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Ricky Maine · (07-27-2014)

Let's set the scene, shall we? It seems the logical thing to do. Welcome to Santiago de Cuba, here the people are humble, the cigars are top quality and the sun shines all year round, except for hurricane season, but fuck semantics. After hearing some more horrendous jibberish from his scheduled opponent one Ricky Maine is standing in front of the monument to Antonio Maceo Grajales..

"You know.. a lot of heroes are easily forgotten."

"Antonio Maceo Grajales fought to liberate Cuba from the Spanish, he succeeded, but who remembers him now?"

"50% of you probably thought I just made that name up..."

"50% of you just don't give a fuck."

"Frodo Smackins is on another planet, balls deep in a alien whore with three assholes."

"When I put pen to paper for Giovanni Ferrari I ended my self imposed exile from the wrestling world. For over year I stayed away from the bright lights and streamers, it wasn't out of frustration with creative, I had to step away to take back my life. It's no secret I've struggled with addiction, the needle tore a hole. When I last wrestled I was beaten by some 48 year old jobber because he offered me a hit."

"So I put myself into the Scott Hall Clinic in Miami, lasted a week."

"So I put myself into the Jake Roberts Rehabilitation Center in Stone Mountain, lasted three days."

"It took another six visits to various rehab centers for me to realize I didn't need an institution."

"What I needed was another fix."

"After yet another hit I sat back in my chair, floating, the rubber band around my bicep slowly relaxed. I settled in for another cruisey ride. But the roller coaster came to an abrupt stop, when the woman I was cheating on my wife with came in and broke the news.."

"Pregnant!"

"I. Father."

"FUCK!"

"It changed me, man, it really did. Here I was, a 'big star' married to my high school sweetheart, having a baby with some slut I met at McDonalds, and addicted to any fucking pill I could crush into the needle. Shit had hit something that was certain. Instantly I lost my buzz. The bitch was going to jail for six months, said she was never going back to drugs. She was keeping the kid, and was going to raise it with or without me. She made a stand. Here she was, addicted to heroin since she was 14, 12 years, and she took a stand. How could she be stronger than me?"

"Six months later, she came out of jail. We met up, I was clean, had been since she gave me the news, I was also divorced, about to be a father. Needed to make money, obviously I hadn't save any from my four year career.."

Maine looks up at the statue and scratches his chin before continuing..

"But all of that means nothing to my opponent, does it? It's personal rubbish. He just wants to rape me, spew in my eyes, etc."

"Frodo, mommy changed my diaper, I'm ready to go."

"There's only one reason I attacked you on Warfare, and that was to make an impact. Your face is evidence of the impact I made. It was nothing personal, really. I didn't attack you for anyone else, I didn't attack you for Giovanni Ferrari, I didn't suddenly decide to infringe on gimmicks and become a hitman."

"I haven't even wrestled a match yet and I've already pissed off the GM? I forgot how good I was.."

"See I don't give a flying fuck if I piss God off. Archie Lawson better call our match down the middle or he'll get the same love tap on the side of his face as you have. You'll be twins, licking his ass will now be incest, but hey, you'll probably enjoy it more."

"You just keep believing in your own hype Frodo. I don't need respect, I don't thrive on being popular, I could care less if I get jeered or cheered and I don't give a fuck what your little circle jerk thinks of me."

"To answer your questions; how am I a Cuban working in the US? Well I'm not a Cuban. I'm an American, born and bred. My mother is Navajo and my father from Peru."

"How do I go between the US and Cuba so easily? It's called 'air travel' it's been around for around 120 years now. It's simple really, our neighbors to the north and south allow their citizens freedom of movement, strange that Murica' doesn't. All I have to do is fly to Mexico, Canada, any other country in the world, and then fly to Cuba. Yeah the fucking TSA bothers me, but fuck it, it's in the name of 3dumb after all. Again, it's simple.. If you think about it for more than 0.4 seconds."

Maine is heard asking the production crew if Frodo has heard of google

"I've got a flight to Mexico City to catch, don't worry Frodo I'll be at Madison Square Garden on Wednesday night, you can spew in my eyes, if you're not down on the canvas again. Oh, how's your head by the way? anyways, see you in New York, comrade."

[Image: teddy-hart-specials-o.gif]

Fade.To.Black.

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