...







10!!!

He did it!!!

Maverick made it into the ring at the last possible second.

The ref signals for the bell and raises Maverick's hand in victory.

Winner by double countout - Maverick

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"King of Kings" by Motorhead plays and Ozymandias along with XWF Television Champion Gator step from the back and walk down to the ring. Once in the ring Ozymandias is handed a microphone by the ring announcer.

Ozymandias: "Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to another edition of Wednesday Night Warfare. As you can see I brought with me the federations Television Champion. And the reason for that is very clear. Gator has gotten bored with his level of competition and wants to spice things up. So he and I came up with an idea. And here it is. On the October 22nd edition of Warfare Gator will be defending his title in a Fatal Fourway Match."

The crowd erupts in cheers.

Gator Gator Gator!

Ozymandias: "But that's not the best part. The best part is that Gator's three opponents will be determined via silent auction. Everyone in the XWF. Let me repeat that. EVERYONE IN THE XWF will have the opportunity to send me a private message with the amount of XBux they are willing to spend to guarantee a place in the fatal fourway. You will all have one week to bid and I will announce Gator's three opponents live on next week's Warfare. One bid per participant. The higher the bid the higher the likelihood of you being chosen for the match. If you are selected for the match, win, lose or draw the amount that you offered for your spot will be made payable to me before the match itself. Good luck everyone. And let the bidding commence."

Ozymandias pats Gator on the back and the two head out as "King of Kings" begins to play again.

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Monolith - vs - Peter Gilmour - vs - Cain X-treme Rules, 1 Fall

Monolith is a really impressive looking human being, he’s over seven feet tall and nearly 500 pounds… look at the way he just dwarfs Peter Gilmour!

Gilmour is not used to being considered small, that’s for sure, but when he’s in there with two giants like Cain and Monolith, he looks like a kid at the grocery store with his same sex parents!

Gilmour doesn’t waste any time though, he doesn’t even wait for the bell! Running right at Monolith, he starts driving hard rights and lefts into the huge man’s protected face. Monolith eats a few of those shots and then just shoves Gilmour back… and Pete runs right up to Cain and starts doing the same thing! Gilmour is a man possessed running right into the fire to start this match!

Cain gets caught with a stiff right forearm and it snaps his head back. Gilmour is actually getting the upper hand over the much bigger man! Oh, but from behind, Monolith with a clubbing blow to the back of Peter Gilmour’s head! Gilly’s down to one knee, and Monolith follows it up with a big clothesline behind him as well. Gilmour’s face down on the mat, and now the two big men are exchanging blows!

Back and forth with hard shots, Cain and Monolith are really giving each other the business! Cain gets the advantage with a series of right jabs to the face of Monolith, he’s got the massive man staggered! Cain backs into the ropes – Monolith clobbers him with a running body attack! Cain’s sent through the ropes and crashes to the outside!

Gilmour’s up, and he sends a high knee into the spine of Monolith, knocking the mammoth man forward against the ropes. Gilmour doesn’t waste any time, running to climb up the ropes in the corner, and he comes flying down at Monolith with an axe handle… but he’s caught! Monolith with amazing strength catching a 250 pound man in a gorilla press over his head!

Powerslam! Onto the ring apron! Peter Gilmour’s spine bounces off the hardest part of the mat, and Monolith is king of the mountain in the ring for the moment. What’s this? Cain on the outside is back to his feet, and he’s grabbing the ring steps… this is an extreme rules match, and Cain doesn’t want to wait any longer to get to the extreme part!

Cain chucks the steps over the ropes and into the ring at Monolith, who gets his hands up just in time to avoid most of the impact. Cain grabs a chair from the ring area for good measure and slides under the bottom rope back into the ring. Here comes Monolith, but he doesn’t get ahold of Cain quick enough!

CRACK!

Cain with a home run shot to the side of Monolith’s head with that chair! Monolith might be out on his feet! Monolith leans against the ropes for support, and Cain runs to the opposite side… and Gilmour yanks down the top rope! Cain tumbles over onto the floor again! Gilmour into the ring, and he runs across… clothesline! Monolith is sent to the outside as well! Now it’s Peter Gilmour as the last man standing in the ring!

Not for long though, as he follows Monolith outside, and looks around, searching under the ring… he finds a table! Gilmour sets the table up and manages to get Monolith to his feet again and leaned over the table. Gilmour onto the ring apron, and he sizes him up… and Cain from behind in the ring! Cain ran back in behind Gilmour and sent him flying from the apron with a big shot - right into the arms of Monolith! Oh my god, Monolith has Peter Gilmour in a bear hug… and he slams him spine first into the ring post!

Monolith stands over the broken body of Peter Gilmour and gloats, but Cain doesn’t want to hear it. He throws that bent up chair out at him, impatiently gesturing for him to get back in the ring and fight him. Monolith isn’t the sort of guy to back down from a physical confrontation, and he climbs up and back through the ropes… Cain gets him halfway through! Cain sends knees into the upper chest and head of Monolith as he bends through the ropes, and he’s stunned him… Cain’s got those steps! Cain brings the steps high over his head, and sends them crashing down onto the back of Monolith! What impact!

Cain’s got him in a front face lock… DDT onto the steps! That’s got Monolith down and out! Cain with the pin!





1…










2…










Shoulder up! Monolith gets a shoulder up and Cain can’t believe it! He’s got the steps again and he backs into the corner to line him up – he’s going to run them right into Monolith’s skull! Wait, Gilmour from the outside! Peter Gilmour from the outside grabs Cain and trips him up as he starts to run forward, and Cain falls face first onto the set of steel ring steps! Gilmour climbs the ropes again, and he leaps from the top – big splash onto Monolith! Gilmour’s gonna steal it!





1…











2…




NO! Cain pulled him off!

Cain’s got Gilmour, and he pulls him to his feet, slamming his head into the turnbuckle. Now a series of body shots to the ribs and midsection. Cain’s got Gilmour battered in the corner. Wait, Gilmour turns it around! Gilmour’s a house afire now, tossing Cain into the corner and raining blows on him! Right, right, left, right, Cain can’t block them all!

BIG SPLASH from Monolith! He squashed both men in the corner with a running splash into the corner! Cain got the worst of it, but Gilmour is definitely feeling the effects! He turns to Monolith – and starts throwing bombs! Gilmour is hot tonight! He backs the big man up with those shots! Here comes Cain from behind… and Monolith shoves Gilmour right into him! Cain’s has him in a full Nelson, and drops him in a slam! No time for Cain to take advantage, though, because Monolith rushes in with a clubbing forearm! He’s got Cain up in a double handed choke!

Cain kicks him in the nuts! He, we said it was extreme rules! Monolith drops like a ton of bricks to the mat, and Cain moves in – but now Gilmour intercepts him! Gilmour with a kick to the gut… ENDGAME!

Gilmour hit it! He got Cain in that package piledriver, and he goes for a cover!


1…



2…


No! Monolith broke it up! Gilmour is furious!

Gilmour stands up and he’s sending a bunch of kicks to Monolith’s head… Monolith is absorbing the blows and getting to his feet slowly. Gilmour with more kicks… side kicks, yakuza kicks… Monolith is taking a beating! Don’t tell me… Gilmour’s setting up for the ENDGAME again! No way he can get the big man up… wait… he’s pulling back… he’s got him a few inches up… NO! Gilmour couldn’t get the 500 pounder in position, he probably threw his back out even trying!

Monolith takes advantage, grabbing Gilmour’s legs and dropping him to the mat with a double leg pickup. Cain’s back to his feet… FORE!!!

Monolith just swung the body of Peter Gilmour into Cain’s face like a six iron! Cain’s sent staggering into the corner as Monolith gives Gilmour the Alpine Air giant swing! He tosses Gilmour to the mat, and grabs him back to his feet… he’s setting him up for a powerbomb! Hold on… where’s he going?

Monolith has Gilmour on his shoulders for a powerbomb, and he’s walking back to the other side of the ring… up those ring steps and onto the turnbuckles! Monolith up to the top of the corner! He’s going to powerbomb Gilmour to the outside of the ring from up there, he’ll kill him!

Wait – Cain runs up behind and up the steps with Das Boot!

HOLY SHIT!!!! Cain drilled Monolith in the back of the head with Das Boot, and sends both men crashing from the top to the outside…. RIGHT THROUGH THAT TABLE!

It’s a total debacle! Blood and broken table bits are scattered everywhere at ringside, Cain’s got to get one of those men in the ring to go for a cover, they’ve both got to be done!

Cain to the outside, he’s trying to get Monolith up and in the ring, but he’s out cold. Cain can barely move the massive body of Monolith, so he turns to Gilmour instead, lifting him in a gorilla press. Cain tosses Gilmour into the ring, and Gilly lands on the mat like a wet noodle. He could have serious internal injuries from what just happened to him!

Cain must not want Monolith to be able to interfere with the cover, he’s stomping him on the floor… he seems to have woken him up with those boots, though, I don’t think it was a good idea. Monolith slowly claws his way back to his feet, using Cain almost like a ladder, and now the two big men are exchanging punches on the outside!

Cain gets Monolith with a hard right, and then ducks under a short clothesline attempt! Monolith hit the post! Cain’s got to take advantage here… and he gets back in the ring where Gilmour has still yet to make a move!

Cain’s climbing the ropes! Unbelievable! Cain is going to put this thing to bed if he can hit Gilmour from up top… wait, here comes Monolith! Monolith is back in the ring, and he catches Cain as he gets to the top! Monolith with a series of punches to midsection, and now he’s following him up the turnbuckles! I hope those things are reinforced! Monolith has Cain set for a superplex! He’s going to suplex Cain from the top rope!

Gilmour’s up! I don’t believe it but he’s up! The delay from Cain and Monolith gave him enough time to get to his feet… and he’s getting to the corner! Gilmour’s gotten between Monolith’s legs and the buckles…

POWERBOMB!

Gilmour Powerbombed Monolith while Monolith superplexed Cain! All three men are on the mat, this has been a hell of a fight! Gilmour is the first to stir. He rolls over and gets to his feet. Monolith get's to his feet with some help from Gilmour. Monolith headbutts Gilly, grabs him by the neck and starts punching Gilmour in the face repeatedly but the man beast known as Peter Gilmour takes the beating and fires back with a few punches of his own. He kicks Monolith in the bait and tackle box and with nothing but brute strenght destroys Monolith with the Endgame(Package Piledriver) and then the pin.





1...




Cain is up and see's the pin...




2...







He dives...






3!!!

Thump!!

Cain nails Gilmour in the back of the head but it's too late. The ref made the 3 count and signaled for the bell.

Cain is furious, he rips Gilmour up to his feet and then puts him right back down with a devastating Clothesline To Hell!!

Gilmour is down. Monolith is down and Cain is on his way out of the arena.

Winner - Peter Gilmour

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Pest is seen carrying a bag up and down a flight of stairs, and then he adds another, and repeats. This process continues until he's carrying thirteen bags at one point, even holding them and jumping over small animals, and random object.

Mr. WGWF:Don't select me, but please realize that I am of a vastly superior quality. I just want you to remind all of these other hacks that I am, in fact, their superior. Remind them that the names John Madison, Luca Arzegotti, and Azrael Erebus once meant something here, and should continue to mean something. If only you could get Mr. Idenhaus back. His name carried a lot of weight and power as well. Just remember boys, I may not like you, but I do respect the three of you.

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RulerOfDaRoad2ExtremeXtremeWORLDChampion Championship Guppy Parsh - vs - Loverboy Vinnie Lane Guest Ref: Mr. WGWF Ref can RP, try to sway the match, argue, etc... If ref does more than 1 RP, best 1 will count

Loverboy Vinnie Lane stretches in his corner, posing for his adoring fans as the current champion Guppy Parsh perches on the top turnbuckle in his corner, trying to look like Batman. Pest, the official for this evening looks disgruntled between the two men and signals for the bell, Guppy hops down from the turnbuckle and meets with Vinnie in the center of the ring, the pair circle one another and lock up, pushing against each other trying to gain control of the situation. After a few seconds of manly hand holding, Vinnie gets bored and kick the former doctor in the midsection which causes him to keel over grabbing his stomach, Lane places a hand on Parsh’s head jumps high into the air going for a Fame Asser, but Guppy simply walks back causing Vinnie to land hard on his well toned posterior. Loverboy grabs his money maker as Guppy runs against the ropes and rebounds landing a low dropkick to Vinnie’s side knocking him to the mat.

Vinnie quickly rubs off the attack but The Batman rushes over getting Lane in The Future Saskatchewan Future Spinning Future Nerve Hold! Whatever that is... Pest leans in close to see if Vinnie will tap out, he does for a second before slapping Loverboy across the face and signalling for the bell that he tapped out. Of course, our official at ringside shakes his head. What? Did you really think we’d have Pest referee a match by himself? Warfare has made some precautions.

Pest rolls his eyes and continues to view the hold, Vinnie is fighting back and gets away from The Future Saskatchewan Future Spinning Future Nerve Hold and turns to Guppy sending a flurry of punches to the Dark Knight’s jaw forcing him against the ropes. Loverboy Irish whips Guppy against the opposite ropes and runs against him, Guppy holds out his arm for some kind of Future Lariat but Vinnie telegraphs the move and leapfrogs over Parsh and spins to face Guppy who has rebounded once more, Lane with a perfect Snap Powerslam and the pin. Pest slowly gets to his knees and places his hand under Guppy’s shoulders to make sure they’re flat on the mat, Lane’s frustration grows as Pest slowly slaps the mat.





1....





...




Kickout at 1!

Loverboy gets to his feet and argues with Pest, as Guppy gets to his feet. Lane takes his attention back to the Guppster.

Vinnie thrusts forward with a Superkick, but Guppy ducks under it, runs past him, bounces off the ropes and comes crashing back with a knee right into the bridge of Lane's nose knocking him right off his feet. Some blood seeps out of his nostrils and onto the mat and Guppy's eyes light up at the sight of it...no...no...Guppy...don't do it...

Guppy is reaching into his pocket! This isn't a no DQ match!

OH SHIT! He has a plastic baggie! What is he going to do with that? This Batman is a sick, sick man!

Sickman starts scooping up Loverboy's blood from the mat and putting it in the plastic baggie. The crowd starts chanting "You Sick Fuck". WAIT HE'S PUTTING THE BLOOD BAG IN HIS POCKET!

With the bag now safely in his pocket Guppy returns his attention to the match and Vinnie hits him with a Superkick! He covers!





1....










2...








Guppy gets a shoulder up at 2!

Perhaps Vinnie’s blood has given Guppy the stamina of the rock n’ roll megastar. Lane sits up and clutches his hair shaking his head. He gets to his feet and drags Guppy to his, but Parsh with a sucker punch to Vinnie’s kidney and a lift into a Future Suplex, but Lane slips out, he twirls Parsh around and throws him onto his shoulders, Face Up Samoan Drop. Guppy lays winded on the mat as Lane goes to the corner and climbs the turnbuckle, he raises a fist to the crowd and leaps from the turnbuckle for an elbow drop but Guppy gets his knees up and Lane crashes his ribs against them, sending him away clutching his ribs and kicking his feet in pain.

Guppy gets up watching Vinnie groaning in pain and gets to his feet, goading Vinnie to get up while he leans over ready to strike. Loverboy gets a hand on the bottom rope and starts to lift himself to the ground, he rests in the corner for a moment and turns as Guppy charges at full speed and leaps into a spear but Lane barely dodges and Parsh’s shoulder crashes against the steel turnbuckle! Lane grabs underneath Guppy and rolls him into a School Boy pin! Pest slowly begins to count again.






1...










2...







THRE- Guppy barely manages to kickout!

Both men get back to their feet and Loverboy is going for the... No, wait! It's Maverick! He's hopped over the guard rail! The crowd chants at the sight of him.

“ICE – MAAN . ICE – MAAN . ICE – MAAN.”

He looks understandably pissed off and dropkicks Pest outside of the ring! He gives a huge clothesline to Guppy! Vinnie's going to try to fight back going for a high knee but Maverick ducks out of the way.

STINGING NIGHTMARE! Will Maverick finally let this match be?

No, he pulls Guppy on top of Vinnie! And he disappears over the guardrail as Pest is coming to! He goes for the groggy count as he sees the unconscious Guppy on top of the unconscious Vinnie.





1...









2...











3!11

Guppy did it! He retains with the help of Maverick! But wait NO! Lane’s foot was underneath the rope! The pin doesn’t count! Pest shakes the cobwebs and mumbles to himself, looking towards the crowd for Maverick as Guppy rolls off Vinnie as both men start to come to.

These two are certainly worn out at this point and slowly get to their feet, sweat pouring from them as they breath heavily. They lock eyes for a moment and kick at the same time, Vinnie just getting the reach before Guppy, and Loverboy gets him in a hold looking for Black Label Driver! BUT Guppy with an elbow to the back of Lane’s head breaks the hold, Guppy throws a knee into Lane’s gut and STRIKEDEATH!

Guppy goes for the pin and Pest quickly goes for the count!





1...









2...











3!!!


Guppy did it! Guppy did it! Pest signals for the bell and the crowd roars with mixed reactions!

Winner and still RulerOfDaRoad2ExtremeXtremeWORLDChampion Former Dr. Guppy Parsh

Pest hands Guppy his belt, as The Batman’s music plays and he celebrates in the ring. What an awesome win for Guppy and a brilliant showing of Loverboy.

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MAIN EVENT Tag Team Championship Kendall Sawyer & Azrael Erebus - vs - RoboWrestler1 & Derrick Silva Standard Tag, 1 Fall

Robo is about to get into the ring, but the over-enthusiastic Silva tells him he’ll start it off. This brings a smile to the face of Robo who’s suffering a little rust from the beach. Kendall enters the ring with Silva and they tie up. Kendall gets the better however and wrenches his arm beside him before viciously kicking him in the elbow not once… not twice… but three times. She then hits a snapmare and kicks Silva in the back making him begin to tear up. She then mounts Silva and nails vicious elbow strikes to the face of Silva. The referee and Robo can only watch on in exasperation. Silva’s head hits the floor in a groggy state. Kendall leaps to her feet and raises her arms as the crowd cheers on! Silva then rolls over and tags in Robowrestler1! Robo comes in moving slightly slower than usual. Kendall rushes up, but Robowrestler1 punches her in the gut. He places her head between his legs, laughs at the predicament, and then hits a CANADIAN DESTROYER! Kendall’s head spikes into the mat hard! Robo goes for the pinfall!





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2…










Broken up! Azrael ran in and kicked him off.

Robowrestler1 gets up and argues with Azrael. Azrael hits him with STARS’ FALL! The crucifix powerbomb has seemingly knocked out Robowrestler1! Kendall crawls over and covers him.





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2…










BOOM! Robowrestler1 shoots his hand off and grabs the rope! The referee calls off the count! Not sure if that would count, but the referee seems equally confused. Kendall begins arguing with the ref while Robo kips up! He leaps to the turn buckle and launches himself! He twirls in the air for a 1800 degree body splash! Kendall is barely moving! He covers her!





1…










2…










Th-NO! Kickout!

Kendall barely kicks out. Robowrestler1 picks her up and lifts her for a vertical suplex. He walks around the ring before finally dropping her on her head. He throws her off the rope and hits a spinning clothesline as she returns. His top half rotates to return to normal position. He picks up Kendall who throws him off and hits a dropkick into a turnbuckle! Robo looks peeved as he marches forward for a shoulder tackle…

WHAM!!!

Robowrestler1 gets decimated with a REFERENDUM 1! The spike hurricanrana leaves Robowrestler1 a mess in the ring! Kendall begins slowly crawling forward. Robo gets back up and tries to stop her but TOO LATE!

Azrael Erebus has entered the ring.

He rushes forward and hits a big crossbody! Robo is up only to endure a ruthless uppercut! Robowrestler1 is out on his robo-feet! Azrael grabs him and hits DARKEST LIGHT! The spinning neckbreaker variation has left Robowrestler1 dazed and seemingly frozen. He covers him!





1…










2…










KICKOUT! Robowrestler’s program rebooted and he’s fully functional!

Robo gets to his feet and the two men begin exchanging blows! Robo gets the better of it when one of his dislocated fists punches Az in the back of the head! Azrael stumbles forward and Robowrestler’s thigh guns appear! BLAM, BLAM THANK YOU MA’AM! The barrage of rubber bullets hit Azrael all over sending him to the ground in a heap. Robo covers him!





1…










2…KICKOUT!

Barely after the two count, Azrael fervently gets his shoulder up! Robowrestler1 looks in disarray. He stands up and lifts up Azrael preparing for the next move! Robowreslter1 is preparing for Scorpion’s Fatality! Azrael wakes up and hits a leaping punch to the dome of Robowrestler1! He grabs the legs and sweeps him into THE GRAVITATIONAL PULL! The submission move is putting all of Azrael’s weight don on the head while he raises the legs backwards! Silva is on the apron primed and ready! Robowrestler1 shoots his hand forward and grabs the top turnbuckle! Silva tags it and rushes in! Kendall catches him off guard with a roundhouse dropping him like a sack of potatoes. Azrael releases the hold and hits the groggy Silva with a STARS’ FALL! He covers him!





1…










2…























3!!!

Winner and still XWF Tag Team Champions - Azrael Erebus and Kendall Sawyer

Out of the clear blue with no dimming lights or no homoerotic hype, the x-tron flashes to life with the following letters~

D.O.C.A. H.V.P.

And that's all it took for this place to blow! What more need be said when most of these fans already know what those letters mean?

A short, hobbling man with a bunch of warts all over his face emerges from under the tron and has a microphone. He receive a massive ovation!

"Ladies and germs I am THE Troll and I am here to make a very important announcement. The Department of Correctional Assault" [just the saying of that memorable name brings a huge pop from the fans and makes Trolly baby have to wait it out] ......... "has issued the following statement!" [a hush falls over the fans] "Derrick Silva has had his license to live, officially revoked!"

A huge POP!!! Not only from the fans but from Derrick Silva's cranium as the fans lose their shit! He's back! Mr. Proxy has returned to us! A perfect shot with his sniper rifle from up in the front row of the top level balcony has sent a bullet clear through Derrick Silva's skull and his body remains standing, twitching as blood spurts out of the entrance hole and exit hole of the bullet, covering the ring canvas.


SPLAM!!! A combination splat+bam is what just happened because Mr. Proxy was sailing through the air over the fans on a zip line like he was getting ready for an iron man match at WM12 but instead he was just making sure he could smash right into Silva's body before it tipped over, sending it flying out of the ring.

Mr. Proxy releases himself from the zip line and lands in the middle of the ring with a big thumbs up to the fans and that big ass smile he's known for as his perfectly white teeth sparkle in the light. The fans on one side of the arena are starting a thank you Proxy chant while the fans on the other side are going with welcome back chants. They just can't make up their minds!

The Troll walks into the ring and hands Mr. Proxy the microphone.

"I don't think it's any mystery, Johannesburg" [another huge pop, albeit a cheap Foley-esque one] "that I'm back, Mack! Back on the attack and ready to stack! It goes without saying that when Mr. Proxy is in town, people are getting beat down for cash. I'm taking this time right now to announce that I am fully open for business once again!" [fans start a "fuckin' A" chant and he waits a few seconds]....... "The Department of Correctional Assault has cleared me to once again accept paid hits of a transparent and an anonymous nature. That means you can pay me to beat the snot out of some drag queen you don't like, and even tell me to give them a message straight from you while I kick the tar outta them! Or it means you can have your name kept a secret and watch from afar as I lay into some poor sap with my steel toes! What's that you say? You'd like to frame some dick wad for a hit they didn't really want done? Hell, it might cost you a little extra but I'll even do that! Money talks and these boots walk, but when money talks to them they do a lot more than walking if you know what I mean."

The fans are loving this. The Troll presses his thumb to his nostril and shoots out a snot rocket because his wart covered nose was stuffed up and even that gets a huge pop from these fans.

"Consider this my official notice of intent for next week too!" [the fans quiet down just enough to hear him clearly. is he...? could it be...?] "That's right I'm going to Proxify that War Games event like only I can! I'm officially throwing my name into the mix!" [the fans hit the f'n roof! he has to start screaming over them to be heard] "Everybody knows my history is flawless in team matches just like it's flawless anywhere so whoever wants to pretty much be guarandamnteed to win at War Games can just go ahead and pick that win via proxy. That's" [the fans all scream it with him] "Mr. Proxy!......... and I'm back as fuck, Chuck!"

He hands the mic to the Troll who lodges it into his own mouth and then spits it into the fans, which again, receives a massive ovation. Mr. Proxy is back........ as fuck...... even if your name isn't Chuck. Fans continue their chants as Proxy and his trusty sidekick freak show manager the Troll exit through the crowd and Proxy starts autographing the few select good looking women's breasts with a magic marker while the Troll punches random guys in their balls and gets cheered for it.

Another win for Mr. 12/7 while the rest of you continue to suck HIS DICK!

the king and the now 2 time 2 time trios champ reigns supreme once again!!

SUCK... MY... DICK!

3X Star of the Month
Former 3x Hart Champion
Former 13X Xtreme Champion
Former 6X Tag Champion
Former 2X Trios Champion
Former 2x Heavy Metal Weight Champion
Former Universal Champion

Wow... Shocking display after Shades granted me a title shot, not that I felt I deserved it but still... It was my chance and an opportunity

I'm sure you could ask Eli for a shot. He's really good about defending his title often...


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Although after the last time he walked into a cash in I'd venture a guess than any future title defenses will be forced upon him.

Oh and Peter when someone hands you the trios titles like Lane just did you have to actually successfully defend the trios titles to be considered a two time, two time Trios champ. What are you Sebastian Duke?

I might have been giving you some shit, Theo recently for the simple reason... I can.
But you're right about Eli being a reigning and defending Champion, it's like Brock Lesnar in the WWE.
A shocking Champion. A champion should defend the title often and the title should mean something more than just a possession, that's defending it when Eli can be bothered

Don't worry the when we defend our belts I'll show u and these other peasants why I am a 2 time trios champ.

SUCK... MY... DICK!

3X Star of the Month
Former 3x Hart Champion
Former 13X Xtreme Champion
Former 6X Tag Champion
Former 2X Trios Champion
Former 2x Heavy Metal Weight Champion
Former Universal Champion

Peter... You got handed that trio title on a plate. You didn't even earn it.....
Just like you got given a child's lunch box, which again you didn't even earn!
Anyway what do you have in that lunch box? A peanut butter sarnie? A banana? Some chocolate mousse? A bag of beef flavoured monster munch?

you'll see ;)

SUCK... MY... DICK!

3X Star of the Month
Former 3x Hart Champion
Former 13X Xtreme Champion
Former 6X Tag Champion
Former 2X Trios Champion
Former 2x Heavy Metal Weight Champion
Former Universal Champion