"Ricky Maine is a pussy. He's a coward pussy. He had to tag along with Cain's attack on me to get me. He knows he can't get one up on me, actually he probably can't get it up anyway. Ricky, are you impotent? I mean, it would explain your tough guy bravado and pussy ass tactics. Come on, Ricky, prove me wrong. Can you? Probably not, because if you could you wouldn't have done some sneak attack on me like that. I made a challenge to you, which you ignored, but answered with a sneak attack. Tell me, why did you choose me? Is it because I called you out? Because, you've done nothing to dissaude my comments. Congrats, you're a pussy who can't prove he's not a pussy. Now, go get your mom to change your diaper.
Speaking of your stupidity, I want to explain to you exactly what you've done. See, you've got my interest even more now, and that's not a good thing. I will hound you until I get bored, and it probably won't be for a while. Not only have you piqued my interest, you got Archie Lawson pissed. And you know who he is? Aside from being the General Manager that pays me to hurt Wallabies, he is the one who will be reffing our match. And you've done pissed him off. He's likely to call it badly for you, just to spite you. But then you'd probably be too stupid to notice he did it. Because you're a fucking joke of a wrestler. You probably didn't get that I was insulting you there, it's all right little buddy. You'll get it some day.
You don't want our respect? That's what you said, right? Then why make the open challenge, why come here and try and prove how tough you are? Why mention the praise you supposedly got? Because you want us to like you, it's ok to want that. I want the fans to like me, it's because of them, and because of the GMS liking my work, that I still have a job. The issue with you is that you want to up yourself, and look a lot tougher than you are. Sadly, you won't be proving that this week, instead you'll be proving how easy it is to beat you. Because if Cracked out, Fancy Feast eating Frodo can do it, anyone can. Shelby Cobra probably could easily crush you, and that bitch has literally not won a single match here. Because you're weak, you're arrogant, you're fraudulent, and I bet your mother still picks out your outfits.
Speaking of fraudulent, here is my very important question. How are you a Cuban working in the US? And going between the two so easily? That just doesn't happen. In order for a US Citizen to go to Cuba you need to be partnered with a special tour group to help you learn about the country. There are no free fun trips to Cuba. And in order for a Cuban to come to the US they have to make it on land before the Cost Guard catches them, or they go back. Why are you lying to impress us if you don't care about our respect? It's like you're so stupid you're insulting our intelligence with your inability to come up with a good story. It's quite sad. I know why Giovanni signed you, but I hope he realizes that it was a mistake.
If he wanted to get back at me for hurting Gary why not send Morbid Angel after me? That'd make a little more sense then sending you. But make no mistake, don't be Gio, you'll be the one who walks away less of a man than before. I will literally vomit into your eyes in this match. Don't worry, I have awesome aim, so none will get into your mouth. Then I'm going to kick Giovanni's ass again. Do you fucking hear that, Gio? I will come for you. I will come when you're asleep, and I will stab Gary. I told you, it wasn't personal. It was business, and what did you do? You fucked up by making it personal. Now, you're going to have to pay for that error. And first this dipshit you signed is going to pay. He's going to wish the only thing I hit him with was Cher Lloyd is a fuck ugly Gypsy bitch. No, I think I'll drop my new move on him. It's called Demi Lovato looks really good in jeans. I know, it's a weird name, and it may not make sense to you, but when I hit you with it, it will make perfect sense.
Now, I'm just going to talk about something much more important. I am getting married on August 4th, Madness. It will be awesome, and I think people should come out and celebrate my marriage with me. As such, what I'm going to do is rent the biggest arena I can find, and that will be where I have my bachelor party. All of you, except this limp dick I'm fighting, are invited. It's gonna be super. Hell, I might even have strippers. I dunno, Sarah, am I allowed to have strippers at my party?"
"As long as you don't sleep with them, and none turn out to be your daughter. You don't need another kid. Not with this one Iggy has."
"See that, I can have strippers. I might even turn it into an orgy. So, if you're interested XWFamily, again, not shit stain I'm fighting, come on out. I'll tweet the deets later. Please, please don't make me have a massive stripper orgy by myself. That might not be so fun. For me anyway. They might have a lot more fun. But truthfully, I think I can only get about 7 shots off before I'm done for the night, and there will be a lot more than 7 strippers there. Honestly, if you guys don't show up, I might have to hire male escorts just to satisfy the strippers' dripping pussies. God, if only Theo were still alive. He'd make sure he satified most of them. Theo was a great guy, real considerate of the needs of random pussy. He knew how to make it so happy it'd cry for days. Yes, Ricky, I am saying Theo would fuck so good that bitch would stay wet thinking about how good Theo was. And he didn't have a huge dong to work with, he just knew how to use what he had, cause he loved doing it so much.
One time, I hacked his stuff and saw his browsing history, it was very informative. Because of that, I know how to haggle for more money, or extra egg rolls. I mostly stick to the egg roll one, I don't really negotiate with money these days. No real need for it. I just spend it on drugs and cat food. Plus, with the 4 Mil that Flynn dropped me, I'm pretty set. In fact, I'm in New Zealand recording this right now. I'm gonna crash Jasmine's house and throw a huge party. Party in the USA. Not really, we left the US. But still. Fucking Miley Cyrus."
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