Darren Dangerous stands outside of a building with a cardboard sign in the window that reads "UVA".

Darren: "sighs" I guess this is the place.

Darren enters the building where he finds a room full of chairs. Some of the chairs are occupied by various people, one of whom is famous actor Russell Crowe. Darren sat in one of the empty chairs. Darren looks at the clock and it is 1pm. A man walks to the front of the room and stands at a podium.

Man: Hello everyone and welcome to Ultra-Violence Anonymous. You are here because you were either court ordered or your job is in jeopardy. Who would like to tell their story first? Anybody?

An older woman with solid white hair stands up and makes her way to the front of the room. "How could such an elderly woman be violent?" Darren asked himself.

Woman: Hello my name is Edith.

Crowd: Hello Edith!

Edith: I am here because a criminal court judge told me if I didn't come to these meetings I would face prison time. You see I am a long time white supremacist and a black woman came into my antique shop with a young boy who was hopping around the store and knocking over things, one of which, a small ceramic figurine, he broke. I told the woman she needed to pay for the item but she put her hand in my face and said she wasn't going to pay for anything and tried to leave. I put my cane in front of the door to prevent her from leaving but she slapped me so I took that cane right upside her head and the rest is history.

Man: Wow... what does Edith's story tell you people?

Russell Crowe: Don't fuck with old people!

Man: No it says that she should have handled things more calmly.

Darren stands to his feet.

Darren: Fuck that shit!

Everyone turns their attention to Darren as he walks to the front of the room.

Man: I'm sorry, who are you?

Darren: My name is Darren Dangerous and I am a professional wrestler.

Crowd: Hello Dar...

Darren: Shut the hell up!!!!

Everyone gets quiet.

Darren: Edith give me that mic.

Edith brings Darren the microphone from the podium she was standing at.

Darren: Like I said I am a professional wrestler, hell... I am THE professional wrestler. I am the most dangerous man alive. I am here because I was recently cutting a promo for an upcoming match I have with some little British bitch and I was minding my own business when a fucking hobo asked me for change. When I told him to fuck off he insulted me.

Russell Crowe: That fucking slum drunk... what did you next mate?

Darren: I kicked his ass and cut his face. I was told later that I shouldn't attack innocent civilians and was forced into this shit hole.

Man: Excuse me... this is not a shit hole. I think what you have is a classic case of suppressed...

Darren: I think you have a suppressed case of shut the fuck up! As I was saying I have a match next weekend against this British bitch that goes by the name of Scully. He wears ridiculous tacky suits and I am pretty sure that he and TNA's Rockstar Spud are lovers.

Hearing enough, the main speaker walks up to Darren and takes the microphone.

Man: Thank you very much Darren I am sure everyone can relate to why you are here.

Darren takes the microphone back and shoves the man away.

Darren: Fuck off pibsqueak!

Russell Crowe has seen enough and walks up and gets in Darren's face.

Russell Crowe: You need to watch it boy.

Darren: Watch this bitch.

Darren punches Crowe in the face.

Russell Crowe: Crikey... you really done it now!

Russell Crowe throws a swing at Darren but he misses and Darren capitalizes with a German suplex and driving Russell Crowe through the podium. Darren gets up and walks out of the building knowing the police would be showing up soon. He gets in his car and drives away.