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Allianz Arena
Munich, Bavaria, Germany
Warfare introduces the HOTLIST MAIN EVENT concept!
We go to the back parking lot to find John Madison standing by himself with a cardboard sign in his hands, waving it around, and doing chants. The sign reads: "Willkommen, mein Führer"
John Madison: "HEIL 
! HEIL ! ! HEIL !"
All of a sudden, we hear a voice from behind that says...
"Hello, John."
No way... it's...
OZYMANDIAS! -the hell is he doing here? John's chanting and marching comes to a stop as he sees the Madness GM standing in front of him.
John Madison: "YOU?! I didn't invite you to Shane's Willkommen party! Tonight is Shanefest, and you're not welcome to join us. Go back to Paul Heyman, you jew loving bitch. Me and my Deutsch brothers, here in Munich, don't like your kind. We don't want war!"
Ozymandias: "Who said that I'm here to start a war?"
John Madison: "Well, you're from Madness, and you guys are known for your warmongering. Will you just leave, please? You've got a show in boring old Denver to book with boring old Heyman."
Ozymandias: "Well John as much as I would truly love to do that I can't."
John Madison: "Sure you can. Just get back in whatever overpriced car you came here in and drive away."
Ozymandias: "Perhaps I wasn't clear. My mistake. I can't leave because I received a letter in the mail from the boss, he told me that I am to report to Warfare and Warfare only from now on."
John Madison: "What? Why would he do that? He doesn't need you."
Ozymandias: "I don't really know John. You know him better than anyone so why don't you tell me?"
John Madison: "Haven't a clue."
Ozymandias: "I speculate that he is splitting up the duo that week in and week out ran the premier show in sports entertainment. Unfortunately I have no real choice in the matter. Whether that is what Shane is trying to do or not I have no choice but to comply. I want to keep my job. I want to bring Warfare out of the crapper, I want to keep the investors happy and if this show is left to the two of you, well, that would be bad for everyone. So here I am."
John Madison: "I still don't believe you."
Ozymandias: "I had a feeling that would be the case, fortunately for you, unfortunately for me he included a little calling card if you will in the letter."
Ozymandias reaches into his inner coat pocket and pulls out a white envelope that says "Ozyman". He opens the envelope and pulls out a single green asparagus spear. The spear has a brown substance encrusted on the tip. He hands the spear to John.
John Madison: "What am I supposed to do with this?"
Ozymandias: "Give it a smell John."
John moves the spear towards his nose and inhales, a smile comes across his face and then he bites the spear and swallows hard.
John Madison: "That's Shane alright... Well, shit. Just stay out of my way, alright? Shane probably just needs you around to clean his balls."
Ozymandias: Lucky me. Look John before I left Madness I took care of something that was long overdue."
John Madison: You got Heyman a gym membership?"
Ozymandias: No. I signed an agreement in principal to make Monday Night Madness a more family friendly traditional show. All that crazy stuff that you and Shane seem to love will be contained to one show only, Warfare. It will no longer consume the entire federation. If you are a traditional wrestler and your focus is on wrestling then Madness will be the show you want to work on. If you want to rape monkeys while lynching African Americans then do it on Warfare."
John Madison: "Shut up, you're leaking the script for tonight's show. Anyway, I like your style Ozy. But what is Paul going to say?"
Ozymandias: "What can he say? He already believes that Madness is the flagship program, it's built that empire. Now he will have the chance to turn Madness into the most x-treme wrestling show this company has ever seen, getting back to basics but also featuring some incredibly brutal matches, while keeping out much of the filth and questionable material that Warfare will continue to embrace. It's a win win for everyone."
John Madison: "And we still get to have the buried in shit matches on Warfare?"
Ozymandias: "Yes John."
John Madison: "Shit covered ladder matches?"
Ozymandias: "Yes."
John Madison: "Shit covered tables matches?"
Ozymandias: "Yes."
John Madison: "Shit covered chair matches?"
Ozymandias: "Yes, and before you ask, yes, you can even have a TLShit match."
John Madison: "You're a genius Oz. Come and join me as we celebrate his return. He should be here any minute now."
Blake Myles
- vs -
Martin McPherson
Standard Match |
White and Grey dismal tone in lighting at the start of the song "Ghost in the Mirror" by Mallory Knox. Myles comes out walking backwards a little wearing a black hoodie while the hood is up. Myles turns and walks slowly down the ramp, the chorus hits and pyro on stage shoots up. It becomes brighter in the arena. When Myles gets to the ring he climbs to the top rope and poses for the crowd.
Broken Dreams" by Shaman's Harvest hits the speakers and the lights dim. Sparks shower the entranceway as McPherson makes his way through them and down the ramp. His nose in the air, he smirks and ascends the ringsteps, making his way between the ropes. He then climbs a turnbuckle and holds his arms up, talking trash toward the fans.
The bell sounds and the match starts off quickly. The two opponents lock up in the center of the ring with McPherson getting the quick upper hand. He grabs Myles behind the neck and yanks his head down while simultaneously delivering a vicious knee to the face of McPherson and then finishing up with a snap suplex and right into a pin...
1...
2...
Kick out!
Myles kicks out and immediately rolls over and kicks McPherson in the face sending the man stumbling backwards. Myles then does something akin to Booker T and spins himself up to his feet and then goes right on the offensive. Backhand chop followed up with a discus clothesline and then a dropkick which sends McPherson stumbling into the corner. Myles backs himself into the opposite corner and using the ropes for leverage propels himself forward, pancaking McPherson with a Stinger Splash in the corner.
McPherson falls forward face first onto the mat. Myles rolls him over and pins him.
1...
2...
Shoulder Up!
Myles quickly pulls McPherson up to his feet and attempts a follow up move but McPherson counters with a gut punch and then a belly to belly suplex that seemed to take the wind out of both men. Myles is the first man up to his feet and goes right back at McPherson. A DDT and a diving elbow drop later and McPherson is back on the mat looking up at the ceiling. Myles backs away from his opponent waiting for the man to show signs of life. When he finally manages to sit up Myles runs at him and hits him with a shinning wizard and then covers for a pin.
1...
2...
Kick out.
Again McPherson kicks out this time infuriating his opponent. Myles pulls his opponent and throws goes for a Superkick but McPherson somehow manages to roll out of the way but that is all he would manage to do Myles quickly turns around and with a one handed bulldog smashes McPherson's face into the ring. With his hand firmly placed on the back of McPherson's head pushes down as hard as he can as if trying to send McPherson's face through the mat. McPherson starts kicking around trying to break free. The ref eventually sees fit to step in and orders Myles to break the hold, if you can even call it that and after a few seconds more he finally does what he is told and then backs away. He waits for McPherson to finally get to his feet and when he does he sizes the man up and then...
SPEAR!!!
Myles spears McPherson almost snapping the man in two. He hooks the leg and with a smile on his face makes another cover.
1...
2...
3!!
Winner: Blake Myles
Hot Todd & The Crimson Face
- vs -
Woeful & Manu The Maori Warrior
Random Ass Tag Match, 1 Fall |
The Legend of Zelda song plays as Todd walks to the ramp, waves awkwardly and is forced down into the ring by Gator. The Crimson face follows closely behind with no theme song.
Kraken - "I Wanna High Yeah" hits and out walks Bane. Bane jumps straight up into the air and brings his fist into the walkway. He laughs as he walks to the ring. He leaps onto the apron and jumps over the top rope.
The Haka of the All Blacks plays as Manu walks out on stage holding a Taiaha (a wooden spear). He does the Haka on stage, and then runs to the ring, where he jumps in, and starts twirling his Taiaha. Then he hands it to the Official for safe keeping
All four men are in the ring looking at each other. The referee is telling them to pick who is going to start the match. Woeful and Manu ignore the referee's instructions, and both run towards The Crimson Face and Hot Todd! Manu and Woeful start beating on Crimson and Hot Todd, but doesn't appear to be doing a lot of damage. Manu quickly puts Hot Todd out of the ring so they can work a double on Crimson.
"Smart move by Woeful and Manu the Maori Warrior."
Double elbow to the face of Crimson. They continue their double team assault by stomping on Crimson. Hot Todd, who is on his knees on the outside, is watching with his chin on the edge of the ring. A fan starts yelling at Todd to get his attention. He turns and the fan wants to hand him an ice cream sandwich. Todd takes it and starts to eat it while watching his partner get double teamed.
"What the hell is Hot Todd doing?"
"I guess he's eating an ice cream sandwich, captain obvious."
They have Crimson in the corner taking turns throwing punches on him. Crimson starts to time it where he is throwing his own punches in between. Crimson's punching is getting faster! Manu and Woeful are getting dazed! Crimson continues punching both. Hot Todd shoves his ice cream sandwich in his mouth and slides in the ring. Todd takes Manu, while Crimson takes Woeful. They have their opponents in opposite corners going to work on them by punches and kicks. Small pieces of the ice cream sandwich are flying in Manu's face. Todd and Crimson both look at each other.... double irish whip... Manu and Woeful collide and go down to the mat. Todd is on his knees holding his throat.
"OH GOD! HOT TODD IS JOKING!"
Crimson walks over to his partner and doesn't seem to care all that much. He stands Todd up and.. DROPKICK TO THE STOMACH ON HIS OWN PARTNER! The sandwich flies in the air from his mouth. Crimson turns around and starts going back to work on Woeful. Manu slides out of the ring.
Crimson sets up Woeful on the turnbuckle. SUPLEX! Crimson decides to check on Todd, who appears to be doing just fine. Todd goes on the outside apron and places his head on the top turnbuckle. Manu is in his place on the opposing apron.
"Finally. The Tag Team Match is now a normal tag team match."
Crimson whips Woeful against the ropes and a strong elbow that knocks him down. Crimson picks up Woeful and moves him to his corner... tags out to his partner Hot Todd... and in comes Todd... who begins where Crimson left off. Hot Todd is on a hot streak with some fierce punches. Whip against the ropes... clothesline! Hot Todd looks in the corner.. he points... he's climbing! Hot Todd is slowly making his way to the top of the corner... he's looking around... he stands... he leaps.. and connects with a splash!
1..............
2...............................
Kickout by Woeful!
Hot Todd is holding his stomach. He grabs Woeful's leg and drags him back to his corner.. tags out to Crimson. Crimson comes in and starts stomping away on Woeful. Crimson tags back out to Todd and Todd comes in stomping on Woeful! Manu comes in trying to make the save but the ref stops it. Crimson and Hot Todd work together beating the hell out of Woeful. The referee turns around and tells one of them to get out of the ring. Hot Todd gets out. Crimson picks up Woeful and slings him against the ropes... ducks the arm... ducks the elbow.... comes back with a clothesline ..... but misses! Crimson ducks out of the way.
Crimson turns, but it's too late! Woeful makes the tag to the fresh partner... Manu!!!
HERE COMES THE WARRIOR!
Manu is hitting away on Crimson! In comes Hot Todd to stop it, but Manu goes after Todd. Crimson rolls out of the ring. Manu slings Hot Todd against the ropes and... POWERSLAM! Manu isn't done. Manu hits the ropes and.... splash!
1.............................
Quick kickout by Hot Todd! Manu picks up Todd and... once again whips him against the ropes... fireman's carry into a slam!
Woe is standing on the apron with Manu in the ring. Woe steps into the ring and...
WAIT A MINUTE!
Woe spits in the face of Manu before hitting him with a right blow to the face knocking Manu to the mat! He just hit his own partner!
Woe smirks at the fallen Manu and walks out of the ring and looks like he's about to leave the match!
Without warning a man in a black hoodie climbs over the guard rail and kicks Woe right in the face, knocking him down!
The man then pulls the hood down revealing himself as Tommy Gunn!
He then reaches into his pant leg and pulls at a small compact metal pipe which he then uses to lay waste to Woe's face and knees.
CRACK!!
CRACK!!
CRACK!!
Woe's lip and forehead are busted up, crimson blood starting to flow from his face. Gunn starts to mock Woe while he attacks him!
WOEEEEEEEEE!
.... oh shit, were you trying to do something here? My bad!
WOEEEEEEEEEE!
With his work done, Tommy tosses the half blood covered metal pipe onto the ground and walks back up the stage leaving Woe beaten and bloody on the floor.
It looks like Woe was ready to give up on this match anyway, so Tommy Gunn has helped make that a possibility here tonight!
Back inside the ring... Crimson slides in the ring! Crimson is behind Manu!
He locks in I DREAM OF A WORLD SO COLD! His patented sleeper hold! Manu is trying to fight it off but Crimson has the sleeper locked in good. Manu is trying to fight it off.... Hot Todd goes around ringside to where Woe is already down and out, and Todd kicks him in the leg! What a big help, Todd!
In the ring, Manu has no where to go..... he's slowly fading....
The Warrior is trying his best to fight it off but with no help... it's not looking good. He's down to one knee.....
He's down to two knees.......
His arms are moving slower.....
The ref sees Manu is fading out quickly and decides to lift Manu's arm...
The arm falls once!
No response from Manu as the ref lifts the arm a second time....
It falls again!
The ref lifts the arm again....
AND IT FALLS! It's over!
The referee calls for the bell.
Winners: Hot Todd & The Crimson Face
We go to the backstage area where John Madison and Ozymandias have migrated to a small seating area that has a bench and a TV with tonight's show being fed through the screen. John doesn't look pleased with the result of the previous contest.
John Madison: "God damnit, Ozy. Did you see what Tommy Gunn did out there?"
Ozymandias: "Yes, John. I was sitting right here watching the show with you."
John Madison: "Well, then why didn't you go out there and do something about it? I'm pretty sure Shane is paying you good money. Why aren't you doing your fucking job as an official?"
Ozymandias: "I don't see an issue with what went down in the match. This is the show where anything can happen, right? You should be embracing the kind of stuff that Tommy just did."
John Madison: "This is different, Oz. I can't stand Tommy Gunn or his stupid nephew. Did you hear those things that they said about Peter?"
Ozymandias: "To be fair, Peter wasn't exactly being an angel in that little exchange. They'll settle their differences in two weeks anyway."
John Madison: "God, Shane still isn't here. When he gets here, I'm gonna see to it that Gunn is PUNISHED! Or maybe I'll just have his nephew take the punishment for him on the 24th?"
Ozymandias: "You're sick; he's an eight year old kid!"
John Madison: "Yeah well... he's gonna get a lesson in manners!"
Ozymandias: "What are you gonna do?"
John Madison: "I'm adding a stipulation to Christian Gunn vs. Peter Gilmour. In that match, Peter Gilmour can bring ANY weapon that he wants with him to the playground! Christian Gunn, on the other hand, will NOT be allowed to. HAH!"
Ozymandias: "Why, John? What does this accomplish? You know that Peter's gonna use a cheese grater wrapped in barbed wire or something. How can you condone this kind of violence against kids? Little kids, John."
John Madison: "Maybe Tommy will think twice before he interferes next time."
John gets distracted by something on his phone mid-sentence.
Ozymandias: "I'm gonna have a talk with Shane whenever he gets here. I don't think we're seeing eye to eye on some of these decisions, John. What are you looking at anyway?"
John hides away the phone.
John Madison: "Oh nothing, it's just a funny meme that Luca sent me."
Luke Gunnar
- vs -
Blizzard
Standard Match |
Pounding bass drums hit the arena like thunder as "The Enemy" takes over the PA. Luke Gunnar storms out with a violent look in his eye and a smirk on his face. His eyes do not leave the ring as he continues to storm towards it. Once he reaches the squared-circle he wastes no time and leaps up to the ropes and through them into the ring. Luke is ready and roaring for combat as he paces back and forth in anticipation.
The lights dim down in the arena and the fans begin to boo, knowing what’s about to happen next. The ring announcer speaks loud and clearly to announce the arrival of the all-time greatest.
“Ladies and Gentleman, the greatest of all time in XWF and on our planet Earth… Aidan Collins.”
Aidan Collins walks out in a spotlight, wearing a shiny gold robe. The audience’s negative reaction is thunderous and Bliz stands there solemnly, waiting for them to pipe down. When they finally do, his theme song kicks in and he sings with the music along into the mic.
“It may not mean nothing to y'aaallllllll…
But understand nothing was done for meeeee….
So I don't plan on stopping at allllllll….
I want this shit forever man, ever man, ever man!
I'm shutting shit down in the malllllllll…
And telling every girl she the one for meeee…..
And I ain't even planning to calllllll…..
I want this shit forever mine, ever mine, ever mine, ever mine!”
Aidan throws the mic on the ground and starts a slow walk towards the ring, totally pumped up from the most gangster rapper in the game today, Drake. Fans yell obscenities at him, probably out of jealousy because Aidan only preaches the truth. He walks up the ring steps and into the ring before disrobing and giving an orgasm to any female in the audience.
The bell rings! But wait-- the referee is checking up on Blizzard... he appears to have hurt his back. It must have happened while he was removing his robe to give the audience orgasms. Blizz has had back problems in the past, he might have just re-injured himself. The referee is trying to find out of Aiden wants to continue...
But wait-- Gunnar runs up and begins to punch Blizz on his back! Holy shit, he's attacking the muscle/bone that Blizzard might have strained. This is actually a smart move on the part of Gunnar, seeing as how the bell already rang. How unfortunate is this for Blizzard?
Gunnar pulls Blizz out of the corner and Irish whips him back-first into the opposite one.
However, that Irish whip seems to have snapped something back in place for Blizzard as he pops back up with a look of relief on his face. He thanks Gunnar, walks up to him, and takes him down with a lariat!
Blizzard continues to work over the chest region of Gunnar with some stomps. He brings Gunnar to the cneter of the ring and gives him a scoop slam followed by a VICIOUS(!!) curb stomp! Blizzard makes the pin.
1
2
Kiiiiick out!
Blizzard snaps on a headlock as he begins to feel extra confident following that big move and near 3. Gunnar is trying to tuck his chin so that Blizz can't get a good grip on, and eventually the two are both up to their feet. Gunnar powers out of the headlock by pushing Blizzard away and into the ropes. Blizz bounces back and tries for a lariat but Gunnar ducks and gives Blizz a German suplex! Gunnar keeps the waist lock applied, rolls Blizz up to his feet, and gives him a second German suplex!
Gunnar then hits Blizz with a fist drop to the face. He keeps his hand on Blizz's face though, and moves it down into his mouth!
Mandible claw!
We know how big of a germaphobe Blizzard can be. He's got them sweaty sausage fingers of Gunnar being forced into his mouth.
Blizzard is kicking his feet around as he gags on Gunnar's claw hold.
Blizzard manages to roll onto his feet, but he still has Gunnar's fingers being forced into his mouth.
Blizzard is trying to get out of this predicament. He takes his thumb, scratches his balls... and forces that same thumb up into the nostril of Gunnar! Nasal claw! My God, he must have his entire thumb shoved up in there. Gunnar decides that he can't stand another second with the smell of Blizzard's crotch in his nose, and backs away, breaking the mandible claw in the process.
Blizzard then takes out Gunnar with a lariat.
Blizz looks down at Gunnar with a look of disgust on his face, and kicks him multiple times.
Gunnar is now bleeding from his left nostril. Who knows what Blizzard was doing in there...
Blizzard then reaches down and bitch slaps Gunnar, I guess to send a message that what he did to him was unacceptable. Blizzard throws Gunnar into the ropes and bends down to give him a back body drop-- But Gunnar counters with a kick, followed by a DDT! Pin by Gunnar
1
2
Kick out!
Gunnar picks up Blizzard and goes for the Mill City Misery (Hellevator) but Blizzard knees him in the stomach before he can even lift him up. Blizz bitch slaps the shit out of Gunnar again, sweeps his legs, and puts him in the sharp shooter!
Blizzard has excellent positioning with this hold, being in the center of the ring. After about a minute, which must feel like an eternity, in that hold, Gunnar gets to the bottom rope to break the hold.
Blizzard rushes Gunnar as he stands up in the corner, hitting him with a knee to the face. Blizzard then tries to pull Gunnar out of the corner with a fireman's carry, but Gunnar throws an elbow that catches Blizzard in the eyeball. With Blizzard blinded momentarily, Gunnar quickly delivers a spear! Gunnar pins him
1
2
Blizzard throws his foot on the ropes.
Gunnar shoots right back up and goes for an all out assault on Blizzard, punching him in the face while he's still blinded from that elbow strike that caught him in the eye. Gunnar pulls Blizzard to the middle of the ring... AND FINISHES HIM OFF WITH THE HELLEVATOR!
Gunnar with the pin.
1
2
3!
Winner: Luke Gu-
No wait! Blizzard moved his foot under the bottom rope! Technically, that counts as a rope break if his body isn't fully in the ring! I don't think Blizzard even realizes that he did this.
Gunnar doesn't either, he's celebrating...
The referee informs Gunnar that he's not the winner and that the match is still going. Gunnar grabs the referee by the shirt collar and shoves him down to the mat!
ICE PICK! ICE PICK! Blizzard takes out Gunnar as he turned around with the Ice Pick (spear)! Blizzard with the pin.
1
2
3!
No! It wasn't 3. I thought he had him there but the referee says that his hand did not hit the mat.
Blizzard looks like he's about to bitch slap the shit out of the referee now. To be honest, I think everyone wants to bitch slap the official at this point.
Blizzard focuses on his opponent though. He 3-some (3 rolling north light suplexes), but Gunnar rotates his body on the first one and lands on his feet behind Blizzard, what a counter!
Gunnar hits the ropes and runs at Blizzard for a spear, but Blizzard side steps and pushes Gunnar into the ropes... Gunnar bounces back and Blizzard nails him with the Ice Pick! (spear) Blizzard hooks both of Gunnars legs for the count.
1
2
3!
Winner: Blizzard
We go backstage where John Madison is sitting with Ozymandias; both of them in the same area and positions as they were in earlier tonight.
John Madison: "Ugh, Blizzard. Another guy who I can't stand. Seems like he always has something to say about my Peter."
Ozymandias: "'Your' Peter, John? What is he-- your wife?"
John Madison: "Listen to you. You think you can just crack jokes now? For the record, Peter IS like family to management around here. Do you know how many years that man has put in? Who the hell does Blizzard think he is, coming in after a hiatus and bashing Peter like he's any different from all the others? The truth is, Peter is a harder worker and a far better performer than Blizzard will ever be. In fact, I'm starting to think Peter might be the best performer in this entire company! Compared to a guy like Peter, Blizzard sucks and if he's not careful he might end up sucking Peter's dick!"
Ozymandias: "You have to admit though, Blizzard did great out there tonight. Surely he deserves some recognition for that."
John Madison: "Nah, he gets NOTHING! And you know what else? I'm putting together a triple threat match where Eli James IV will defend the Universal Title. Guess who won't even be considered for that match against Eli?"
Ozymandias: "Blizzard?"
John Madison: "Correct. He still has his tag title rematch to worry about whenever he pulls his partner back out of the crack house or wherever he's at, or finds a NEW partner. We can't have Blizzard juggling multiple title shots. But enough about Blizzard, Ozy. Moving right along, can you guess who I'm going to award a bye and advance directly into the triple threat match with Eli James IV for the Universal Championship?"
Ozymandias: "Please, don't tell me it's..."
John Madison: "PETER F'N GILMOUR! Hahahahaha!"
Ozymandias: "What is wrong with you? You're just gonna give Peter Gilmour a title shot."
John Madison: "Give? Peter earned it, you prick. Guys like Blizzard and Tommy Gunn (who I'm not finished with yet, by the way) can eat a dick."
Ozymandias: "Alright, I'm done listening to this. When Shane shows up, I'm calling for a meeting so we can straighten some things out. Goodbye, John."
John Madison: "When Shane shows up? He's been in his office this whole time making love to his potato army. He texted me a photo, and I forwarded it to everyone in the arena. You didn't get it yet? Oh, well, don't walk in on him or you might end up like Miranda Tigris."
Ozymandias shakes his damn fucking head in disgust as he walks off.
John Madison: "Like I said, the match will be Eli James IV vs. Peter Gilmour vs. a contender to be named. We will decide who that third man or woman is on September 24th! So if you want a shot at facing Eli James, you wrestlers better opt in for that show! And yes, Peter gets a free pass. Why? Well, like my friend Luca would say: because fuck you."
Fade out.
Tommy Gunn is seen walking along backstage for his next match against Liz Hathaway. He is cracking his neck in order to toughen himself up for what might be a tough match. As he is walking to ringside, a man dressed in a fine suit can be seen not too far behind him. The well dressed man places a hand on Gunn's shoulder. Out of instinct, Tommy whirls around to punch the man in the face; however, the suited man takes a couple steps back, avoiding any and all physical contact that might've been caused by the man's approach. He throws his hands up into the air and takes a couple of steps back from the agitated hitman turned fighter.
J "Well, Sir Gunn, if you think that I'm of any problem to you, I would've placed my hands around your neck, not your shoulder."
Johnathan Heartsford's voice is picked up from the microphone attached into the camera. He has a shit eating grin on his face, attempting to calm Tommy down and have him not punch his face. Instead, it only seems to make Tommy even more tense and tighten his fist.
"Why the fuck are you standing so close to me? I oughta break your fucking face for even breathing in the same vicinity as me."
J "Easy there, Sir Gunn, I mean no harm. I only wish to offer a proposition."
Gunn lowers his arm, but he is still rather tense towards the knight. Johnathan's eyes widen a bit, but he manages to stand his ground.
"You've got 5 seconds to explain yourself or I am going to use your face for target practice."
The knight clears his throat.
J "I'll make this quick. Knowing that your nephew is going up against Peter Gilmour in a match on Warfare, I feel like he needs to be trained in order to actually stand a chance against him."
"Let me tell you something here fuckface, if anyone is going to train my nephew to kick Gilmour's fat ass it's going to be me, not some fairy like you."
J "I know that you would rather train your nephew, but Gilmour has the height advantage, making your style useless. Besides, he obviously doesn't care if your kid is eight. He's entering a lose-lose situation where he thinks he'll come out on top. The man has the mental capacity of a barnacle for God's sake."
"You would know."
The knight clears his throat again, this time he does so quite loudly.
J "Anyways, what I'm trying to get at is that Gilmour might end up killing your nephew unless he gets some proper wrestling training."
"Once again what in the fuck makes you think you are any more qualified to train my nephew than me? You just want to get near the kid don't you? Yeah that's it. You look like the kind of sick motherfucker that loves kiddie dick. Is that it?"
J "Fuck no; if anyone is a pedophile in this federation, it would probably be Pest. And for one thing, I doubt Christian could hit as hard as you unless he always aims for the groin. For another reason, Gilmour is expecting your nephew to have your style of brutality. I don't think he'll be expecting my style of high flying assault."
"High flying assault? The kids 4 foot 2. And besides, have you even won a fucking match yet?"
J "Yes, I know I don't have the most pleasing record in this federation, but all of the men I fought have known what stiffness truly feels like. Once Gilmour feels how hard a kid can really hit, I doubt he'll wake up for the next day or so."
"If anyone is going to accidentally punch my nephew in the head it's going to be me not some asshole like you."
J "Trust me, I wouldn't hurt a kid. On purpose, or on accident. Once I finish training this kid, he'll be able to humiliate Gilmour in front of the entire roster; even though Gilmour has proven himself multiple times to be a massive idiot anyways."
There is a slight pause, neither one of them utter a word for the next few seconds. Finally, Gunn manages to break the silence.
"You've got one chance at this. If you fuck it up, if you hurt my nephew in anyway I will beat you so badly you'll wish you never even approached me. Are we clear?"
J "You have my word."
Liz Hathaway
- vs -
Tommy Gunn
X-treme Rules |
World Ablaze plays and Tommy Gunn comes out. He makes a shooting gesture with his thumb, fore and middle fingers to various people in the crowd before getting in the ring and then sitting on the top turnbuckle awaiting his opponent. If he is the second to enter than he does all of the previous stuff but instead of sitting on the top turnbuckle he just attacks his opponent.
Fog fills the arena, and when the beat drops, it evaporates and Liz comes out and pumps up the crowd. She then gets on her knees, punches the ground twice, does the cross symbol on her chest, and then gets up. She walks to the ring, pumping the crowd up. She slides in the ring and jumps on the top rope. She then points to the crowd, and throws up a peace sign.
Liz and Gunn stare across from each other as the referee signals for the bell.
Liz and Gunn lock up, and Gunn immediately twists Liz's arm and positions her in the middle of the ring. Gunn then smashes her over the elbow with his own and kicks her on the mat.
Gunn throws Liz into the ropes and catches her with a side slam. He pins her.
1
2
Kick out.
Gunn applies a knee bar on Liz when something catches his attention on stage...
It's... Peter Gilmour! And John Madison!
What the hell are those two doing here?
Peter and Gunn kind of agrees to stay out of each other's business as far as matches go.
John is shouting instructions to Peter as he stares straight ahead into the ring. Once they get close enough, at ringside, we can hear what John is saying to him.
John to Peter: "We wait now! This is a good view right here. Let's just see what he does to this helpless woman. He's a fucking woman beater!"
Gunn shakes his head at the sight of Madison and Gilmour. But wait-- Liz charges in from his 4 'o clock and connects with a running forearm to the ear!
Liz kicks Gunn repeatedly now, keeping him from returning to his feet. She then runs off the ropes and smacks into him with a shoulder tackle! Surprisingly, she had enough momentum behind that attack to cause Gunn to fall between the ropes and land on the outside in front of Madison and Gilmour.
Gilmour looks like he wants to attack Gunn but Madison pleads with him to remain patient.
John to Peter: "Leave him, he's already been humiliated enough from getting tackle by a GIRL! Hahahahaha!"
Gunn gets up to one knee, and stands up to face Madison. He looks like he wants to choke him, but decides to stay focused on his opponent. It's too late though, Liz Hathaway comes flying to the outside and hits him with a suicide dive!
Liz then takes Gunn and gives him a flap jack
onto the steel steps! Ouch! There's no right way to land from a move like that.
Gunn now has a gash that runs down the center of his forehead. He must have hit it on the corner of one of those steps.
Liz applies more damage to that wound by smashing Gunn's face into the steps, repeatedly. The blood has now smeared across Gunn's face.
Meanwhile, Peter and John are laughing at what's taking place in front of them.
But not for long as Gunn begins to fight back with side elbow strikes to the head of Liz! Gunn then kicks Liz, and power bombs her into the barricade wall! He fucking threw her with that move! Gunn is down as well though. He wasn't fully recovered when he launched that attack, he was just fighting out of desperation.
Liz and Gunn are both up at the same time. Liz hits him with a forearm to the gash on his forehead. Gunn retaliates by giving her a European uppercut. Gunn then shoves her back first into the barricade. Gunn takes a few steps back, charges at Liz...
AND SPEARS HER THROUGH THE BARRICADE!
Tommy picks Liz right back up and is setting her up for another powerbomb, but Liz reverses it into a back body drop! And Tommy Gunn lands back-first onto the second and third row of empty chairs in the audience! Thank goodness security cleared out those audience members before that move.
Liz and Tommy are both down again. Liz is hurting from the spear she took, and Tommy's back is in pain from the back body drop.
Tommy climbs up to his feet from the pile of broken chairs that his body crashed through. He takes one of the chairs, folds it up, and hits Liz in the face with it right as she recovered. Liz falls back and rolls back to ringside.
Tommy walks over the collapsed barricade and up to Liz with the steel chair. He goes to swing it but Liz punches him in the balls. That'll bring anyone to an immediate stop.
Liz takes the steel chair away from Gunn and smashes it over his back. She then rolls him in the ring. Liz climbs to the top rope. She might go for the Lizsanity (shooting star leg drop) but no, Tommy Gunn is already on his feet. Instead, Liz jumps off the top rope and takes him out with a hurricanrana. She pins Gunn.
1
2
Kick out!
Liz picks up Gunn, throws him into the ropes, and catches him with a sleeper hold. She won't have much of an advantage using a standing sleeper hold on a man who's almost a foot taller than her, so she hops up on his back and wraps her legs around him as well.
Gunn slowly fades away as the blood still covers his face. Liz makes sure that she rakes her forearm across that open cut while she has the sleeper applied.
Gunn slowly drops to a single knee as both of his arms dangle at his side.
The referee checks his arm...
1...
2...
The referee lifts his arm a third and final time... and Gunn clenches his fist to show that he's still in this match!
Gunn breaks free by grabbing Liz's hair and throwing her over his shoulder and down onto the mat!
Liz gets right back up and tries to knock Gunn down with a side kick to his head. Gunn lets that move bounce off of him though as he comes back at her with a lariat! Gunn reaches down, grabs Liz by her throat, and pulls her up to her feet. He then scoops her up and gives her a tombstone in the middle of the ring! Gunn pins her.
1
2
3333333- no! Kick out!
Gunn rolls Liz up to her feet for the Kill Shot (Jack Hammer), but Liz twists out of it and puts Gunn in a hammerlock. Liz then reaches over his head with her arm and goes for the Thank Me Later (Reverse Twist of Fate), but Gunn reverses that, and turns it into The Kill Shot (Jack Hammer)! Gunn pins Liz.
1
2
3!
Winner: Tommy Gunn
And of course, right after the referee's hand hits the mat, Peter Gilmour and John Madison hit the ring and begin to kick the shit out of Tommy Gunn. John removes his coat and tie as Peter continues to stomp down at the winner of the x-treme rules match. Liz Hathaway does the smart thing and gets the hell out of the ring as John and Peter continue to pummel Tommy Gunn.
John hands his neck tie to Peter.
John: "Camel clutch! Make sure he can hear me!"
Peter Gilmour wraps the tie around Tommy Gunn's neck, and turns him over into a camel clutch, forcing him to look up at our Warfare GM.
John: "This is what happens when you mess with my friends!"
John then smacks the shit out of Gunn's mouth!
Peter releases Tommy Gunn who collapses to the mat. John wants Peter to inflict more damage though. He wants to send a message to Christian Gunn.
Peter takes Tommy Gunn into the center of the ring and gives him the Death Strike! (Package Pile Driver)
![[Image: steen-v-omega-package-piledriver-o.gif]](http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view6/4763625/steen-v-omega-package-piledriver-o.gif)
While Peter was doing that, John was on the outside going for another object. He reenters the ring and now he's carrying the King of the XWF crown. He must have dug that up in the XWF vault. John places the crown on Peter's head and takes a microphone.
John Madison: "Ladies and gentlemen, your future Universal Champion: PETER GILMOUR! And Tommy Gunn, you should expect your nephew, Christian, to get his head caved in on the 24th just like you did tonight. You and that idiot Knight can talk all you want about how Peter got himself into a 'no win' situation. The way I see it though, Peter is the luckiest man on earth. He gets an opportunity to legally beat the living hell out of some little shit head. It's funny how you refer to Peter as an idiot when you put your nephew in a match with a man who might as well be a certified lunatic. What-- you can't fight your own battles? Come on! Get up and fight so that I don't have to unleash this demon on your little nephew. Get up and fight Peter like you said you would!"
Gunn remains down on the mat, soaked in his blood. Clearly he's in no shape to compete right now.
John Madison: "That's what I thought, Tommy. You had your chance to fight Peter and save 8 year old Christian, but you'd rather stay flat on your back. Pussy. Get this piece of shit out of my ring! Oh, we still have a main event, don't we? Well, as promised... here's Shane !"
The X-TRON flickers to life and the fans give a mixed reaction as Shane Anonistrator appears from his office, in the building, but via satellite, surrounded by potatoes that have condoms pulled over them.
Shane: Hello everyone! I trust you have all been enjoying the show? I just wanted to take this time to personally congratulate Mastermind and LH Harrison for completely out shining the rest of the Warfare locker room this week!
There is a generous reaction from the crowd although some are confused.
Shane: That's right! This was the week we introduced the HOTLIST MAIN EVENT which stated that we'd see whichever match generated the most attention through their promos all featured as the main event of the evening!
I sat back, watching and waiting, wondering if somehow most of the roster was blind and deaf. Did they not even realize what had been announced? Where were they? Where was the passion? But then I saw Mastermind and LH Harrison spring to the front of the line when they both gave everything they had all throughout the week in an effort to entertain you shithead fans!
A brief moment of cheer followed by booing as soon as the fans realize they just got called shitheads.
Shane: I'd also like to publicly recognize the team of Hot Todd and the Crimson Face for not waiting until the last possible minute to entertain us, but in order for a match to WIN the hotlist main event spot, ALL parties in the match have to be on top of their game... so Hot Todd and Crimson Face can thank Woe and Manu for dropping the ball there!
The fans start to boo as Shane takes a bite out of a potato that was half sticking out of its condom wrapper.
Shane: Mmmm, delicious! Now without further ado, let's welcome the participants of the MAIN EVENT! I'll be watching from the back, guys. Let's see who can win this submission match! And since the tag team match earlier this evening was almost the featured main event, the special HOTLIST PRIZE MONEY will be divided up among the WINNERS of that tag match as well as both members of this exciting submission main event! NOW LET'S GET READY TO WATCH SOMEBODY TAP OUT!
Shane vanishes from the screen as our main event is set to begin.
MAIN EVENT
Mastermind
- vs -
LH Harrison
Submission Match |
THE MONSTER by Rianna and Eminem hits the speakers!
The lights go out, and then when they come back on Mastermind is seen standing on the top rope waving to the crowd!
A few moments later WHISPERS IN THE DARK by Skillet hits the speakers!
Smoke flows out from the stage as LH Harrison descends upon the main stage from the rafters above with his arms outstretched a huge smile upon his face. He hits the stage and looks around smiling. He walks to the ring, climbs the turnbuckle, extends his arms out, closes his eyes, and smiles broadly.
The fans are all smiling too.
What's with everybody SMILING right now? Even the referee is smiling.
Mastermind and LH Harrison wait in their respective corners as the referee signals for the bell and this match is underway.
Both men lock up and Mastermind gets an early advantage with a quick headlock. LH tries to pull away but Mastermind increases the pressure and the ref is asking LH if he gives up.
Wow, imagine if this submission match ended this soon! From the first hold!
LH wags his finger "no" and then backs Mastermind into the ropes, using the momentum to send Mastermind across the ring into the far ropes and as Mastermind runs back at him, LH catches him with a huge spinebuster. With Mastermind down, LH looks to be attempting a to lock him in some kind of submission but Mastermind rolls out of it before it can be applied. Mastermind back up on his feet now, charges LH but LH ducks under it and then catches Mastermind with a stiff European uppercut as soon as he turns around. LH backs Mastermind into the corner with another European uppercut and then backs up a few steps, dashing forward with a huge running knee strike to... NO! Mastermind sidestepped and LH smashed his knee into the turnbuckle!
Mastermind kicks LH's leg out from under him, drops an elbow across the chest and then gets LH in a grounded headlock. The ref checks the hold but LH is nowhere near ready to submit. Mastermind smiles as he grinds away on LH with the grounded hold, slowly getting to his feet and bringing LH up with him before turning it into a sick DDT! Mastermind doesn't even wait for a split second before pulling LH back up from the canvas and hitting another DDT! He pulls him back up... A THIRD DDT!
Mastermind grabs LH's arm, pulls at full strength bringing LH's entire body back up and forcing him into a crushing armbar takedown... and Mastermind keeps the armbar locked in!
LH is in a lot of pain, grunting and using all his might to try and fight out of the hold and reach for the ropes.
The ref leans in to check the situation but LH screams NO at the ref as he uses every bit of strength to somehow reach the bottom rope and the ref calls for the break.
Mastermind quickly breaks and pulls LH to the center of the ring, dropping down on him to apply another hold but... WAIT! LH rolls Mastermind right into an armbar of his own!
Mastermind ends up close enough to the ropes that his leg easily drapes across the bottom rope, breaking the hold and LH gets up to deliver a few quick stomps before pulling Mastermind up and hitting a huge tiger suplex. LH waits in position as Mastermind slowly gets back up and LH takes him back down with a swinging reverse DDT. He transitions it straight into a seated dragon sleeper!
It's locked in tight!
Mastermind tries to fight out of the hold as LH increases pressure, and Mastermind is finally able to bring his knee up to catch LH right in the head and break the hold. What incredible flexibility shown by Mastermind!
Mastermind gets to his feet and blocks a forearm from LH, lifting a knee into LH's gut and then irish whipping him across the ring and catching the returning LH with a leg sweep that sends LH crashing down. Mastermind pulls LH back up and whips him hard into the corner turnbuckle, causing LH to stumble back toward him after hitting it and Mastermind hits a huge back body drop. Mastermind drops a leg across the throat of LH and then drops a series of elbows to his weakened foe, not even going for a submission again at this point. Instead, he pulls LH up and drives him right back down with an inverted DDT before delivering another huge leg drop... and another... and another! Now Mastermind bounces off the ropes to gain momentum and leaps up, dropping his knee right into the chest of LH Harrison.
Mastermind looks out into the crowd and many of them cheer, yelling at him to finish it!
Mastermind backs up into the corner and just waits, keeping his eyes locked on LH Harrison who is moving very slowly and starting to push himself back up to his feet...
Just as LH turns toward Mastermind... he gets caught with the Mind Changer! Mastermind landed his patented flying clothesline perfectly!
Mastermind wastes no time following up with THE MIND SLEEPER!
He has it locked in tight!
The ref checks out the situation but LH has his arms flinging around wildly and is trying to escape.
Mastermind increases the pressure and keeps the sleeper locked in tight as LH begins to fade away unusually fast and ALREADY has gone completely limp???
Mastermind releases the hold, allowing LH to slump to the canvas and he signals to the crowd for THE MIND CONTROLLER!
He stands over the lifeless LH Harrison and bends down to grab his legs...
WHAM!
A stiff kick to the face from LH! He grabs Mastermind's ankle and twists it, forcing him down face first! He must have been playing possum! He knew exactly what Mastermind would go for after he thought his sleeper hold wore him down enough!
With Mastermind face down, LH lifts Mastermind's ankle high into the air and SLAMS his leg back down into the canvas knee first. He delivers a few more of these crushing knee smashes before peeling Masterming up from the canvas as fast as he can and hitting FROM A PLACE OF HOPE! (Fireman's Carry Gutbuster. Picks his opponent up onto his shoulders, flings them forward onto his shins as LH falls on his back)
The fans are on their feet as LH wastes no time pulling Mastermind back up and getting him locked into THE SECOND FALL STRETCH! He's got his variation of the Gory Special applied perfectly as Mastermind is being bent almost completely in half!
LH lets out a scream as he keeps the weight of Mastermind on top of him and bends forward, applying maximum pressure as Mastermind shakes his head "no" rapidly with the ref checking for the submission!
Mastermind looks back and forth and is writhing in pain, unable to move as none of his limbs are even touching the canvas!!
LH's face is turning red as he uses every last ounce of strength in him to nearly break Mastermind in two over his back and after a few more seconds...
Mastermind has no choice but to submit! LH Harrison has done his homework and it has paid off here tonight! He drops Mastermind off of his back and LH collapses forward into the ropes, using them to pull himself back up as the referee raises his hand in victory here tonight.
Winner: LH Harrison
LH Harrison soaks the moment in as he continues to raise his arms in the air in victory! He can't believe he's won! It's his first singles victory!
LH Harrison suddenly stops celebrating and turns around to stare at Mastermind's prone body. LH Harrison walks over to him and stares at him. Suddenly, LH Harrison jumps on Mastermind and begins throwing punch after punch into the temple of Mastermind. Blood begins oozing out of the head of Mastermind!
LH rubs his finger through the blood and rolls Mastermind over onto his belly. He draws a number one on the back of Mastermind with the blood from Mastermind's head.
Harrison: I told you that you were number one on the list, Mastermind. I told you!
LH Harrison rolls out of the ring and stares at the ring as he leaves, many of the fans booing him and tossing trash at him now after his sickening display. Talk about a sore winner!
![[-]](https://xwf99.com/images/portal2/collapse.gif)
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RE: Wednesday Night Warfare 9/10/14 -->
