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Kendall Savannah Sawyer · (08-23-2014)

Liz Hathaway and Kristy Jackson.

Challengers, contenders, thieves.

Well, maybe not the first two, because one look at their lackluster resumes prior to their respective falls off the face of the earth shows they'd probably not put enough an adequate fight against the aptly named "Team Special;" the former tag champs. Yes, former. Made so not by the team of Mark Flynn and Mr. WGWeff, but by myself and Azrael Erebus, all thanks to the 24/7 Briefcase I won back at Leap of Faith.

Why yes, we stole the belts too. Figuratively speaking. After faking our own deaths at the hands of a freak piano accident, we emerged from underneath the ring to claim the tag belts. There's a difference between how Azrael and I did it, and how you two did.

First and foremost, we stole the belts by becoming their rightful owners.

You two on the other hand, play usurper. You want that to be a reality so bad, that you follow the old expression "possession is nine tenths of the law" and hope that it sticks. You're holding those belts tight and close to you because you know that when Saturday comes, you're going to lose them permanently because it wasn't by any current merits that you even got this shot in the first place.

Face it; when it comes to success, you two are both so malnourished that you'll do just about anything to bring yourselves some pride.

That anything including stealing a pair of belts and parading around like you're champions. Cute. No, really it is. If you weren't so fucking pathetic, I would actually be a little more agitated. But as it stands, I almost want to give you a round of applause and a pat on the head.

Congratulations, you managed to accomplish something. After such a dry spell of failure and absenteeism, you two rubbed together whatever's left of your brain cells, and you actually succeeded. For once in what probably feels like an eternity for you, you didn't squander an opportunity. You broke out of your shells of inevitable failure for a few moments and didn't totally shit the bed.

Seriously, congratulations. You needed that brief hint of optimism. Too bad that when Saturday comes that optimism will be nothing more than a set of insect intestines smeared on the soles of my shoes but for now, please by all means, bask in the glory of your single success in the past few months. You'll need it to get through the Fall of your Credibility, and the Winter of your Discontent. Which will not be made glorious summer by the sun of York, for the record.

Yes, I'm making the bold declaration that your actions on Warfare will be the highest point you'll reach for the rest of this year. Maybe even longer, hell probably even longer if I may be honest. Nothing personal, you two, it's just that you're so high on your success that the only way to treat your inevitable idiocy is with a few swift punches to the stomach of your ego with the cold, stone fists of reality.

Then, on your fall from grace, you can conjure up your next plan to almost get away with theft. Maybe you two can try to pull the same stunt on a single's champion, then argue over which of you is the rightful fake champion.

Liz Hathaway, with a record of seven wins, eleven losses, and a draw. Whose last match saw her lose to Minxs of all people. Or Kristy Jackson, whose last matches saw her losing to a mutant dog thing and getting injured at the hands of whatever the hell Calamity Trigger was supposed to be. It's like picking the lesser of two evils, except neither are evil.

More like picking between the better of two failures. The winningest of two losers. But the real loser there would be, well, both of them. As both of them claw and struggle desperately for any kind of relevance in an XWF far more advanced than the one where they barely got by, they expose themselves to be completely and utterly dreadful. Lacking even the most basic, the most rudimentary of skills needed for any modicum, any singular morsel of success. It's a sad existence for those two, which makes me understand why they did what they did.

Do I approve? Hell no. If I was as pathetic and weak, I wouldn't even be in this profession. But obviously, we have different philosophies. For instance, Liz was always so quick to blame authority for her failures. Excuses. The tool of the weak to avoid admitting the truth to themselves.

And that's exactly what she is, too. Weak. Spineless. A coward. I could go on and on, with increasingly archaic and obscure synonyms, but I won't. Because it's something so obvious and apparent that I almost didn't need to bring it up in the first place but because both of them are likely trapped in their high, it doesn't seem fair that they delude themselves.

After all, if they keep it up, it'll almost be a shock to them when they ultimately choke and fail.

This is their opportunity.

It's right there, waiting for them.

Too bad they've already lost. It's just that they don't know it yet.

Or, maybe they do. What was that Liz?

(08-15-2014, 01:56 PM)Liz Hathaway Said: I'll just keep these titles warm for you guys, you should thank me actually.

Thank you! You're so considerate! All wanting to make sure the belts are nice and warm for Azrael and I once we stomp your hopeless attempt at winning them into dust and roll your carcasses out of the ring.

Hey, maybe you can shine them up for us too! You're ever so helpful!

It's always nice when someone knows their place.

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode Misplaced hope and an impossible dream. It's all that they got, so give 'em a break.
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