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X-treme Wrestling Federation » Shove-It! Boards » Shove-It! Results
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Variety Pack Shove it pt 1
Author Message
Frodo mother fucking Smackins Offline
Big Dick Playa



XWF FanBase:
Drug addicts, rebels, weirdos

(the villain you love to hate; has cult following; may deal drugs on side)


#1
06-02-2014, 08:38 PM

"Welcome to the city of Rolla, Missouri. Some of you may remember that when I hid out from the cops I was hiding here. We won't dwell on that, but we do have some amazing events coming up tonight. Well, moving on. Tonight we have special guests with us, Holly and PJ from the Two Cousins Bakery, the lovely company that provided us with most of tonight's delicious pies. Say hello, PJ and Holly."


"Hi, I'm Holly..."

"Right, no one cares. I was just being nice. Listen bitches, we're about to start."

Pie eating contest of doom!

The participants are sitting at a table with pies labelled 1-10 in front of them. There is a ref in a jacket standing besides them. The ref's place bibs on the necks of Soupcan and Phil McOxenballs. The refs stepped back while a coin was flipped.


"Oi, tails. Lad."

It's heads, Phil calls first pie. He chooses Pie #3, and it gets placed in front of Soupcan. He eats it no problem.

#4 goes to Phil. No problem. #1 for Soupcan. No issue. #5 for Phil. No issue.

"Remember gentlemen, one for each of you is pig shit, and loser is the one who eats shit first. Keep going."

#6 for Soupcan, still nothing. Damn. #6 for Phil as well. He looks to be gagging. Will he vomit this one up? No, it's just a little gas. Goddamn.

Soupcan gets #2. He eats it, and too looks like he's going to vomit, he starts coughing, a lot actually.
but no vomit. Just hacks up a bird's wing. Why Soupcan ate a bird's wing is a different question all together. He chooses #10 for Phil. Phil looks a bit concerned, but eats it none the less. He acts as if he's going to vomit, but it's all a joke before naming his choice for Soupcan. #10 as well.

Soupcan eats it rather quickly before moving on and naming #9 for Phil. Phil eats it like it was the best meal ever. #8 goes to Soupcan. SC laughs as he eats this one. #1 for Phil, who eats it like Peter Gilmour was eating Chicken Parm.

#7 goes to SC, he delightfully eats it.

"Cherry. Like me last girl's lipstick. Oi, them wee ones love that crap."

#7 to Phil as well, he eats it as he begins to cry joyfully. We now take a quick drink break where Phil is being treated to the finest cheap whiskey $10 can buy you. Soupcan gets a lovely 12 pack of Mickeys, which he murders.

Ok, back to the pies. It's Soupcan's turn and he gets #4. He downs it quicker than his underage lover downed his genitals. #8 for Phil, which he eats before you can tell him to stop shitting in your pond water. Anyway, that's just a horrid thought so we move past it.

#5 goes to Soupcan, and as we're nearing the end of the bunch the shit has to this one. But he eats it anyway. #2 goes to Phil. Is this the shit one? He eats it so, nope. Last one to Soupcan.

It's #9. He eats it all! No shit there? #3 to Phil. Is this his shit pie? He eats it, so no!

"What the fuck gives? There's supposed to be shit in two of those pies. Did you fuckers eat shit or not?!"

"Calm down lad. First pie I had was shite."

"Same here, boyo."

"Then why didn't you vomit?"

"First meal I've had in a while. Decent one anyway. Think I'm gonna waste that? You should be down under the bridge with them."

"Same, lad. It was delicious."

Winner: DRAW!


Ok, part two up later. It's taking a little more time. Reworking some things.

[Image: ZXX7HJw.png?1]





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