Pest is standing in an office looking out a window. The world below him hustles and bustles beneath his feet as he contimplates his position at the current moment. Things have made him different, special, powerful. These things were, of course, before the change happened. Now, he was more powerful, so powerful he could not be stopped. He slowly spoke, words escaping at a pace as if snails were drawing them from his mind.

Mr. WGWF:Mr. James. I will ask you one more time, give me the information I wish to possess, or my young friend will show you what she does with staplers.

He turns to his left and sees a man tied to a chair with Barbie standing next to him holding a stapler to his head.

Mr. James:I don't know what you're asking about. What do you want from me?

Mr. WGWF:Wrong answer. Barbie, dear.

Without a word Barbie presses the stapler to Mr. James' ribs and releases a tiny piece of zinc plated steel into his body. James released a howl in agony as Barbie places the stapler against his abdomen and releases another staple.

Mr. WGWF:Wait, Barbie. I'm sure that Mr. James will be glad to tell us the combination to his safe. Won't you, Mr. James?

Mr. James:If I knew what you wanted to know I'd tell you. Please!

Pest waves his hand and James starts choking and gasping for air.

Barbie:He can't breathe. Did some thing happen that I missed?

Mr. WGWF:Just Mr. James agreeing to give me everything I choose to know. Isn't that right, Francis?

Mr. James nods, and suddenly his gasping slows, and his breathing becomes labored, then slowly returns to normal.

Mr. WGWF:Good man. Now, what is the combination?

Mr. James: 10 29 29.

Mr. WGWF:Black Tuesday? You put the combination to your safe as Black Tuesday. Clever. Now, you've served your purpose.


He waves his hand again, and Francis starts choking and gasping again. Pest walks over and unties Francis James, who immediately grabs his throat and begins clawing at himself. Trying to get air. His face begins to turn blue, and soon he collapses in a head on the floor.

Mr. WGWF:Barbie dear, what time is it?

Barbie:It's 10.30 in the morning? Why?

Mr. WGWF:That is Mr. James' time of death. Don't watch, dear. The Death Rattle will soon come.

Barbie:What did you do to him?

Mr. WGWF:This morning, I awoke with the strangest sensation, and upon testing myself I discovered I was gifted with the ability to remove the air from things and places, return it as well. Coincidentally, I learned an important life lesson, dear girl. Everything is a dildo if the girl has but the courage to insert it.

He walks near Mr. James' desk, picks up a cactus and examines it before throwing it to Barbie.

Mr. WGWF:Such as this. Girl, do as I say and insert this. I'm sure it will give you mass amounts of pleasure.


She looks the cactus up and down, and then again.

Barbie:No. I'm not inserting a Cactus into myself. Why would I?

Her eyes strayed from the Cactus and met his.

Mr. WGWF:Because, my dear. As I told you, everything is a Dildo. Everything. Now examine it again.

She looks back down and to her amazement what once was a Cactus is now a dildo, pink and ribbed for her pleasure.

Barbie:And this is something I would use.

Mr. WGWF:Not now, Dear. We have more important things to do.

He gestured towards the elevator, which had just opened and young girl in her early twenties stepped out. Barbie jolted into the elevator while the woman ran towards James' body, ignoring Pest. He walked right passed her none the less, and placed a hand upon her shoulders, which caused her to start gasping for air the same way that James did.

Mr. WGWF:You shall be joining your father soon, Girl. Do not fret.

Pest stepped in the elevator and watched as she too collapsed on the body of her father as the door shut. The elevator stopped at the third floor, and a group of Asian men stood before the door when it opened. They stared at Pest, and with a wave he turned one of them into a large dildo and the door shut. Barbie felt the sensation of the air being drained from her lungs, very slowly. Then slowly getting added back in. She liked the feeling, longed for it.

Barbie:Pest, baby. Did you slowly drain the air from my lungs, then refill them?

Mr. WGWF:Yes.

Barbie:Can you do it again when we make love next?

Mr. WGWF:Maybe. Right now, we have other priorities.

The door opened and they stepped into the lobby. Eyes raised, and caught Pest and Barbie making their way through the lobby. A guard blocks the door and tries to stop them from leaving. Pest waves his hand and the Guard throws his hands to his own face in pain. He tries to scream but no sound escaped his lungs. Pest shoves the guard to the ground and walks over him outside. He extended his arm and assisted Barbie in stepping over the body.

Barbie:What did you do to him?

Mr. WGWF:As I said, everything is a dildo, even his eyeballs. And oddly the dildos seemed to have impaled his cerebral cortex.

Pest gestures across the street where a bank is located. Barbie looks at the bank confused for a second, and then something seems to click.

Barbie:We're robbing the bank?

Mr. WGWF:Yes. Our boss asked us to, and we always follow his orders.

Pest waved his hand in the air, and used his other hand to pull Barbie across the street with him.

Mr. WGWF:Tell me if anything is moving in the building.

She pressed her nose against the window and looked inside the window. No movement. Everyone was laying down, and still.

Barbie:No, they're not moving. What did you do? Did you kill them?

Mr. WGWF:Some of them suffocated. Some of them had their hearts replaced with Dildos. Does it matter? We need to walk in and take something.

Pest waves his hand and walks through the front door, stopping to pick keys off the corpse of one of the security guards, and then straight to the back. Barbie goes around the lobby looting the corpses of all the women, searching for jewelry and purses.

Barbie:Hey! Baby! This girl has a Coach purse. Can I take it?

Mr. WGWF:If you want, take anything you like, my dove.

He makes his way to the safety deposit boxes where he finds Mr. James' box. 10-29-29, and it's open. Inside the safe is a large collection of money. Sitting atop the money as if it were a throne, an old and worn leather book. The gold leafing on the cover was worn and mostly gone. Pest grabs the ledger, and leaves the cash.

Mr. WGWF:Barbie, doll. We must make haste. We've fetched what we came for, and must make our escape.

The pair walk casually out of the bank and down the street, where they pass a few cop cars. It will be a while before anyone notices the bank heist.

---

Oh, good Doctor. Paging Doctor Validity. We would appreciate it if you could show up and actually make a difference in this match. Yes, you do cut a promo, but it was just mindless nonsense. The usual we'd expect from someone like you. Someone pretending to be the real Mr. XWF. But you're not, are you? You're an impostor hoping the world never catches on to your sly trickery. The real XWF would provide something worth paying attention to. All you've provided is reasons why this company is going to go under. If you're their name bearer then all hope truly is lost. Look at you, wearing some other man's skin tight pleather suit, putting your head in his sparkly helmet as if you were even close to his equal.

And Stella, the thing you need to remember is that we all saw you raped him to death. So, you raped a man to death, and stole his clothes. And you expect us to fear you, or respect you? You, a worthless rapist who wants to be someone so hard you won't even clean his uniform before using, and tried to get his contracts fulfilled even though he's dead. You're not a person worth the time of day. And yet, I challenged you. Why did I do that? Because I was unaware that you were a cheap imitation of my old foe. You disgust me. You really do. Get out of my sight.