((It took some work, but "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane pulled it off - he located the Hope, Arkansas public library. It turns out it is in a strip mall between a pawn shop and a liquor store. As Loverboy sits at a small table near one of the three Apple II computers near the card catalog, atypically wearing a brown tweed sport coat with leather elbow patches and a pair of horn rimmed spectacles, he is flipping through a pretty large book. Lifting the book to his face closer we can see the title - "Philosophiæ Naturalis Principia Mathematica." The Isaac Newton tome seems to have Loverboy in rapt attention as his pupils dart back and forth quickly. Eventually Loverboy seems to see what he was looking for and he sets the book down on the table with a dry thud next to the other books.))

Loverboy: There it is. "Actioni contrariam semper et æqualem esse reactionem: sive corporum duorum actiones in se mutuo semper esse æquales et in partes contrarias dirigi." Rock on, Mastermind dude, you actually got one right. Where the hell is Sayors? I don't have all day...

((Just then, as if summoned, Steve Sayors walks into view.))

Sayors: Mr. Lane? Steve Sayors! I don't think we've been properly introduced!

SHHH!

((The three other patrons of the library as well as the elderly librarian all hastily chastise Steve Sayors for the volume of his voice. Sayors shrinks a little and then quietly slips into a chair next to Loverboy.))

Sayors: Uh... Vinnie... why is it that you wanted me to interview you in a library? In Arkansas of all places?

Loverboy: I'm doing research, man! Besides, you get the short end a lot, you know? I've seen you slapped around, choke slammed, beat up... you deserve an easy segment, don't you?

Sayors: Oh man, I really do need it. Okay, well, what's the scoop?

Loverboy: Did you see Mastermind's promo?

Sayors: Of course! Pretty standard Mastermind stuff. Brief, to the point. Definitely not as gifted at the art of soliloquy as his tag team partner, Cain.

Loverboy: Let's... let's focus on Mastermind for right now, okay? I've got a comment on Cain too but not yet.

Sayors: Alright, that's fair. He basically just countered your comments. Seemed confused by you calling him a bouncer and a hypnotist. Said something about Newton.

Loverboy: Yes! Right! That's why I came here. First, I was really impressed by Mastermind's promo. Honestly. He blew me away, because I had no idea he could read. I mean, he did say Newton was a great scientist of "our time," which sounds pretty stupid at first, but maybe he was referring to Cain being old as shit - the 17th century definitely wasn't my time, you know what I mean?

Sayors: Right... well, I think he was just using a figure of speech.

Loverboy: See, that's what confuses me, man. The guy apparently understands the laws of motion, right? He straight up said every action has an equal and opposite reaction - which, well, that's not quite right but whatever, we're not physicists. But the point is, he gets that, but doesn't understand simple metaphor? I mean, does he think I really thought he was a bouncer? Even Hanson had taller bouncers than Mastermind. And a hypnotist? Dude. Come on. You wear three dollar t-shirts saying you master peoples' minds, you've never gotten a hypnotist joke before? Jesus, man, even LH Harrison has a better sense of humor than you.

Sayors: So, you came to the library to look up Newton's laws? Don't you know how to Google?

Loverboy: Yeah, man, but do you think there's a ton of WiFi in Hope, Arkansas? Come on. Besides, I needed to come here to look up this book.

((Loverboy pulls over a second book with a leather cover.))

Sayors: Demonology? You're reading up on witchcraft?

Loverboy: Look man, I don't need to walk into Monday night unprepared. I need to be sure I'm wrestling against a human body, not a demon who can just kill me with a thought or paralyze me or whatever. It's only fair. These guys don't want to take me seriously. The most they've done is look at a picture and say I have big teeth. I mean, come on. I dropped a former X-Treme Champion on his head and pinned him in five seconds, what did Cain do last week? What did Mastermind do? I'll tell you, man, they LOST. And they're going to keep losing as long as they're more interested in talking to some "invader" with his mother's sex toys strapped to his head.

Sayors: Well, Mastermind looked alright this past Warfare.

Loverboy: Yeah, against who? Right. Exactly. Did you see what Flynn did to him? You think I'm trash like Lucena and Reign? No. You want more facts? Mastermind is 5'9" and barely 200 pounds. That's how big I was in tenth grade, Sayors. The dude is 40 years old, trying to make a name for himself by hitching his wagon to a superior partner and walking around with a t-shirt cannon like the saddest mascot at a baseball game. You're on the wrong show, Mastermind, and you need to stick to Warfare where the competition is at your level.

Sayors: We've got to wrap this up, Vinnie, I need to be on the road to Atlanta... and so do you, I might add!

Loverboy: Soon. Me and LH have plans later tonight. Another meeting of the minds in preparation for victory this Monday. We're gonna come up with a sweet team name and everything, because it's going to be US that have our hands raised at the end of the three way dance. TMOYD - out!

Sayors: TM... what?

Loverboy: TMOYD, Steve. The Man Of Your Dreams. That's what's going on MY t-shirt, and I'll even give a free one to Mastermind after I knock him out and grab the three. Now get going, I've got to figure out the Dewey decimal system...

((Sayors looks confused at the camera as Loverboy grabs his books and walks toward the shelves.))