Pest walks into a classroom full of high school kids, his crown noticably absent, and instead of his usual get up he's wearing a tattered suit and ratty leather loafers. The mask is still on, though. He looks around the classroom, and see a blonde girl sitting about half way to the back of the class, third row from the left. She's wearing a skirt and pink stocking that just tease at what might be hidden underneath. Her pink and yellow stripped top carefully extenuates her C-Cups, and her blonde curls fall just at the peaks of them. Pest is imagining what color panties she's wearing when the bell rings.

Mr. WGWF:Ah. Hello, I'm Mr. Pest. I will be your substitute teacher today. We're going to be discussing the difference between History and Revisionist History today. Your teacher told me you were on Chapter 4, but that shit's boring.

Girl in the skirt: Um, I'm not really sure this is the right class. We're in Resource Math.

Mr. WGWF:What's your name?

Girl:Barbie.

Mr. WGWF:And how old are you, Barbie?

Barbie:17.

Mr. WGWF:Well, Barbie. I'm 35, and I'm pretty fucking sure I know what subject I'm supposed to be teaching today. So kindly shut that pretty little cock pleaser on your face or I will have the two large gentlemen on either side of you hold you down will I fuck it until you vomit.

An audible gasp from the entire class.

Barbie:You can't say that to me! My daddy is...

Mr. WGWF:Someone who I don't give a fuck about. Now, that is your last outburts or I will not only face fuck you, but I will end it by hanging you naked from the flagpole by these handy hooks I keep in my pockets. I wonder how much tension your perky little tits can handle.

Another audible gasp followed by silence.

Mr. WGWF:Now, as I was saying, today is all about the difference between Revisionist History, and proper history. For example, Revisionist history would have believe that George Washington defeated the British with no outside help, and that he was the perect general. Real history will show that he needed the French to stop the English. And that he was a limp dick who couldn't handle the fight on his own.

A chuckle from the back of the classroom, which causes Pest to throw an eraser at the kid's head.

Kid:Hey, what the fuck. I'm just back here chilling trying to enjoy some Pretty Little Liars.

Mr. WGWF:Give me the goddamn phone. I do not need some burnout junkie jerking off to Lucy Hale. If anything, I want you jerking it to Barbie here. Barbie, take the top off.

The kid nervously walks forward and hands his phone over to Pest, who just examines it and then throws it at the wall.

Mr. WGWF:Now, Barbie. Where are the titties at?

He turns to the boy still standing there.

Mr. WGWF:Get the fuck back to your seat before I punch you so hard in the balls that my fists time travel and make your dad a woman.

He walks back to his seat even more nervously. Pest turns back to Barbie.

Mr. WGWF:Now, you, perky tits. I told you to take off your top. You have until the count of 3 to take them titties out, or I will forcibly remove your top, then hold you down as every guy in class jerks off on them. I don't give a fuck if he's a . He can think of the cock that went before him for all the fuck I care. One mother fucker.

She slowly started raising her top and crying quietly.

Mr. WGWF:Ok, bitch. Stop. I made my mother fucking point. Anyway, as I was saying. Revisionist history is when we change the facts about how things really happened to fit our needs. Such as whenever Peter Gilmour cuts a promo. No, I won't discuss his ridiculous claims of having any sort of honor, because even Perky Tits over here knows that's not true, and she still hasn't figured out to swallow the cum. No, what we'll discuss with Revisionism, and Actual is this massive claim.

"You challenge me to a match, I accepted and then you back out like the PUSSY you truly are. And then you have your 8 year old nephew try to fight your battles."


Mr. WGWF:No, Peter is incorrect. Gunn had been pursuing Peter. The problem isn't Gunn, it's Peter. You hid from him. Like he always does. Like he did to me. And Gunn didn't implement the 8 year thing, Peter's good pal John Madison did. Not that's my business, but it's facts. Madison said for Tommy's 8 year to fight Peter, and Tommy challenged Gilmour to face his nephew in a Spelling Bee. One made for kids, one that most people here could win. Most. That excludes you, Peter, his pals Dimmy Dimadome, and Feder. Hell, I bet Sugar Tits in the back there probably could win. And she's in the resource room.

Pest walks over to his desk and sits on the corner.

Mr. WGWF:See, the problem with Revisionist History, kids? Someone is always going to be there to remember the truth. And sadly, kids. I remember the truths that Peter is trying to cover up. The truths he feels the world isn't ready to know. Like that his vagina has been gaped more times than my new girlfriend, Barbie. Barbie, drop them panties now.

Barbie:Do you really want me to, or is this some sort of bullshit test again?

Pest looks at the laptop sitting on the desk picked it up, and tossed it at Barbie.

Mr. WGWF:I told you to remove your panties. Now, take them off and throw them here.


Kid next to her:Sir, she's unconscious. You knocked her out.

Mr. WGWF:Right, then you take them off and pass them up.

The kid looked like he was going to argue back when Pest pulled a brick from his suit jacket. The poor kid had no choice but to do as the "Teacher instructed". He got on the ground, and crept between her legs reached up and lowered her panties until they were at her ankles. He carefully removed them, and then delivered them to Pest before sitting back down. Pest took a huge whiff, and then threw the brick at him anyway. It missed and hit the wall.

Mr. WGWF:Don't be a pervert. Now, back to the lesson. So, Peter Gilmour is a prime example of Revisionist History, he changes his historical facts to make himself seem more important.

"All this did was bitch and moan.. and BITCH and MOAN.. and bitch.. and moan about wanting a shot at our belts."

Mr. WGWF:He made a challenge one time, then he beat a series of opponents who would have taken the title from Peter any day of the week. That's not really bitching and moaning, it's proving his worth. Mark Flynn is worthy of the title, Peter is not.

"What has John Black ever done?"

Mr. WGWF:He beat Jessica Diaz. Something not even your Universal Champion could do.

"But what does is you saying you were hired by somebody in that shit fed to take me and everybody in the XWF out. Yeah so nice of that faglord Chris Page to hire a like you when you know the XWF is way better than that shit fed."

Mr. WGWF:Pay attention Children, this is when the big guns come out. In his mind he's already beaten me, before even facing me in the ring. Because in his mind he knows who I am, and who hired me. The sad thing is he hasn't been paying attention to actual history. Had he done so, he would have known that I was hired by someone in the XWF to take the trash out. Peter is showing why I was hired to remove him first and foremost. All that anyone knows about me, Class, is that I was hired by someone to destroy the XWF. Hell, whether I'm actually from WG WF is even up for debate. One thing that's not, is that I was not hired by Chronic Chris Page.

"You say I am inferior, I'm a "PUSSY" for backing out of your little "Loser Leaves Town match" you oh so challenged me to. I'm not a pussy. "

Mr. WGWF:Class, Peter really is. There's no debate there. Everyone knows it, except for Peter and his rag tag bunch of worthless friends. Pretty sure I could beat each and every one of them. It won't be hard, not nearly as hard as getting Barbie's top off.

"Least I'm not giving back shots to a owner like Chris Page."

Mr. WGWF:I don't even know what this means. Honestly. I don't. Can someone explain it?

A slew of hands go in the air, but Pest just gives them a look and they go down.

"Sure, I beat Terry Borden for the TV Title in New York, but I was never given the respect deserved so I quit the fed and went back to the XWF because JON BROWN was the only owner besides Shane who believed in me."

Mr. WGWF:That's a little sad, isn't it Class? Peter won a title, but they failed to respect him enough so he left. How little did they respect him? He's been mercilessly taunted in the XWF since day one, and still find that they give him more respect than the WG WF ever did. And no, Class, no one really believes in Peter. Not even god.

"We beat Frodo Smackins and Scorpio with ease, although everybody keeps saying the Black Circle helped us. NO! We did it ourselves. We didn't need John Madison or the Black Circle helping us to win these belts."

Mr. WGWF:Part of this is actually factually correct. He did win that match with minimal effort, mostly because he didn't do anything in the match. He let the Black Circle do the work for him. See, Peter wants to claim he had the entire match handled, and did not need help, but History has proven that to be incorrect. Had it been correct, Peter would have a better record. No, the fact is, Class, much like the French Army after Napoleon, Peter Gilmour is about useless in the ring. Revisionist vs Actual.

"You are a pussy ass coward that got hired by a owner."

Mr. WGWF:Kids, I hope you're paying attention because this is the big reveal. I was hired by Shane . He just called Shane a . Shane is the only one who could convince me to come back, and here I am.

"The reason you hide behind the mask is because you look like a jackass."

Mr. WGWF:No, I wear this mask because I don't want people to see who I am. Not yet. When the time comes.

"You talk shit about Zoey Ryback, Danny Dangerous and everybody else on the roster knowing full well they can beat the shit out of you. Real smart there jackass."

Mr. WGWF:Kids, this is important. I called Peter out, and Cain, Blizzard, and Danny Dangerous came to his aid. They came to me looking for a fight. I ignored Blizzard, because let's face it, he's not going to stay around more than a week, but Dangerous and Cain? They needed to be put in their place. As for Ryback, women don't deserve to be in the ring. They deserve to be locked in my basement.

"How are we alike? Tell me that!"

Mr. WGWF:Pretty simple really. As a lot of people have pointed out, these two are about the same skill level, they're both , and they both run your mouth too much. Does he not listen to things people tell him?


"And then you mock Shane saying that I am better than him"

Mr. WGWF:Swap that. I said he's better than Peter, but barely. Nice to point out that Peter being better than someone is in fact mocking them. Sets it up nicely for a joke about that federation, but alas he'd be too stupid to get it.

The bell rings, and everyone prepares to leave.


Mr. WGWF:Ok, class. Homework is Chapter 34 page 394 Problems 1 through 30. And I expect it tomorrow.

Kid next to Barbie:What about her?


Mr. WGWF:Leave her. I'll take her to the nurses. And remember kids, my name is Mr. Pest. Your teacher was tied up under the desk the entire time. Good day.


Pest stands up walks behind the desk, and pulls an old man out. He sets the old man on the desk to examine him. The man is bound at his hands, elbows, feet, and knees, and pulled in nice and close. He has a ball gag stuck in this mouth, and a Swimmer's nose clip on his nose. Pest punches him in the face before turning and walking towards Barbie. He picks her up, and slinks her over his shoulder before walking out of the class room and to his car.


Mr. WGWF:Let's see if 35 goes into 17 more than once.