"Welcome back, Ivan Vaust." Came the sultry and seductive croon of a woman I hadn't seen in ages. Katarina DeWitt, my old high school flame. Still as feisty and willing to do whatever my depraved mind conjured up. Things we spent a better portion of the afternoon doing and things I will gladly continue doing. Later. For now, I needed to get a little high. Or a lotta high depending on where you're swimming in the sea of drugs.

"Why thank you Kat, you sexy minx you." I say before biting down on the end of my belt, my teeth gripping it as I pull the belt tight and slam a needle into the hungriest vein I see. Which is all of them but I settled for the biggest, easiest target and went for that one. I also realize this is a tremendously vile setting for a first glimpse of me but as the plunger of that needle pushes inward, I really stop giving a fuck. A transition that coincides with my body crashing backwards onto the disheveled bed behind me.

"You've been gone a long time, y'know?" Katarina states with a slight touch of hurt hinting at her voice as she crawls over to me. Resting her head on her hand as she lounges next to me. Her leg curling around mine and her free hand trailing downward, where it found a place of rest that'll ensure even less concentration from me if she's looking to have a conversation. I hope that's not what she wants. I didn't come here to talk. If I had my way I'd never be back in this shit hole of a town but I am and I might as well have some fun before reality reminds me that I have to deal with it.

"I know." I reply quickly as I intentionally turn and kiss her, hoping that this act derives all thoughts from any further chit chat. Damn I knew I shoulda let her shoot up first. Or at all.

"So what happened? I thought you were off to blaze trails and make it big? Now you're back and we're doing what we did fifteen years ago. What gives?" Katarina questioned through my attempt causing me to sigh through a growing cloud of haze. Maybe I'd pass out and still be able to avoid this fucking bullshit. One can hope, right?

"Well love, you were the one who spotted me leaving the airport, made it know you saw me and then proceeded to take on a hands on approach that required little to no talking. If you were so curious about what was going on with me, you shoulda asked way before you dropped your panties." Those words even felt dry leaving my gullet and the scene was about to get even drier as I fired up a cigarette. "What gives is that I'm back and I wanted to have a good time. You made the job easier for me. Thanks!" A hearty half grin followed by a thumbs up that gets me smacked as Katarina grumbles "Asshole."

"Hey now. I'm a creature of habit. You should know if I was an asshole when I left, I'd be an asshole when I returned. Could be 2 years or 20 and chances are I'd still be a fuckin' asshole. It's your own fault for assuming differently." A drag from my cigarette. "But since I'm fucking high and only rising... fuck it. I'll tell ya what the deal is about why I've come back." Smoke cloud. "I went to college to become somebody and ended up... becoming nobody. Got a job. Lost it. Got another job. Succeed and then lost it. Eventually that caused me to get kicked out of my oh so grand loft. Heavy emphasis of sarcasm on the 'oh so grand part'. I'm pretty fuckin' high right now and losing touch with my tones here. Anyways, no place to live cause ya need money in order to have that, no job and a couple other issues that shortly came after all that landed my ass on a plane and now I'm here. Fucking you and doin' dope. Just like old times! Except you aren't doing any dope! You fucked me and now you're asking me questions like we're a thing when we're just two people who used to be a thing... who hooked up."

She looks hurt but I'm floating so high above this room I can't even pretend to care.

"A lot has changed for me since you've been gone. I figured you might have changed too." She states with a quivering lip that she immediately pulls in line before spurting out. "I guess I was wrong."

"I guess so. You haven't seen me in fifteen years and when you do, we immediately fuck. If that doesn't scream failure to spiritually and emotionally grow I don't know what does. But you went along with it and even initiated stuff so I guess you haven't changed much either." I sit up, try to put my pants on and fail, so I sling them over my shoulder and stand up. "I should probably go." Yep. Naked. You guessed it.

"You can't leave. You're not wearing any pants. Or any clothes at all for that matter." She saying these words in an angry tone but at the same time she can't help but laugh. Out loud and a lot.

"I don't see an issue here as long as my legs work I'm good to go." Then, happening almost like it was done on cue my legs gave way and the floor came up to greet me. Hello floor.

"Great plan." She laughs again."Glad to see it worked out for you. Look since this is your place. Correction. Your brother's place. I'm going to leave cause not only can I put my clothes on but I can also walk on my own accord. Two things you can't do. Hey but you know what, you opened my eyes and made me remember why I grew to be so glad that you left." Katarina said accompanied with a flash of clothes that seen her dressed and standing over me as she smirked. "Thanks for the sex though." A deeper more spiteful burst of laughter. "Don't call me or try to find me cause I'm going back to thinking you're dead." Bitch. "Oh and by the way, you have a kid that you'll never see." Wait. What was that last part? Fuck. I'm already out. Gone and traveling off to another world. One that isn't inhabited by fucking cunts. Did she say I had a kid? Nah. That couldn't have been it.

Whatever her last words were, they were soon forgotten and replaced by a distant land. A place where I stood on the cusp, near two overlooking hills. I stared up in wonder as two completely different scenarios existed simultaneously. On one cliff there was a lavish field full of greenery and life and on the other was a barren wasteland of decay and rot. Both faced each other, so close and yet so far apart. Perfectly symmetrical but polar opposites at the same time and there I was stuck in the middle. In awe I could do nothing but gaze upwards and witness it all. It was wretched and glorious at the same time and I could do nothing but behold them as they looked down on me like warning sentinels of things to come. I was so enamored by the sight, that I didn't notice I wasn't alone and didn't realize there was another until I was spun around. Pivoted in order to face myself. That's right. Myself. Except with pupils that widened and darkened out the eyes and a big, crooked smile that stretched on for miles. Or so it seemed. I stared into my own empty pools of black and watched as I stared back at me in their reflection. I was afraid, motionless and mesmerized in the wake of myself. So much so that when a knife plunged into my chest I didn't look down until after the fact. When blood seeped out of me in long streams of crimson and I dropped to my knees. Even with death looming so close it was all so amazing. A beautiful divinity that pulled me deep into total oblivion. Where I plummeted into an abyss of nothing. Staying snug in an endless void of nothing. Until I woke up. Screaming. Needless to say when I came to my reaction wasn't one that was expected and both parties meeting at this juncture were equally surprised.

"Jesus! Ivan! If I knew this was how I'd find you, I would have picked you up from the airport." My brother Jasper. I was in his home and I was still naked. A factor that I didn't tend to until after I lit up a cigarette. Choosing to rise up and strut; Keith Richards style, across the room before I even attempted lighting the cigarette. A smirk semi-dangling from my lips as I watched my brother's disgust. First directed towards the sight of me and then directed at the huge burn in the rug. A burn that must have been from the cigarette I had previous to my blackout adventure. One that made a hole straight on through to the woodwork too. His distaste amused me but I finally put on pants just the same.

"Guess this is what happens when you invite a drug addict/alcoholic into your home. Don't beat yourself up though. Hindsight is only twenty, twenty." I take a drag from my smoke and freefall backwards into a sitting position on the bed. My body slamming into the mattress, immediately calling for Jasper's attention and resulting in an instant. "Fuck you!" And I won't lie. I deserved it.

"You call me up cause you're not only jobless and homeless but you're also facing court mandated out patient rehab. Then you tell me that you need someone they can rely on. That they need someone to provide information about your status and well being in order for the whole thing to exist in an out patient form. You need a sober and reliable guardian to sign your life over to until your stint in rehab is over and they deem you not only clean but also sound of mind and mentally competent enough to be able to live on your own again. You say you want to turn your life around and clean your shit up and I agree to let you come and live with me, only for you to do this. Nuh-uh Ivan. No ways. This isn't going to fly under my roof and you sure as shit better believe it won't be allowed back at mom and dad's, who would probably send you off to a state run facility rather than take you in. Now I get coming back here is tough but you gotta toe the line and not fuck up cause now you're bringing the wrath of all that crap down on me when you do. You were signed over to me, making you my responsibility. God damn it Ivan, are you even listening?"

His question rips my eyes from the cherry on my cigarette and I nod. I have no idea what he said but I nod just the same. Whether he buys it or not, he starts talking again. "Do you want to get your life together or were you just dicking me around when you said that cause I'll throw your ass right back in the gutter and then you can be the state's problem if that's the case." That time I heard him and what he says is true but my voice gets caught in my throat as I try to express this and what comes out is a half croaked. "No." Followed by my back colliding with the surface of the bed as I exhale a cloud of smoke.

"I'm not dicking you around and I was serious. Please don't toss my ass out. I'm sorry. I fucked up. It won't happen again." I shudder and proceed to suck down more than half the cigarette in a solitary drag as I hear Jasper sigh. "I'm sorry... won't cut it. Only drastic change will. If you do something like this again, I'll have no choice but to relinquish our agreement. Understand?" His words are like ice. Chilling. Real. With a tremble I acknowledge them with a nod.

"Good." He smiles. "On a more pleasant side, I pulled some strings job wise and I not only got you a job but your first day of work is tomorrow. First step to getting clean is ridding you of idol hands. They are the devil's playthings after all. Anyway this job will not only do that but you'll also be able to get some of that pent up aggression that junkies face when coming clean off your chest."

"What's the job?" I say, filling my lungs with another burst of nicotine while anticipating the worst.

"It's in televised wrestling."

"What?" He's gotta be shitting me. That can't be a real thing that I'm being pushed into. "Televised wrestling. I had a guy who knows a guy pull some strings and you're in. Your first fight is on Monday. Aren't you excited? I remember you were so into wrestling when we were kids. You even joined the wrestling team in high school. Remember? Now you can do it legit and get paid. Holy fuck he was serious!

"Uh, I can't do this. I haven't gotten into a real brawl in years."

"You have had some training though. You know from the old high school wrestling days."

"Oh my fucking god! There was never any wrestling team!"

"But you had Dad pay for a uniform and you went to meets."

"Did I?"

"Didn't you?"

"Did you actually see me wrestle?"

"No but you asked for the money."

"Exactly and I spent it on pot. Sometimes I'd get into a couple of fights around school in order to look like I had an actual match but I didn't actually wrestle. Why the fuck would I participate in that shit?"

"After some of the stuff you admitted to doing that one time we talked on the phone; 4 years ago and at Christmas, I don't think you have room to judge."

"Fuck you I didn't admit to anything." Did I?

"See! This is why you need to clean your act up! Now regardless of what you did or didn't do in high school, you're in. You've got a job with the XWF and your first fight is tomorrow. I really got some favors delivered in order to get you this opportunity. The least you could do is be grateful."

"Grateful? You're sending me into a beat down. I'm gonna get my ass kicked."

"Guess you shoulda thought of that before you lied about being on the wrestling team in high school."

"What the fuck?!?! Are you sure you're not high? I couldn't possibly have known that would have any merit now!"

"Lies have repercussions. If you didn't lie, we wouldn't be here."

I don't even have words for him, I just exhale a cloud of smoke and stare up at the ceiling.

"Hey a lot of those guys went in with zero no how or experience. You'll just have to learn on your feet like they did."

"How many of them died opposed to learning and succeeding." I really don't know why I asked. I know it's pointless. I might as well not even listen but for some reason I do.

"I don't know. I'd have to look into that." His answer hurts my head and I instantly craved a release from it. Almost as if sensing this, Jasper reached over and dug into the front pocket of my pants. Pulling out a baggie containing the remnants of the heroin I had left. "I'll take that. Gotta show up for work and you can't do that if you're on another planet."

"I hate you." My voice cracked and I felt deflated. Just utterly fuckin' flat. Like I had been rolled over by a steamroller. Jasper was in better spirits and relayed them with a chuckle as he strolled out of the room. "That's good. Use that aggression and maybe you won't get killed in your first match." Fuckin' bastard.