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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » Relentless Day 2 (August 23rd) PPV RP Archive
Do you even listen to the words coming out of your mouths? Because I do.
Author Message
Kendall Savannah Sawyer Offline
Repetition is the key to success.



XWF FanBase:
Mixed reactions

(cheered heavily at home; hated by some; dips between clean/dirty)


#1
08-22-2014, 09:51 PM


Seriously, I think that when it comes to the idiotic drivel that spews out of their mouths, both Liz Hathaway and Kristy Jackson are completely and utterly deaf. Either that, or they lack the basic mental processes to realize that everything that they said has been devoid of any logic. Instead, they were the delusional ramblings of two mentally deficient histrionics who believe that holding onto the belts will give them the divine intervention they'll need to have the slightest bit of a chance at actually earning those belts they hold hostage. Though, even with God on their side, they're going to find themselves incapable of lacing up their boots right, let alone getting in the ring and beating Azrael and I. Between them, they can't even form a defense to anything I said. It boiled down to desperately repeating; "Ha! Well, we have the belts and you don't!" or in Kristy Jackson's case, sounding legitimately . Obfuscating stupidity? No, just her average level of intelligence on display for everyone to see and gawk at. Exposing just how empty her head is, much to the delight of idiots everywhere, who look at your level of notoriety as a godsend. An excuse to make, echoing across the reaches of the world: "At least I'm not as dumb as her".

It's almost sad. Almost.

Let's start with you, Kristy. Seeing as how I did just bring you up and how the gray matter soup you have sloshing around inside your head will cause you to forget and be confused if I started with Liz and worked my way back to you.

How about we take it from the top? Okay, that means from the beginning. Try your hardest not to swallow your own tongue if you understand.

No one's wondering why you did it. Everyone knows, you don't have to poorly explain yourself. It's because you wanted the slightest bit of validation, to prove to yourself that you can do something. Not earn anything mind you, not win a match because you know as well as I do as well as everyone else does, that you aren't capable of that. Especially not with myself and Azrael Erebus as opponents. But anything that doesn't require actual skill to pull off. Then you parade it around like it's an accomplishment because you know you have to. You have to because no one's thinking that. No one else aside from you thinks you accomplished anything, because you didn't. You "picked your spot" and you walked out with possession of the belts, yes. However, the history books won't record that. In a couple of months, if you two are still around, barely scraping by on the scraps pushed off the table, sustaining yourself on the carcasses of those who, just like you couldn't make it; you're going to have to scream to the heavens that you for one week had the tag belts in your possession. Though you'll never be able to accurately say that you were champions. Everyone will forget your moment of glory. Because you couldn't back it up. I know this for a fact already because you're, if I may be so bold, idiots. Both of you. Failing to learn from history and claiming you're in the position of power.

Pathetic. It really is. This whole situation, your desperate attempts at gaining credibility through theft is pathetic.

Though maybe not as pathetic as your listening comprehension, Kristy. Azrael and I call ourselves Team Special? Are you deaf or, are you just stupid? Seriously, I can't quite tell but let me explain it for you slowly. Team Special, a moniker that really could apply to you and Hathaway at this point, is the designated nickname for the former tag champs; Peter Gilmour and the Dimallisher. A team consisting of a and a . Again, not unlike your own team, but not myself and Azrael. Oh, and then she does my job for me. Insulting herself and Liz by laughing at us after stealing our belts, claiming that we "are supposed to be some super badass team" and how you took our belts. Wow, Kristy. And I thought Liz was terrible at making you guys sound like a threat. Though, she does herself much worse as she continues to speak. First by going at Azrael, which I won't get into because he's a big boy and can dissect that monument to stupidity on his own.

No, let's go back to her claim, her infallible yet ultimately irrelevant claim that they hold the belts. A situation you only got with the aid of weaponry. Weaponry that'll be illegal come our match, leaving you literally shit out of luck. Seriously, you pair needed weapons to power down a pair that had already gone through a match just moments prior! Again, pathetic! When Azrael and I cashed in, we didn't attack the champions prior to the match. We didn't need to. You however, will need every advantage to make up for the gaping hole in talent.

Just facts, doll.

Like how I'm going to face someone so "unpredictable". Well, I'll just look back at Calamity Trigger, who put you on the shelf. Or maybe Super Mutant Dogerlord, who you also failed to defeat. Or the myriad of others you've fallen to, and see just how your unpredictability is formulaic. You aren't unpredictable. That's just a word you give yourself to seem more hard to plan for than you already are. The only bit of you that's unpredictable is what stupid thing will fall out of your mouth next.

Which, I'll give you credit where it's due, you did go above and beyond with your closer. The last thing that people will hear, and boy do you give them a doozy. I almost expected something scatterbrained and idiotic enough to become a meme. Something that would look funny accompanied by a picture of you looking you forgot how to breathe the first couple times I see it, but would get old really fast. What I didn't expect however, was something so unforgettably awful that it serves as a screaming tribute to just how low a human mind could sink.


Quote:To bad and so sad that you guys because you are going to be the first ones to be fall to us.

I, just, don't. I don't have an answer for this other than her having even more brain damage than I initially assume, and seeing as I already said her brain was basically liquefied as is, I don't even know how much worse that can get. I think she literally may be and I feel like I should feel awful for poking at her inability to form an argument or form sentences that convey any semblance of a rational thought. Yet, I'm not. It's not my fault she chose this profession, though it will be the fault of myself and Azrael when we deny her an actual title reign and take her only claim to fame back.

Sorry. Oh, wait. No I'm not.

Which brings me to Liz Hathaway. The slightly more intelligent of the pair and trust me, calling her intelligent in any capacity is a soul crushing experience I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy and I actually feel like vomiting everything I even so much as think about how someone could make her look smart in any context. So, I'll be moving on so I can keep some of my lunch down. Though, I don't think that after somehow managing to maintain my composure (for the most part) during Kristy's promo, where I did contemplate jamming a wire coat hanger through my ear drums to shelter my own brain from her IQ dropping rant. The overwhelming aura of failure and stupidity will no doubt crash hard on my delicate psyche and I don't think I can handle that again.

Right, I'm stalling.

I'm stalling and it's about as obvious as the fact that Liz Hathaway doesn't quite know how idioms work. The chips weren't stacked against you; you weren't in the game. You had no chips and no need to have chips. You weren't the plucky underdogs trying to get their shot, you were the afterthoughts, the lost fossils of a primitive era, dug up and crudely pieced back together in an attempt to see how long human beings can function with cream of mushroom soup in lieu of brains.

The truth of that conclusion is backed up in her use of quotes. From myself. Without adding anything or commenting on them, just sticking them in for the sole purpose of what? To throw them back in my face, hoist me up by my own petard, and hang me with a rope made of my own inadequacies? Because, you know if you want to do that, you have to do something with them, right? Not just regurgitate them back at me like an infant spitting up on their shirt. Right, that's a concept a little too advanced for you, because you still think that holding the belts themselves makes you a champion. Like a little league participation ribbon.

Fact: The record books list Azrael and I as champions, and none of them will ever mention you and Jackson taking them. That's because you won't win them from us in a wrestling match.

Yes, a wrestling match. The thing you're a failure at. With your seven and eleven title and all. No wonder you're so quick to assault someone and take their belt because you're a talentless carcass lacking in skill. It takes no skill to assault someone with a baseball bat. But it does take skill to win, and that I have, and you don't.

Though, I'll humor you a bit, and answer your inquiries.

First off: Yes, I am a true champion.

And you're one to talk about being a true champion, considering you've never been a fucking champion in your life. Come on, if you're going to rant about the honorable qualities of a champion, then at least have the god damned common courtesy to know what the hell it is you're talking about. Otherwise, you end up looking like, well yourself.

For fun, let me just show you the kind of nonsense I'm dealing with here from Liz:


(08-20-2014, 09:45 AM)Liz Hathaway Said: Oh, that’s because you let a team of females whom have shown a “dry spell of failure and absenteeism,” take your titles from right under your noses.

And not even a minute or so later:

(08-20-2014, 09:45 AM)Liz Hathaway Said:
And it’s not like we stole them under your noses either!

I'm sorry, I didn't think I was facing Peter Gilmour but if you're going to pull the same kind of cockamamie, inane bullshit as him, I guess you really aren't as clever as you think you are. Seriously. I don't even know if I can continue, this little bit of failure is overwhelmingly hilarious and I think I need a break to catch my slipping sanity.

Oh, and on the topic of trying to outwit these two. I'm not trying. I don't need to. A broom could outwit these two combined with half of its bristles violently plucked off.

For the record; "young Kendall"? You're a year older than me you slack jawed, rambling moron. The whole, "doing things that Peter Gilmour would" thing is kind of ridiculous.

Though to answer the most important question of all: I plan on beating you in a wrestling match because you won't be afforded the luxury of a cheap shot or weaponry; your equalizers. Once in the ring without any supports on your side, you'll fall by the wayside faster than you can ask: "Who's Liz Hathaway again?"

Lastly, since you're in the business of showing replays, let's see how your last wrestling match ended, shall we?


Quote:Hathaway puts her opponent down with a dropkick and then limps over and tries to lift her opponent but Minxs counters with a kick to Hathway's weakened knee. Just as Liz bends down to grab the knee Minxs plunges the piece of broken glass into the side of Liz Hathaway...red drops of blood start to fall and land into the mud.



The ref is now signaling for the bell.


Winner: Minxs

And that was in your environment, considering you reliance on weapons and all. And you still lost to Minxs. Glorious, bloody glorious just how much of a failure you are and how easy it'll be to beat you. Thanks for this. Really.

Oh, and by the by, some advice:

Learn what the word illiterate means, you stupid fucking cunt!


Awardments and Accoladations:

Last European Champion (Won April 28, 2014 -- Unified into the Universal Title May 19th, 2014)
Tag Team Champion (w/ ???) (Won August 13, 2014 -- Lost December 10, 2014)
Star of the Month (April 2014)
Wannabe Jessie Diaz (You know, if you're stupid Swagmire)
11-6

“Nothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change.” ― Mary Shelley
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