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LH Harrison · (08-06-2014)

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LH Harrison stares in disbelief. He stares in confusion at ‘Loverboy’ as he celebrates with Socrates. He scratches his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. He raises his head to look at the prone and unmoving body of Bobby Zi. He steps through the ropes, helps him up, slaps him on the back, and then carries him to the medical staff. Harrison walks across the building to Loverboy’s locker room. About 30 yards away, LH begins hearing loud music and lots of laughing. He turns the corner and sees Loverboy’s locker room with the door open with what looks like one of Loverboy’s bandmates standing there chatting up a busty woman. LH walks up and attempts to walk past until the man puts a hand up to stop him.

LH: Umm may I please pass? Mr….?

Man: I need to see your invitation. And it’s Donny dude.

LH: Alright Donny what do you mean an invitation?

Donny: C’mon man, it’s a VIP party! Everyone has an invo.

LH: He planned a party after his first match? What if he lost?

Donny laughs at the idea and almost falls over.

Donny: What if he lost? To who? Some third grader that can barely speak English or any other language for that matter and a Bible Thumper? He had the invite go out as soon as he saw who his opponents were. Now were you invited to the shindig or weren’t you?

LH Harrison shakes his head and bites his tongue.

LH: I didn’t get an invitation.

Donny: Then move along Mr…?

LH: It’s LH Harrison. You can tell Loverboy I stopped by.

Donny suddenly realizing who he was talking to starts looking a little worried. LH just shakes his head and walks off. LH gets to his locker room, takes a quick shower, changes into some casual clothes, and walks out of the arena. LH walks out to his truck, starts it up, and starts the trek back to Hope, AR. About an hour into the trip, LH decides to call up Loverboy to set-up a game plan for the next week. He gets the number on file from the office at XWF. He calls it up. It rings…

And rings…

And rings…

Loverboy: Hello?

LH: Hey Vinnie I was just calling you to-

Loverboy: Hello?!

LH: VINNIE, can you hear me?

Loverboy: He-… oh I’m just kidding with ya! This is the message machine of the Loverboy Vinnie Lane babybay! Leave your message after the beep…. BEEP!

LH: Hey Lover-

Loverboy: Just kidding! I just said beep! You were probably already starting your message weren’t you, my bad! BEEP!

LH waits a moment before proceeding with his message scowling at Loverboy through the phone.

LH: Hey Vinnie, just wanted to check basis with you as we’re apparently teaming up next week to take on Cain & Mastermind and Shelby Cobra & Fandango. I know you’re probably celebrating, but we need to get on the same page for this match. Call me back as soon as you get this message so we can think up some sort of strategy for this match.

The camera is set up on the dashboard and connected with a Velcro attachment on the bottom of the camera. LH stares ahead into the distance in front of him with a blank look on his face. Finally he lets out a sigh and he seems extremely agitated and disappointed.

LH: I train for years to become such a big deal so that whenever I get to the big time, I can make a difference and inspire others to follow in my footsteps. Tonight was supposed to be my night. Tonight was going to be the beginning of the Inspiration Era. Yet I choked. Granted I wasn’t the one that took one move and got pinned, but I should’ve dealt with that Guitar Hero pro before I needed to tag in Bobby ‘Third-Grader’ Zi. I won’t make that mistake again. Next week is a new beginning for LH Harrison. Next week I won’t fail. NEXT WEEK LH HARRISON is going to kick Cain’s teeth down his throat.

LH stares directly into the camera with a pissed off look on his mug.

LH: Cain, you’ve never met me but, little do you know, you’re my arch nemesis. You did the most dastardly deed a person can do. You killed. And not only did you kill, but you introduced killing into the vernacular and methods of the mortal world. Who do you think you are? You killed your own brother out of greed? And jealousy? What kind of screwed up logic is that? And now you’ve come here to the XWF to take over the division? Well for the reason that God allows you to walk these halls, I was put here to tame the beast. Cain… Romulus… whatever your name is, I’m going to beat you unconscious and bring you to the altar and let God decide upon your fate. And once I’m finishing pummeling you into a bloody heap, I will take down your teammate Mastermind and bring him to the justice of the Lord God Almighty on High. After all, he’s got a date with doom in a month’s time when he has an Ultimate Submission match with me. I’ll make him scream ‘Uncle’ so loud that you’ll think it was Shelby Cobra that I locked into the Second Fall Stretch. Speaking of Shelby Cobra… wait I’m supposed to wrestle a woman? No offense to women, but is it really fair for me to put my hands on her? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’ll punch her square in the nose if necessary before I let anyone take another win from me. Last, and probably least is Fandango. Fandango’s claim to fame is being dumped by two of the most attractive women I’ve ever seen as well as getting a win at that other company’s biggest stage and doing ABSOLUTELY nothing with it. Seriously Fandango, it was WrestleMania and you couldn’t make a name for yourself after defeating Chris Jericho there? So Fandango you can continue doing your cutesy little dance moves, Shelby you can continue doing whatever it is your little group is doing, Mastermind can continue being short and rather Uninspiring, and Cain… well. You can prepare yourself for the end because I’m bringing the garlic and stake to end your putrid existence upon this world. I will avenge your brother Abel. Six days and counting boys and girl, until you realize what it feels like to be Inspired by LH Harrison.

LH looks back up to the road and throws the camera down into the seat as it turns to static.

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