Date: May 26, 2014
Arena: Toyota Center
City: Houston, Texas
JOEY STYLES: “This is XTRREEEME folks! Paul Heyman is marching to the ring with his Alliance in toe! Kendall Sawyer, Lesnar, Gunn, Vellore, and recently added just last week, Steve Davids!
“What a collection of talent!”
Heyman marches to the ring. A sour look upon his face as he enters.
JOEY STYLES: “Paul Heyman is visibly angry. I can only imagine it has to do with the outcome of the Universal title match last week on Madness!”
PAUL HEYMAN: “Ladies and gentlemen, my name.... is Paul Heyman and let me tell you, Ozymandias can go fuck himself!”
JOEY STYLES: “Wow!”
PAUL HEYMAN: “Just last week right here in the House that Heyman built, the franchise star of the Heyman Alliance, the very cornerstone on which the foundation of the Heyman Alliance was built, the single best rookie in the game today, Kendall Sawyer not only found herself within the title match for the companies top prize, which by the way, as a result, makes it the richest prize in the industry, she also found herself as the winner of the match and the NEW XWF Universal champion until Ozymandias stepped in and changed the rules!”
JOEY STYLES: “He's not wrong, Maniacs!”
PAUL HEYMAN: “In case you forgot, let's take a look back...”
Heyman points toward the Xtron.
A replay is shown. Steve Davids appearance in last weeks main event is blurred out.
PAUL HEYMAN: “There must be some blemish in the tape...”
The replay continues showing both Sawyer and Azrael on the outside. It shows Kendall delivering a powerbomb to Azrael on the floor and concludes with her getting back into the ring just as Azrael is counted out. Kendall Sawyer is announced as the winner and new champion.
PAUL HEYMAN: “Your winner, and new XWF Universal Champion! Your winner, and new XWF Universal Champion! Your winner, and new XWF Universal Champion! KENDALL SAWYER!”
JOEY STYLES: “Again, Maniacs, he's not wrong!”
PAUL HEYMAN: “But the esteemed General Manager of the House that Heyman built, decided to restart the match making the rules favor heavily toward whom he wanted to win. Azrael Erebus.
“Allow me to state at this moment that my problem here is not with Mr. Erebus. My problem... our problem... is that low life backstabbing little snake Ozymandias!
“Let me tell you something, Ozy! If you think for one damn second that I'll take part in this ridiculous main event that nobody wants to see, then you are entirely wrong!
“You see, people don't pay their hard earned money every week to attend the House that Heyman built simply to see a bunch of General Managers deliver a terrible match!
“They came to see Kendall Sawyer! They came to see Azrae Erebus! They came to see the RTX Champion, Cain! They came to see the Universal Champion Sebastian Duke! They came to see competitors! They didn't come to see silly little special attractions where pencil pushers square off in the ring!
“Is Vince Russo writing this shit? Is Vince McMahon talking into your ear telling you what the fans want? Because we all know that man lost his touch a decade ago! Are you Wallace Witasick in disguise!? Do you really want to run the House that Heyman built right into the ground right next to Borefare!?
“If that's your plan Ozy, then I won't be any part of it!”
Heyman spikes the microphone into the mat and starts to leave. He waves his cohorts to come along.
JOEY STYLES: "And now it's time for our first match of the night. A triple threat match featuring three of the relative new comers to the XWF."
| Bad As Me by Tom Waits Plays |
Issac being a no bullshit guy walks straight out of the back and into the ring awaiting his opponents.
| Ace of Spades by Motorhead Plays |
Sterling comes out in a silk robe looking disgusted with all the fans he sees. he always has the ref open up the ropes for him. He throws off his robe in the middle of the ring and makes a few quick poses before usually insulting the ring side fans.
| A Country Boy Can Survive by Hank Williams Jr Plays |
Waylon comes out take some Beechnut tobacco and puts a dip in points at his opponent then wipes his hands on his overalls and spits the tobacco all down the ramp.
Issac Van Zandt
- vs -
Sterling Steal
- vs -
Waylon
Standard Triple Threat Match
|
Waylon starts off the match with a quick kick to the junk of Sterling Steal, followed by a punch to the throat of Van Zandt. This sends both men to their knees. Waylon then decides to walk off to the ramp for a minute while his two opponents try and get up. Steal is the first to his knees, but as he does he's met with a swift boot to the face from Waylon, who has returned holding a U.S. Flag. t's
JOEY STYLES: "That's right, here in the XWF we always remember our fallen troops. Like Barney Green, and Fatback and Shane
and the Administrator and Eli James and probably a slew of others that I forgot. Moral of the story is "Murica."
The Redneck Rumbler is waving the flag around while singing The Star Stangled Banner as he delivers boot after Boot to the downed Englishman. It is truly a site to bring tears to the eyes of any Veteran, or Patriot in attendance. And they are really love it down in Texas.
As this is going on Zandt tries to get to his feet, but Waylon turns abruptly and stops him with a knee to the face, before planting Ole' Glory firmly at the top of the nearest turnbuckle. He quickly grabs the downed Englishman by the ear and pulls him to his feet. Then like a puppeteer he raises Sterling's hand to his heart, and begins to say the Pledge of Alliegence as he repeatedly headbutts Steal, who is still be held in place by Waylon. Zandt tries to break this up but his instead met with a fist to his face delivered by Waylon, using Steal's fist. That's right, Waylon used Steal's fist to punch Van Zandt, because using his own fist isn't Patriotic enough.
JOEY STYLES: "USA USA USA!!"
Waylon kicks out Steal's feet and drops him on his knees in front of the flag. He then moves his sights to the other opponent, the New Yorker. He walks over in typical country brawler fashion, and begins to throw punches to the face of the fake American. He is delivering shots that would destroy a normal man, but they're not stopping Van Zandt. So, Waylon does the only thing he can think of to do. He picks up Van Zandt and begins to use him like a club and beat Sterling Steal with the New Yorker until Van Zandt goes limp. This gives Waylon and idea, he leaves Sterling alone and carries Van Zandt to the corner across from the flag, and props him up in it. Waylon then pulls Duct tape out of his pocket and tapes Zandt in the corner in a crucifix positision.
JOEY STYLES: "Waylon is unleashing the redneck fury on Steal's face."
Waylon then moves quickly and pounces on Steal, sending them both to the ground. He begins laying Mounted punches in Steal's face.
WAYLON: "I'm gone teach you Amurican with this fist."
Steal wobbles his head out of the way in time to dodge Waylon's fist. This anger's Waylon, who takes the flag down and begins to choke Steal with it. Steal is flailing like a fish in a skillet trying to get free, but all he's doing is making Waylon tighten his grip until Steal falls limp as well.
Waylon puts the flag back on the pole while the ref checks on Steal. He calls for the bell.
In the back, The Messiah John Brown is minding his own business, when an unknown official approaches him, envelope in hand. He looks at John, holding out the envelope.
JOHN BROWN: What is this?
OFFICIAL: It's got your name on it. I was supposed to give it to you.
John Brown looks at the man sideways, then reluctantly takes the envelope from him.
The official stands and looks at him.
JOHN BROWN: Are you waiting for a tip? Scram.
The official turns and walks away.
John Brown opens the envelope and unfolds the paper inside. He scans it over, and his eyes immediately begin to roll.
JOHN BROWN: Oh, you have GOT to be kidding me.
John looks at the paper again, folds it up and places it in his back pocket before walking out of the shot.
| Ace of Spades by Motorhead Plays |
Pyros go off and 10 seconds later Jerry Daniels walks down to the ring.
Joey Hawkins walks slowly to the ring, throws his hat into the audience. Once in ring, climbs the turnbuckle and flexes his arm muscles.
Jerry Daniels
- vs -
Joey Hawkins
Standard One Fall |
DING DING DING!
JOEY STYLES: "And here we go."
Daniels and Hawkins meet in the middle of the ring, Daniels has a strong hold on the back of Hawkins neck and uses the leverage to whip his opponent into the ropes. Hawkins ducks an attempted clothesline by Daniels and on the return lays Daniels out with a flying forearm and then follows up with a perfectly placed elbow drop.
JOEY STYLES: “Fast start by Hawkins here.”
Hawkins gets Daniels to his feet and then momentarily stuns him with an eye poke and then a belly to belly suplex.
Hawkins hooks the leg for the pin…
1…
2…
KICK OUT!!
Daniels with the kick out. Hawkins yanks his opponent up to his feet and goes to hook the leg for a fireman’s carry but Daniels blocks it. Hawkins tries again…same result. Instead Daniels uses all his strength to lift Hawkins up and deliver massive spinebuster that shakes the ring.
JOEY STYLES: “Incredible display of strength there by Jerry Daniels there. Hawkins looks completely out of it but Daniels isn’t even bothering with a pin.”
Daniels grabs Hawkins by the hair and pulls him into the corner, his head resting up against the middle turnbuckle. Daniels grabs the ropes and with all his might slams the side of his knee into Hawkins face…
And again…
And again….
…Hawkins slumps down to the mat and again Daniels uses the ropes as leverage and places his boot on Hawkins neck trying to choke him out. The ref lets it go for a few seconds before getting in there and forcing Daniels to stop. Daniels looks none too pleased but didn’t really have a choice in the matter if he wants to continue with the match.
Daniels grabs Hawkins and attempts to pull him up but Hawkins punches Daniels in the cash and prizes and then grabs the man by his face and pulls him downwards, Daniels chin making contact with the bottom of Hawkins boots. Daniels face smacks the boots with such force that Daniels is propelled backwards, and then falls onto the mat.
Hawkins crawls over and makes the cover…
1…
2…
KICK OUT!!!
Hawkins gets to his feet first, Daniels follows suit and get’s to his feet. Daniels manages to strike quickly and pull Hawkins down with a double leg takedown and immediately goes into an Ankle Lock.
JOEY STYLES: “Excellent sequence of moves there by Jerry Daniels.”
Hawkins swings his head up and yells out in pain as Daniels yanks back on the ankle, increasing the pressure significantly. Hawkins is riving in pain, trying to claw at the ropes but to no avail. With every reach to the ropes Daniels pulls back even harder. The ref keeps checking on Hawkins but Joey refuses to give up. And then the strangest thing happens, Hawkins starts doing pushups as if to try and get some momentum and as if he had it all planned out completely spins his body around to break out of the hold.
Hawkins manages to get to his feet but is doing his best not to put any weight on the injured ankle. Unfortunately Daniels smells blood in the water and immediately kicks Hawkins in the injured ankle, which forces Hawkins to double over in pain which gives Daniels the opening he needs and cracks Hawkins in the face with the Shining Wizard.
Daniels hooks the leg for the pin…
1…
2…
3!!!
| Clint Eastwood by Gorillaz plays |
Clint Eastwood by Gorillaz hits on the pa system and out walks Brodie Tyler with a disgusted look on his face. He walks to the ring thrashing his body and head about almost like he is moshing. He stops right before the ring and head bangs. He lifts his head up violently and flails about from being so dizzy. He slides in the ring. Brodie marches around the ring and turns towards a cameraman and grabs the front of the camera. His face takes up the screen and a shit eating grin comes across his face.
| A Lesson Never Learned by Asking Alexandria plays |
"A Lesson Never Learned" hits, roaring guitars filling the arena. Tony Santos descends down the entrance ramp, black trench coat on his back, taking slow, confident strides toward the ring. The disdain from the crowd pouring in, Tony Santos takes it all in with a smirk that would put Alex Rodriguez to shame.
| Shipping Up To Boston by The Dropkick Murphy's plays |
As the song plays special guest ref Phil McOxenballs stumbles out from the back, a bottle of Jameson in his hand. McOxenballs is wearing a standard ref's t-shirt and a pair of shorts and Adidas flip flops. Halfway down the ramp McOxenballs falls flat on his face, rolls over and stares at the ceiling for a few minutes before crawling to the ring.
Brodie Tyler
- vs -
Tony "15 Packs" Santos
Standard One Fall
|
Santos starts off the match by pulling out a cigarette, and lighting it. He takes a feq quick drags before he pulls it out of his mouth, looks Brodie in the eyes and puts the cigarette out on Brodie's face. Santos then hits Brodie with some punches, and one final hard as nails punch lands Brodie on his back. Santos hit Brodie with an atomic knee to the thoat. 15 packs is up and to his feet, so he begins to kick Tyler in the head. This continues until Santos starts hacking up a lung. He has to step back to take a breath, which is when Brodie decided to stand up.
JOEY STYLES: "Looks like all that smoking and all that drinking might be getting to Tony "15 Packs".
Santos runs over to the ropes, climbs, and encourages Brodie to run at him. As Brodie charged Santos he leaps like a majestic one lunged hacking and coughing eagle. He hits Brodie with a diving cross body which sends Brodie to the mat with a thud. Santos is up again and gets Brodie in a boston crab and holds it for a few minutes while Brodie squirms like a worm. Santos lets him out and helps him up to his feet. What a good sport. With both men on their feet Santos decides now is the perfect time to begin dropping some backhand chops to Brodie's face.
JOEY STYLES: "It's like a 1950's couple in here, and Santos is clearly the man."
Brodie grabs his face and recoils from the attacks. Santos has taken this chance to listen to Kreese and sweep the legs. Brodie falls to his back once more and is met with Santos pouncing him like a gazelle. Santos begins to deliver mounted punches to Brodie's face. With every punch Brodie's face gets more busted up, leaving little chance for Arryn Connolly to ever love Brodie. Ever. After 15 fists to Brodie's face he bucks Santos off him before getting up and swinging wildly.
None of his punches connect as Santos as stepped back and decided to hit Brodie with a running enzuigiri. It's super effective. As both men get back up Santos hits Brodie with a Leg Lariet, follows it with a qucik knee drop. Brodie is rolling on the mat, while Santos lifts him by what little hair remains and sets him up in the ring as he runs back to the corner. He climbs the top rope and leaps for The Tony Award (Shooting Star Press). It hits right as Brodie was starting to sit up. Brodie is back on his back, seems a fitting place.
Santos is up first, and he is getting bored of relentlessly beating of Brodie, so Santos just steps back, and takes a minute to drink with Phil, the special guest ref, who until now has been mostly busy drinking and not paying attention. Santos and Phil seem to be sitting on the ropes enjoying some of Phil's hooch and watching as Brodie struggles to his feet. Before he can get up, Tony just walks over and kicks him back down before walking back and passing the bottle back to Phil. This continues with it alternating between Phil and Santos on who kicks Brodie down. Eventually Santos gets bored of this so he walks over, climbs the rope and goes for the Final Destination (Senton bomb). It lands, and he hooks the leg for a pin.
Phil stumbles over, makes the count....
1...
2...
3!!!
Frodo walks down to the ring accompanied by his manager Crack, daughter Katie and son Joseph-Gordon.As Frodo walks down he waves at the crowd as if he were royalty. Once in the ring he removes his hoodie, hands it to Katie and climbs the turnbuckles pumping the crowd up. If they seem unimpressed Katie just shoots them a smile, their hearts melt, and they cheer.
| King of the World by Porcelain and the Tramps plays |
King of the world fades in starting with the chorus while black lights hit the stage. A slight fog raises as Mandii steps out onto the ramp and the lights turn back with flashing pink and white lights. Mandii makes her way down to the ring before jumpping on the side of the ring and "flipping" backwards into the ring before blowing a kiss at her opponent.
Frodo Smackins
- vs -
Mandii Rider
Bra and Thong Match |
As soon as the bell rings Frodo rushes over, grabs Mandii by the hair, and kisses her. Almost immediately she bites Frodo's tongue, and he scurries to the back corner crouched like Gollum. Mandi then charges at Frodo but at the last second Frodo sticks his leg out and connects with Mandi's knee. Frodo leaps out of the corner and wraps himself around the front of Mandi, his weight and momentum taking her down to the mat.
Frodo has Mandii on the ground and mounts for what appear to be a series of punches, but instead he places one of his hands on her breast and the other on her neck before leaning in and begins to kiss her some more. She responds with a solid knee to the groin and a fist to the jaw.
JOEY STYLES: "Look at Frodo gettting to second base with Mandi. It's like softcore porn up in here."
Frodo again rolls off of Mandi and towards the corner, only this time before he gets there he turns around and plants a rising Mandi with a drop kick. Frodo then climbs to the top rope, crouches down and waits again for Mandi to rise...
,,,,,,,,,,
..........
When Mandi finally get's to her feet Frodo jumps off the top rope, clutches Mandi's throat and using his moment choekslams her in the center of the ring. And then goes for the cover...
1...
2...
3!!
JOEY STYLES: "I have to tell you folks, I did not see this one coming. Not with the way Mandi has been fighting. She looked completely unprepared for this one."
Frodo walks over to Mandi and rips her pants down revealing a black thong. After Frodo gets Mandii's pants off he slaps her on the ass, and gives it a little grab before dropping his own pants and running to the back in his bright yellow thong.
JOEY STYLES: "And now it is time for our Main Event. A General Manager Throw Down. Unfortunately Paul Heyman was unable to attend so what started out as a Fatal Four Way will now be a Triple Theat. The winning GM will get to pick someone to face the Universal Champion."
| Brittania Rules the waves plays |
As the theme song plays Archie Lawson comes out to the ring wearing a robe and a
| Somebody Told Me by The Killers plays |
As the song blares over the PA, Giovanni Ferrari makes his way down to the ring, entertaining the fans as he does with various poses and facial expressions.
| Vivaldi by Four Seasons plays |
Miranda Tigris makes her way to the ring, her looks captivating the hearts of all the men in the audience of which there are many. Miranda being the woman she is ignores them all and instead heads directly into the ring to join her Warfare compatriots.
MAIN EVENT
XWF GM Throwdown
Archie Lawson
- vs -
Giovanni Ferrari
- vs -
Miranda Tigris
w/Special Guest Ref
Winner gets to name someone to face the Universal Champion.
Current champ can pick the date and stipulation. |
JOEY STYLES: "Here we go folks, the General Managers of Warfare will square off, the winner gets to hand pick a participant to face the XWF Universal Champion."
All three competitors stare each other down, none of them daring to make the first move....
| Sleep Now In The Fire by Rage Against The Machine plays |
JOEY STYLES" "Oh My God!!"
From the entrance comes former XWF General Manager Wallace Witasick wearing a black suit. He casually walks down to the ring, removes his coat and hangs it over the ropes, revealing a referee's tee underneath. He says nothing to the General Manager's in the ring and instead just signals for the bell.
DING DING DING!!!
With the match now officially started Tigris makes the first move showing that even though she is the only woman in the match, she still has the biggest set of balls as she goes right after Giovanni Ferrari but before he can make contact with him Archie gets in there and takes out Tigris with a clothesline.
JOEY STYLES: “Bit of a cheap shot there by Archie but what else should we expect from a Brit?”
Archie looks up, expecting perhaps a thank you from Ferrari but instead gets a boot to the face. Giovanni then leans down, picks up Tigris and tosses her into the corner which he follows up with another clothesline that leaves Tigris in a seated position, her head resting against the second turnbuckle.
Ferrari backs up a few steps and then charges in, hitting Miranda with a knee to the face. He backs away again and prepares to do it all over again but Archie steps in and connects with Ferrari’s face via a spinning heel kick. Ferrari hits the mat but he doesn’t stay down for long. In fact, he is the up almost immediately
JOEY STYLES: “See, that’s the thing about drug addicts, they feel no pain.”
Ferrari grabs Archie, and tosses him right into the corner like he was a feather. Ferrari slowly and methodically walks over to his two fallen opponent trying to determine which one to strike next. He sees that neither of them are moving a whole lot so instead he decides to play to the crowd a little bit making various gestures like the famed crotch chop.
As he does this Tigris springs to her feet and takes down Ferrari with a hurricanrana and then immediately follows up with repeated elbow strikes to Ferrari’s temple. After 5 such shots Tigris hooks the leg for the pin…
1…
2…
Broken up by Lawson.
Archie landed a double fist to the back of Tigris’ head. He then lifts her up by her long black hair and just tosses her aside. Instead opting to go at Ferarri instead. Bad move as Tigris quickly gets back up and from behind drops Lawson with a reverse DDT. She then quickly ascends the turnbuckles and leaps off, hitting Lawson with a perfectly placed elbow drop to the head. Tigris again with the cover…
1…
2…
CRACK!!!
JOEY STYLES: “What in the hell? Where did Ferrari get a extendable baton? And I guess Witasick is allowing this since he didn’t say a word to Giovanni.”
Miranda falls over, her body having gone completely limp from the baton shot to the head. Giovanni places a boot onto Miranda’s chest and Witasick gets down for the cover…
1…
2…
Again broken up by Lawson.
Lawson grabs at Ferrari and whips him into the ropes and on the return takes Giovanni down with a lariat. He then pulls Gio up spins him around and then plants him with a sidewalk slam. Archie doesn’t even bother with a cover and instead continues to go on the offensive with a series of well placed punches. Archie then backs away from Gio to catch his breath and also to plan out his next attack but he doesn’t get to think long as Tigris takes him out with a cross body block and then another quick strike, this time to the throat of the man from across the pond.
JOEY STYLES: “What Tigris lacks in overall size and strength she makes up for in quickness and agility..”
Ferrari gets to his feet at roughly the same time as his two opponents. The three GM’s look at each other trying to figure out who wants to make the first move; this time Archie Lawson shows the group that he too has a set of balls and makes the first move with a spinning backfist that connects flush with Miranda’s face, the move momentarily stuns her and Archie follows up with a Russian leg sweep.
With Tigris down Giovanni Ferrari moves in to strike Archie but Archie counters and delivers a move of his own, a DDT that catches Ferrari by surprise. Archie again goes on the offensive. He picks up the Ferrari and with a well executed piledriver puts Ferrari down. Archie hooks the leg for the pin…
1…
2…
JOEY STYLES: “What the hell is Wallace doing? Talk about impartial.”
Lawson gets up and gets right into Wallace’s face. Wallace doesn’t back down though instead yelling back at Archie and laughing at him.
Archie starts landing haymakers into Witasick. All the while Ferrari is getting back to his feet. He walks over to Miranda and picks her up and slings her into Archie. Lawson turns around and stops his barrage of haymakers on Wallace to see Miranda staring right at him. Before he can even react Miranda kicks Archie in the balls and then follows up with a facebuster.
Giovanni waits for Miranda to get up and as soon as she does Giovanni spins her around and goes for a Super Kick but Miranda ducks under the kick, catches Ferrari’s foot and punches him right in the fuck stick.
JOEY STYLES: “Miranda seems to have a sound strategy here for winning, destroy her opponents man parts.”
Miranda doesn’t bother with a pin and instead walks over to the corner, ascends the turnbuckle and leaps off…
The frog splash misses as Ferrari rolled out of the way at the last possible second and the splash turns into a belly flop.
JOEY STYLES: “Tigris is down. Ferrari is down. Archie is the lone GM standing.”
The crowd pops…
Frodo Smacks runs out to the ring, still in only his thong, and climbs the top rope, before anyone notices him. He jumps down and throws a punch to Archie Lawson's face, all in one solid motion.
"Told you I'd tag you back for the Administrator's death. Madness forever!”
Frodo runs too the back as quickly as he came.
Archie is wobbling as Miranda and Giovanni get to their feet. Tigris and Giovvani lock up and somehow Tigris gets the advantage and slams her knee into Ferrari’s mid section, backing Giovanni up a few feet. Mirandi turns around to go at Archie but it’s too late…
SUPERKICK!!!!
Lawson almost beheads Miranda Tigris with a superkick but before he can even respond Giovanni jumps in and lays out the Brit with “The Claim To Fame”.(Rock Bottom)
Ferrari with the cover…
1…
2..
3!!!
| Winner: Giovannia Ferrari |
Wallace Witasick raises Giovannia's hand in victory. The two men exchange a handshake and then Wallace begins his track back to the bowels of the XWF while Giovanni stands in the center of the ring soaking it all in.
JOEY STYLES: "A great win by Ferrari, though it did not occur without some questionable actions by Wallace Witasick. I guess that is all folks for this week's edition of...
The arena goes dark...
King of Kings by Motorhead starts playing and all eyes immediately shift to the entrance ramp where a man in a black suit with an unfamiliar face appears. Who the hell is that man? It's clearly not Triple H!
After a few more seconds the man speaks.
?????: "Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to introduce myself..."
...............................
..............................
???? - "My name is Ozymandias."
.............................
............................................
..............................................................
The fans erupt in cheers as the unexpected has happened! Ozymandias the man who has only appeared on the Tron has now revealed himself to the world! What a handsome gentleman!
OZYMANDIAS: "Now first I would like to congratulate Giovanni Ferrari on winning the General Manager Show Down. As a result, your pick of Morbid Angel will receive a Universal Title shot. Now for the real reason I am here. Earlier tonight Paul Heyman came out here and in the process of his grade school ranting about big bad Ozymandias changing the rules on him, as if I had some biased against Kendall Sawyer winning the title. I don't and I didn't. Since I know Paul is back there listening, at least for now, tell me Paul, when was the last time an XWF Championship changed hands or was awarded via count out? Did I change the rules Paul or just make sure that all those involved actually knew the rules? Tell me Paul, would you have come out here and cried like this if your new pet Steve Davids had been able to do what you undoubtedly schemed for him to do and that was help Sawyer win the title? Something tells me you wouldn't. "
"Now, as for my plans for running Madness, well, Paul you need not worry about having to take part in anything you don't want to. You see Paul I am here to announce that after some discussion with XWF Owner "Shane"
, you are no longer the Commissioner of Monday Night Madness. Effective immediately. In addition you are also banned from all XWF events, that includes Madness, Warfare, Shove It and any Pay Per Views. I am however a fair guy and am willing to throw you a bone. You can continue to run that feeder show that no one pays attention to? I would name drop it for you but I honestly don't remember the name. It's a new day ladies and gentlemen, Madness may have been the House that Heyman Built but I am going to take it to the next level."
Shane: "Excuse me Mr. Mandias."
"Shane"
walks out from the back, still wearing his Charlie Sheen mask. In his hand is a microphone with asparagus spears tied to it. "Shane" puts the microphone to his mouth and begins to speak into the batch of asparagus.
Shane: "It's true that Paul Heyman has been fired as the Commissioner of Madness! As the official owner of the entire company, I am proud to say that our very own Ozzy Osbourne will now have full control over Madness and ALL Madness related activities!"
The fans cheer as Shane takes a spear of asparagus from his mic and flips it out into the crowd where about a half dozen people start fighting over it.
Shane: "Unfortunately Ozmeister, I am going to have to make a small adjustment to your announcement. While Heyman has been fired from his position within the XWF staff, he still does have clients he will need to manage. Just to spice things up, I think we need to ALLOW Paul Heyman to appear so that he can further represent his clients on the XWF roster."
On the XWF tron we see Paul Heyman in the back hallways of the arena listening to what "Shane" has to say, a sadistic smile comes across his face when he hears the news.
Back in the ring Ozymandias looks frustrated as he watches Shane Anonistrator.
Shane: "Besides, Oz, I think I'd like to see you and Heyman get to know each other a little better. It will be fun for me and all of these wonderful people!"
The fans roar as Shane hops into the air and clicks his heels together before trotting to the back with his asparagus mic held high in the air.
JOEY STYLES: "Unbelievable. Ozymandias is indeed a real person, he has fired Paul Heyman and now "Shane
" has come out here and let it be known that he is a wild card in all of this. Things are sure to pick up next week on another edition of Monday Night Madness.
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