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DOCA_HVP2014 · (07-31-2014)

^DOCA HVP's current theme

The Department of Corrective Assault, HVP division proudly presents:

Part 2 of Mr. Proxy running through everybody else's promos from his match so far this week, including his own partner Aaron Reign

(If you didn't already read part 1, please do so here.)

Mr. Proxy was turning up the volume so we could all hear Aaron Reign's words even better.

Aaron Reign Said:((..to Gator and Socrates..)) you can both shut up with the two-on-three whining. Mr. Proxy has won both of his matches in that exact same situation, so there's not an excuse if you can't.

Mr. Proxy applauded loudly as he proclaimed:
"Precisely! Gator and Socrates would rather bitch and moan about their partner being a flop case but what did I do in that same situation twice before? I went in and still won my matches ++++AND++++ murdered the people who failed to contribute to my team. <-(listening, Zoey?) I'll bet neither Gator nor Sacrates walks into Warfare this Wednesday and murders Kyle Star for being a lump of dead weight. Neither of those putas has the stones, chico. I'll bet they'll still be all teary eyed and depressed after their loss and they'll try to chalk it up to their partner being a piece of garbage, but you know what? I like that. It makes me look even stronger because they will be doing the exact opposite of what I've already done on more than one occasion. No excuses, ladies. You heard Roman Reigns. Oh wait, sorry I was speaking with Gator's accent there; I meant Aaron Reign. Singular. Not plural.

Aaron Reign Said:Are you just a one-hit wonder with your promos Gator, because it's starting to seem like you are. Same shit...both times you've talked about me. I'm generic. I'm boring. I'm in over my head. Insert shitty name-call here. Gator is da beast. Gator is love, Gator is life. Insert shitty one-liner here....is that about it?

"That actually sounds on point. Bingo, Ringo. What we have in Gator is a classic example of the John Cena and Rock fued from a couple years back in WWE. They both kept saying basically the same things about each other but finding slightly different settings to say them in, with slightly different twists on their words that, once broken down, still meant the same garbage each time. How impressive is Gator that he's able to harness the powers of John Cena ++and++ The Rock all in one body? He's double trouble! He's repeated the same promo so many times already that he's got Aaron Reign's promos looking like they're original! (*brief pause for you to go, DAAAAAAAAAAAMN*) HAH! Nice job, Gator. No wonder you're seeing double; you're talking double two. Yes, double two."

Laughing, Mr. Proxy held up four fingers. "Ha ha ha ha ha!"

Aaron Reign Said:((..to Socrates..)) Since I haven't seen you in a match yet, I'm going to assume you deserve respect. Until you prove otherwise, that's what I'm going to give you.

"Wow, could you be more backwards, partner? Until he proves otherwise, you're going to assume Socrates deserves respect? What? Come on, bud. You're talking about being the realest wrestler in this match and you can't even give out respect and disrespect in the correct sequence? Let me clear it up for you. You know that saying innocent until proven guilty? Well, if we replace innocent with respected and guilty with worthless, we'd have your frame of mind: Respected until proven worthless. And let me just say.............No. No, it doesn't work that way in wrestling. Do you see me giving anybody undue respect just for the heck of it? No, you see me disrespecting my opponents as well as my own partners because why? Why? Because I'm better than all of them and that includes you Aaron. I'll do business, sure, I'll work with anybody under the sun but that doesn't mean I'm going to play nice like they teach you to do during recess in kindergarten. Nobody in this business deserves respect right out of the gate; are you stupid? Nobody in this business should be treated like they're anything other than a lump of shit until they prove themselves to be better than the majority! Take me for example: been here for a cup of tea and a crumpet, won both of my matches while at a severe disadvantage, and took down extraneous targets just to make a few extra bucks from some well paying clients like Frodo Smackins, Shelby Cobra, Sid Feder and Eli James. I took jobs from all of them and I delivered on all accounts. I'm the guy people come to if they need something done right. I'm the guy the referees come to if they're looking to raise the victor's hand after a match. I'm the guy, no no, I'm quite simply---ahem---THEE MAN. I deserve all the respect in the world because I've proven myself to be better than half or even three quarters of the roster in the short time I've been here. What's going to happen in another month from now? I'll probably already be the Universal Champ, still undefeated, still taking extra side jobs for extra pay, and still extracting respect out of each and every person I come across. Socrates said it best when he called me his king; he gets it; he understands my positioning in this unstable structure we're calling a tag match- right at the top. Nobody else in this match has done a single thing to gain an ounce of respect. What has Zoey Ryback done? Beat one person who tends to lose most of his matches anyway? What has Aaron Reign done? Tell us all how he's the only wrestler alive and how you must be living a gimmick if you have any characteristics that he doesn't have? What has Socrates done? Moved into a new house and already started hitting on people while shitting his pants? What has Gator done? Make fun of Aaron Reign for calling his own partners by the wrong names, only to move on and call everybody the wrong name, only to come out with this gem when corrected in the public?"

Gator Said:That’s like the third time people have mentioned me pronouncing their names wrong, don’t they understand that I don’t care?

"But Gator, wasn't that you who was ragging all over Aaron's face about how he said my and Zoey's names wrong? For you to mention that, doesn't it mean you think it matters and somehow makes you look better by pointing out? And if you care about that, and care about trying to look better or smarter or whatever it is, doesn't that contradict you saying that you don't care when you have the same thing done back to you? My head is spinning right now with all this nonsense and it's making me understand what living your life must be like 24 hours a day, buddy boy. No wonder you can't keep anything straight and you can't even find a friend who will give you correct information. I bet your friend Todd is laughing his ass off when he gives you wrong information and you go on to reference it in your promos. What a good friend. Might as well have a troll for a friend! The more I hear you talk, Gator, it starts to become obvious that this famous picture that is associated with you is much more than just a cute graphic:

"That's the one. Notice how part of your head is being sliced right through and all you can do is say "ow" about it? It doesn't even phase you or cause you to die? No bits or chunks of brain come flying out? Nothing? Was your head so empty and full of misinformation that your brain just shriveled up into a raisin and fell all the way through your body and to the very end of your tail? Come on, Gator Boy! Stop making this so easy! Even your own graphics that appear along with your aired footage seem to be making light of the fact that you've got nothing in your head! You could have your head cut clean in half and still just walk around with Todd, telling Aaron how big of a boner he gives you! That is something, kiddo. You've got spunk. You might not have any brains or any friends with correct information, or any wrestling ability, or any good pick up lines for Zoey, or any good rebuttals that are void of your foot getting shoved into your mouth; but hey at least you have that spunk. Keep it up, Junior Ball Bag. Maybe one day your nuts will drop and your thought process will become clear, but until then I'd advise you to stop making yourself the laughing stock of this match and pretty much this entire company.

"You know what the scariest thing is? You're going to try and defend yourself against what I've said today. You and Todd are going to exchange your angsty twink/teen banter and he's going to fill your head with more wrong information, and that's going to mix with the already disheveled mess of diarrhea in your head, and you're going to drop the worst hot damn promo in the history of shitty promos. You're going to fire back at me so hard that I'm going to wish I was back watching Socrates take a dump in his pants while winking at people. You're going to make me wish I was seeing Aaron Reign's<-(singular but possessive s, bud) glistening chest while he chews you out for being nothing more than an alligimmickator. You're going to make me drop to my knees, take a gun to my head, and give serious consideration to pulling that trigger just to end the misery that is surely going to become my reality as soon as I have to tune in and see your answer to what I've said today. And no, that's not me copying your shit line about how Aaron makes you want to get erect and kill yourself.

"God, please, Lord above, if you exist, please spare me of Gator's retort. Please just let him get eaten by a damn shark or something; it doesn't even have to make sense; just please make something happen to him. Let him get hit by a bus when he gets up out of bed in the morning. Let him get shot in the face when he's looking at photoshopped fake nudes of Zoey. Let him get struck by lightening in the middle of a desert. I don't care, God! Just please, please make it so he can't respond to me because I don't know if I'm strong enough to take it."

TROLL ALERT!

TROLL ALERT!

The Troll dances into the picture and kicks Mr. Proxy in the knee.

"What the hell did you do that for?"

"You got trolled!"

"Yeah that's cute. Go away. I'm praying right now!"

"No I mean you got trolled! Gator just trolled you like nobody has before!"

The Troll grabs Mr. Proxy by the belt and starts tugging to try and drag him over to the television.

"You do realize I am much larger and heavier then you, right? I mean you are a troll. You won't be dragging me anywhere. You're making me think of my opponents this week the way you're putting all your weight into trying to get me to budge and all that's happening is you're shitting yourself."

The Troll looks down and sees brown goo slipping out of the bottom of his pant leg. He giggles.

"Oh sorry about that, but seriously you have to watch Gator's latest promo! He spilled the beans! He spilled the beans!"

"I already saw the opening of his recent promo and he just talks about how Aaron Reign can't get people's names right."

"No! The rest! You have to watch the rest!"

"Ugh, fine, this better be good. I turned it off early for a reason and now you're making me turn it back on."

This is going to be grand...

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode Part 2: Dear God, Please don't unleash the Gator's wrath into this Snake's belly
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