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Guppy Parsh · (04-08-2014)

"THAT'S THE SAME THING I call ur mom!" the voice had a four letter word for every roster member's mother.

Guppy hummed, wickedly. The voice's esophagus was red like fresh grapes.

"I HEARD U WANT to fight somebody EASY! SO HOW ABOUT YOU FIGHT GUPPY PARSH ON THE NEXT warfare," the voice always had great suggestions, "IN A SUICIDAL DREAM MATCH!"

The voice's favorite demon, (the) Guppy, fishclawed in anticipation. Was Easy too busy signing up for shows he'd only have three days of preparation for to accept the call of battle? Was his vagina as gaping as Mr. Radio's? Was Easy the type to back down from every challenge thrown down?

"IN A SUICIDAL DREAMS MATCH there are no rules! THERE ARE JUST DREAMS!" the voice always considered itself to be a dreamer.

Easy · **04-08-2014, 06:19 PM**

"E": You've got a lot of nerve, you soft penis milk maid, were you breastfed until 12 years old or something? I do not know you. I do not know why I should care. And I don't know why someone of such little value would put their life on the line. It seems there are a few things that I...do not know.

Here's something I DO know...

I know I'm gonna beat your ass Doc, beat it to the fucking ground. There are few things clearer in my mind. But in this profession, especially the corner we occupy, there's a certain delusion with which we need to self medicate in order face some of the twisted challenges put before us. Believe me, the lies and half truths I've had to feed myself to get here could scare the mean off an alligator. I won't be surprised if you think you could beat me, so I'm gonna give you a quick rundown of what you can expect from me.

I'm probably gonna hammer you a couple times in the center of the ring, knocking you on your knees. Then, I'm gonna charge you into the corner and smash at your head until you want to vomit and your eyes feel like they're gonna pop out of your skull. Then, I'm gonna throw you around the ring, back and forth, back and forth, until your ankles have rolled to all degrees, and the shin splints make you beg for amputation. You're probably gonna try and take it to the ground and slow things up, but I'll have more knees in your gut than a church pew. Around then, I'll probably leaving you standing all stupid like in the center of the ring, waiting for me to barrel into you like a fucking freight train, then pick you up and drop you on your fucking skull for the 1, 2, 3.

I'd give you the opportunity to rethink your challenge, but since you called me by name, and you happen to have the stunted intellect of a child who thinks invoking someone's mother is the most vicious, most clever tactic in an argument, I've decided I'm going to put your ass in the ground. While I'm pounding your skull with my elbows, whatever twisted machismo that led to you calling my name will spill down your trunks and If you can walk by the end of our match, I'll be breathless. Now go hop back up whichever nasty asshole you got squirted from.

Guppy Parsh · **04-08-2014, 07:14 PM**

"I don't have to think. My soul servant will destroy u in my SUICIDAL DREAM MATCH! I'LL LET arsechie lawnson know that GUPPY PARSH will destroy u," the voice was always ready for slaughter fights.

(the) Parsh wickedly soaked his fingers with the blood flowing out of his crotch.

Easy · **04-08-2014, 08:41 PM**

"E": It's like you refuse to act like someone I'd even be remotely interested in pursuing. If I wasn't dead set on smothering you like an ugly baby, I would have absolutely no motivation to get into the ring with someone as hollow and pathetic as you.

Guppy Parsh · **04-08-2014, 08:57 PM**

"u wont b saying that when ur dead," the voice has never spoken in death.

Easy · **04-08-2014, 09:09 PM**

"E": My eventual death, and what I'll be saying around that time has little to nothing to do with an idiot like you.

Guppy Parsh · **04-08-2014, 09:17 PM**

"ya so u wont b saying it when U DEAD, duh

, cuz u cant talk when ur dead cuz ur JUST a mortal," the voice wasn't a mortal so it couldn't die. "I'm just SAYING my guppy's gonna hurt you. that's all. AND WHEN U DIE U WON'T BE ME!" the voice was what everyone wanted to be.

Easy · **04-08-2014, 09:35 PM**

"E": I was really hoping not to hear anymore of your perpetual nonsense, but it's not the first prayer of mine to go unanswered.

Guppy Parsh · **04-08-2014, 09:50 PM**

"that's bcuz u weren't praying 2 me. I am a real saint. u can pray 2 ur GOD OR WHICHEVER

, but they aren't me they can't consider ur thoughts," the voice was the highest authority on some manners about certain things.

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