Steve Sayors, in the middle of interviewing some useless tomato can wrestler, cried out in fear as Leroy crashed through the wall and stormed onto the set. With a swipe of his massive arm he casually swatted the security staff that swarmed about him into unconsciousness. Sayors was backing up, attempting to stutter something out of his mouth as Leroy lifted up his interviewee by the head, crushed his skull and tossed him in the general direction of the camera crew. He waited for a moment for Sayors to collect himself, but when the little man continued to stutter, Leroy opted to take the microphone from Sayors and conduct the interview himself.

BigBadLeroy: Alright, lets get to the point.

Leroy noticed the blood dribbling down his lips and stopped.

BigBadLeroy: Actually, hang on a second.

Leroy licked his lips and used his t-shirt to wipe some of the blood off around his mouth and then continued.

BigBadLeroy: The purpose of this interview is to tell you, the public, the masses, a little a bit about Big Bad Leroy. Cause, hey, I'm in between meals and I figure I feel like hearing my own voice. Now, a lot of you are probably wondering yourselves, what is so special about this guy, Big Bad Leroy? And of course, you might, think, well, its Big Kong and Goliath, otherwise known as my left and right biceps:



Or perhaps you supposed that it was the ever vigilant Sentinel:



And yes, you'd be right, those are indeed, impressive attributes, well worth spending your time thinking about and attempting, in utter futility, to visualize in your minds. However, if you guessed that was in fact, not why you, the public is so enthralled with myself, then you'd also be right. My incredible body, though it is unrivaled in the entire galaxy, is actually not my most impressive attribute.

Now, some amongst those watching are probably thinking that, it must be my inhuman strength, which in fact far outstrips that which a man of my size and build ought to possess, based on everything that you know and understand. And yet again, this is not the case. It is indeed impressive that I can stride like the giant I am through rush hour traffic, shouldering through cars the way you people shoulder through crowds. And it is also notable that I am capable of crushing steeling with my bare hands as easily as one of you might crumple up a sheet of paper.

But that in fact, is not what is special about Big Bad Leroy.

No, what is special about me is in fact, my tremendous character. I am perhaps, the only virtuous man in existence. You see, this strength, this power that I possess would mean nothing a man of lesser character. It would simply be abused or worse yet, left unused and thus wasted. You see, a man's strength is similar, to use a rather vulgar analogy, to a gun; it is no better or worse than he who wields it. Excuse me for a moment...

Armed security pours into the studio, immediately opening fire on Leroy. The bullets merely bounce off his massive chest. Leroy reaches for the headless body of the wrestler he murdered upon his arrival and rips off his forearm.

Leroy: Sampson slew the Philistines with a jawbone, did he not?

Minutes later, after killing the security forces, Leroy calmly picks back up his microphone and continues speaking to the camera.

Leroy: Now, that was actually perfect timing by those gentleman. They illustrate my point perfectly. Although, actually, since I mentioned Sampson, I think I prefer to use him as my example. Sampson, like me, was quite strong. However, unlike me, he only ever used that strength for violence and brutality, slaying men in the name of God, slaying them for the Tribe of Israel, for the woman he loved...but never...never...once, did he truly act in his own interests. Why, I doubt the man even really, truly knew what his interests, his actually authentic desires were! This is the ultimate violence...the violence he delivered upon himself, in the act of suppressing his own will, his own desires...the very things to which a man's strength may be naturally, properly conscripted to the service of....that he might be a slave to his Tribe, who is in turn enslaved themselves, each and every one of them, to the traditions and morals that they inherited from their ancient, dead ancestors.

And ultimately, the slave Sampson died for his masters, died prostrating himself before a false God...while denying the one, true deity...the individual's will.

It is with this notion of God, truly, that has made slaves of history's Sampsons, that has turned even Beowulf into a pitiful coward who meekly lay down his own, infinitely more precious life against the Dragon for sake of his people who were too weak to fight on behalf of themselves. Its this illusory God that is the custodian of this moral code that has so forcefully conscripted the entirety of mankind to its service, even those that claim disbelief!

For even when they deny God, they retain a notion of this moral code as something sacred and inviolable. They fear to violate the code, they hold the code sacred...

...and yet, I, I have rejected this code...and that, is the greatest act of strength in the history of humanity! It is what has set me astride humanity, towering as a great colossus before the pitiful slave hordes that make up my brethren.

It is why you masses adore me, not because of my beautiful, powerful physique...for this is merely a reflection, an echo...of the great virtue that I hold inside of me! I am the first freeman to emerge from millennium after millennium of slaves! I--

Vixen and Jade step through the piles and piles of dead bodies, carrying, between the two of them, what looks to be over 50 pounds of protein powder.

Vixen: Leroy, it is time for your protein.

Jade: You were not rambling again, were you? I do hate it when you talk like...like a pencil neck...

BigBadLeroy: Sorry, babe, I get like that when I'm late fer my protein. Point is, boys an' girls, Big Bad Leroy do what he wants, when he wants t'do it an' if I can do it, you can do it! Don't be lettin' yer moms or nobody else tell y'otherwise! The courage t'follow after yer desires...t'crush under yer boot what this blasted thing called society--

Vixen: Leroy, go clean yourself up. Remember, you have to take Jade and I to the cinema tonight. You promised many times.

BigBadLeroy: I--

Vixen: Go, go, and please, change your clothing.

BigBadLeroy: Awright babe, Big Bad Leroy, signin' off!