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Clean Lucena · (03-18-2014)

- an image appears in a pretty low-quality, Cheat's on it with the US title over his shoulder, in what we think it's a wrestling ring. We can't see the person that is recording -

Cheat: Is it on?

Biographer: Put some faith on me, Ernesto!

Cheat: Ok. Eyepoke! So simple. It's as easy as put two of your fingers in the other guy eyes with a simple whip of your hand. Take the easy way uh? That's how most of the people recognise it. But none of them see it my way. The Cheat way. It's not just a little trickery to bring the match to your table. It's a lot more than that. Not only dirty tactics as eyepokes, cheat is an art. And art is made for people that has enough taste to delight it. So I don't really care if you don't like that I won this title through, I don't remember how much time were... five, six, seven... anyway, through lots of eyepokes. If you are sensitive enough to realise how good, beautiful and difficult it's to make such a performance, you will enjoy it. Because it's so nice... you move your arm... the other guy don't see it coming at all, everything's in slow motion, you're arm is so light, so easy to move... - meanwhile, Cheat's is also doing that soft move in the rhythm on his words coming out his mouth - it's not any kind of powermove that you has to make lot of effort. It's simplicity it's where it's art resides... and you're more or less reaching a medium way between him and you... he maybe could be thinking "the fuck he's doing, maybe he's just trying to punch me on my face or chest, I don't know, it's so difficult for now to realise it, he just has his arm in the middle of us and he's not making any suspect gesture, he's just moving his arm close to me and his fist and fingers are just limps... but he's Cheat so...". Oh, I love that moment when you say "he's Cheat". Yes, it's me, so you get double nervous about it. Because obviously, the fact that I'm Cheat Lucena and I loves to cheat make you be double alert to any kind of strange move. And in that moment, I know what are you thinking. You're thinking I'm an asshole that can fuck you again after I kicked you in the balls before, after take ropes in the two roll-ups I applied to you before and you know I would cheat on you again in order to have any chance to win the match, so It's a win-win situation for me. You're in a debility moment just with one light move. But then, he realise it's the moment...- he moves his fore and middle finger, closing his eyes, bitting his mouth, like delighting the moment -... it's the moment when his sight is going to get as black as Oprah's ass. The two eyes are running to your eyes, and it's too late to move. Maybe you can try to hide, maybe you think there is a scape. I'm smelling that. I'm feeling that and I'm enjoying so much this moment. Using dirty tactics, there is no moral superiority, you're not going to get more honest, strong or anything good at all in that moment if you stand an Eye Poke. And that's makes me better than you being THE WORST.

There is, I don't know, like millions of wrestlers in the world and any of them use this as a normal tactic, as a normal weapon, just in moments when they're in debility, and only if they're a tenth part as bad as me makes me chuckles. Just me use it. And it's too much easy to perform than any other move. Look in the situation I'm putting the guy just with the preparation of the move. My fingers almost reaching your eyes. Graceful. Delicate. Ok, dirty, but that's the better thing of this move for me. It's dirty. As dirty as life, but I won't spend my time trying to be clean. And suddenly, when, if you didn't do anything to avoid it... and a grin of pleasure hits my face...- and finally, directing his fingers to the US. Title, he stick the fingers on it - EVERYTHING TURNS BLACK! you can't see anything. With such a easy, simple, beautiful moment. And the fact that, knowing that I'm Cheat Lucena and one of my trademork includes an Eye Poke and you did nothing is the funniest part of all. Mmmmm...- Cheat bites his lip - And everything is settled for the continuation... and roll-up to end with the Spanish Rogue that I'll explain in other occasion... a elbow strike again to your eyes... I can do whatever. Because gracefully I turn off the lights. It's that simple. EYE POKE, SUCH AN ART. You can't agree with my methods but I'm sorry to tell that THIS - Cheat points the title - is where being THE WORST IN THE WORLD brought me. Gold. All the bad feelings of those wrestlers that have against my person ends in nothing when they realize I'm the champ and they're not. That's how you should feel, Radio.

So, this wednesday Warfare would not be different. Kim Jong Un, Brunhilde. You can do two things. Trying to cover your eyes with your hands at the match in a way you get weak to end up being roll-up'ed or put something on your eyes enough dark and strong to end up roll-up'ed anyway, even kicked on your guts

I'm sorry for you but I'm Cheat Lucena, The Woooooorst In The Wooooooorld and I don't call it a win if it's clean.

End of the promo

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