"Is this nigga calling my name in his sleep? For real? Did this nigga go all gay demon on people? Sleeping with his white girl calling my name all creepily? I ain't down with that, not in the least. This mother fucker can be gay for me all he wants, saying my name all creepily and shit. Fine. But don't do it when you sleeping with a white ho. Don't ruin the sanctity of white girl pussy with your homo shit. Let that glorious baby canal stay glorious. What the actual fuck is wrong with you? Laying next to her, turning away from her glorious ass to think of me and rub one out.

Congrats, you've creeped me out. And you even turned down the Blowjob match Frodo put forth? Wouldn't you be all about that idea? Losing to me so I can be on top of you, then taking my sweet chocolate rod down your throat? Taste my cum. Isn't that what you're telling us you want? Get in line behind Tommy Gunn, because he's the president of the I heart Swagmire Club for men. I'm not sure he's accepting new members, my understanding was that he's wanting to keep his circle jerking like his Millennium Falcon pilots. Solo.

Of course, none of that matters because when we step in the ring on Friday, I will do something I've never done before. I'ma drop two niggas at once with the Dirty Jerker. Double fisted, it'll be amazing. And don't even think about wearing a cup, Harrison, because that's for cowards. Cowards who are rightly so afraid of me. Cowards who deserve to get their dick punched off. Don't be a coward, Harrison. You wanted an honorable match, while here I am. Facing you with honor, even telling you in advance how I plan to beat you. And yeah, I will win because I'm good at beating the shit out of white bitches. Ask Callaway, and Dyson. If you can find them.


As for you, Anarchy. What can I say? No, seriously, what can I say? You're an ant in this federation. A nobody. You're in here because Archie needed a champion, and you were the first bitch to sign up. I know, my dear brother wanted to help as well, but you know what happened? He did something that actually mattered. He riled Giovanni up so much Gio called me. Because nothing screams don't fuck with me like hiring the brother of your problem to fix it. Giovanni wasn't concerned with you being Archie's choice, because at the end of the day you simple won't be an issue in the ring. It will be just Harrison and me, then just me. Because you guys are not on the same level as me. You never will be, and it's best we just accept that and move on. Seriously, you're just good at attacking people who can't even speak up for a week, like Scott Charlotte. Go play with Pennywise the clown.

Speaking of clowns, I want to ask you something Anarchy. Did you watch The Dark Knight a shit ton and think it's a good idea to dress like the dead guy from Brokeback Mountain? Is that how you plan your outfit in the morning? Do you flip through Monthly and find which gay celebrity you want to dress like? Are we going to have to worry about you fighting like Richard Simmons? Get us to Jazzorcise and Sweat to the Classics? I would have to hurt you more just to prove a point. Point is simple, don't come at me like some kind of one man pride parade. Fucker.

What's worse? Archie thinking you're actually a legitimate match for me. And then Miranda thinking that Harrison can handle the Swagzilla Killa. I'm an unstoppable force, and I'm moving on to the X title where I'm going to take it and make it mine. Then hold it for 6 weeks, get my case and cash in on the TV title. Why not the Uni? Because fuck the Uni title. And fuck Anarchy and Harrison. I'm going to teach you boys what happens when Chaos meets the cops. Pepper Spray to the face, bitches.

That's right, Anarchy getting stopped by the Fuzz. What keeps Chaos from spreading in the world? The Thin Blue Line of Justice. Not Batman, not Superman, not even the Green Arrow. Me and my Cop Brothers. Which is a lesson that Anarchy will be learning hard come Friday. And I hope he takes notes, because I will quiz him again and again. Until he gets it right. Fucking clowns. Who thinks it's a good idea to dress like a clown that got ass fucked by Jake Gyllenhall and nail shit to people's chest? This , that's who.

Whatever. I'm gonna go try and see what I can find out about Freddie."

---

---

---

Katie and Crack are sitting on the sofa watching reruns of Mork and Mindy, because you know Robin Williams died recently. Katie's curled up with a blanket try not to cry.

"I miss Robin Williams. He was Genie! It's not even cool."

"Yeah, well, he also did some fucked up movies. Ever see One Hour Photo? Insomnia? He wasn't always fun and games. Good actor, though. RV sucked."

"No, I didn't. Do you have them? We could watch them. If you don't mind."

Crack gets up to go grab the movie from his room, but stops about half way there.

"First, do you need something from the kitchen? And second, whatever it is you're doing. This isn't some game because you feel bad for me is it?"

She stood up and turned to face him with this really hurt look in her eyes.

"No. Why would you say that?"

"Because last week you thought it was funny to tease me because I think you're gorgeous, and yesterday you were trying to kick me out of my apartment."

He walked back to his room and grabbed the movie. When he got back Katie was on the couch again, this time with a bottle of Viniq. She was unscrewing it as he sat down.

"Why are you drinking that? And where did you get it?"

"Work, and because I need to be able to do this without worrying if I'm making a mistake."

She got the cap off and began chugging from the bottle.

"Katie. If you're worried it's a mistake, it is a mistake."

She pulled the bottle away, it was half empty.

"The mistake won't be fucking you. It'll be in cheating on Mark."

Back to chugging.

"Yeah, well, a mistake is still a mistake. And I'm not going to be responsible for you cheating on Flynn, and him thinking you're some low end whore."

She pulls it away and slams the bottle down. It's empty.

"I am not a whore! I've only slept with 6 guys. 3 before Joey, then Wish, and Flynn. The first three I was dating for months. And I only tried one girl. It totally doesn't make me a whore."

"No, but getting drunk and cheating him will make him think you're one."

She moved over to sit on his lap and kiss him before whispering in his ear.

"Anal doesn't count. You can fuck me as hard and as long as you want. Come on, do it. Do me."

She began to kiss him again, and fiercely. Crack gave in and held her tightly, letting his tongue explore the spaces between her teeth. He rolled her onto her back on the sofa. She pushed him up so he was looking down at her.

"This isn't because I feel bad for you or anything. This is a one time thing to pay you back."

He started to pull her shirt up before kissing her stomach.

"Who cares why you're doing it? I just want to hold you after."

She pulled it the rest of the way off and gave a half hearted smile to Crack.

"Yeah, sure whatever."

Crack leaned off her and rolled her over. He started to lower her pants, and was greeted with her pink thong between her cheeks, which he quickly kissed as well. She lifts her ass in the air and wiggles out of her pants and thong.

"Go on. You got lube, right?"

"Yeah, in my room. I gotta go get them and my condoms."

"Hurry up. Go get em, and leave the condoms. It's my ass, you won't get me pregnant."

He hurried back to his room to get the stuff, where he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror.

"What are you doing, man? That's your best friend's daughter out there. You can't fuck her. Plus, she's drunk."

"Yes, but she wants it, and you've wanted it since before he knew she exists. How many pairs of her panties have you stolen to jerk into? Come on, one time then you can hold her. No one gets hurt and no one knows."

"No. I can't. It's wrong."

"Look at her ass. It's perfect. You know you want to feel it."

"I know. And her tits are gorgeous, too. But I'm not going to do it."

He walked out of the room without the lube to tell her he couldn't do it, but she had fallen asleep on the sofa. Crack walked over to her, and picked her up, she was so light and tiny. They went to her room, he laid her down on the bed, went to tuck her in but got a better idea first. Since she was already laying there naked he pulled out his phone and snapped a picture real quick before tucking her in.

After he walked out of the room she opened her eyes a little.

"Knew he wasn't going to do it. At least I offered, and got a free ride to bed. Kind of wish I got to see his dick first, though."