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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » Relentless Day 2 (August 23rd) PPV RP Archive
The Bitten Tool Saga (2). Promo 101: Acting
Author Message
Guppy Parsh Offline
Person Against The Rape Of Lizards



XWF FanBase:
Kids, disabled people, casual fans

(fighting the odds; helps others; disliked by most adult male fans)


#1
08-17-2014, 09:12 AM

Dear Wednesday,

How are you? What time is it? How was your day?

I’m fine, it’s 1:13 pm and my day was a bit odd. I saw a rope on the floor and it reminded me of the time we played on the old swing set. Do you remember all the time we spent laughing on that day? I do. It was funny. I don’t remember why. Do you remember what was so funny? I just remember laughing. The last time I laughed like that was when I saw Patch Adams. That movie was very funny.


Guppy bit the eraser on his pencil.

Anyway, I ended up using the rope to fight crime and saved the lives of thousands of people. There was this huge riot based on little justification and the paid-off police chief had all the policemen let the rioters loot all the businesses in Gotham. I had to do something because I knew innocent people would get hurt. These people threw Molotov cocktails at the pizza parlor I, Batman, always eat at for Pete’s sake. I didn't know why grown-up adults would do a thing like that, so I looked into it a bit more.

I guess all the rioters were mad that a guy who threatened a police officer died. A lot of people protested peacefully, but one night some of those people changed. It was almost like they were in a trance. Like some sort of outside force had manipulated their fragile minds and turned them into violent savages. I wondered who had so much evil in their black hearts to do such a thing but then I remembered, Superman. It must be the man Daredevil’s Ben Affleck told me to combat with. This Superman must be trying to get my attention and lead me into a trap. I'm sure he wanted to fight me as much as I wanted to fight him.

Well, if he had underlings to do his looting. I had to find underlings of my own, but who else saw behind the scenes of this elaborate caper? Who else knew that this wasn’t a justified looting? Who else saw through that blatant lie? Then I found this: http://www.splcenter.org/blog/2014/08/13...ican-teen/


Guppy’s head began to ache; writing out an entire URL was tedious work and it interrupted the flow of words from his former doctoral mind. Guppy had to figure out where he was going with that before he found that link and transcribed it to paper, but the think train wasn't going anywhere. It sat dead in its tracks.

Guppy bit the eraser of his pencil again, but was interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Come in!”

The door swung open and a tall man wearing glasses stood on the other side of the frame. His eyes were watering.

“Guppy?”

“Dad?”

Guppy’s father took a deep breath, “You can’t do this, Guppy.”

“What can’t I do, dad?”

“You have to let that girl pin you, Guppy.”

“Line!”

“Cut, God damn it, Guppy,” dastardly shouted Stevil from the director’s chair of defiant curiosity, “Your line is, ‘Dad, I will bring no mercy come Saturday,’ okay?”

“Hold on, I just flat-out deny him? I don’t hear him out first?”

“Guppy, you’re a pro wrestler, laying down in a match should make you sick. Of course you don’t entertain the idea. From dad's last line. Action!”

“You have to let that girl pin you, Guppy.”

“Why?”

“Cut, what the fuck? We just went over this, Guppy.”

“I want to know why, Stevil; I didn’t even know my dad watched XWF.”

“Guppy, that isn’t your dad. It’s an actor.”

Guppy squinted at the imposter, and Stevil’s words started to make more sense. “My dad doesn’t wear glasses,” “My dad isn’t that tall,” and “My dad doesn’t have a mole there,” were all phrases that immediately entered his mind. Stevil…he couldn’t have.

“What did you do with my father, Stevil?”

“Really? I'VE NEVER SEEN YOUR FUCKING FATHER, GUPPY! Do you think I'm such a shitty director that I would do that? NO GUPPY, I DON'T NEED TO ABDUCT ANYBODY'S PARENTS TO GET PEOPLE TO ACT FOR ME! There are millions of wrestlers out there that would kill for my promo directing talents. I learned from the best, Guppy! I'M THE BASED GOD OF PROMO DIRECTING!” Stevil wickedly leaped up from his seat of demon, devilishly picked up the director’s chair of forgotten nightmares, and sickeningly tossed it at Guppy’s bedroom wall. Stevil let out a deep breath as he adjusted his mask. “Let’s just fucking take five, alright?”

Stevil recklessly pushed past the actor portraying Guppy’s father and maniacally slammed the door behind him. “I’LL BE IN MY TRAILER OF TORTURE!”

The echoes of the angry pizza party critic’s words rang in the hemispheres of Guppy’s subconscious.

“What was that all about?”

Guppy didn’t have the answer. This was his promo, right? Why didn’t he have the answers? Guppy stared down at his half-written letter and wondered if he’d ever be in the mood to finish it now that he learned the sickening truth.

There was something in the air that day. It was something toxic. It was something Guppy couldn’t explain because Guppy wasn’t even aware of its inaccessible and impending existence. The only thing he knew was that Stevil and this man had his real father somewhere. Why else would Stevil get so defensive about a topic like that? His father could be in peril or distress. He wouldn’t be a hero if he didn’t try to save him.

Guppy shoved his fake father out of the way and chased after Stevil. He needed answers.

"Excuse you."

"You're not my real dad."


Guppy fin.

[Image: H1oMImx.jpg]

16-4
XWF Top 50 of All-Time (#22 on 2015 and 2017 editions, #26 on 2021 edition)
1x RTX/Ruler of the Road to Extreme Xtreme WORLD Champion
2x Trio Tag Champion (1x as Tri Bute /w Ms. Diaz, Ms. Snow Pharaoh, and Mr. Supernova) (1x /w Benito Angelo and Jervis Cottonbelly)
1x Ark of The Covenant Champion
Winner of Gaybe Lincoln's XWF Tag Team Tournament /w Scully
Leader of the PAT-RO-oL's Anti-Rapist Division




Shoutout to Graves for the banner

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