Threaded Mode | Linear Mode

~~Frodo mother fucking Smackins~~ · (06-18-2014)

Frodo awoke in the morning with a jump in his step. Today was the day he got to pick up his freshly melted down tag belt. What would it be when he went to pick it up? Who the fuck knows, besides Frodo and the jeweller, it was kind of exciting. So exciting that he decided to actually shower. I know, two days in a row! He must be on his way to a date with Mandii. No, we forgot, she doesn't want anything to do with him. He's probably going to pick up his new belt thing and maybe talk to that Sarah girl. She seemed nice, even if she did try and fuck Katie. Odd how these things start for him.

Either way, the Dwarf king is up, and running to the bathroom. He runs passed the Ostrich he locked in Crack's room, pretending to ignore it. He showers extra well, but again leaves the beard, not until Monday. He will shave Monday, stop pressuring him, ok? After he's clean he walks into the kitchen and pulls a couple of Taco Bell Beefy Five Layer Burritos out of the fridge and microwaves them. He sees Crack crying on the sofa, laying in the fetal position. Being the awesome friend he is he waddles over to him, yes waddles. He looks at Crack and gingerly asks.

"What's up, slut?"

"He's back. The Ostrich is back, and he won't let me sleep at night. I'm out of my drugs, and I'm being attacked by an ostrich. I've named him Ed. He won't leave me alone, so I've named him."

Frodo chuckled. He sneaked the ostrich in, and then Katie and he pretend not to see the ostrich ever. She makes sure to keep any droppings from it off the floor, except in Crack's room. He also steals Crack's pills.

"You'll be fine, man. There's no Ostrich, and Katie will get you some of my stuff when she wakes up. I keep it in a safe under her bed. No one will look there. Plus, I'll tell her to bring home some more pills from work today. You'll be fine, buddy. I'm heading off to the mall, gotta pick up my new belt. Wanna come?"

"No. It's not safe for me out there. Not until I get my fix."

[ligthblue]"All right, homes. Feel better, yo. Call me later."[/lightblue]

He heads out of his apartment and hops in the Nova to drive off to pick up his new toy. He was certain Mandii would love it. Something hopefully they could share together, if she'd ever just answer her phone. He tried her one more time, but of course it went to voicemail. His tiny hobbit heart broke. Instead of breaking down and crying, he called Sarah. She answered.

"Hey, Frodo. Is this about me working at the club?"

"No, it's about maybe hanging with me today. I can tell you about the club in person. I'll buy you breakfast, and lunch."

It was at this moment Frodo realized he had left his Taco Bell in the microwave, and that it would be soon eaten by a semi-imaginary Ostrich named Ed. Goddammit, he really wanted Taco Bell.

"It's almost noon. We'll just do lunch. How does Taco Bell sound? You've still got my address?"

"Yeah, believe me, I can get there. I had to walk back to my place from it while pretty high, I've got it. By the way, where do you and your Roomie get your stuff from?"

"Oh, sweetie. She wasn't my roomie. She was my dealer. Why?"

"You're never going to see her again. She was selling you shitty pot, and I'm pretty sure she can't get you the things I can. Ever have Snow Blind? What about Avalanche?"

"Is that Coke? I don't touch the stuff. I only smoke Pot and sometimes I take X. Where do you get your stuff from?"

"I'll tell you some other time. I'm hear. Hanging up, come on out."

He hung up the phone and fiddled with the radio for a minute or two before Sarah came running down the front steps. Her jeans clinging so tightly to her ass it'd make a man cry. But not Frodo, he was too busy crying on the inside because Mandii wouldn't call him back. Either way she got in the car, and they drove to Taco Bell and feasted like gods. All while discussing their lives, and what drugs Frodo can and cannot procure for her. The job at the club didn't come up, yet. But she was taking special interest in Frodo being a pro-wrestler.

"So, you really own a strip club, and wrestle in the XWF, as well as sell drugs? Do you ever have time to do anything fun?"

"All the time. I almost never do anything boring. In fact, I've been accused of not training properly for my matches because of it, but truth be told, if I actually worked out and trained in a gym I wouldn't have fun with it. I spar, and I work out at home, but I can't put all my time into it otherwise it becomes another chore. I have to take it my way if I want to enjoy it. Kind of like us, I'm pretty sure someone out there would be telling me exactly how to handle this if they knew what was up, but I'd rather let it happen how it doed. More fun that way. Less like following a recipe."

"Us? So you're not planning on fucking me a few more times before ignoring me? Not even for Mandii?"

"Where did you hear that name?"

"When you took the X with us you called her and told her you loved her. I figured she was your girlfriend or something."

"We're nothing. We've shared one meal together, and I kissed her a few times. Nothing else. But no, I won't fuck you a couple more times then ignore you. I'm not like that. I do have to pick something up at the mall, though. Wanna come with? I'll buy you something pretty."

She agreed, and off they went to the mall where Frodo picked up his shiny new Solid Gold Crack Pipe Dildo. Yes, you heard correctly a crack pipe that doubles as a dildo. And do you want to know the funny thing? He got the gold from melting down the tag belt. Yup, he's going to fuck himself with his title. Awesome. After picking that up he grabbed the left over leather, which he then turned into a regular belt because what else will he do with it?

After that fun adventure she wanted to go to Hot Topic for some new skirts and hoodies, so he obliged. That cost him close to $300, then she wanted $400 worth of lingerie. By the time the date was over he had spent close to $1200 on her. And bitch was a terrible stripper! Imagine if she was actually good.

At the end of the day he drove her back to her place, but before she got out of the car she looked at him.

"I didn't get the job, did I?"

"No. Sorry."

She began to tear up.

"Is it because I'm trans?"

He leaned in and kissed her.

"It's because I can't continue to see you if you work there. And I really wanna keepp seeing you. Plus, you're a terrible dancer. Better lover."

She smiled a little. Then Frodo's phone lit up. He answered, but put it on speaker.

"Daddy. You have to get home now! Smith had to knock Crack out and lock him in the bathroom. He went crazy trying to kill Ed. Took Smith's gun and everything. Please hurry."

He promised to hurry over there, but first he had to either let Sarah out, or bring her to his home. Find out which happens next in the mighty adventures of Frodo Smackins, Fish out of Water.

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode Melted gold, and new beginnings. (4)
Author	Message