Please Login or Register to get full access to the forums.

Lost Password?
Current time: 03-28-2024, 03:01 AM (time should display as Pacific time zone; please contact Admin if it appears to be wrong)                                                                


X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » Relentless Day 1 (August 22nd) PPV RP Archive
Open Mouth - Insert Foot RP 7
Author Message
The Enigma Offline
Registered but either hasn't added self to a roster yet or doesn't RP



XWF FanBase:
(.Awaiting user update)


#1
08-20-2014, 09:07 AM




“Those who don’t study history are doomed to repeat it.”


We’ve all heard the phrase, some people take it to heart others laugh it off as just a cliché.

Me?

I’m a big fan of history. Which is why when I saw the first promo that Mr. Clean cut I got a little excited. Not excited like when Frodo Smackins sees a new piece of male talent on the roster but excited like a kid licking his lips when he walks by a candy store.

I was hoping that Mr. Clean would offer up a promo in which he provided classic examples of shall we say, Wild Card teams that despite the odds played the role of David striking down Goliath. But that’s not what Lucena did. Not even close. And for that I am very upset, sad even.

You see, I have gone on the record before and saying that I enjoy watching a Lucena promo, they are, for the most part rather hilarious. Once you get past the butchery of the English language. Heck, his promo last week where he made of list was by far one of the best promos I have ever seen. Perhaps it’s my own fault, you see, I used Lucena’s promo history to set the bar on what I expected to see from him this week. That’s on me. But Lucena’s promo? Come on.

What examples does Lucena provide that a Wild Card teams have been successful in the past? A team from the WWE? The Shield? Also of the WWE? To borrow a phrase from former Jets and Chiefs coach, “Come on man.” The Shield was most definitely not three random guys with singular agendas forced to work together. They were a team in every sense of the word. In fact, I haven’t seen an example of The Shield or anything like them in the XWF since I have been here but they were most definitely not a team of wild cards.

Instead Lucena offers up the current Trios Champions as an example of a wild card team…

Really?

You think that the team of Azrael Erebus and two brothers are a wild card team?

We are all dark and mysterious and that makes us random?

Maybe something got lost in translation or maybe Lucena has been hitting the sauce, hard. I’m not really sure but he couldn’t be any more off base if he had tried.

Honestly Lucena, you were better off not even opening your mouth because the second you did you put a bulls eye on your back the size of Texas.

Let me ask you something, let’s say that for the sake of argument that I support your point, that Azrael, Sebastian and I are a team of Wild Cards, wouldn’t that also mean that we have a pretty fantastic chance of retaining our titles at this coming pay per view, especially since, unlike your team we have already had two matches together and were victorious in both?

What Lucena could have done, what he should have done was offer up the team of Unknown Soldier, Poppa Feder and Peter Gilmour as examples of a successful wild card team. A meth addict, a geriatric and a career loser. And yet, they won the Trios Titles.

Or even the team of Tri Bute, Jessie-ica Diaz, and Egyptian Snow Pharaoh. A guy from the future, a chick with a foul mouth and a lunatic who liked to wrestle naked.

Hell the list of successful wild card trios teams is far more extensive than the list that is not. Eli James, Dimallisher and Azrael Erebus? Anonymous, Elisha and Brock Lesnar? All trios champs, all completely random.

There you go Lucena, there were four examples of XWF wild card teams that were successful. So why in God’s name would you offer up the one team that was put together by choice for a specific reason to try and support your bullshit story? Maybe you wanted me to pick you apart like this in hopes that I would slip up and it would give you something to try and stumble through in your next promo. But I doubt you are that smart. Not after what you’ve offered up so far.

I thought about ripping into your second promo just like I did this one but honestly I’m bored of you. So instead I’ll move onto Zoey Ryback…


Oh wait…

Looks like we have a little bit of a problem here. It seems that Zoey Ryback hasn’t offered up anything this week. Not a single promo.

Is it possible that Zoey Ryback has come to her senses and finally decided to take my advice and stay as far away from me, Sebastian and Azrael as possible? Is that what has happened?

It certainly seems that way. Perhaps we should add Zoey’s name to the ever growing list of people who are smart enough to stay away less they risk getting their faces stomped in by the current trio’s champions.

Good idea Zoey. Stay away. Stay far away. Shame your two partners haven’t figured out what you seemed to. I always knew you were the brains of that operation.

Now, for the antithesis of brains we have “Loverboy” Vinnie Lane.

First allow me to start off with this gem:

Quote: You know man, when I first saw my booking for Relentless I was confused. Frustrated. Angry, even. I thought - who the hell is Zoey Ryback? Who the hell is Clean Lucena? I may not have been in the FXW for too long, but I've been at every show along the way and I've seen most of the roster at some point or another.


Well Vinnie, I can’t speak about the roster of the FXW but here in the XWF, you know, where you are employed Clean Lucena actually won some gold once. And Zoey Ryback has beaten some good wrestlers in singles competition. What have you done? Sure you’ve scored some pinfalls but you didn’t do it alone did you? You had some help didn’t you? For a guy who likes to talk a good singles game you surely have no evidence to support it. From what I saw last week LH Harrison did all the heavy lifting. You were just there to make the pin. I'd call that a matter of good timing.

What else have we got from you?

Quote: You see, Enigma? You look at me, and you see a joke, a caricature. You see blonde hair and blue eyes, a warm smile, a fun guy. You see the surface. You see the outer layers. But me? I've got a center. I've met your type before. I've run across a "brotherhood" or two before in my time, man.


Well look at that, some Arm Chair Psychology by the blonde with the blue eyes and the wide smile. You know what Vinnie, when I look at you, really look at you, I don’t see a joke, a caricature or a guy that would make Adolph Hitler proud. No what I see is a delusional man who thinks that because he won some tag team matches that he is suddenly ready to step into the ring with three of the XWF’s very best. I see a guy who looked on the surface and saw a girl and a guy who can’t speak English and thought “aye carumba” and your knees started to shake. You saw standing before you an impending beating at your first XWF Pay Per View.

But wait, then Warfare came and your opponents won some matches and all of the sudden your balls drop a little bit and now you think, by golly, I might just have a chance. Well, you don’t. Let’s dispense with that nonsense right now. You have no shot. Just like Peter Gilmour has no shot of winning a singles title of relevance ever again.

You want to throw around scenarios like Azrael Erebus focusing solely on his tag team match and thus leaving Sebastian and I out to dry, even if Azrael did do that, which he wouldn’t, he enjoys the fight as much as anyone I have ever seen but if he did do that I can guarantee you one hundred percent that Sebastian and I could take out all three of you and still have time to make the early bird special at Dennys.

I applaud your desire to make a name for yourself at the upcoming Pay Per View. In fact, I am going to go out on a limb right now and say that you will indeed do just that. The problem for you is, in this reality, the one we live in, not the one you thought up, the reason you will be known in the annuls of the XWF is because you are going to get beaten so soundly that it will make what Brock Lesnar just did to John Cena look G rated.

I get it Loverboy, I really do. You’re the new guy, you want to try and turn some heads and be seen as something other than what you really are. Lots of people have embarked on the very same path that you have just started out on. You think it’s easy for me wrestling in the shadow of my All Everything Champion brother Sebastian Duke? Fuck no. Everything I do, everything I say is compared to Sebastian. But you know what, I use that as fuel, I don’t bitch and moan about it. I take it and I use it, it’s the motivation for every single beating I’ve handed out since I’ve been here. It’s helped me win three titles and a briefcase. You?

What do you do? You get trained by some known nothing ignoramus named Alex. You think that because he showed you some moves that you are suddenly able to step into the ring with me and not get beaten down like the upstart dog that you are? If anything your little training session just made my job even easier for me. Now I know how you are going to try and fend off my attacks in the ring. Smooth move rookie. Tell you what, because I am such a swell fella I will give you the first hit. You want to punch me in the face go for it. You want to clothesline me, go for it. How about a German Suplex? Or fuck, 16 in a row, go for it. I’ll let you have it. But make no mistake, it will be the only move you get on me.

The.

Only.

One.

Now run along and tell Alex all about this, see what advice he has for you now.



I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
~Umberto Eco


[Image: LoylT4w.jpg]
[Image: TKO12Eu.jpg]

Former United States Champion
Former X-Treme Champion
Former Trios Tag Team Champions w/Sebastian Duke and Azrael Erebus
Former Ark/24-7 Champion x 2


Edit Hate Post Like Post
[-] The following 1 user Likes The Enigma's post:
Morbid Angel (08-22-2014)




Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)