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~~Frodo mother fucking Smackins~~ · (06-18-2014)

"I'd like the time to elaborate on something Scorpio said in his last promo. Something, I feel needs to be clarified. Peter claims to have been the one to make the XTreme Belt matter. But then we beg the important question. Was it a trinket before you had it? Because when I claimed it, you seemed to deny it. Was it worthless before September 26th, 2012? Which is the first time your name appears in the record books with it. Now, you say you're the who brought prestige to it? What about the time it was held for 59 days by Angelus, or when Scorp held it for 58 days? What about the entire list of people who won it a staggering 36 times when it was worth putting in the books before you? But enough about adding to Scorpio's attacks, I'll let the man handle his business on his own while I handle mine. And no, I'm not talking about my dick, I have your wife do that for me. Sometimes your assistant, not-girlfriend.

It's time for my favorite part of the day. Fucking with Peter. This time, we're going to discuss his current promo. Because the past is best left to those who were there to witness it. I wasn't."

Quote: I hate to say I told you so, but I told you so. Once again, I proved everyone wrong. Everyone in the XWF locker room and you fans watching this at home thought that Frodo Smackins would defeat me in the Junkyard Brawl last week on Warfare. But who was the one who had the last laugh? ME, that's who! Although the match was a draw, I still whipped Frodo all over that junkyard and he's lucky, LUCKY to even be standing or breathing right now. But we all know his time has come.

"See, this is just odd. Because I remember me kicking the shit out of him as well, and him being trapped in a tire while I stomped him. Not only that, but I recall me choking him unconscious as well. I mean, I don't actually remember doing that part, but I watched the video footage, and Giovanni told me that's what happened. Have to trust Gio. Odd how he remembers it differently. Must be like how I was the one making predictions of impending doom. He was the one saying he was going to kill me. And yet, here I am still alive. New Hoodie to boot. And guess what, Peter. I've won another match since then. I took Mastermind and mastered my dick all over his face. How do you like that shit?"

Quote:It was a hellacious match I'll admit that. Me and Frodo went through a war and there was no winner. So that means I cannot pick my own partner for my match this Sunday night at LEAP OF FAITH. It sucks but hey, it comes with the territory. You don't always get what you want as a bunch of British hippies once sang. I'm lucky to even be talking to you fans right now. But as always, I am still here. Nobody can break me and nobody can end me. I am the never ending nightmare of the XWF and soon to be 4 time XWF Tag Team Champion!

"The Rolling Stones? You're referring to the Stones as Hippies? Mick Jagger was definitely not a hippie. The man is a notorious drug hound, yes. But Hippie, no. The man hired Hell's Angels to work security for him in 1969. No Hippie would do that. Seriously? Did you confuse the Beatles with their love ins and the Rolling Stones with their 'I have snorted the remains of my ancestor'? And that's even the lightest error here.

Right here you say something."

Quote:, I will be the big dog and claim my 5th Tag Title reign and I will once again show you why I am better than you. But I'm looking too far ahead.

"That's from last week's Warfare, your promo Scum of the Earth.

Which contradicts your statement here. Odd, you do that one a lot. Either that or you were planning on winning the belts and then losing them before winning them again. Which is curious why you would bring it up.

Also, no one is trying to end you. You're working on ending your own career just fine. We like fucking with you too much to force you out. You are the one fixated on ending people's careers. We just like to take things you love and destroy them in front of you. Like giving Maria Brink AIDs. Ever wonder why Billy was laying in wait for Fatback like that? Because I told him to be there, I told him to be ready to attack Maria. He chose instead to go for Fatback, but whatever. I am the reason your wife has AIDs."

Quote:Everybody knows I am the greatest Xtreme Champion in the XWF today and the longest reigning Tag and Trios Tag Champion of all time.

"You also said this, I didn't touch on it much, but I will now. Yes, you are the longest running Tag Trios champ holding the title for close to 200 days. How many defenses did you have during that period? But you are not the longest running Tag Champ, that honor goes to Griffin MacAllister. Who I'd say was a far better XTreme champion than you are. You lost to Davids. He beat Duke. Duke is better than Davids, Griffin beats Duke. See how the math rolls out? Plus, Azrael was an X champion, and he beat the shit out of you. Or Scorpio? See how you're entirely forgetting people who beat you? Yeah, you do that a lot. You're still not shit."

Quote:Let's talk about LEAP OF FAITH now shall we? This Sunday night, I step into the ring once again with that coke dealing Frodo Smackins. But this time it will be for the Tag Team Titles as his partner and lover Scorpio will be at his side. They will face me and a mystery partner. Now for all of you who did not see Warfare last week, shame on you, you missed a classic brawl. But like I said there was not a winner and now I go into LEAP OF FAITH not knowing a tag title shot and who my partner is which sucks for me since as we all saw on Warfare, Miranda Tigris, Gio Ferrari and Archie Lawson had to make a tough decision. And after talking amongst themselves, they come to the conclusion that they will pick my partner since I cannot pick my own. No worries as long as I don't get a ****** who doesn't show up or sucks like J-Dub, Swagmire, John Black, Mr. XWF, and so on. But I digress as always.

"I deal more than just Coke, and Scorp isn't my lover. This week it's been a mix of Sarah, and J-Dubb. Never Scorp. But then, I tend to try and avoid being tied down to one person. Unprotected sex with multiple partners is the best kind.

They didn't have to make a tough decision. It was pretty cut and dry. We were both unconscious. That's pretty easy to make a decision on. Why was it tough? Oh, naming your partner. It wasn't actually them, per se. Here, let Gio explain."

Giovanni Ferrari Said:Okay then. The plan to solve this conundrum, is that we the managers on Warfare, will choose three acceptable candidates for Gilmour's partner. You at home will get to vote who Gilmour gets. All participates will be chosen on their merit and there won't be any joke picks or people who will fail Gilmour. Since Gilmour didn't exactly lose he doesn't deserve to be saddled with a partner who won't carry his own weight. However, since Gilmour also didn't win he can't have the right to pick his own. This solves the problem and makes everything evened out. The choices will be announced at a later date, so keep watching the nonstop action that is the XWF for further details. We thank you all for your help in advance and with all that being said, I think it's time for a commercial break.

"See how that works? There was a poll. The viewers at home chose. Are you really having trouble grasping these simple concepts?

Yes, you digress and get things wrong a lot. Like Swagmire has a better record than you do. He's won 3 matches with in his 4 months being here. Which is better than you, since one of your wins included you paying an impostor to act like Barney Green while you pretended to kill him. That win has been stricken from the record. And Swaggy has never failed to show up. J-Dub has yet to have a return match, but I'd wager he'll do better than you. Mr. XWF has also won two matches in a row. Something you seem incapable of doing. Plus, unlike you, he is currently a champion. You should consider yourself honored to even have been considered as his partner at one point."

Quote:Anyways, it doesn't matter who my partner is but if I HAD to choose, I would love to team with CAIN, the RTX Champion. Man, that guy is a beast! I'd also love to team with Griffin McAllistair again, though if we teamed up again, people who call us Peter Griffin again. I could team with guys like Sebastian Duke, John Madison and Theo Pryce, but that's career suicide and add to the fact that I don't trust them. Hell, I could even team with that imposter Gilmour Classic! Now THAT would be the most unusual team ever. Imagine this if you will, me and Gilmour Classic teaming up knowing the hate we have for each other. We beat Frodo and Scorpio at LEAP OF FAITH and become Tag Team champs. How shocking would that be? That would be more shocking then finding out Justin Beiber was gay. Wait, isn't he gay? We all know he's a like Frodo is. Hell, I bet Frodo would love to fuck him. But once again I digress. If me and Gilmour Classic won the belts, we would be unstoppable. We'd be the two man power trip like HHH and Stone Cold Steve Austin or Austin Aries and Bobby Roode. That would be EPIC!

"So, let me get this straight. You said you don't want to partner with Theo, after he had to reject you twice. And just last week you were threatening to partner with him? What is that? You turn you back on the man only after he rejects you, and you get called on it? And Maddy? He's gone out of his way to help you out. He's gone very far out of his way. He even offered to be in a match with you to get you the crown. A match where either of you could make the pin, and you win, but only you can be pinned for the loss. And when he reffed for you and Theo he failed to make the count when Theo had you pinned. Are you seriously this

?

And you'd choose not to use Griffin exclusively because someone would make a family guy joke? That's what you're afraid of? Family guy jokes? Wow. And no, it wouldn't be shocking if you teamed with Steen to win. People have been talking about that for a while. Are you just now cluing in? Even if you had Steen, Cain, and the Undertaker to be your partner you would still lose because you're on the team.

As for the Justin Beiber being gay thing, where do you people get this stuff? The man is not the most masculine, and sings songs for teenage girls so he must be gay? He banged Selena Gomez, and rumors have it a lot of other women. Remember the older woman who said she mothered his child? Yeah, no woman is saying that about you, and you keep making threats involving other men's genitals. On top of your rampant accusations about other people being gay. And let me settle this for you, settle this loud and clear. I AM NOT GAY. I sleep with men, women, transsexuals, and animals. I sleep with just about everything, your wife included.

Cain would be a solid partner, but then you'd just weigh him down."

Quote:Maybe teaming up with Gilmour Classic would be a good idea. But I have to be cautious if XWF management chooses him. I'd have to roll the dice and try to trust him. But like I said, I don't trust a lot of people.

"Of all the people here not to trust, he is probably the second highest on the list. Followed by me. He did kidnap Maria. And last week you were clamoring about some made up alliance between us. Also, I raped you. I think that's a little less trust worthy than kidnapping. Plus, I'm the one who cut the holes in all of your shorts before your match with Theo. Remember that?"

Quote: You make fun of my penis, my family, my ex girlfriends, and you think I'm scared of you? FUCK NO! I'm not scared of a Sting wannabe ok?

"This was to Scorp, but I need to address this. I did that, not Scorpio. Except I didn't mock your family, except your wife. Did you get us confused?"

Quote:yes Frodo I always wipe when I take a shit unlike you who never showers. Oh wait, you did in your promo. Congratulations, it only took your entire life to actually get in one. You stink worse than the NY Yankees!

"As I mentioned I shower about once or twice a month. It's not because I'm dirty or anything, but I haven't figured out how to smoke in the shower, yet. Until I do I'd rather be smoking than showering. It's not that big a deal. Also, Yankees have won the World Series more times than any other team. Almost three times more than the next nearest team. 27 to 11. And yet they suck. Great logic, better record than you, and they're shit."

Quote:Now I come to the other loser in this tag team, young Fromo Smackins. Oh Frodo, why won't you just die? You're beginning to bore me, especially in your promo. I like how you think the Tag Team Title is a joke and you cut lines of Coke and do other horrible things to it.

"Ok, I'm not young. I am 38 years old. Do you know anything about people, or just run with ridiciulous things that sound good? I did more than that. I had it melted down. I'm gonna go pick it up today. In its new form. Curious what that will be?"

Quote:And you call yourself a champion. Pfft... whatever! You don't impress me Frodo. Everything you've said about me up to this point has been lies and frankly, it still bores me half to death. By the way Frodo, how's your neck after my good friend DDP hit you with the DIAMOND CUTTER? You are a joke Frodo! You continue to try to scare me with homosexual jokes like I love fat girls and how I jerk off to Barney Green. I don't do that but we all know half the roster does and that makes me sick. I would never jack off to that fat fuck or have sex with a fat girl. I prefer girls with a great body, just like my wife. Don't be jealous you'll never find a girl that looks like my wife. You can fantasize about Mandii Rider all you want dude, she doesn't love you.

"I know Mandii doesn't love me, and that hurts. It really does. But it's ok, because I've fucked plenty of people of all genders. Even your wife, before and after AIDs. Guess that means I can get a woman like her. Huh? My neck is fine, but it's comical you bring that up. Did I not tell you that it's cowardly to have your friends come in and do what you can't? Didn't I even mention that I knew they were coming for me, because you can't beat me on your own? Funny how I called that, then you try and throw it in my face.

I'm not trying to scare you with those observations, if they did that's on you. But fucking fat girls isn't gay. Unless they have dicks. Gay means someone of the same gender, not someone disgusting. You did know that, right? Or is gay just another word you don't know the meaning of?

Again, do you have proof they're lies, or is it just your word vs mine? Wait, I showed evidence that you're a liar. You've yet to do the same for me."

Quote:Anyways, back to your boring ass Frodo. Indeed we will do battle once more but this time it WILL be for the last time. Claim it is destiny that we continue to fight one another and kill each other. You'll never kill me! Like I said before, I am the ever living nightmare of the XWF and will remain that way until the XWF closes its doors or I die. But those won't ever happen.

"Did I say we would kill each other? I said we will do battle until there's nothing left of us. It's going to happen. We're not done, and we won't be. Trust me. All men must die, but your death will not be at my hands. I'm promising you that. Because I don't threaten to kill people."

Quote:Frodo, you say my mouth gets me in trouble all the time. Well for once I actually agree with you on something. I've had made some mistakes over my career and my life. But I'm not a liar. When I say I will do something, I DO IT! When I said I will become Xtreme Champion again, I DID! When I said I will become a champion, I DID! But believe me on this Frodo, this Sunday night, I WILL take those tag titles from you and me and my partner will leave you and Scorpio in a pool of your own blood! That's a promise I intend to keep. You bring up Gauntlet City and how Sid Feder and Soldier "carried" me to victory even after I was eliminated. I was never carried in that match you dumb fuck. Even if I did get eliminated I still won the Trios Tag Titles with Feder and Soldier and when we defended them I never needed them to carry me. I did my part in the matches we had. So don't come out here bringing up Gauntlet City and how I need people to carry me in a match ok? Shut the fuck up !

"Glad you agree, but you're lying again. You said you'd beat Scorp, end my career, kill me, end Swagmire, kill him, and beat me in the junkyard. As well as beating GC, or killing him. How's that for doing stuff? You were the only one eliminated, that means you didn't do your part. Unless your part was to be knocked out of the match. You got carried. If it wasn't for the skills of other people you wouldn't have been a champion there. Good deal. Dipshit."

Quote:You really disgust me Frodo you know that. And you think you and Scorpio are pissing me off? Not in the slightest dude. Everything you two losers are saying is just adding fuel to the fire that is inside me and come Sunday, I will unleash an ass kicking on the both of you and leave you unconscious and bloody. They'll need a forklift to carry your bodies out of the ring. You say I don't know who my partner is? You may be right but I know who he is and if my suspicions are right, and they usually are, then you two are in for a long night. You can claim that you're both better than me but after me and my partner beat you on Sunday, I'll go right up to your ugly face and say, I AM BETTER THAN YOU!

"And the truth comes out. Scorpio and I are in fact your superiors. If we weren't, then you wouldn't be talking about needing someone's help to stop us. But you are. I don't need Scorp to stop you, and he doesn't need me. We're not here because we need each other to win. We're here because we're friends, and we decided to partake this endeavor. Actually planned it out in my apartment. Katie cooked us food, and by cooked I mean bitch went to Wendy's like a good daughter and bought us food.

See, if you were our better you would have seen this plan coming, and known we're not in the slightest concerned about your partner. Not in the slightest. Why would they need a forklift? I'm not that heavy, a solid 160, and Scorp is 260. That's an even 400 pounds. We'd be easily carried out. Are you either implying the federation is weak, or that massively abusing a Forklift? With you it's pretty hard to tell."

Quote:You shouldn't worry about how bad you "might" beat me in this match. You should worry about who my partner is. You should worry about how we are going to beat you all over the ring. You should worry about your title reign coming to an end this coming Sunday! Like I said before, I don't care who my partner is, they will help me beat the both of you. And if my suspicions are right, you WILL see new Tag Team Champions come LEAP OF FAITH. So keep thinking your words are pissing me off. Keep thinking you guys already won this match. This match is far from being decided guys. Come Sunday, me and my partner are going to take both of you .. TO THE XTREEEEEEEEEEME! Shine up those belts for me. Oh wait, you said you were going to melt it down into a dildo. Real classy there Frodo. Maybe I'll take that dildo and shove it right up your ass since we all know you love it from the back. Scorpio knows since he gives you backshots on the daily. Face it guys, you are not going to beat us. Now if you'll excuse me, I got to go watch a Adam Cole DVD because unlike you two twats, he is a WINNER and a CHAMPION. Something I will be this Sunday night. See you then boys!

"When did I say it's gonna be a dildo? Nowhere, I have yet to reveal it to the world. And what do you mean decided? This match isn't scripted or anything, we'll decide it in the ring at LoF. But kudos for announcing you need help to win. Baby steps forward. Good, some day you may actually not need help. As we've established, though. No one cares who your partner is, because it won't help."

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