((A shirtless “Loverboy” Vinnie Lane and the voluptuous Roxy Cotton are sitting in the front seat of Loverboy’s rented Dodge Charger. Loverboy has his new Galaxy smart phone plugged into the cigarette lighter charger, and seems to be a bit frustrated with the length of the cord as the phone continues to fall out of his hand as he messes around with it. The two are listening to Motley Crue at a loud volume, loud enough that it mutes the muttered cussing that is clearly escaping the lips of Loverboy every time he drops the cell phone. Roxy is sitting in the passenger seat with the eye shade folded down and the vanity mirror propped open, wiggling her curvaceous body in the seat as she purses her lips together and applies a coat of bright red lip gloss. The silver snake skin of her dress adds to the serpentine effect of her dancing, and soon enough Loverboy has forgotten about the phone and is just watching the beauty move to the rhythm. Roxy notices him staring in the mirror and smiles, but doesn’t look away from her own reflection.))

Roxy: Hey there, Loverboy… what are you looking at?

Loverboy: I’m looking at the finest piece of ass in Los Angeles, sitting in the passenger seat of my car without her panties, and thinking about what I’m going to do to her once we get back to the Marquis.

((Roxy grins again and shoots him a sideways glance, quickly looking back into the mirror and beginning to apply some touch ups to her eye shadow.))

Roxy: Mmm, oh really? And what are you planning to do to me, baby?

Loverboy: Sugar, just like in the ring, I’d rather show than tell – if your boy would hurry up and get here then maybe we could get started. Where the hell is he? We’ve been in this fucking parking lot for twenty minutes!

Roxy: I know… I know… he probably had to find somewhere to get the blues, babe, he didn’t have any…

Loverboy: Blues? What the fuck, Roxy? I thought you just wanted to party a little and celebrate me getting the big win on Madness? A little blow, a little ass, whatever. You know how I feel about that junkie shit.

Roxy: Baby, I’m sorry, I just had to. We are going to be celebrating either way, I promise. You looked so hot in the ring on Monday, the way you dropped Harrison on his head and pinned him…

Loverboy: Did you know nobody had done that yet? I mean, I beat him before, but nobody had pinned him. Just me. But I’ve got to go up against Luca again this week, and that dude is no joke. He punched me right in my fucking balls! They still ache, man!

Roxy: I’m gonna make them feel all better, baby, don’t you worry… you just let momma kiss it all better, okay?

((Roxy turns in her seat and props herself up onto her knees, dangling her stiletto-heeled feet back out the passenger window behind her. With a smile, she reaches forward. As her hands disappear behind the dashboard and steering wheel, a distinct zipping sound can be heard.))

Loverboy: Whoa… girl, you are fucking crazy! It’s like the middle of the day, and we’re in the parking lot of a god damn AM/PM waiting for your drug dealer!

((Roxy curves her mouth into a flirtatious pout, then uses one hand to slip the front of her dress down, exposing her delicious, round breasts. With a bite of her lip, she pinches each nipple and shakes herself in Loverboy’s face while keeping her other hand down between his legs. Capitulating, Loverboy leans back in the driver’s seat with a long exhale as Roxy leans forward and puts her face in his lap. Soon, her peroxide hair is bobbing up and down in front of Loverboy as he just places his head on the headrest and closes his eyes.))

Loverboy: Jesus Christ, woman, you are like some kind of blowjob goddess…

((Just then, Loverboy’s phone plays the opening stutter riff of “Welcome to the Jungle,” and Loverboy leans forward just enough to grab at it.))

Loverboy: I gotta check this text, baby, you just keep working.

Roxy: Ith okay, babe… gokk…

((Loverboy’s eyes roll into the back of his head, but he snaps out of it and swipes his thumb across the glass touchscreen of the phone. The screen lights up and Loverboy presses a few buttons, then smiles wide as he reads the text.))

Loverboy: Lizzie Hathaway just sent me the books for next week. Oh hell yeah! Baby, I got it, I’m gonna referee the match between that asshole Pest and Clean Lucena! This is gonna be awesome!

((The phone plays the riff again, and Loverboy’s eyes go wide.))

Loverboy: Damn! And she sent a picture too! I don’t know if those are hers, or if it’s some other chick she’s been going down on recently, but whoever it is looks fucking hot! I can’t wait to chill with her after my match with Luca and Davey Shadows on Monday! You think Lizzie is sexy, Roxy?





Roxy: Mmmmm hmmmmm….

Loverboy: You like it when I talk about other chicks when I’m in your mouth?

Roxy: Mmmmmmm hmmmmm….

Loverboy: Good girl. Man, I’ve gotta call Gilmour and tell him what’s up… he’s gonna be stoked that I get to fuck with Pest! I’m gonna wreck that dildo-headed cocksucker.

((Loverboy dials into the cell phone, then holds it to his left ear while listening to it ring. He moves his right hand down Roxy’s back and to her ass as she continues rising and falling into his lap, pulling her tight skirt slightly up over her hips. Loverboy jumps a little, causing Roxy to pull up and cough for a second, when Peter Gilmour’s voice shouts out of the phone.))

Peter: Leave a fucking message… AND SUCK MY DICK!!!

((Loverboy moves his hand from Roxy’s ass to the back of her bleached blonde head, pushing her face back down as he leaves Gilmour a voice mail.))

Loverboy: Petey! Awesome match at Madness, dude! You kicked that punk Pest’s ass and now he’s your little bitch for a month! That rocks so hard dude… aaaahhhh ahhhhh…

((Loverboy’s eyes squeeze shutand he clenches his teeth for a moment as Roxy starts moving her head faster and Loverboy grips a fistful of her Aquanet hair. He recovers.))

Loverboy: Ahhh… anyway, dude, I’m calling to let you know that I got the ref job for Pest and Lucena next week! We’ve got to get together and talk about how to fuck with him, man. And I’m probably going to get booked against him on the 24th, so you know we need to really have a blast with that one! Anyway man, hit me back, and let me know if you’re coming to Davey Shadows’ after party this Monday. I’m bringing Roxy, and Liz is coming too. It’s gonna be a fuckin’ riot, dude. Congrats again on the win and AH! AHHH FUCKKK FUUUUCKKKKKKkkkkk…

((Loverboy’s body erupts in =to quivering tremors and the muscles in his arm and chest flex as he shoves Roxy’s head down and holds it through a series of orgasmic spasms. After a few seconds of being force fed, Roxy’s hand comes up and starts slapping at Loverboy’s seizing face.))

Roxy: MMMMM! MMMMMM!!!!

((Coming to his senses, Loverboy lets go of the mass of blonde hair, and Roxy pops up gasping huge mouthfuls of oxygen into her lungs. Her wild eyes are smeared with tear-ruined eyeliner as her chest heaves up and down and she swats at the rock n’ roll megastar.))

Roxy: You almost suffocated me you dick!

Loverboy: ((laughing)) Roxy, man, I’m sorry girl, but you know how I lose it when I pop off! Oh, shit, dude, can you imagine when Pete gets that voice mail? Dude’s not gonna know WHAT’s going on! Damn girl, you look sexy with that makeup running down your face…

((Roxy stops wiping at her mouth and playfully shoves at Loverboy as she pulls the dress back up over her chest and sits back down in the seat, turning once again to the vanity mirror.))

Roxy: Baby! My makeup is ruined! And my hair! What the fuck?!

Loverboy: What can I say, I can be an animal!

((There is a sudden rap on the rear passenger window, startling both Roxy and Loverboy, and then a skinny Latino man sticks his head slightly into the open passenger wnidow.))

Roxy: Ricky!

Ricky: Haaaayyyyyy!

((Roxy wraps her arms around Ricky’s neck and kisses him on the lips with a loud smack. While she does that, Ricky drops a couple of small plastic bags into Roxy’s purse, and once she lets go of his neck, Roxy slips a wad of cash into his hand.))

Ricky: Girl, your mouth smells like dick!

Roxy: Doesn’t it always, Ricky?

((Roxy and Ricky laugh as Loverboy shrinks into his seat a little.))

Ricky: Who’s this fine piece of man meat you’ve got driving you to pick up, ho?

Roxy: This is my friend Vinnie… he’s a wrestler in XWF.

Ricky: Oh, shit, I’ve seen you on TV man! I’m Ricky!

((Ricky extends a hand across Roxy’s chest to Loverboy, who smiles meekly and shakes his hand.))

Ricky: You looked hot Monday!

Roxy: See baby, I told you!

Loverboy: Dude, you like wrestling?

Ricky: Hell yeah I do! And you kicked ass in there against Gator, Luca and LH Harrison! That finisher of yours is amazing!

Loverboy: Yeah, the Black Label Driver is a KO punch for sure, dude. If I hit that thing solid it’s an easy three. Those cats definitely left me hurting though, man. I feel like a stripper at a Duke lacrosse party. And I’ve got to get in the ring with that psychopath Luca Arzegotti again!

Ricky: Well, I’m rooting for you, Loverboy… hey, Roxy, I’ve gotta jet. Good seeing you, girlfriend. And good luck Mister Sexy Lane!

((Ricky blows a kiss and walks off, leaving Roxy and Loverboy alone again. Loverboy smiles wide and looks at Roxy, who is going through the baggies in her purse.))

Loverboy: That dude was pretty cool, Rox… I think he liked you though. I saw that little kiss he blew!

((Roxy laughs and looks incredulously at Loverboy.))

Roxy: Are you serious Vinnie? Ricky is totally gay. He was blowing that kiss to you, babe.

((Loverboy looks stunned, and bashfully uses his hands to cover his chest a little.))

Loverboy: What? Aw man… I mean, it’s cool and all, but I don’t swing that way, man. One thing about me is, unlike Pest, I have a completely inviolate butthole.

Roxy: Oh, Vinnie, shut up. Get me back to the hotel so we can be fucked, and fucked up.

((Roxy plants a kiss on Loverboy, then goes back to primping in the mirror as Loverboy licks at his lips like he tastes something bad.))

Loverboy: Huh. So that’s what my member tastes like. Ha! Now I can tell Pest what to be ready for! Lets go, baby…

((Loverboy starts the car up and they drive away.))