![[Image: 800px-Moda_Center.JPG]](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/74/Moda_Center.JPG/800px-Moda_Center.JPG)
Moda Center
Portland, Oregon
Yamato
- vs -
The Gladiator
- vs -
Omega
Standard Match, One Fall
Colt Griffin
- vs -
Dr. Honkey Shadows
Standard Match, One Fall
Swagmire Swaggins
- vs -
Romulus Heinrich Winters
X-Treme Rules Match, One Fall
Spike Hannigan
- vs -
Rick Jones
Standard Rules Match, One Fall
Morbid Angel
- vs -
Tri Bute
X-Treme Rules, Best 2/3 Falls
MAIN EVENT
Griffin MacAlister
- vs -
Sebastian Duke
Buried Alive Match: Winner receives control of both Tag Team Titles
|
Yamato
- vs -
The Gladiator
- vs -
Omega
Standard Match, Triple Threat, One Fall
The three competitors are in the ring, ready to start the match when all of a sudden, the lights die out. When they come back on however, there's that damn nWo attacking the competitors. Nash and Hall are double teaming the Gladiator, backing him into a corner. Hogan body slams Yamato and Macho Man's diving off the turnbuckle and delivering a hellish looking Double Axe Handle right to the top of Omega's skull. Omega falls back first onto the mat and Macho delivers a few stomps. Hogan runs off the ropes and hits a super duper Leg Drop on Yamato. Macho climbs up top and hits a huge Diving Elbow drop on Omega! However, that's nothing compared to what Nash and Hall are doing to the Gladiator! The pair have him trapped in the corner, both delivering a series of punches, kicks, and knees to all parts of his body before both back up off him. Nash grabs Hall by the arm and Irish Whips him into Gladiator's corner! Hall collides with the Gladiator, squashing him like a bug. Hall backs up and grabs him by the back of the neck and dragging him close to the ropes. He sets him up...
Outsider's Edge! OUT OF THE RING!
Gladiator smacks back first off the barricade and slumps over, kneeling on the floor with only his arms being caught in the barricade to keep him up slightly. Nash gets out of the ring, making sure not to tear his quad in the process. He pulls Gladiator up and sets him up...
JACKKNIFE POWERBOMB! ONTO THE APRON! Gladiator's neck jolts violently on impact and his limp body falls to the floor. No paramedics come out. The nWo members all look down at their handiwork and smile before the lights cut to black once more.
Once they turn back on however, they're gone. Just as quick as they arrived, they've vanished!
Winner: The fans
Dr. Honkey Shadows
- vs -
Colt Griffin
Standard Match, One Fall
The lights dim as the music hits and the spot lights race and flash all around the arena. Colt Griffin walks out with his arms slightly outstretched as if he's saying "admire me." He walks down the ramp with a million dollar smile, pointing to and saying sweet nothings to any particularly attractive women that he happens to see. He also reaches his hand out to any kids that are looking for a high five but pulls his hand away at the last second. Colt makes the ref open the ropes for him and he heads to the far right corner. He climbs to the second turnbuckle and closes his eyes and looks up as he outstretches his arms to pose as sparks come down from above the ring. Colt then props himself up in the corner as he wait for his opponent.
The lights in the arena dim once more as Dr. Honkey Shadow's music begins to play and a spotlight shines down on the top of the rampway. Soon from the backstage area emerge eight mammoth women who are either body builders or fell into pools filled with toxic waste and steroids which mutated them into super human she beasts. They’re all wearing glittery outfits that are WAY too small for them and have “hail to the Dr.” written across their tank tops right below their muscular cleavage. Who doesn’t like muscular cleavage? That however isn’t even the best part; the best part is what these Amazon bitches are carrying which happens to be a litter. Of puppies? Well judging by the fact that they all have the faces of pit bulls, that wouldn’t be surprising. However what they’re actually carrying is a litter aka a gama aka a tahtirevan aka a lectica aka a palanquin aka a sedan chair aka that throne thing you always see kings riding on in movies with the poles on the bottom so people can carry it. This one is golden and massive. Of course sitting on the two separate thrones attached to this thing of beauty are none other than Dr. Honkey Shadows and Bartholomew Mungbrycington Pompilio XV. Dr. Honkey and Bartholomew both stand up with their arms extended as the massive women carry them down the ramp. That's when the lights come back up and money begins to fall from the rafters. After finally making it to the ringside area the Amazon bitches put the thrones on the ground and Dr. Honkey just stands there as if refusing to move. After a couple of moments we see why, two of the Amazon bitches grab brown sacks off of the back of the throne and begin tossing rose petals on the ground in front of him leading up to the ring. Dr. Honkey walks across the trail of rose petals and climbs into the ring. Dr. Honkey then extends his arms out to both sides allowing the people to take in his greatness. Meanwhile Bartholomew stays seated in his throne just watching.
The whole time Colt Griffin is taking in the display from the corner and appears unimpressed. The referee has words with both men before finally ringing the bell. Colt and Shadows both make their way to the center of the ring and surprisingly Dr. Honkey Shadows extends his hand to Griffin for a handshake. Even more surprising is the fact that Colt obliges, all of a sudden Shadows drops to his knees grimacing still gripping Colt in the handshake. Meanwhile Griffin couldn't look more confused and..... DR. HONKEY SHADOWS TAPS OUT! The ref calls for the bell and Dr. Honkey Shadows rolls out of the ring celebrating like he just won the match. Bartholomew Mungbrycington Pompilio XV jumps up from his throne in celebration as he hugs his father, also the amazon bitches jump up and down with their big ol muscly knockers jiggling in celebration. Dr. Honkey Shadows theme music even begins to play as Honkey and Bartholomew Mungbrycington Pompilio XV sit on their thrones and are carried out by the jumbo women. Meanwhile the ref raises the arm of Colt Griffin who is still confused right along with everybody else in the arena. What the hell is going on here?
Winner: Colt Griffin
Colt Griffin is walking down the hall, still confused as to the happenings of his debut match. He walks and walks, with no real direction or aim it seems until he runs into the nWo. No, literally. He bumps into Hollywood Hulk Hogan who was busy doing bicep curls with a custom made dumbbell made to be the exact weight of Andre the Giant the date he body slammed him. Griffin takes a few steps back and gapes, while Hogan drops his weight on the floor, which shakes when it lands. Hogan pokes Griffin on the chest, and nothing happens. He looks surprised and looks down at his index finger. He pokes him again, same result. Once more. No difference. He huffs and puffs, and Griffin is still standing there for some reason and pokes him again!
Nothing.
Then Hogan punches him in the face. That worked. Griffin stumbles back, covering his nose with his hand, letting droplets of blood fall onto his palm. He storms forward and gets into Hogan's face, but Hogan simply grabs him by the cheek and shoves him into the middle of the square formed by the members of the nWo. Macho Man cracks his knuckles, Nash cracks his neck, Hall cracks open a bottle of beer. Griffin gulps and adopts a fighting stance. Hall takes a swig of his beer, downing it with one massive gulp, and comes up behind Griffin. He smashes the glass bottle over his head and drops him to his knees! Hall then grabs Griffin by his hair and shoves him face first into the ground, over and over again. Then, he calls over Nash. Hall peels Griffin off the cement and hooks his arms behind him while Nash delivers a huge right hook that seemingly knocks him out. Macho Man has a nail gun and Hogan has a bottle of spray paint.
Nash and Hall drag him over to the wall and hold him up while Macho Man drives nails into Griffin's clothes and the wall, making them combined like one new entity. After that process is done, Hogan spray paints nWo on the wall above him.
The group then walks off once more without explanation. No electrical problems this time though.
Swagmire Swaggins
- vs -
Romulus Heinrich Winters
X-Treme Rules Match, One Fall
"It's Not Unusual" by Tom Jones plays, and Swagmire Swaggins dances his way down the ramp, looking vaguely like Carlton Banks. Only vaguely, however.
The words "Bones vere made to be broken." sound off and flash across the X-tron as "For Whom The Bell Tolls" by Metallica cranks up the crowd. Some people, hardcore fans of pro wrestling cheer quite loudly. While others, children and women, boo their hearts out. For standing in the mist at the top of the stage is a monster. Seven foot. Three hundred pounds of sheer destruction. Romulus Winters roars and throws his arms out to the sides, machine gun like pyro going off at his sides. He then makes his way down the ramp, staring his opponent down through ice blue eyes. He grabs the top rope and steps over, throwing his fist high into the air, flames exploding behind him.
Ding ding ding!
Winters cracks his neck and Swaggy grabs the ropes to aid in stretching. The ref backs out of the line of fire and the two step closer, ever closer to each other and lock up in the center of the ring. Being the bigger man in the exchange, Winters delivers a huge clubbing blow to Swaggy's back that doubles him over. Winters then follows that up with a huge gutwrench suplex that while certainly impressive, doesn't do much to severely debilitate Swaggy just yet. Instead, Swaggy shoves himself back to his feet after a second of writhing in pain.
Swaggy throws a punch that connects right with the stomach of Winters that makes the bigger man stumble back a couple feet before coming back forward with a left jab to the nose. Swaggy's dazed momentarily and Winters follows up with another jab, this time to the cheek. He goes for a hook, but Swaggy ducks and comes back in with a huge uppercut! An uppercut so powerful that it knocks Winters off his feet and down to the ground. It looks like he wasn't expecting that! Swaggy hits a knee drop on Winter's shoulder. He tries for another but Winters rolls out of the way and out of the ring entirely. Swaggy clutches his knee for a moment before going on the chase. Winters is ready for this however, and delivers a well placed knee right to the stomach of the oncoming Swagmire. Swaggy drops to his knees, clutching his midsection before Winters measures him up for Das Boot - a running big boot!
No! Swaggy ducks at the last second! He spins Winters around and hits a Snap Suplex! He floats over and begins throwing a series of punches to the face of his fallen opponent! After three or four of these punches however, Winters grabs Swaggy's hand and delivers a huge headbutt that knocks him off his mounted perch. Winters gets back to his feet and charges after Swaggy with a lariat, but Swaggy ducks it and the crook of his elbow ends up wrapped around the base of the turnbuckle. Swaggy takes this opportunity and slowly approaches Winters, who frees himself of his predicament, with a sore arm to spare now.
Swaggy shoves him back first into the same turnbuckle base that his arm was just wrapped around before driving a shoulder into his midsection, forcing Winters' back further into the metal pole! Another shoulder thrust! Another! Swaggy goes for a fourth, but Winters gets a knee up and catches his opponent in the face! He grabs Swaggy back the back of his head and smashes his face off the pole!
Swaggy stumbles back and falls flat on his ass. Winters peels him back up to his feet just long enough to get him up for a sidewalk slam onto the unforgiving cement. Winters then walks over to the apron and reaches under, pulling out a sledgehammer! A cackle escapes his lips as he takes hold of the weapon by the head and handle and drives it downward, into the stomach of Swagmire! The air looks to have escapes Swaggy's lungs and he shoots into a seated position. From here, he gets hit with a shot from the wooden handle of the weapon! Swagmire falls back to the cement. Winters goes for another shot with the weapon, but Swagmire hits a low blow before he can connect! The sledgehammer falls out of his hands, and Swagmire gets back to his feet. He then hits a snap DDT that drives Winters face first into the cement.
Swaggy peels Winters up to his feet and whips him into the ring before grabbing the sledgehammer and following him in. Winters gets back to his feet and charges after the freshly gotten into the ring Swagmire. Swaggy swings the sledgehammer right as Winters goes for the Execution (Knock Out Punch).
Swaggy connects!
So does Winters!
They both fall to the mat, one of Winters' hands falls atop Swagmire's chest, and one of Swagmire's hands do the same to Winters!
The ref drops down for the count!
1...................
2...............................................
3!
Winner: Draw
Spike Hannigan
- vs -
Rick Jones
Standard Match, One Fall
Suddenly the crowd erupts and a black jeep with nWo painted in white on the side doors comes speeding down the entry ramp. The driver slams on the breaks but it was too late as the jeep slams into the side of the ring. The driver comes flying through the windshield and rolls through the ropes and into the ring.
Rick Jones and Spike Hannigan both look down at the man not sure if he's dead or alive or what to do even do. Jones reaches down to grab the man...
Oooooooooh yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
TZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!
TZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!
"Macho Man" Randy Savage rolls over, a cattle prod in his hand, both Jones and Hannigan are now down in the ring, shaking a bit from the electric voltage that is now surging through their bodies. Savage grabs the two men and pulls them both into the center of the ring, positioning their bodies side by side...
TZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!
TZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!
Savage shocks both men again, and then quickly runs to the turnbuckle, climbs up, points high to the sky and then takes flight..off delivering a double elbow that connects flush with the face of both men.
Savage walks over to his jeep, grabs a small silver cylinder and removes the cap....
TSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
TSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Savage makes a spray paint outline of the two men who are unconscious in the middle of the ring.
Macho Man: Oohhhhhhhh yeahhhhhhhhhh!!! The Madness is here!!! nWo 4 life. Dig it!
Savage climbs out of the ring, get's back into his jeep and backs away from the ring, the front of the jeep smashed in a bit, the left tire wobbling slightly as Savage backs the jeep back up the entry ramp, honking the horn for all the fans.
Winner: No Contest
Morbid Angel
- vs -
Tri Bute
X-Treme Rules, Best 2/3 Falls
The match begins seeing both Morbid Angel and Tri Bute exchanging blows. Morbid catching Bute with a mean backhanded chop before following it up with several hard right jabs and a killer left hook that sends Tri Bute reeling backwards!
However Bute managed to come back with a Big Future Boot!
From there it was a Future Eye Poke and a Standing Future Fireman’s Carry Future Slam!
Morbid was down and feeling the pain when Tri Bute then took it upon himself to start laying a few stomps to Angel's ribs, stomach and chest. At one point Bute even used the ropes as leverage to really get those stomps in but good!
But then suddenly, through the stomps Morbid managed to grab a hold of Bute's leg. Angel yanked Tri Bute down to the canvas.
With Bute down Morbid rolled over and began delivering some mounted punches. But Bute retaliated with a Low Blow! Morbid dropped to the side. Rolling about the canvas and holding his wounded balls!
Tri Bute then made his move and jumped onto Morbid, delivering a set of his own Mounted Punches!
Bute was in a fury, in a rage like no one has seen before. He was pounding away on Morbid like there was no tomorrow! Morbid's nose even got busted open and blood began to pour down his face!
Morbid was in a real jam, he needed to do something. So Morbid reached down. Stuck his hand deep into his pocket and pulled out a....
BANANAR!
Yes, Morbid had a bananar in his pocket and it somehow didn't get squished through all this chaos. Morbid raised the bananar in the air and smashed it right into Bute's face. Tri Bute screamed and fell back. Frantically wiping and his face as he rolled back and forth on the canvas.
Perhaps bananars are lethal in the future? Who's to say really, why this effected Bute in this fashion but what can be said is it gave Morbid the opening he needed.
Morbid then rose to his feet and grabbed for the ring bell!
Standing over Tri Bute, Morbid started smashing the ring bell down onto Tri Bute! The bell colliding with Tri Bute's face and chest as he tried to both wipe the bananar off and shield himself from Morbid's attack! Yet the blows from that ring bell just kept coming, until finally the bell was smashed into a ball of twisted and mashed up steel!
With an annoyed huff, Morbid tosses the ring bell out into the audience. A fan in the front row eating a bananar was instantly taken out and his bananar dropped to the floor. Morbid sees this and dives out of the ring.
Suddenly things move in slow motion. Morbid soars towards the fan barricade. His hair flowing in the breeze because for some reason it's become windy all of a sudden. His arms outstretched as he careens forward.
The bananar falls still.
Morbid's so close and.....
And....
He catches the bananar!
Smashing straight on into the fan barricade afterwards.
But Morbid rises to his feet and with a triumphant laugh, he holds the bananar into the air!
Morbid's eyes snapping to the ring where Bute was slowing rising. Morbid doesn't waste time though. Charging for the ring, Morbid climbs the apron and proceeds to pull himself up onto the top turnbuckle. Morbid gets into position and holds the bananar out like a spear before he leaps off the turnbuckle. Crashing into Bute with a magnificently performed Frog Splash!
Immediately after that, Morbid smashes the bananar right in Tri Bute's face! This time some of it even getting smashed into Bute's mouth! Bute shrieks and surges up off the canvas. Drastically effected by the bananar attack! Even more so than from that Frog Splash he received. Which is just bizarre to say the least but clearly opens up another opportunity for Morbid to reach down, pull Tri Bute up by his head and then execute - Gott ist Tot! (Crucifix Powerbomb)
Morbid goes for the pin!
1
2
Three!
This is a best two out of three falls match though, so Morbid needs to pin Bute again to win this!
Morbid wrenches Tri Bute off the canvas. But Bute managed to get all of the bananar off his face and puked out the rest that went into his mouth!
Bute seems to have gotten things back together somehow. Bute fires a few elbows into Morbid's gut. Morbid doubles over and Bute spins around, delivering a Double Axehandle to Morbid's back!
Morbid falls but Tri Bute stops Morbid from hitting the canvas. Bute gives Morbid a Hip Toss towards the ropes! Morbid slams into them and Tri Bute charges for Morbid Angel!
Suddenly Bananars!
Falling from a chute in the ceiling and covering Tri Bute!
Morbid blinks, rubs his eyes and looks around. What the fuck just happened? Tri Bute is now buried under a pile of bananars!
But wait.
On the ramp.
It's Giovanni Ferrari with a remote control in his hand!
Morbid sees Gio and waves.
Gio gives a thumbs up sign and walks off, disappearing backstage.
Morbid grins and walks over to the pile of bananars. He uncovers Tri Bute a bit and then plants his boot on Tri Bute's chest. Pinning Tri Bute with his mighty boot!
1
2
Bananar!
I mean....Three!
Winner: Morbid Angel
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